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𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗞

CHAPTER TWO
you give me just enough attention
to keep my hopes too high

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REAL LIFE

SO, MARY JANE had actually stepped up her songwriting a lot.

For her entire life, she had watched Luna write song after song, spilling all of her secrets and deep feelings into melodies. It was one of the things Mary Jane adored most about Luna — how she could take an idea and turn it into something beautiful. Yet it never really occurred to Mary Jane that she could do the exact same thing. Luna always told her she should give songwriting a try, give her feelings some kind of creative outlet.

It wasn't easy at first. One of the first times Luna put Mary Jane in a writing session with her, back when she was writing Good Riddance, all she wanted to write about was a house plant she wanted but didn't buy. That was pretty much the only feelings Mary Jane had at the time. Sure, she had just broken up with Noah, but she wasn't sad about that.

Luna's next album, The Secret of Us, was different. Mary Jane had experienced a lot more things in her life over the year since Good Riddance had been released, and so had Luna. Together, they wrote a lot of songs together. So far, there were Blowing Smoke, I Love You, I'm Sorry, Let It Happen, I Knew It, I Know you, Normal Thing, and That's So True. All of them had been written by the two of them in their living room, nothing but vulnerabilities shared between them that was going to be released out into the world.

And speaking of experiences . . . this song that was staring back at her was all about her current experience.

Mary Jane looked down at her notebook, a random one that she had found in her drawer, her eyes scanning across the scribbled words on the page. It was mostly just random lines, nothing really strung together, but just the sight of them made Mary Jane's face feel warm.

I'm not proud.

God, I'm actually invested, haven't even met him. Watch this be the wrong thing, classic.

Isn't it fun? Thinking I'm right when I'm probably wrong.

No, I'm actually invested, haven't even met yet. Wish that I was kidding, I'm not, and I hate it.

Good God. First she was watching Ellum's stream nonstop with a crush, and now she was writing songs about him? Oh, this was so not good.

Yet, one of the things she learned from Luna was that putting vulnerabilities out into the world was a good thing most of the time. Mary Jane couldn't get this song out of her head, and Luna was the route she could take to have this become something. They could write more together as well, which had become one of Mary Jane's favorite past times.

Besides, there was no way Ellum could know it was about him. He didn't even know she existed. It would be fine.

Mary Jane peeked her head into Luna's room, knocking on her door. "Hey."

Luna moved one of the ears of her headphones off, tearing her eyes away from her stream setup. "Hey, I'm just about to start stream. What's up?"

"Oh, my bad." Mary Jane pointed back towards her room. "I can wait until after. I just had something to show you."

"No, don't worry about it." Luna spun towards her in her chair, fully taking off her headset to rest against her neck. "What'cha got?"

Mary Jane moved closer to her, extending the notebook out to her. "Here."

Luna took the notebook, taking in the scribbled words on the page before looking up at Mary Jane. "What's this?"

"A song," Mary Jane answered. "Or, a shell of a song. More so an idea that we can work with. You told me that you were still hoping for another upbeat song on the album that could potentially be a single, so . . ."

"Oh, thank God. That's been stressing me out for days, and I haven't found it in me to actually write anything." Luna turned her attention back to the notebook, tilting her head at the words. "MJ, this is . . . this is incredible. I love this idea so much."

"Thanks. I'm calling it Delusional right now. Felt kind of fitting."

"God, I'm actually invested," Luna read out loud. She then paused for a second, and Mary Jane could practically see the gears turning in her head. Luna then looked back up at her, a small smirk spreading across her lips with a glint of mischief in her eyes. "Wait a second. MJ—"

Mary Jane probably should've seen this coming. Luna knew her better than anyone . . . or, maybe it was the fact that she had actually said God, I'm actually invested after the big confession the other night. Whatever it was, it was quite evident Luna knew what was going on.

"Please don't ask me," Mary Jane pleaded, her stomach twisting uncomfortably.

"—did you write this about Ellum?" Luna finished, completely ignoring Mary Jane's wishes.

She hesitated for a moment. "No."

Luna gave her a knowing look. "Mary Jane."

Mary Jane felt her walls crumble down around her — really no point in hiding it now, especially not from Luna. "That obvious?"

"You're screaming it to the world, girl," Luna replied.

She sighed. "I'm down bad, aren't I?"

"Down bad horrendous." Luna gave her a comforting smile. "Listen, MJ. I think the only people in the world who will probably know that song is about Ellum is you, me, and Noah. I'm down to work on the song with you, but if you're not comfortable with sharing something like this, we can just forget about it."

"I can't forget about it," Mary Jane told her. "This song is all I'm thinking about."

Luna raised an eyebrow. "Because Ellum is all you're thinking about?"

"I fucking hate you."

"We both know that's not true. Save the I hate you's for Noah, Karl, and Nolan."

Mary Jane thought about it for a second. "Yeah, that didn't feel good. Yelling at Nolan probably would make me feel better."

"See?" Luna countered. "There you go." She then glanced at the time on her computer. "I'm sorry, MJ, but I have to start stream. I promised Noah I'd be in his Valo lobby. Once I'm done, I'll come over to your room and we can figure out some shit, okay?"

"Okay." Mary Jane wandered back over to the door. "Have a good stream, Princess. I'll see you later."

"I'll make sure to tell Ellum you say hello when we join the Discord call."

"Please do not."

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

time jump, two weeks later!

INSTAGRAM

tagged lunahayes

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tagged lunahayes

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liked by lunahayes, karljacobs, and 835,904 others

maryjanebrooks god, I'm actually invested . . . haven't even met him . . . watch this be the wrong thing . . . classic 🤪
luna & I had the extreme privilege of writing risk together, and it was one of the most fun experiences of my life. taken by my own delusions, she grasped onto that and turned it into something magical.
not to mention she also gave me the creative liberty of directing her music video! it was so fucking cool! actually dream come true. everybody working on that video is so fucking talented.
oh, luna, my girl, I am always be proud to call myself your best friend. thank you for including me in everything that you do. watching you shine has been one of my favorite parts of my life. your talent is astounding. I love you so so much xoxo

view all 5,637 comments

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ellum has followed maryjanebrooks !

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

REAL LIFE

SHE WAS SO dizzy.

Okay, maybe part of it was because of Risk. That song, her song, her and Luna's song, had been an immediate hit, gaining a multitude of streams in a day. And that music video, her music video, her and Luna's music video, had skyrocketed in views ever since it was released. Yet that wasn't the main

Mary Jane sat on her couch, staring down at ellum liked your post, ellum commented on your post, and ellum followed you.

Ellum. Ellum. Ellum.

He knew her. He talked to her. He knew her.

Good God. She had to get a grip. They were public figures with close connections to Luna — their paths were destined to cross at least once. Yet Mary Jane's stupid crush on someone she watched on the internet was making this situation bigger than it used to be. She could practically feel her heart beating out of her chest.

"Do mine eyes deceive me, or did you and Ellum just have a conversation in your Instagram comments?" Luna's voice asked from the kitchen, slightly bringing Mary Jane out of her daze.

"Am I dreaming?" Mary Jane responded. "Is this real life? Do you think if I get Karl to hit me with his car, it'll wake me up from whatever this is?"

"I actually think that'll make everything worse. But this is good, right? You've met. You know each other now, and I didn't even have to intervene. You're friends."

Mary Jane rolled her eyes. "We've had one conversation. We're not friends."

"Hm, maybe not, but you will be." Luna then came over to the couch, holding two glasses of her wine in her hands. "It'll be great."

Her eyebrows knit in confusion as she took a glass from Luna. "What do you mean will be? Do you know something that I don't?"

Luna smiled, one that told Mary Jane she was totally up to something. "Well, since you're a main collaborator on the album, I thought it would be cool if we did promo for the album together next month. I'm set up for interviews and a live show for Jimmy Kimmel, and I think it'd be cool to have a small little show of you and me performing songs. And . . . oh, look at that. How convenient that the album's release is extremely close to Tina's birthday, that both of us will surely be invited to."

Mary Jane was still hopelessly confused. "Okay. And what does this have to do with me and Ellum?"

"Promo for the album is in LA — interviews, shows, all of that," Luna explained, her eyes sparkling. "Tina's birthday party will be in LA. And when we go to LA, we stay at the Roomies' house."

It suddenly dawned on her — some sort of horrible truth.

"Ellum is staying at the Roomies' house," Mary Jane concluded.

"Exactly," Luna voiced, giggling slightly. "About two weeks of you and him staying in the same place. It'll be perfect."

Mary Jane stared blankly ahead. "Oh my God." She then looked down at her wine glass, and without a second thought, she downed it all in one go. Mary Jane winced slightly before placing her now empty glass on the table. "I'm going to make an absolute fool out of myself."

Luna just laughed a little more. Mary Jane put her face in her hands, reveling in the darkness. She could already tell that this was probably going to be a disaster.

-ˏˋ ✩✩✩ ˊˎ-

why are so many of you reading this . . . this book was not supposed to gain this much attention . . . don't get me wrong I am so very grateful but I am just confused . . .

are y'all secret ellum fans or what 🤨

anyways to the two people who said they loved this book by saying "I'm actually invested" . . . I see you. I see the reference. made my fucking day