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Forgive eventual typos it's 6 am for me

 I looked down at the ground, thinking. What one of the police officers had told me didn’t surprise me, I knew that Tiffany wasn’t to be trusted but the feeling of uneasiness in my body wouldn’t forsake me, deep down I knew that something was wrong, she wouldn’t help her brother after all the things he did to her, or that was what I forced myself to believe. I wasn’t a hopeful person, I knew how human beings could be but I was also well aware that if Tiffany offered me an explanation,  I would listen to it...I still had some hope for her.

Thinking of it I wasn't as happy as I should have been,  Andrew was going to spend some time in prison, there was so much evidence that he would be forced to play gluty and  also everyone that helped him, probably not Tiffany but his mother would surely end up like his beloved son.

It was finally ending.

I had time to think in that tiny hospital room. I thought about many things, what I did before Andrew happened, my dreams, my friends and family,  how much I wanted to have all these back again.

I deserved better but the better couldn't come if I kept staying there. Andrew and his family was a chapter I needed to close, and for how much I didn't want to leave Damien I had to, at last for a while.

Money wasn’t an issue after all, even if Andrew forced me to be economically dependent on him, he couldn't make my parents nor my siblings and friends be. The day before the plan happened I called my brother and explained everything to him, he was mad of course, I hadn't told him earlier and I kept it as a secret for many long years but he sent me enough money to leave this place, after all our family was never struggling with money.

I needed to start over, and staying there wasn’t a start for sure. I wasn't supposed to stay for long anyway, this was supposed to be a vacation. 

The only thing I needed to do was great Damien and then finally run to my family and friends.

The moment Damien showed up I’d tell him goodbye. For how much I wanted to run away and disappear so I wouldn’t hurt myself further, so I wouldn’t hurt him any further I couldn’t, deep inside my brain, I knew that if I’d run away I was going to hurt him even more.

 I've always preferred being a coward, I preferred to hide in the dark  to not be noticed while I was looking at the light because that made me feel safe and I desperately needed safety,but today I couldn’t act that way, today I needed honesty more than safety. 

 ● ● ●

After waiting in silence for an hour barely tolerating the thoughts that roamed inside my brain, my distress became unbearable. Every minute being bombarded by my loud thoughts made it impossible for me to relax, I decided that going out from there was the best choice but before I could do anything a knock on the door caught my attention. 

“It’s open,” I said. 

When the door opened,  showing Damien's handsome figure I felt my heart beating so fast I feared it was going to jump out, I was scared. 

He looked at me like he knew what I was going to say. I looked down at my feet when the eye contact became too intense.

“Hi,” he said, his tone was calm, there was no hint of irritation or anger and that made me relax a bit.

“Hi,” I replied. I still wasn’t looking at him, it was almost ridiculous, this was the man I claimed I loved yet I couldn’t even put myself to look at him.

He began making few steps forward closing the distance between us, I didn’t want to admit it but I still needed him close to me, I still needed his big arms around my body, I needed him to whisper everything was alright and I hated it, I hated the fact the feeling of safety I so much wanted, depended mainly on him, because nothing with him was sure, yet I felt safe with him.

“Elide” Before I could say anything his arms wrapped around my body, he pushed my head on his hard chest, just on top of his heart, which was beating as fast as mine, if not faster. He was scared too.

“Damien” 

“I thought I was going to lose you, I thought you-”

“I’m not” I stopped him not wanting to hear the rest, a heavy sigh left his lips but it didn’t help with the uncontrollable beating of his heart.

“We need to talk, '' I said, putting my hands on his chest to set some distance between us but we were still extremely close and to be completely honest I didn't mind.

He slid his hands into the pockets of his black trousers, leaving me with a sense of coldness. I finally looked up at him again, he had a serious expression and I couldn't understand if he was upset.

“I want to leave this place, I want to go away” When that phrase left my mouth  his expression didn’t change, it was still as unreadable as it was some moments before, his posture was rigid, he looked like someone that wanted to say something but didn’t know how. 

“I wasn't  expecting you to stay” 

“oh…" I wasn't disappointed, just a bit sad. ",well, at last, there’s no need for a cheesy goodbye!” I said, trying to seem joyful but I was sure that my tone and expression denoted nothing but sadness.

“You are sure?” He said and took a step forward, his expression was still cold as Ice.

“Sure that I want to leave this place and start over? Yes, I am.”  I spoke quickly, his movements were so damn distrac

“No, not that, are you sure there is no need for a cheesy  goodbye?” He said and gently grabbed my chin and with his big thumb, he started tracing the outline of my lower lip, moving the finger back and forth until he finally touched my lip.

I looked up at him but he was looking at my lips.

“I think I will use actions to tell you what I can’t say with words” he whispered.

"Please do” It was so low that I feared he was not going to hear me but the moment after I said it he pushed my chin closer to his face to crush his lips on mine.

I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck pushing him closer, his free hand wrapped around my lower back, I slightly opened my mouth permitting his tongue to slide inside my mouth and moving with mine.

This kiss was different from the other we shared,  sure, it was passionate as always but this felt like the last, knowing it was going to end soon was hurting me. 

It was more aggressive, more possessive and somehow it felt more right than the one we ever shared. 

The heated kiss became more tender as the seconds passed, making me understand that it was ending. When his lips left mine he placed little kisses on my left cheek and then wiped the tears I didn't know were falling.

Putting his forehead on mine he closed his eyes.

“Damien-”

“Take” he gave me a  small piece of white paper and a white letter that some seconds before were stuck inside the pockets of his black trousers.

“My number and that’s from Tiffany” he explained.

“Goodbye Elide, ” placing one last kiss on my forehead he hesitated a bit before stepping away but then he did and went away. living me alone.

Taking the happy part of him with me. 

“Goodbye Damien” I whispered when the door closed. 

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