MY LIFE HAD CHANGED OVERNIGHT.

Not only did I still not know what truly happened to me, the people that I adored in my life were revealed as creatures I only knew from myths and legends.

Carlisle had pulled me and Chrissy out of an abusive relationship. He had saved my life, saved me from being a mother to his children. We couldn't do it- and that angered him more than anything. Now it made sense as to why he wasn't scared of him. Why would a vampire be afraid of a mere mortal man?

I'm not there anymore, but my turning reminded me of that night. Of being pulled out, of the fight and struggle that happened beforehand, of the marks he left on me. My memories about last night are as fragmented as the memories of me leaving. It had just happened. I felt more like a witness than an active participant in it.

I hated the reminder.

Yet now I couldn't sleep it off. Aro explained that I would find no rest in sleep, and that falling asleep would be more trouble than it was worth. I did try, after he told me, and he was quite right. I felt emptier than before.

It was a terrible idea to do before I was supposed to be introduced to an entire group of people. If the Volturi family were all family, a Coven, I had to begin getting to know them if I was going to stay with them. Alright, I could manage that even if I wasn't feeling my best. Was feeling much less than my best. Not as bad as awful, but somewhere between that and fine.

The hallways were crowded with people that barely moved, acting like stone statues from a museum. I still didn't know any of their names, didn't know what any of them did. They were still strangers. Even the faces that often stood outside my door were confusing at best, unfamiliar at worst.

I had a feeling that I wouldn't be meeting the entire guard at once. There were simply too many people still guarding doors for there to be more than ten guards to be inside the library. That damned library, that was where it all happened. The letter... the stupid affair ridden letter that I had to tell Caius about. Well, I guess that's all well and done. She attacked... and she died on that hill.

As I turned the shiny golden knob on the door, I was met with a few audible shuffles from the inside. From there I peeked my head in, to find a group of guards properly standing up, their hands behind their backs.

It was weird. They didn't seem happy at all to meet me, but rather, completely terrified to be in my presence. It was as if I were some sort of torturer coming to their cells to whip their hands for making a mistake. Like I was a dictator that inspired fear into the masses. They didn't speak with one another, never dared to look around. Their faces were still, inhuman and horrified.

Something unsaid lingered between the group.

The child-like blonde spoke up first. She was quite a bit shorter than me, had to be under five feet. Small build, like she hadn't even gone through puberty yet. She couldn't be over the age of thirteen.

"We're so sorry."

Oh.

"We failed to save you from her," she said, a deep sorrowful look plastered on her childlike face.

"It was our job and we completely failed. I understand if you don't think that we are worthy of being your guards. We take full accountability for our mistakes and lack of skill. We only plead for your mercy. We have nowhere else to go but Volterra. We have no other Covens that we can join," a boy of the same age pleaded, his head hung low.

A man almost twice the height of the small boy spoke his piece, "Aro was the one who sought me out, made me into a vampire. He is the only Coven Master I have known, and he is my King."

The last person in the room, presumably the only other member of this guard that was in front of my room yesterday, stayed entirely quiet. Not a peep from him. He only had his head down, putting his arm around the young boy.

While I guess it made sense that they would think I was mad, I wasn't. I couldn't find it within myself to be angry about something I couldn't change.

I was a vampire. I would forever be a vampire.

As tragic as this situation is, it wasn't their fault that Athenodora went crazy and wanted me dead. From what Aro told Carlisle, two people had their heads pulled off. Clearly they're alive, so not a deadly encounter, but close enough to mean that they did their best. Maybe that wasn't enough for the moment, so be it, but they did their best. That's all you can ask of your guards.

Somehow overnight my bosses had promoted me from secretary to someone who could decide the fates of other people, and that was a job I didn't want. Who am I to decide this? I don't know these people.

"I'm not in charge of that," I denied, breaking my short period of silence in a calm but firm tone. "I don't know what my bosses have told you, but I'm uncomfortable throwing you out of your homes for something like this. You did your best. Athenodora was better at this moment, but she's dead, so who cares, right?"

This had to be the best response for now, right?

Forgiveness can come easier in immortality, I hope. I won't be holding a grudge. I just want to move past this. If I'm going to be immortal, I won't die. I won't age. I will be here for the foreseeable future. The Volturi sound like a powerful group and being with them is my best bet for now. If any of Athenodora's friends, her lover that was in that letter, tried to find me, it would be easier to protect me here. I could even help protect myself, if I learned how to fight.

And if he came back-

-No, I have to forget about that. He shouldn't exist to me anymore. From now on, no thoughts about him.

He doesn't own me anymore.

—

"SO, HAVE YOU SPOKEN WITH THE GUARDS YET TODAY?" MARCUS ASKED AS HE POPPED HIS HEAD INTO MY ROOM.

"I have," I answered. "Which one of you was the one that instilled the idea into them that they were going to be kicked out of the Coven? My bets are on Caius, but I truly hope it wasn't you."

Marcus frowned as he sighed knowingly. "Aro was in a terribly foul mood after another phone call from a member of the Cullen Coven. I was not there to stop him before he was... venting at them."

It was my turn to sigh. Not the answer I wanted. Aro was harder for me to be angry at. Caius had insulted my best friend multiple times and he had scared her half to death with his lack of telling her what was happening. He was the one who used fear to get control of the Clocktower, not Aro... or at least that was my experience of him.

Perhaps that was my issue: I didn't actually know any of them.

Aro, Caius, and even Marcus... all so distant from my understanding of them.

"He wouldn't actually kick them out, River, he loves those who he makes like his own children. Jane and Alec were so small when they had to be turned. He would never turn his back on them," Marcus assured me as he gripped the side of the door. "May I come in?"

"Of course."

Marcus smiled as he made himself comfortable on my reading chair. His smile warmed me, even at the news, and I was quite unnerved by it. From across the room he was able to melt the defenses I'd tried to build up. Us being alleged soulmates seemed less far fetched the more time we spent together. I couldn't say no to him, or I just didn't want to.

The dark-haired man spoke up once more, "You have many choices as to what you want to do while inside the castle. Obviously, you can read anything in here, you can go visit Chrissy- who is back in her room but is not allowed to leave until she promises that she won't go off and expose us- which she is currently threatening to do, by the way. We aren't releasing her for that reason and that reason only."

"Will you kill her if she breaks out to expose you?" I asked, knowing deep down that their mercy wouldn't go that deep.

"It won't get to that point," Marcus said as he danced around the point. "We don't want to kill her. That would hurt you, and that is the last thing we want to do. I just wanted to tell you that for the sake of transparency. She isn't free until she makes that promise. You, however, are free to do whatever you please."

Chrissy wasn't stupid, but she also was the most stubborn woman I'd ever met in my entire life. She knew more than what Marcus was letting on. Because what else could she expose? The fact that they locked her up? She wouldn't have much proof of that. No, she knew they were vampires, and the fact that I can't remember our last conversation sucks because it feels like something she would bring to me the second she found out about it.

"Could I talk with her if I wanted?" I asked.

Marcus tried to discourage me. "I don't know if you'd be able to convince her, River. I know that you are close, but the things she has said... It hasn't been pretty for the guards. Corin is having a hard time using her gift on her. She's furious."

"She probably has a right to be. She remembers."

"She does," Marcus concedes. "As much as she is understandably upset, we can't allow our community to be put in danger. Carlisle has already threatened to come back and give Aro a piece of his mind. His daughters are upset and are asking around other Covens to see what they can do. Things are complicated right now. Caius is doing everything he can to watch her, to try and reason with her, but it's not working."

Caius was the one reasoning? That wasn't what I expected at all.

"He really does care about this situation, my brother. Aro does as well. They are being stretched thin and stressed beyond means." Marcus was no longer smiling, but rather had a soft sadness to his expression. "But you should try if that is what you want. She can't harm you physically, but words hurt. Words destroy faster than a fist ever could."

I felt very small.