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𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗞

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
he likes my american smile, like
a child when our eyes meet —
darling, I fancy you

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IMESSAGE GROUP CHAT

north carolina besties
michael jackson [ mary jane ]
looney [ luna ]
foolish underscore gamers [ foolish ]
jarl kacobs [ karl ]
no land [ nolan ]

looney
karl
nolan
watch blau's
stream later

jarl kacobs
why

looney
because you'll
get to see mj
and her boyfriend
be down bad for
each other

michael jackson
??????

no land
her WHAT

jarl kacobs
hold up

michael jackson
🧍🏼‍♀️

jarl kacobs
back it up

no land
you actually
found somebody
who likes you?

michael jackson has removed no land from the group!

foolish underscore gamers
how many times has
mj removed nolan
from this group chat

jarl kacobs
this is the 170th
time

looney
mj . . . add
him back

michael jackson
do I have to

looney
yes
come on

michael jackson has added no land to the group!

michael jackson

no land
I come back
to this?????

michael jackson
yeah you deserve
it

jarl kacobs
GUYS
we're missing
the bigger
picture here
MJ HAS A
BOYFRIEND???

michael jackson
chill
it happened like
yesterday
I'm not making
a big deal out
of it

looney
you should
mj :)
it is a big
deal!
SHE HAS A
BOYFRIENDDD

no land
are we ever
going to find
out who said
boyfriend is

foolish underscore gamers
bingle

looney
THAT'S your
first message in
this conversation?

foolish underscore gamers
what?
I was answering
the question

jarl kacobs
ELLUM?

michael jackson
josh 🥰

looney
look at that
she's so smitten

foolish underscore gamers
stand up

michael jackson
oh YOU'RE one
to talk

no land
wait is that the
really tall british
guy

foolish underscore gamers
honestly nolan
that's a really
good description
of him

michael jackson
yes
he's the really
tall british guy

jarl kacobs
wait mj you've
been simping
for this guy for
months
this is huge news

looney
EXACTLYYYYY

michael jackson
when will my
suffering end
they're just going
to make fun of me
now
luna look at what
you've done

looney
I've been teased
endlessly for my
relationship with
noah
it's your turn now :)

michael jackson
oh great

foolish underscore gamers
twitch.tv/blau
don't be late

no land
best believe we
will be there

michael jackson
sigh

jarl kacobs
and mj?

michael jackson
yes

jarl kacobs
on a more serious
note, we're happy
for you :)

no land
^ really
you deserve
it

michael jackson
🫶🏻
thank you my
boys <3

looney
BLUBBERS
I LOVE YOU
GUYS

no land
can't wait to
see you look
minuscule and
insignificant next
to him

michael jackson
I retract everything
fuck you

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

REAL LIFE

OKAY, LISTEN. IT'S not that Mary Jane didn't want to shout her relationship from the rooftops, because trust her, she did. Yet, she knew what the public was like. Her relationship with Noah hadn't been kept a secret, and Mary Jane had experienced her fair share of negativity and toxicity from it (not really from the Doozers, they tended to be quite respectful). Besides, Ellum had only officially asked her out yesterday. Their relationship had been solidified for maybe twenty-four hours, and it was just so new. Mary Jane wanted to experience it first, see where things went, before she did anything drastic.

Having it be kept a secret from everyone else besides their friends was really the only option, and Mary Jane was more than happy to let that happen. Ellum had also agreed with that, stating some things should just be kept private. Maybe that would be a different case sometime in the future, but for now, it was just theirs.

Which meant she had to kind of hold herself back during this stream Blau had planned. See, since Ellum was undoubtedly British and never tended to celebrate American holidays, Blau set up a stream to teach him about the Fourth of July. There were a bunch of games set up on the basketball court outside, and from what she had watched of the stream so far, Blau was rambling off random facts about America.

Mary Jane rounded into the kitchen, clad in a fitted blue denim skirt, a white flowy short sleeve, red Converse, and her lips painted red. Luna was there waiting for her, scrolling absentmindedly on her phone. She glanced up when she heard footsteps, smiling brightly at Mary Jane.

"Hey," Luna greeted, shutting her phone off. "You got that die meme from Ellum, didn't you?"

Mary Jane rolled her eyes, heading over to the back door. "You do realize those two idiots are going to have leverage over me now, don't you?"

Luna followed after her. "And that's exactly why I did it. Now you'll get to experience what I experience on the daily." She then grabbed her arm as Mary Jane went to open the door, making her pause. "You're not actually mad about me telling Karl and Nolan, are you?"

She sighed. "No, you're fine. They were bound to find out eventually. I should've been more on top of telling them, but . . ."

Luna got a knowing look on her face. "You were too distracted by Ellum?"

Her eyes narrowed. "I'm going to murder you."

Luna shrugged, not looking bothered by it at all. "No, you won't. You'd miss me too much."

Mary Jane shook her head before sliding open the door and stepping out into the California sunshine. They were all gathered on the basketball court still littered with drawings from Tina's party, which had giant beer pong cups, corn hole, and numerous cans of Coors Light — some crushed paired with spots of spilled beer, and some in tact. Miyoung was sitting off to the side in the shade with Nabi in her lap. Blau was behind the camera with Meena right next to him, while Leslie, Ellum, and Noah stood in front of it. Mary Jane's eyes instantly slid to Ellum, smiling softly at the sight of him. He was wearing that Chiefs jersey again, but this time with an American flag cape.

" . . . John Wilkes Booth," Leslie was saying as the two of them approached the group.

"That's right," Blau agreed. "He was on pistol round."

Noah nodded. "He was on pistol round, absolutely eco fragging. Should've went for the knife, but he wanted to secure the deal. Um, he won those."

"He was good for one," Ellum said.

"Did I just hear you say that John Wilkes Booth was on pistol round?" Luna asked. "What is up with you two and combining Valorant with historical moments?"

"Oh, come on, Lunes, it's a good bit," Noah insisted. "Plus, we're teaching Ellum about Abraham Lincoln."

Blau turned the camera to Luna and Mary Jane. "And here we have sister Luna and sister MJ, joining in with the American festivities."

Mary Jane raised her eyebrows again, slowing to a stop next to Ellum and trying to ignore his gaze on the side of her face. "I see we're doing the southern accents again. I'm starting to fear that I'll never escape them."

"Oh, you won't," Leslie voiced. "Wait, you two look so cute."

Blau then started to ramble on about the Civil War and how they couldn't do fireworks due to the LA code. He then called Ellum over to start their game of darts, where both of them would be competing to see who could pop all of their red, white, and blue balloons first. While Noah took the camera, Mary Jane finally looked up, locking eyes with her boyfriend (she still couldn't believe she got to say that now.)

Ellum gave her a grin. "Hey, MJane."

She smiled back at him. "Hi, Josh." She reached up and touched his American flag cape for a second. "You're looking festive."

"Thanks." He spun around a bit, the cape fluttering around him, making her laugh slightly. "Blau made me wear it."

"Yeah, because you're a true blooded American now," Blau told him. "Now, come on. Let's play."

Mary Jane backed up, going to stand by Miyoung with the rest of the girls, crossing her arms across her chest as she watched Ellum and Blau start to compete. As they did, Tina also came outside, looking quite radiant as always. She tilted her head as she watched them miss a lot, and also how Leslie was struggling to get the plastic part off of her dart. In the end, Blau managed to win, which meant Ellum had to shotgun a beer since he lost. She raised her eyebrows, slightly impressed, as she watched him down the beer in one go. Even though some managed to spill, he did pretty well. Her smile also widened even further at the sight of Blau putting a USA headband on Ellum.

"MJ, you're staring," Tina voiced. "You two are actually the sweetest. I'm going to throw up."

Her cheeks flushed a late shade of pink. "Sorry, I'll try not to."

Meena then elbowed her side. "Good thing we made that deal, huh?" She nodded to the boys. "Or else we wouldn't be stuck with those two dumbasses."

Noah, for some reason, then ran up to the basketball pole and caught the rim, holding himself up for a second before dropping back down. Mary Jane jumped slightly at the noise, turning to look at him in concern. Most of the m had missed it — including Leslie with the camera, who had been trying to find her own shadow but couldn't because it was behind her (classic Leslie.) He then did it again, and Mary Jane moved out of the shade and into the sun to join Leslie with Luna, Meena, and Tina.

"Wait, why is our basketball so girlypop?" Tina asked. "The one Blau's holding."

Mary Jane caught sight of the pink and purple basketball and giggled slightly. Her eyebrows then knit in confusion as she watched Blau run up to the pole, only to not be caught and lift up to the rim by Ellum and Blau whatsoever.

Meena leaned her head closer to them. "It's like watching frat boys in the wild."

"You just put a wild image in my head of those three being in the same frat at a college," Luna admitted. "Thank God Blau's old, and thank God Ellum's British."

"Hey, so what fraternity you guys in?" Leslie called.

"Uh, Alpha Sigma Oozma Kappa," Noah responded.

"I'm sorry, did you just say Oozma?" Luna repeated. "That's not — baby, that's not even close to being Greek."

"No, it's Oozma. We're OK, we're OK!"

"Isn't she from Emperor's New Groove?" Leslie questioned.

Mary Jane laughed a little. "Leslie, no, that's Yzma." She then turned around, only to blink in surprise at the sight of Ellum hoisting Blau up onto his shoulders. "What in the hell? I stopped paying attention for one second."

He walked over to the basketball pole, and Blau put his hands on the rim. Ellum then walked out from underneath him, just leaving Blau dangling there by himself before he dropped back down.

"Okay, now it's MJ's turn," Luna said.

Mary Jane turned to her. "What?"

"Your turn to dunk." Luna's eyes glittered with mischief. "Go on."

"Is it really?"

"Oh, you want to dunk?" Ellum cut in, offering the basketball out to her.

She sighed, taking the basketball from him. "Oh, I guess so." Mary Jane walked up to the basketball pole and stared up at it. "Josh?"

Ellum put his hands on her shoulders, making tingles flow from there throughout the rest of her body. "Ready?"

Mary Jane nodded, suddenly very glad that the camera wasn't on her so that they couldn't see how red her face was. "Ready."

Ellum then put his hands on her waist, and especially through the thin fabric of her shirt, she felt her skin ignite. He lifted her up off the ground into the air practically over his head, making her yelp slightly.

She glanced around for a second. "Woah, this is what it's like to be tall? I see so much." Mary Jane then lifted up her hands and tossed the basketball into the basket before raising her arms in victory as Ellum turned her around. "First try! Wait, that was fun."

Ellum chuckled, lowering her back down onto the ground. "She's done it."

Mary Jane lifted up her hand for a high-five. "Hey, thanks, man."

He high-fived her, yet held onto her hand for a second. "No problem."

Even though the blinding sunlight, and Leslie showing the drawings from Tina's birthday, their eyes locked yet again. It seemed like time slowed down around them, and they were just stuck. The only thing that managed to bring them out was Blau announcing over his megaphone that they were moving onto beer pong and that they needed partners. Mary Jane cleared her throat, tucking some of her hair behind her ears.

"I'm not good at beer pong," Mary Jane announced as she went back over to Miyoung. "Count me out."

"Same," Luna agreed. "Step on up, Tina." While everybody else was figuring out who to partner with, Luna lowered her voice. "You're not exactly being subtle."

Mary Jane sent her an incredulous look. "You're the one who forced me into that, bitch."

She poked her stomach. "You enjoyed it, come on."

Mary Jane then rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

(She did.)

She then watched the game of beer pong — Ellum and Blau versus Noah and Tina, while occasionally looking over Miyoung's shoulder to read chat. Ellum managed to get the first cup, but Blau basically carried their team and got most of the cups.

"Um, Blau, can I just point out something in your title?" Leslie interrupted. "It says teaching a British how to Fourth of July ft. Ellum, Fuslie, Kkatamina, and more."

"Okay, that's crazy," Meena commented.

Mary Jane scoffed. "And more? Lunes, Meena, Noah, Tina, and I are just and more to you?"

"The disrespect," Luna added.

The game continued on, with Mary Jane giggling slightly at how Miyoung was commenting in chat about how she wouldn't take that level of disrespect. However, in the end, even though Ellum and Blau had been ahead, managed to lose the game of beer pong . . . which meant Ellum had to shotgun yet another beer. He did it, along with spilling a lot of it on the ground.

Mary Jane patted his shoulder when he walked over to her. "You okay? You look in pain."

"I am," Ellum replied. "I mean, anything for America."

After Noah made an insane dart shot and duo jump-roped with Leslie (which was really impressive the way she could just jump in), they moved onto the final game of the day, which was corn hole. It ended up being Ellum and Leslie versus Noah and Luna, where once again, Ellum lost (classic.)

"Ellum, it's your bedtime story time," Leslie announced, running up with a children's book Miyoung had gotten from inside.

He sat down in the chair Miyoung had been sitting in. Mary Jane stood off to the side, sharing a questioning look with Miyoung, who merely just shrugged with a laugh. Blau then started to read the book to Ellum with a lot of enthusiasm, like he was actually reading to a child. Mary Jane reached a hand up to cover her mouth as she giggled at both Blau and the look on Ellum's face — also how Luna, Noah, Meena, and Tina seemed to be listening in while simultaneously tossing a football between them in a circle. Blau also kept defaulting into a southern accent, and Ellum seemed confused at the Fourth of July activities the book had been talking about. Once the book was finished, they started to watch the football get thrown around.

"Were you the quarterback?" Leslie inquired to Noah.

Noah caught the football. "Me? No, I was a wide receiver, so I caught balls." He threw the ball over to Luna, who caught it with ease. "Nice, Lunes."

Blau shrugged. "I was a narrow receiver, so."

"You were not on the football team," Leslie argued. "Bro thinks he's on the team. There's no such thing as a narrow receiver."

Meena shook her head, looking right into the camera. "He would not be on the team, to be clear."

Ellum distracted them with British snacks, which included Hobnobs (which was fitting, since that was him and Noah's duo name). Mary Jane took one from him with a gracious smile. They toasted to Lady Jane Grey (for some reason) before eating. And, in all honesty, Mary Jane thought they were pretty decent. Ellum then shotgunned another beer while they all shouted USA, making it his fourth, for his final punishment.

Mary Jane watched with wide eyes as he raised his arms and shouted to the sky. "He's going to be so drunk."

"Nah, he'll be fine," Luna reassured her before pausing. " . . . I think."

After a quick wrap up from Blau, the stream ended. They were going some places later for the Fourth and it was getting hot, so most of them started to migrate inside. Tina and Leslie fell into natural conversation, linking their arms together as they walked onto the grass. Meena and Blau went next, the girl latching onto his hand and swinging them back and forth. Luna instantly sunk into Noah's side as he put an arm around her shoulders, leaning her head slightly on his shoulder. Mary Jane smiled softly at her friends before starting to follow them. She made it up the steps before she felt a hand on her wrist. Mary Jane turned, only to see Ellum standing there — because, who else would it be?

"Oh, hey, boyfriend," Mary Jane greeted, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Girlfriend," Ellum responded, dragging out the word. He put his arms around her waist and tugged her in closer. "Did you have fun during the stream?"

"I did." She then reached up adjusted his cape slightly. "But it looks like you had a lot more fun than I did." Mary Jane then scrunched up her nose slightly. "You drank a lot of beer . . . and also spilled a lot."

"Okay, fine. You shotgun a beer then."

"First of all, no, because beer is gross. Second, I have already, and I'm not good at it. I probably did worse than you, honestly." Mary Jane leaned forwards and pressed a kiss onto his cheek. "You did your best. I'm proud."

Ellum's cheeks splashed a light shade of pink. "For never shotgunning a beer, I did try."

Mary Jane nodded, this time kissing his forehead. "That's what I'm saying."

"MJ?" Tina yelled from inside the house.

Mary Jane turned her head around. "Yeah?"

"Can I borrow a red lipstick of yours? I want to see how it looks."

"Of course, be right there." She kissed Ellum on his nose before untangling herself from him, although a bit reluctantly. "Duty calls."

Ellum grinned at her, making her heart beat fast against her chest. She gave him a small smile before going into the house. As she did so, she felt her phone buzz in the pocket of her skirt. She pulled it out, only to see one text from Karl and one text from Nolan in their group chat. Karl said looney was right, you are down bad, and Nolan said mj get a grip. Mary Jane sighed, rolling her eyes.

They weren't wrong.

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

TWITTER

Josh Ellum EllumYT • 1h
'MERICA

💬63 🔁824 ❤️1,450

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bejeweled username • 1h
is that . . . mj?
💬15 🔁24 ❤️97

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macy! ⭐️🌱 username • 1h
oh that's her for sure
💬1 🔁3 ❤️9

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lily #TSOU username • 1h
posting a solo picture of her . . . okay 🤨
💬27 🔁102 ❤️257

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blau blaustoise • 1h
HE'S A TRUE BLOODED AMERICAN NOW HELL YEAH BROTHER
💬10 🔁96 ❤️341

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trixie <3 username • 1h
blau thanks for setting this stream up because seeing ellum lift mj up like that made me feel some type of way and I needed some excitement in my life
💬36 🔁187 ❤️329

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Foolish Gamers FoolishGamers • 1h
he's never getting into oozma kappa
💬25 🔁84 ❤️1,005

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emily 🦈 username • 1h
brother what the fuck is oozma kappa
💬4 🔁17 ❤️21

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style duo lovebot username • 1h
only the best frat. they're literally ok
💬2 🔁6 ❤️13

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luna 🌙  lunahayes • 1h
a brit celebrating the fourth of july . . . TREASON
💬48 🔁1,219 ❤️9,439

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sarah 🫶🏻 username • 1h
GET HIMMMM
💬2 🔁9 ❤️15

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Mary Jane Brooks maryjane • 1h
fireworks yippee!!!
💬22 🔁767 ❤️3,286

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Josh Ellum EllumYT • 1h
yippee!!!
💬19 🔁731 ❤️992

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beth :) username • 1h
only responding to her? the vibes are getting stronger by the day
💬14 🔁438 ❤️802

-ˏˋ ✩✩✩ ˊˎ-

everybody's going to japan . . . the streamer drought is upon me . . .

BUT NOT ELLUM THANK YOU BRITISH BOY YOU'RE MY SAVIOR

if this is bad don't tell me I got lazy halfway through and didn't feel like writing out everything they said in this stream but trust it was peak silliness