This chapter isn't like some of my others and is longer than I anticipated it to originally be. I thought I'd try something different and for the most part I'm quite happy with how it turned out. Let me know what you think.

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WHO IS HOLLIE ARIA?
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EVEN THOUGH MONTHS HAD PASSED LOSING HOLLIE ARIA FELT TO THE DOCTOR LIKE HE HAD BEEN HIT IN THE CHEST WITH A TON OF BRICKS. There was simply no other way to put it. Since losing her when he went into every room there was something of hers there or a memory of the person she once was whether it be her sketchbook in the library left on the coffee table by the fire, her coffee cup in the kitchen or even one of her jackets randomly lying in the middle of the corridor or even the memory of her laughing in the cinema when she forced him to stop working on the TARDIS for an hour and watch something with her.

He couldn't even remember what they were supposed to be watching and instead just talked the whole way through.

The memory of Hollie Aria was everywhere and he hated it.

It annoyed him more when the said things and memories he had reminded him of her and her beautiful face with her stupid smile it only reminded him of the pained look on her face and her falling to the dusty ground when she was killed. He wanted to kick her out, drop her back at Leadworth and never see her again over the pain but, he couldn't let her go because she was still his Hollie, his amazing, incredible and wonderful Hollie Aria but, she also wasn't at the same time, she died, and he couldn't quite shake that feeling away of her being gone away because whether she was still alive or not she had changed, but also she had gone through immense pain because of him— and he never wanted her to feel like that again.

×××

The Doctor found himself standing in the console room one quiet night, he had just dropped off Amy and Rory at their next honeymoon destination watching the pair board a space cruise ship with the blonde nowhere in sight. The TARDIS was eerily quiet and he wondered where she had got to on the TARDIS. He was growing bored and as much as he wanted to avoid her he knew that he couldn't do it forever without arousing suspicion again. He didn't want another conversation about why he was avoiding her, it wasn't fun the last time he had it and he knew it and would only end up admitting his second point for keeping her away.

So he first checked her bedroom, knocking on the door and waiting for a minute. Just in case she was busy doing something or she was asleep and he woke her up but he got no response, then he tried the kitchen and again, no response or Hollie in sight.

The library? Nothing, her art room? Nope, no Hollie in there.

The Doctor frowned, where else could she have possibly been? They were the only rooms he often found her unless she happened to go exploring. It made sense, they had been on the TARDIS straight for almost a month now, at least it was a month to them and not the newly married couple who had probably only been on their honeymoon for two weeks.

That was time travel for you though, it is very confusing.

The Doctor aimlessly wandered through the TARDIS corridors, he wasn't too worried about wherever Hollie had gotten to, the TARDIS would look after her and would make sure she was safe but he did begin to wonder where exactly she had gotten to.

Until he walked past the TARDIS pool and caught a glimpse of blonde out of the corner of his eye and smiled almost sadly.

It wasn't their first date, they hadn't actually had the chance to go on one of those before she died but it was where they had gone with Amy and Rory after the first time they kissed way back when she had a different face and the bad version of himself managed to take over the TARDIS thanks to some psychic pollen.

Why was she here though? They hadn't been here since that day? They had been busy saving the universe and stopping cracks in time and he had been trying to find out exactly who she was.

He hadn't figured that last part out yet. She was still a mystery.

The Doctor shook his head and walked into the room, the hot air hitting him in the face like the slipper Hollie had thrown at him one time when he accidentally walked into her room without knocking. He didn't even mean to do it, he was just so excited about taking her to Paris without worrying about Amy moaning the entire trip. He didn't even realise she was naked until she had thrown the slipper at him and screeched loudly at him, after that point he always remembered to knock on her door.

He watched Hollie swim from one end of the pool to the other as he walked toward the pool. She hadn't noticed him yet, his hands in his pockets as his eyes followed her, she wore a simple black two-piece bikini. He wondered where the blue one she had on the last time they had come to the pool went.

The Doctor shook his head, he shouldn't be thinking like that, although she was technically his girlfriend so he was allowed to think like that? But it was Hollie! And she had died and changed her face and he had been acting horrible towards her and, and—

It was stupidly confusing even for his Time Lord brain. He wouldn't admit that though.

Hollie reached the end of the pool and turned around before blinking as she noticed him there, her legs were casually treading water as she held onto the side of the edge. "Hello." She called as if she was talking to a stranger. He supposed he was a stranger to her right now, it had been a long time since he had seen her. He had been avoiding her after all. Not that he'd admit that one again to her.

"Hi," he replied, rocking slightly on his feet as she swam over to him, looking up while he looked down at her.

"Is everything okay?" She questioned, frowning at the look on his face, he looked torn between running away and staying with her.

It was quite heartbreaking actually.

"I'm bored." He stated.

"Do something then?" She suggested with a small shrug as she pushed the hair out of her face.

"Like what?" He huffed, "I can't find anything interesting to do and Amy and Rory are on that space cruise."

"Fix the TARDIS?" She proposed.

He shook his head. "I can't do too much too quickly, she'll have a tantrum.

Hollie rolled her eyes. "I don't know then, I'm enjoying myself in here, go find something to do, maybe even a planet if you want, I don't care."

He frowned at her words and how exactly she had said them, she sounded bored and almost snappy. "You don't care?"

"Well, it's not like you've cared what I've done this past week." She huffed almost accusingly at him.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "I do care Hollie."

She would have crossed her arms at him if she wasn't holding on to the pool edge. "Yeah right."

"How can I prove it to you then?" He huffed in annoyance.

"Actually spend some time with me maybe?"

"Fine." He grumbled quietly before turning away from her and he left the room before she could even shoot another remark back at him.

She sighed slightly and shook her head, grimacing as her wet hair stuck to her face before she pushed herself off the wall and did another lap of the pool.

Minutes passed and Hollie emerged from under the water to see the Doctor walking towards her again wearing his stupid swimming shorts with little red bowties all over them and she frowned, was he really going to join her?

He spotted her puzzled face and shrugged. "You wanted to stay here, I was bored, it makes sense for me to join you." He explained as he went down the small steps and into the water.

"I didn't think you wanted to see me." She raised a brow at him.

The Doctor shook his head. "I'm trying here Hollie, please."

She rolled her eyes at him. He hadn't called her 'Holls' since she regenerated and she was starting to notice.

"I know." She simply replied and started to swim on her back away from him. The Doctor frowned, she was either ignoring him on purpose for her own back or maybe he was wrong to join her and instead, she'd rather be alone.

He should have known it would never be simple when it came to her.

The Doctor followed her, swimming slightly behind her and Hollie stopped at the other end of the pool, turning around to face him.

The Doctor stops swimming, almost colliding with her as he comes up for air and he frowns, she looks torn but remains silent as she stares at him. "What's wrong?" He finally asked her.

"You." She pointed out.

"Me?" He repeated.

She huffed again. "One minute you want to be my best friend, hell even my boyfriend and then the next you want nothing to do with me, it's annoying."

The Doctor sighed and swam closer to Hollie, taking her hand under the water. "I'm trying here Hollie, I promise, every time I look at you I see your broken body outside the Pandorica and it's so painful."

"But I'm fine!" She exclaimed at him, tearing her hand out of his making water splash everywhere and the Doctor grimaced as some flew at his face.

"But you're not!" He snapped. "You died, Hollie! You died right in front of me and there was nothing I could do to stop it! Now you're alive but you're not you, you're not acting like yourself!"

"Myself?" She repeated narrowing her eyes at him. "What do you know what I act like," she swam towards him, poking him accusingly in the chest as she emphasised her words. "You haven't bothered to try to get to know me since I changed, all you've done is stay as far away from me as possible or shout at me. Not me, you."

The Doctor narrowed his eyes back at her, and the two of them became silent, the only sound was the water sloshing around them and his face slowly fell. She was possibly right but he also hadn't come here to argue with her, not today. "I'm trying Hollie."

"Only when it suits you, Doctor." She replied in an icy tone as she backed away from him again. "You're being stupid and selfish."

The Doctor clenched his jaw biting back the words he desperately wanted to say before he replied rather bitterly: "Fine let's go somewhere."

"Nowhere is going to fix your problems with me." She protested.

"Just let me try!" He snapped, his voice quietening as she jumped slightly. "Please, Hollie. Let me try to make this right for once."

She swam over to the small ladder on the pool and grumbled. "Fine."

×××

Hollie stood in the console room, her hair was in a plait and still damp and she wore a simple black top, jeans and a red hoodie, her hands were comfortably in her pockets and the Doctor silently moved around the console, pulling levers and pressing buttons.

You could almost feel the uneasy tension in the air.

She watched him with her arms crossed and the TARDIS jolted causing her to tumble into the console. "Sorry." He muttered slightly before pulling another lever down, the TARDIS began to wheeze and he ran around the console, turning a dial and flicking a switch as he went. "So I thought we could go to Xirilan."

"Shee-ree-lan?" Hollie repeated. "What is that?"

"A planet." He shrugged. "Never been there, been told it's nice, very flowery and tropical but not your usual tropical rainforest mind you." He began to head towards the doors of the TARDIS after they had landed. "The sky isn't one colour because one of its four moons is perfectly aligned with the sun. That exact moon somehow allows the light to shine through and out the other side, hitting the planet so the sky is like a rainbow. A perfect and constant rainbow."

Hollie slowly nodded and followed him, he opened the doors and smiled widely at the forest ahead of them and the Doctor smirked at the wide awestruck look on the blonde's face. "Are you impressed Hollie Aria?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm still annoyed at you. This doesn't change that."

He shook his head. "I don't expect you to not, be annoyed at me." He stepped out of the TARDIS, Hollie on his heels. "I just expect us to try to get along a bit better. Try to get to know each other again." He shrugged. "It's the least I can do really."

She nodded almost reluctantly and looked up at the sky and of course, the Doctor was right. The sky had reds and yellows, blues, greens, oranges, purples, hell it had every colour there was all fading from one to the next to make what looked like a perfect rainbow covering the entire sky.

"Maybe I'm a bit impressed." She announced trying to sound as unimpressed as possible, the Doctor smirked and she pointed a finger at him. "Still annoyed." She reminded.

He nodded in understanding, she had every right to be annoyed at him.

"So why are we here?" The blonde questioned, moving a large leaf out of her way as she stepped further away from the TARDIS.

The Doctor shrugged. "Like I said, heard about the planet before, never had the chance to swing by and have a look myself. Now's a better time than any."

"Does anyone live here?"

"Of course, the Xirilians are known to be a wonderful species, they look mostly human except they have very bright green skin that protects them from the sun."

"You took us to a planet where the sun is going to harm me?"

"Your sun harms you." He countered. "You lot just put on suntan lotion for that while Xirilans simply evolved for theirs."

"So you're saying they're better?" She crossed her arms.

He shook his head. "Not better, just different."

"Can we go and see them?"

The Doctor shrugged. "If you want, I thought you'd want to do some drawing though, relax in the forest, wander around a bit, the city is boring this is much better!"

"I thought you've never been here?" She narrowed her eyes accusingly at him.

"I haven't, I heard the city is boring."

Hollie hummed at his unconvincing reply and the way he looked slightly uncomfortable under her gaze. "So we came here just so I could do some drawing?"

"And so we could talk. You said I have been avoiding you."

"You have." He huffed at her response.

"Are you really going to sit around here while I draw? Last time you sat around waiting for Vincent Van Gogh I thought you were going to gouge your eyes out, you were that bored." "We were waiting for the Krafayis to attack. I grew impatient waiting for it." He shrugged. Go get your stuff."

She cracked a small smile and headed back into the TARDIS to gather the equipment she required while the Doctor wandered off. He quickly found a small area with trees and greenery surrounding it, a large open space in the middle, the sky and sunlight shining through.

×××

She had been gone for at least twenty minutes and he leaned against the TARDIS, waiting for her. He watched Hollie walk out of the TARDIS, her small travel sketching set and sketchbook under one arm and a folded-up chair under the other. "I'm just going to do some sketches today." She shrugged noticing the Doctor leaning against the TARDIS as she walked outside.

"Do whatever you want." He waved a hand. "I brought you here so you can do whatever you want."

She nodded in agreement and followed the Doctor as he walked to the location he had found while she was in the TARDIS. Hollie blinked noticing a picnic blanket lying on the grassy ground. "I didn't know if you were bringing a chair." He blushed slightly. "And it's a bit dirty to sit on the ground..."

She giggled slightly, putting the folded chair on the ground beside the blanket before sitting down on the said item. "It's fine, thank you."

The Doctor sat down beside her, shifting uncomfortably as the air around them grew silent minus the croaking of whatever bugs were in the forest as well as what sounded quite similar to birds chirping nearby. He watched her as she wasted no time opened up her sketchbook and pulled a pencil out of her set.

The Doctor continued to watch her as she began to draw, he tried to do it without making it completely obvious that he was staring at her, his mind was racing, she had that same look of concentration on her face as her previous body but it was different, more determined this time, less soft.

Her brows were furrowed further than he was used to as she frowned at the paper as she focused on her action. She probably didn't even notice he was properly staring at her now and he wasn't even trying to hide it anymore. He was staring because even though she had changed and she wasn't the person he had fallen in love with the first time they kissed.

He still loved her deeply; she was so beautiful and it hurt him so much.

The way her tongue poked ever so slightly out of her lips as she drew delicately across the page. Her hands danced across the paper, he wondered how soft they were, did they still fit perfectly in his or would it be too different.

And then there were her lips pushed together in a tight thin line, were they still soft and gentle like he remembered them to be?

Oh, how he badly wanted to kiss those lips.

But he shook his head, it felt wrong. He was betraying her memory. It almost felt like cheating, he was still mourning the loss of her previous self. He couldn't possibly love this Hollie until he got over the last.

Or could he?

The Doctor frowned softly as he watched her continue to concentrate on her art, hours passed with them in silence, and neither of them minded as they slipped into the familiarity they created while with Vincent Van Gogh... minus the Doctor losing his patients waiting for the Krafayis and constantly rambling on.

Hollie was only halfway through her sketch when the Doctor cleared his throat. "So." He began and she blinked. He had been so quiet she forgot he was even there. "What are you drawing?"

"You." She shrugged and he blinked at her.

"You haven't even looked at me."

Her cheeks turned a slight pinkish as she avoided his gaze at his obvious point. It was a good point that she honestly thought he hadn't noticed but of course, he noticed. It was very him. "I didn't need to."

His lip curled up slightly in a small knowing smile. "You're a funny one Hollie Aria."

She rolled her eyes. "Says you, I'm not the one willingly wearing a bowtie."

He huffed at her. "It's cool, bowties are cool."

She chuckled at him shaking her head. "I'm messing with you, Doctor. It is very cool."

He opened his mouth before snapping it shut and playfully glaring at her. "You..." He pointed at her and huffed when no other comeback came into his head, instead, he pouted and crossed his arms.

"You're acting like a child." She shook her head.

He sniffed. "I'm over 900 years old."

"And you haven't grown up." She countered.

"That's rude!" He accused pointing at her.

She laughed at him. "You're doing an excellent job of proving my point, Doctor." He glared at her as she grinned widely at him and she closed her sketchbook. "Can we go see the city now?"

He cracked a small smile at her. "Getting bored?"

"Of hearing you?" She questioned before nodding and looking at him with a teasing smile. "Yeah, I am."

He huffed and stood up. "Stop teasing me!"

"It's funny." She giggled. "Come on, let's go."

He rolled his eyes. "If that's what you want to do, fine but it's going to be boring! There's so much to explore out here!"

The Doctor sighed and lowered his head in defeat as Hollie didn't say another word and walked away, back to the TARDIS.

Maybe Hollie Aria changing wasn't such a bad thing. If only her death wasn't his fault.

─── ｡ﾟ☆･*.☽ .* ☆ﾟ. ───

So, thoughts? Did you like it? I'm not 100% sure how I feel about the ending, especially knowing the next chapter... at least he's talking to her for now... Next, we go straight into a Christmas Carol which has been weird because I'm writing a Christmas episode in August, while on my holiday in 25 Celsius heat.