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I barely remembered the ride home. The scenery outside the car blurred together like an abstract painting, streaks of green trees, gray buildings, and faces of passersby melding into a chaotic smear of colors that felt too distant to grasp.

My head was full of Wallace's words, looping over and over like a broken record. 

Disgusting. You're disgusting. 

The sharpness of his voice sliced through my mind, each repetition cutting deeper than the last. My chest tightened as I pressed my bag to my lap, knuckles white from the tension I couldn't shake.

The second I stepped into the house, a suffocating weight descended upon me. The air was thick and heavy with the smell of polished wood and the lingering scent of the extravagant floral arrangements that adorned every surface. Each breath felt labored as the reality of my carefully constructed persona began to crumble.

I didn't acknowledge the staff as I made my way upstairs. The house was silent, too quiet, amplifying the echo of Wallace's accusation. The familiar luxury of the halls and the paintings on the walls, none of them brought any comfort now. Each step I took felt like wading through thick mud, heavy and resistant.

Did I do something to that cat? Could I have harmed it without realizing?

The question tightened around my heart like a vice, squeezing out every shred of composure I had left. I shoved open the door to my room, feeling the walls close in around me, suffocating me in my guilt and fear.

The room was a sanctuary filled with designer clothes, artful decor, and the remnants of who I pretended to be, but it felt more like a prison. I couldn't breathe. My legs felt weak beneath me, and a sickening wave of nausea swept through me, pulling me down.

And then it hit me all at once, a wave of nausea so powerful it knocked the air from my lungs.

I barely made it to the bathroom. I dropped to my knees, gripping the edge of the toilet as my stomach lurched violently. My body convulsed, and I heaved, vomiting up the little I had eaten that morning. The acrid taste of bile burned my throat, and tears welled up in my eyes from the pain. The sound of my retching echoed in the bathroom, each heave more violent than the last.

But it wasn't just the nausea or the physical discomfort, it was the overwhelming guilt, the fear, the doubt that clawed at me from the inside.

What if Wallace is right? What if I really hurt that cat?

The thought sent another surge of nausea through me, and I retched again, trembling uncontrollably as if my body was rejecting everything, to rid itself of all the poison that had been building inside me for years. Every ugly thought, every lie I had told to keep up appearances, every moment of pretending to be something I wasn't, all of it felt like it was boiling up to the surface, choking me. I could barely breathe, my chest so tight it hurt, the tears falling faster now, blurring my vision. My hands shook as I clutched at my hair, pulling it tight as if the pain could drown out the storm in my head. I was shaking so hard I could barely stay upright.

My mind raced, replaying every moment, how the cat had looked at me, how it had seemed so fragile, so innocent, and how now it was dead. Dead because of me? The guilt gnawed at me like a parasite, feeding off my fear.

I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want to feel this way like I was losing control. But it was too late. The doubt had crept in, and now it was spreading like wildfire.

My grip on my hair tightened, pulling at the roots as if the pain could somehow ground me, and keep me from falling apart completely. I wanted to scream, to rip away the fear, but all that came out were broken sobs as I pressed my forehead to my knees, curling into myself on the bathroom floor.

I forced myself to stand, though my legs felt weak beneath me, and stumbled back into my bedroom. I collapsed onto my bed, reaching for the earbuds tangled in the sheets. I shoved them into my ears, fingers fumbling as I plugged the cord into my phone. I scrolled through the playlist from last night, wild and loud songs that helped drown out the noise in my head.

I hit play, and the loud, pulsing beat filled my ears. The music throbbed through me, pushing back the thoughts, and numbing the edges of the pain. My body slowly relaxed, the trembling easing as the music wrapped around me like a cocoon. I closed my eyes, letting the rhythm carry me away, song after song until I could finally breathe without feeling like I was about to shatter.

But then there was a knock on the door.

I flinched, pulling the earbuds out and sitting up quickly. I wiped at my face, trying to erase the evidence of my breakdown. The door creaked open, and Alaina stepped inside, her sharp eyes scanning the room before landing on me.

Alaina Grace, my mother's right-hand woman, looked the same as always with her blonde hair styled in a sleek bob, her tailored black dress emphasizing her trim figure. She always dressed like she was headed to present a case in court, and her every movement was sharp, precise, like she had everything under control. She had the face of someone who could command a room, with her pale skin, high cheekbones, and dark, scrutinizing eyes that missed nothing.

"Desiree?" Her voice was soft, but there was concern lacing it. "Are you okay?"

I straightened immediately, forcing the mask back into place. "I'm fine," I replied, my voice steady despite the rawness in my throat. I tucked my hair behind my ears, feigning nonchalance as I stood up from the bed. "Just tired, that's all."

Alaina's eyes lingered on me for a moment longer, taking in the slight tremor in my hands, the redness around my eyes. She wasn't fooled easily. But she didn't push. Instead, she gave a small nod, though I could see the concern still etched in her features.

"You have a scheduled date with Wallace Aldridge tomorrow," she informed me, her tone professional now. "It's a charity event, and your mother expects you to be prepared."

I swallowed, the thought of facing Wallace again sending a fresh wave of unease through me. But I couldn't let that show. "Of course," I said, smoothing my hair back and plastering on a smile. "I'll be ready."

Alaina nodded once more, satisfied with my response, though her eyes lingered on me for a second longer. Then, without another word, she turned and left the room, leaving me alone with the suffocating weight of my reality.

I stood there for a moment, staring at the closed door, the echo of Wallace's words creeping back into my mind.

Disgusting. No matter how hard I tried to bury it, the word clung to me like a stain I couldn't wash away.

I clenched my fists, forcing myself to focus. I had a role to play, and I couldn't afford to fall apart. I needed to keep busy, to occupy my mind before it spiraled out of control.

With a deep breath, I settled down at my desk, piles of homework glaring back at me like an insurmountable wall. I opened my laptop and forced myself to study, but each word blurred together, becoming a jumbled mess. The ticking of the clock on my wall felt like a relentless countdown, and I pushed through it, studying the pages in front of me even as the weight of my anxiety pressed down harder.

Dinner came and went, the taste of the meal sliding down my throat like sandpaper. I picked at my food absentmindedly all the while my mind raced back to the cat. 

I didn't do anything... I didn't... But the words felt empty, hollow.

After dinner, I retreated to my room, the noise of the world fading away behind me. The moment I was alone again, my shoulders slumped as I prepared for bed, the weight of the day pressing heavily on me.

๋࣭ °࣪ ִ⭑․𓃠⭒˚.• ݁

The world around me shimmered with a vibrant, ethereal glow, each color bursting with life. I laughed, twirling in a field of daisies under a golden sun, feeling the warmth of my nanny's hand in mine. Coco, my playful puppy, chased butterflies, barking joyfully, his fur glinting like polished copper in the light. Everything felt perfect, wrapped in a blissful embrace of innocence and love.

But then, like a shadow creeping over a sunny day, a chill slithered through the air stealing my laughter. I looked up, my heart sinking as shadows crept in, dimming the vibrant colors around me. The flowers wilted, their petals drooping as a dark figure emerged from the depths of the forest bordering our haven.

I gasped, panic tightening my throat. The figure loomed, cloaked in swirling shadows that twisted like smoke, its features obscured but radiating a sense of dread that felt suffocating.

"Desiree!" My nanny's voice trembled, strained, as if she sensed the dark presence. I turned, the warm glow of happiness fading, replaced by a heavy silence that pressed in on me.

"Where are you?" I shouted, but my voice felt small, lost in the oppressive air. "Nanny!"

The enchanting world morphed, twisting into a nightmarish landscape. The trees became gnarled and bare, their twisted branches clawing at the darkening sky. Shadows coiled around my feet, as if eager to pull me down into their depths.

Then I saw it. The figure raised its arm, and my heart plummeted as Coco dangled upside down, lifeless. Blood dripped from his tiny body, pooling on the ground, each drop a haunting reminder of the innocence I had lost.

"No! Coco!" I screamed, the sound ripping from my chest like a wounded animal. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I stumbled back, unable to comprehend the horror before me.

The figure turned slowly, revealing Mother's face though twisted and distorted, a cruel smile playing on her lips.

"Look what you've brought upon yourself, my little girl," she taunted, and a chill crept through me. "This is your fault. If you want to keep your hands clean, you need to stay away from things that can be broken."

My world shattered. The brightness faded, swallowed by an engulfing darkness that squeezed the breath from my lungs.

"Please, no!" I wailed and reached out, trying to grasp the remnants of my happiness, but it slipped through my fingers like grains of sand.

"Do not bring blood onto my hands again."

Then, suddenly, the nightmare broke apart, collapsing around me as I jolted awake, gasping for air, my heart racing. The familiar scent of my room surrounded me, but it offered no comfort. I sat up, drenched in sweat, trembling as I fought to calm the storm raging inside.

"Just a dream," I whispered to myself, but the weight of the memories felt heavy in the air. 

I could still see Coco's lifeless form, and feel the icy grip of fear that had wrapped around my heart. The walls of my room felt suffocating, closing in on me as my breath quickened.

"It was just...a dream," I repeated, though the words tasted like ash on my tongue. Each time the nightmare visited, it pulled me deeper into a darkness I couldn't escape. A darkness that reminded me of what I had lost, innocence, warmth, the unconditional love of my nanny.

I stumbled out of bed, seeking refuge in the glow of my phone, but the brightness only deepened the shadows in my mind. 

A notification flashed across the screen. A missed call from Franko, the best friend I could ever ask for. I bit my lip, remembering our Friday date. He must be wondering why I hadn't shown up. I would reply later, once I had calmed myself.

Desperate, I opened my music app, but the songs that once brought me solace felt hollow and empty, echoing the void in my heart.

As the familiar notes filled the air, I sank to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees, fighting against the memories that clawed at me, each haunting whisper from the past echoing louder than before.

I closed my eyes, hoping for sleep to reclaim me, but the chilling visage of my mother and the bloodied puppy lingered, a cruel reminder that nightmares don't just belong to sleep, they seep into waking life, suffocating hope with their dark embrace.

☀༉‧

Hey, lovely readers!

Thank you so much for reaching the end of this intense chapter!

So, what do you think of that nightmare? Was it just a manifestation of her guilt, or is there something more haunting beneath it all? What happens when she faces Wallace again? How much longer can Desiree hold herself together?

Leave your thoughts below, I'd love to hear them! And for all my silent readers, I appreciate you too 🌿✨ your quiet support means the world! 

See you in the next chapterᯓ★

__melodyshhh 𓇢𓆸