˒⠀S O T T . . . 𝙲𝙰𝚁𝙳𝙸𝙸𝙰𝙲

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❛ JUST 𝑺𝑻𝑶𝑷 YOUR CRYING,
IT'S A 𝑺𝑰𝑮𝑵 OF THE 𝑻𝑰𝑴𝑬𝑺. ❜

the perfectionist! ━━ no. 031
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     WE, AS WRITERS, SHOULD THINK OF ANY AND EVERY FLAW THAT COULD OCCUR IN A SCENE. A character's personality doesn't need to be constantly on display, but thinking about things that might bug them will give you insight into how they're thinking and feeling. It also helps if you realize a scene could use some dialogue breaks or flashes of personality.

     Body language, private habits, dress and grooming, and even dialogue can be used to "show" how a character thinks and feels. Is their house tidy, but their social life a mess? Is their social life pristine, but their career full of ups and downs? Is actually everything in their life perfect on the outside, but when something goes slightly awry they have a meltdown? And once you figure out how your character thinks and feels, you can more easily write how they live and behave.

     In my opinion, one of the best character flaws and personality traits for a character to have is perfectionism. And today, that is what we will be talking about.

     As someone who is inherently a perfectionist in every aspect of her life, it's so difficult to get things done quickly. Before I do something, I make sure I have everything organized and perfect. I need things to be done and to be done correctly. I want my work, writings, and plans to be perfect and flawless. However, as Hannah Montana said, nobody is perfect and neither are characters. Though your character can be a perfectionist, and that makes for an interesting character arc.

     Now, there are different kinds of perfectionists, and it helps to do research so you can narrow down your character. From there you can decide what perfectionist habits they might display. There are also articles online about how to live with people with varying issues and disorders. For the sake of your other characters, see if you can't find some good advice on how to live with a perfectionist.

     To help with that journey, I have done some research for you!

     ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐘𝐏𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔? ⸝⸝ ⇗
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀→ ⺌ This section is inspired by an article from Psychology Today. Credit for this portion goes to them. Disclaimer: I have added my own words, advice, and paraphrased sections of the article.

          ❝ 𝗜𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗺 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗹𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲? 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗲𝘀𝘁. ❞

          "Can you have too much of a good thing? Like many personality constructs, there are both good and bad aspects of traits. Research on perfectionism suggests that there are both adaptive and maladaptive forms of perfectionism.

          "Adaptive perfectionists strive for success, tend to complete tasks on time, and have high standards for their work (taking into account their strengths and limitations; i.e., they don't "overdo" it). Perfectionism becomes maladaptive when the individual becomes overly concerned with "perfect" performance so that nothing becomes "good enough," and those too-high standards are applied to others' behavior. Maladaptive perfectionism may cause an individual to avoid taking on tasks for fear of making an error or not being able to complete it up to their lofty standards.

          "Research by psychologists Hewitt and Flett suggests that there are three forms of perfectionism: self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed.

━━ 𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙-𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗠: this type "leads people to be conscientious, to hold high standards for performance, and is associated with greater work productivity and career success."

           ➳❥ 𝙁𝙐𝙍𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀. . . Here are items from their Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale that suggest high self-oriented perfectionism:

               ● I strive to be as perfect as I can be.
               ● It makes me uneasy to see an error in my work.
               ● I must work to my full potential at all times.
               ● I set very high standards for myself.

━━ 𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥-𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗗 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗠: this type "involves holding others to very high standards and is associated with being judgmental and critical of others' performance. This can lead to the individual not delegating work to others (for fear that they will screw it up), and problems in working relationships."

           ➳❥ 𝙁𝙐𝙍𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀. . . Other-oriented perfectionism items include:

               ● I can't be bothered by people who won't strive to better themselves.
               ● I cannot stand to see people close to me make mistakes.
               ● If I ask someone to do something, I expect it to be done flawlessly.

━━ 𝗦𝗢𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗬 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗕𝗘𝗗 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗠: this type "is driven by a sense of pressure to be perfect in everything you do. With socially-prescribed perfectionism, the individual's self-worth is tied up with a sense of unrealistically high standards that others hold for the individual. The socially-prescribed perfectionists experience anxiety over their performance, and may obsess about being "good enough to meet society's standards." Major setbacks are problematic for socially prescribed perfectionists."

           ➳❥ 𝙁𝙐𝙍𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙀. . . Socially prescribed perfectionism items include:

               ● I find it difficult to meet other's expectations of me.
               ● The people around me expect me to succeed at everything I do.
               ● I feel that people are too demanding of me.

          "In short, there is nothing wrong with holding high self-standards for one's performance. There are benefits to being moderately conscientious and somewhat perfectionistic. However, holding oneself or others to unrealistically high standards of behavior, or feeling that "the world" is demanding you to be absolutely perfect, can be maladaptive and hazardous to your mental health."

     ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ 𝟕 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐌 ⸝⸝ ⇗
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀→ ⺌ This section is inspired by an article from Forbes. Credit for this portion goes to them. Disclaimer: I have added my own words, advice, and paraphrased sections of the article.

          "Studies reveal a link between some types of perfectionism and burnout. Perfectionistic strivings, the aspect of perfectionism that is associated with setting high personal performance standards and striving for excellence, is much less likely to drive burnout than perfectionistic concerns. Perfectionistic concerns involve being overly concerned about making a mistake, having a fear of negative social evaluation, and having a strong negative reaction to imperfection.

          "Perfectionistic patterns drain your mental and physical energy and can be associated with workaholism. Perfectionists also tend to think in a very rigid way, and this rigid style of thinking (and the strong emotions that follow), amplifies the body's stress response. Ultimately, perfectionism can negatively impact how you work, your relationships, your home life, and your recreation (do your perfectionistic tendencies make it hard for you to relax and enjoy yourself?) Perfectionistic behaviors can be sneaky because they are similar to the type of behaviors that most people use to maintain their standards; however, they vary in frequency and intensity.

          In order to evaluate how perfectionism is interfering with your work and life goals, or when figuring out how to write a perfectionistic personality-based character, it's important to understand the different characteristics or traits of perfectionism.

          ╰─── 𝟬𝟭. Fear of failure. "While nobody really likes to fail, perfectionists take the fear of failure to a different level. Instead of finding what lessons could be lurking in the failure, a perfectionist sees failure as a statement of his or her worth or ability. To combat this fear, a perfectionist might overcompensate by reading something over and over again, obsessing about lists and organization, or being unable to make a decision."

          ╰─── 𝟬𝟮. All-or-nothing thinking. "This is a common thinking trap and it involves your tendency to see a situation as either black or white; right or wrong. For example, if you're trying to lose weight and you eat one cookie, you might think, I've blown my diet completely!"

          ╰─── 𝟬𝟯. Defensiveness. "Perfectionists often get very defensive when they are criticized because a critique threatens to expose their flaws, much in the same way failure does. Similarly, perfectionists take criticism as a statement of their worth or ability."

          ╰─── 𝟬𝟰. Fault finding with self and others. "Perfectionists are often on the lookout for imperfections in themselves and others. Perfectionists tend to be largely overcritical of any misstatement, misspelling, or flaw and see it as vitally important to correct people when they make a mistake."

          ╰─── 𝟬𝟱. Inflexibility—having a too rigid standard for you and others. "There is a difference between setting high standards for yourself and being willing to learn from your mistakes and being inflexible. When I suggest to perfectionists that they may want to come up with their own version of "good enough," most react as though I've just asked them to climb Mt. Everest tomorrow. Inflexible thinking often includes words like "must" "should" and "have to.""

          ╰─── 𝟬𝟲. Excessive need for control. "Perfectionists often try to control the behavior or thoughts of the people in their lives as a way of preventing them from making mistakes or encountering harm. Close family members have been guilty of doing this to me, and it has negatively impacted our relationships over the years."

          ╰─── 𝟬𝟳. Can't trust someone else to handle it. "Has someone ever told you, "If you want it done right, you have to do it yourself?" Many high-achievers I work with hold onto this core belief, and as a result, find it very difficult to delegate and when they do, become micromanagers."

     I decided to dedicate an entire chapter to this type of character flaw and personality type because it's one that is severely underused. Particularly, here on Wattpad.

     I hope these were all helpful and if you have any questions or want more tips on this topic, let me know!

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❛ THEY TOLD ME THAT 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑬𝑵𝑫
IS 𝑵𝑬𝑨𝑹, WE GOTTA GET 𝑨𝑾𝑨𝒀
FROM 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴. ❜
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