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𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗞

CHAPTER TEN
I pictured you with other girls in
love, then threw up on the street

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REAL LIFE

"YOU'RE GOING OUT with us tonight, right?"

Mary Jane looked up from her place on the floor at Ellum's voice, who was sitting on the couch. The two of them, plus Leslie, Tina, Miyoung, and Rae were all hanging out in the living room together while Tina played music on the living room speaker. She had come to learn that whenever they gathered together, Tina would just play music out of nowhere, and they would just chill. It was nice, really — and somehow, it made Mary Jane's affection for Tina grow even more, if that was possible.

She knew what he was talking about. Miyoung and Leslie had wanted to go to this one Korean bar where you could play games on tablets against other tables. Practically all of them were going, including everyone in the house, plus Blau, Meena, and Abe. Leslie had asked her earlier when she saw her in the kitchen, but Mary Jane hadn't given a definite answer yet. It sounded fun, but on the other hand, bars weren't exactly her scene.

Mary Jane shrugged. "I'm still deciding."

"Oh, MJ, come on," Leslie stated, practically draping herself over Mary Jane from her spot next to her. "It'll be so much fun!"

Mary Jane giggled, adjusting slightly from Leslie's body weight. "I bet it will be."

"You don't have to say yes, but it would be better if you were there," Ellum told her. "I want you to go."

She looked up at him, her heart slamming against her chest. Somehow, it felt like something changed between them last night. After coming back inside, he had made her tea, and they sat next to each other on the couch as he taught her Hearthstone. She could still practically feel how close the two of them been, and how she could sense sparks of electricity when she was around him. Not only that, but he had literally told her he enjoyed her company more than anyone else's, and went out of his way to make sure she was okay and that she felt included. If she wasn't down bad already, now she was down horrendous. Her crush got ten times worse, especially now with this new friendship they formed. It was at the point where she would agree to do anything with him.

Which is exactly how Mary Jane found herself ready to go the bar some time later, wearing a red top with a pair of jeans and her lips painted red, ready go out to the bar with the others. God damn it. She had no self control when it came to him anymore. It was terrible, really.

"MJane?" Ellum called from downstairs, and her head snapped over towards the door. "The Uber's here."

"Coming," she replied.

Ellum mindlessly scrolled on his phone, waiting towards the bottom of the stairs for Mary Jane while the others started to go towards the door. He suddenly heard footsteps, and he looked up, only for his mouth to immediately go dry at the sight of her. Her red top had little sparkles on it, and it was the same color red as her lips — her signature color, he must say. There was something about Mary Jane that was just so entrancing, and this was no exception. His stomach did a little flip-flop as she got closer to him.

Leslie gasped and held out her hand to Mary Jane. "Oh my God, MJ, you look incredible! I love that top."

Mary Jane smiled — the sight of it making Ellum completely weak in the knees — and grabbed onto Leslie's hand, allowing her to pull her along. "Thank you."

Ellum stood there for a moment longer, watching as she walked away while talking with Leslie. It was like no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her and couldn't even find the words to say. He suddenly got an elbow to the side, and Ellum snapped himself out of his daze (slightly) to see Blau smirking up at him.

"You're staring . . . again," Blau stated.

Ellum sighed — he couldn't even deny it this time. "Yeah, I know."

"Wow, not even denying it this time. You're so gone, man."

"Okay, says you."

"Hey, maybe tonight's the night," Blau suggested. "Make a move."

"I don't think I could, even if I tried," Ellum responded. "She just makes me so nervous, and I don't know what to do. Like, I spend all my time thinking about what could happen, but then I think about doing something about it, and . . . forget it." He shook his head. "Whatever, man. Let's just go."

After a relatively uneventful Uber ride, they arrived at the bar. Mary Jane glanced around, watching as the blue lights from inside spilled on the concrete outside. She suddenly felt a presence next to her, a very tall presence, and glanced up to see it was none other than Ellum. (Ellum did not immediately gravitate towards her side because he couldn't stay away, absolutely not). Mary Jane offered him a small smile, which she immediately reciprocated as the two of them followed the others inside.

"I've never been to a bar like this," Mary Jane admitted. "It's a really cool concept, actually." She shook her head. "Um, not like I've been to a lot of bars in my lifetime . . . you know."

Ellum nodded in agreement, completely glossing over her absolute ramble. "I know, right? Leslie's been here before and kept hyping it up to me, so I'm glad we actually get to go."

They managed to score a large enough table for their group. Everyone instantly filed in, and just as the universe probably intended, Mary Jane's seat ended up being right next to Ellum's. Because, of course. She pulled out her chair, settling in next to him as she glanced around the bar for a moment. Ellum glanced over at her, and even though the blue lights in the bar were quite harsh, she still managed to look angelic.

Fuck.

"Shots first!" Leslie ordered, picking up a bottle of Soju.

Mary Jane picked up the bottle of Soju that was at the table and poured it into her shot glass. Another shot glass suddenly entered her vision, and she looked to see Ellum was holding out his expectantly. Mary Jane poured the alcohol into his glass before setting down the bottle of Soju. She then picked up her glass.

"To . . ." Ellum trailed off. "Friendship."

She smiled softly, nodding her head. "Friendship."

Mary Jane clinked their glasses together before tilting her head back, downing it in one go. She winced slightly at the alcohol, putting her shot glass back down at the table. Ellum swallowed slightly at the sight of the slight red lipstick smudge on the class, clearing his throat and trying to divert his attention back on the screen.

Mary Jane grabbed her own tablet at the table. "So, how does this work?"

"Basically, you play against other people, and whoever wins gets to buy you drinks," Miyoung answered. "I can already tell you're a God tier gamer, though."

She shrugged. "Luna always says I'm the best gamer she knows, but I don't really know if that's true."

Ellum looked at her fully. "You play games?"

Mary Jane nodded. "Yeah. I play a lot of Valo and League, but I can also absolutely smoke y'all in Mario Party."

Rae gasped excitedly. "Wait, you play Valo? MJ, you should totally play with us sometime!"

She grinned. "Yeah, that sounds fun."

"Ellum, make the lobby."

He blinked. "Why do I have to?"

"Because that's all you do," Rae replied. "You make endless lobbies. Go make a Valorant lobby and make sure MJ's there."

"Ellum, I'm going to advertise you in the public chat," Leslie suddenly announced, laughing a little maniacally.

"Advertise?" Mary Jane repeated with a chuckle. "Leslie?"

Sure enough, Leslie had sent a message in the public chat that went out to the entire bar. It read 6'5 british boy at our table, will match anyone's freak!, mostly in response to a chat asking if anyone would match their freak. Mary Jane instantly fell into a fit of giggles at it, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Leslie!" Ellum exclaimed, although he wanted her to continue because hearing Mary Jane laugh like that made his heart practically glow. "What are you saying?"

"I'm trying to see if anybody's going to match your freak, duh," Leslie insisted.

They then started to play the games on their tablets that the bar had to offer. So far, they were doing pretty well. Mary Jane was absolutely crushing it at the one pancake stacking game that was available. Every time she accepted a challenge, she won. She had played about five games in the span of the forty-five minutes they had been at the bar already, and the alcohol wasn't even making her slip up once even though she could definitely feel the buzz from the amount of shots she had taken.

"Oh, should I go again?" Mary Jane questioned, looking as one of the tables challenged for the game.

"Do it, do it," Miyoung agreed. "God tier gamer, I knew it."

Mary Jane accepted the challenge. She dialed in on the screen, focusing on stacking the pancakes. The other side wasn't messing up at all, and so far, it was the hardest competitor she had faced that evening. Finally, after a couple minutes of playing, the other person messed up, and she watched triumphantly as their pancake stack completely fell. She let out a shout of excitement, raising her arms in the air. The rest of their table exploded into cheers as well, and Mary Jane could feel those invisible strings of friendship turning even more golden.

"Another victory!" she exclaimed.

Mary Jane then held up her hand for a high-five to Ellum, which he happily obliged. Just the sight of her smiling so wide after seeing her so down the other day was enough to make his heartbeat speed up.

A guy at the table next to them suddenly pointed at her. "Wait, that was you? You're the one who we just lost again?"

She shrugged. "I guess." Mary Jane raised her shot glass. "You owe me a shot."

"Or, maybe all of us can do a shot together."

They instantly agreed. Their group, along with the table next to them, all poured shots, and after a toast from Leslie about MJ's impeccable gaming skills, they took the shot. Mary Jane put her shot glass back down on the table, feeling all giddy inside. She couldn't believe she was even considering not going out tonight — she was having so much fun with everyone.

One of the other guys at the table suddenly gasped, pointing at Ellum. "Wait, you're the six-five British guy that was being talked about in chat."

Ellum chuckled, raising his hands in surrender. "That's me."

"Wait, you should talk to our friend." He turned, pointing to one of the girls at his table. "She's super into tall guys."

The girl's face instantly burned a bright shade of red. "What?"

"Oh, come on. Don't deny it."

Leslie's eyes glinted. "Yeah, go on, Ellum. Go talk to her."

And, suddenly, that feeling of giddiness Mary Jane had been feeling suddenly washed away. The smile slipped off of her face. Well, if that wasn't a way to sober up quickly, she didn't know what was.

Mary Jane glanced in between Ellum and the girl at the other table, feeling like her heart had dropped all the way into the pit of her stomach. It was something so fucking stupid to be upset about — after all, it was a joke — but the thought of seeing him with another girl when she had this big stupid embarrassing crush on him was enough to make her feel like she was spiraling out of control. Maybe Taylor Swift was right — she really didn't like that falling felt like flying until the bone crush.

"Um, I . . ." Mary Jane trailed off, standing up from her chair and grabbing her phone. "I have to go to the bathroom."

Before any of them could say anything, she walked away from the table, her chest feeling tight. Finally, after walking through the rest of the bar that made her head spin, she made it to the bathroom and walked up to mirror. Mary Jane unlocked her phone and opened up her text messages, going to the one person she truly wanted to talk to.

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

IMESSAGE CONVERSATION

mj [ mary jane ]
luna [ luna ]

mj
can you buy me a
gun

luna
what is this?
valorant?

mj
yeah give me
a sheriff irl

luna
okay what
for

mj
so I can end it
all in this bathroom
at this bar

luna
?
what are you
going on
about
what bar?

mj
we're all out
at this like
gaming bar
rn

luna
AW OMG HOW
FUN
I'm glad you're
going out with
them ❤️
my best friend
with my
other best friends
oh it makes my
heart melt

mj
yes yes you were
right and I'm making
friends
josh is very convincing
aka he told me it would
be better if I was there
and said he wanted me
to go and I instantly
folded
WHICH SPEAKING
OF HIM
THAT'S WHY I NEED
THIS GUN

luna
ellum?
what
happened
also where
did this first
name basis
come from

mj
last night was
a whole other
story but right
leslie just
told josh he should
talk to the girl at
the table next to
us bc one of the
guys said she was
into tall guys
and the thought
of that made me
want to absolutely
throw up and now
I'm hiding in the
bathroom
it was so obviously
a joke to make josh
get all flustered but
I just
idk

luna
you do know
it's normal to
feel that way,
right?
imagining the
person you have
a crush on dating
someone else that's
not you is a terrible
feeling

mj
is this how you
fucking felt when
I was dating noah?
god luna how did
you DEAL with
this
I'm so sorry

luna
mj :(
seriously,
are you okay?
you know leslie
meant no harm
with that

mj
I know
and she doesn't
know that I like
him so it's just
all in my head
I'm so fucking
stupid

luna
no you're
not

mj
yes I am
I'm letting a dumb
thing make me feel
all sick
and I can't find it
in me to do
anything about it
we already know
I've had a crush
on him for a while
but ever since coming
to la it's gotten ten
times worse

luna
so do something
about it!!!

mj
you say that as
if it's simple
it's not
every time I
speak to him
I just spew out
absolute NONSENSE
I just ramble
I'm so hopeless

luna
you've always been
so confident when
it comes to guys
why the sudden
change now?

mj
I have no idea
he's just . . .
different
I've never felt
this way for
anyone before
I've never been
SO invested in
someone
especially not in
this way where I'm
writing fucking songs
it's kind of scary

luna
it doesn't have
to be scary
you're allowed
to feel these
big things
if it makes you
feel better, you
and ellum would
be so so cute
together

mj
is it bad that I
want to leave this
bar right now
the thought of
being here another
second is dreadful

luna
you really want
to go that bad?

mj
if I walk out
to the table and
they're still talking
about josh and that
girl I might just
throw up

luna
do whatever
you're comfortable
with, babe
if you say you
want to go home,
all of them will
understand, no
questions asked

mj
okay
I think I'm just
going to go
thank you luna
I miss you

luna
I miss you more
<3
get home safe,
text me when you
do
I love you

mj
I love you too

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

REAL LIFE

MARY JANE LOCKED her phone, letting out a deep breath. She wasn't sure if she could exactly face the others right now, especially since he was there, but she had no other choice. Mary Jane tucked some of her hair behind her ear before pushing open the bathroom door, heading back out into the bar. She could see all of her friends conversing with each other again.

Tina looked up at her, her eyes slightly squinted from all the alcohol she had. "You okay? What happened?"

"Um, I'm fine," Mary Jane told her, although it didn't sound convincing whatsoever. "My, uh, my stomach just hurts."

It wasn't exactly a lie. Her stomach was churning from what just happened. God, it really was pathetic that a silly joke like that had been enough to make her sick to her stomach.

"Too much alcohol?" Rae inquired.

"I think so," Mary Jane answered, even though that wasn't anywhere close to the truth. "I think I'm just going to head home." She picked up the bag she had brought, slipping it over her shoulder. "I'll see you guys later, though."

Tina frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I'll just call an Uber, it's fine."

"At least let me come with you," Leslie insisted, reaching for her purse. "Or one of us."

Mary Jane shook her head. "Don't worry about it. You guys stay here and have fun."

"But—"

"Leslie," Mary Jane cut in, giving the girl a sweet smile. "I'll be okay."

She seemed reluctant, but eventually, Leslie slightly relaxed. "Okay, fine. But text me when you get back. If you don't, I'm sending out a search warrant."

Mary Jane gave her a two-fingered salute. "You got it."

With that, she turned herself around and walked towards the exit of the bar. Once she was outside, she took another deep breath, the fresh air outside filling her lungs. It felt like she had been suffocating inside that bar. She opened up her phone and called an Uber, pushing some hair away from her face as she did so.

Ellum watched her walk towards the door, concern filling his insides. The rest of the voices and music in the bar faded into a dull ringing in his ears. He couldn't just let her go by herself, especially since she didn't feel well. Without saying a word to the others, he stood up, slipped on the jean jacket he had brought, and went after her.

Mary Jane wrapped her arms around herself, staring down at her Uber app as she watched the car get closer and closer together. She knew she should've brought a jacket, because it was kind of chilly outside. Whatever. The car was two minutes away, anyways — she could brace the chilliness of the air for that long.

"Seems like you could use some company."

Just the sound of his voice with that British accent made more chills spread throughout her body. Mary Jane looked up from her phone, watching as Ellum slowed to a stop next to her. His arm brushed against hers, and even through the denim he had on, she felt her skin ignite. She stared up for a moment longer, her eyes trailing across his face.

"What are you doing out here?" Mary Jane asked.

"I'm not letting you go home by yourself," Ellum replied simply. "And, you don't feel well. I at least have to make sure you get home safe."

She looked away from him, staring out at the street. "You don't have to. I'll be fine."

"I'm doing it because I want to. Don't worry about it."

Her eyes narrowed at him, although her heart skipped a beat at how he used the same exact words she had said when she told him she wouldn't yell at him. "Don't use my own words against me."

"Sorry," Ellum let out with a chuckle, making her slightly laugh as well. "I'd rather hang out with you anyways." He then glanced down at her, noticing how her arms were wrapped around herself. "You cold?"

Mary Jane shrugged, even though her arms were literally covered in goosebumps. "I'll survive."

Ellum shook his head. Instantly, he shrugged off the jean jacket he had been wearing and draped it over her shoulders. Due to the size difference between them, the jacket practically swallowed her whole, but the warmth that it brought her and the smell of him that was on it was enough to make her not care.

"What about you?" Mary Jane questioned.

"I'll be fine," Ellum responded. "You look like you need it more."

She gave him a small smile, tightening the jacket around her body a little more. "Thanks."

They stared at each other for a second longer . . . or, maybe, a second too long. Mary Jane couldn't take her eyes off of his — it was like she was stuck. Maybe it was a figment of her imagination, but she could've sworn she saw his eyes flicker from her eyes down to her lips then back up again. Mary Jane clutched onto the denim of the fabric, trying to will herself out of it, but she couldn't. It was like little lightning bolts were surrounding them all over, and neither of them seemed to move.

Except for the sound of a car pulling up in front of them.

Mary Jane snapped herself out of it, glancing down at her Uber app. The car that had arrived matched the one she had called.

"Um, Uber's here," Mary Jane stated, her voice quiet.

Ellum cleared his throat. "Right."

He walked up to the car, opening the back door and gesturing Mary Jane to go in. Once again, something so simple, yet something so sweet. Mary Jane gave him a tiny grin before brushing past him, climbing into the backseat. Ellum got in after her and closed the door behind him.

As the Uber started to drive away, Mary Jane reached into her purse and pulled out her headphones. She untangled them and plugged them into her phone, putting the right earbud in. Mary Jane then extended the other earbud to Ellum, who glanced at it for a moment before taking it. He put it in, leaning his head slightly closer to hers so sharing would work better. Mary Jane pressed shuffle on one of her playlists, and instantly, the chords of a very familiar song started to play.

"She told me that she loved me by the water fountain, she told me that she loved me and she didn't love him . . ."

Mary Jane settled back into her seat, looking out the window at all the buildings that passed by. Unbeknownst to her, Ellum was watching her, the song buzzing around in his brain. He would never tell her, but listening to the lyrics and the beat of the song, it was only making him think of her. It was at a point for him where he was assigning different songs that made him think of Mary Jane. Honestly, it was surprising he hadn't made a playlist yet, because he had found quite a bit.

After a couple more songs — which were 'tis the damn season, Bags, eternal sunshine, Blindsided (Yeah, Sure, Okay), and Motion Sickness — the Uber slowed to a stop in front of the house. Ellum took the earbud out and offered it back to Mary Jane, who grabbed it and took hers out as well as she paused the song. He got out first, offering his hand to Mary Jane as she moved across the seat. She thanked the driver and accepted Ellum's hand as she got out.

He shut the door behind her, and they started to walk up to the house as the car drove away. However, the interesting this was that neither of them let go of each other's hands. As they went up the driveway, their hands were still held, yet neither of them questioned it or did anything about it (or maybe it was because neither of them wanted to let go). Mary Jane took a quick glance down at how their hands were together, her cheeks flushing a shade of red that rivaled her own shirt. She could've sworn she felt little pink hearts pop around their held hands, which felt like they were meant to fit together.

They went inside after Ellum put in the code to the door, and he led them inside. Mary Jane shut the door behind them and locked it before pausing. And there they stood, in the doorway of the house, still holding hands. She looked up at him expectantly, practically hearing her heartbeat in her ears. Something felt . . . different, now. It was like something shifted between them again, and Mary Jane had a feeling there was no coming back from it now.

"Your stomach feeling any better?" Ellum inquired after a moment of silence.

It wasn't, actually. Because all of that had made her stomach churn. But not in the uncomfortable way earlier when she felt like she was going to be sick. This time, it was butterflies, fluttering around her stomach and making her insides feel all strange.

"A bit," Mary Jane replied. "I might just . . . go lay down, or something. Try and get some sleep and hope I feel better in the morning."

"You need anything, just let me know," Ellum said. "I'll be downstairs in my room."

She nodded. "Thanks. For everything, really."

Neither of them moved again. Mary Jane hesitated for a second, a crazy fucking thought entering her mind of what she could do next. But . . . was she reading it all wrong?

Heard the risk was drowning, but I'm gonna take it.

Fuck it.

She squeezed his hand before rising up onto her toes. Before she could think another second about it, she pressed her lips to his cheek — but, because of their height difference, it was more like the underside of his jaw. Mary Jane fell back onto her flat feet, keeping her eyes on him as she did so while he just stared at him. The air between them crackled with some kind of new electricity.

"Goodnight, Josh," Mary Jane said, her voice barely a whisper.

With that, she let go of his hand and walked off, heading back up the stairs. Ellum stood completely frozen in the same spot, watching her go. His heart was about to jump out of his chest, and the spot where she had kissed him felt like it was on fucking fire. He absentmindedly touched it with his fingers, but when he pulled his hand back, a smudge of her red lipstick was on his fingertips. Ellum stared at it, feeling like he was melting into a puddle again. God, he never stood a chance.

Once Mary Jane got to her room, she entered and shut the door behind her. Instantly, she pressed her back to it and slid down, finally landing on the floor. Ellum's jacket was still draped all around her. She slowly covered her mouth with her hand, just contemplating her thoughts. Honestly, she couldn't believe she had just done that, and she couldn't believe anything that happened tonight.

She was totally fucked.

-ˏˋ ✩✩✩ ˊˎ-

long chapter woahhhhhhh

this chapter was fun as fuck to write I love it also it's based on real life events that leslie talked about on stream which makes it even funnier

they're very much water fountain coded thank you lucy for pointing that out

also listening to music together with mj's headphones is now their thing yesyes