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𝗥𝗜𝗦𝗞

CHAPTER ONE
oh, here we go again . . .

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REAL LIFE

BEFORE ANYONE SAYS anything — yes, Mary Jane Brooks was aware this was completely and utterly parasocial.

She had been involved in the world of streaming since she was sixteen. After all, that was when her best friend, Luna Hayes, started streaming. From then on, as Luna made more and more friends over the years, Mary Jane's knowledge of Twitch, and streaming in general, grew exponentially. It got to the point where she was even a mod in Luna's chat and usually had Luna's stream on as either background noise or main entertainment. It probably also helped that they previously lived next to and now live near Twitch streamers — most notably were Karl Jacobs (even though he didn't stream as much as he used to) and Noah Brown (aka Foolish_Gamers, whatever, she would never call him Foolish . . . maybe it was a product of how they dated for about two months, but that was more Luna's story, not hers).

From them, that also meant Mary Jane got introduced to a bunch of new streams in the form of Luna's friends. Mary Jane liked to affectionately call them Roomies & Co, because most of the people Luna was closest to lived in one house together with some stragglers that popped in and out or people who associated with them a lot. She, herself, was also pretty close with Tina, aka TinaKitten. The others, she had met only a couple of times.

Speaking of stragglers . . . one of the members of said friend group, who was close to Luna, included Ellum — or Josh, really. He was known as the one who was relentlessly teased nonstop by everyone else (all love, though, that's just how their friendship worked). According to Luna, he was abnormally tall — standing at around six-five (which was enough to make Mary Jane's head spin), was able to take every punch given to him with a laugh, and was basically just a ray of sunshine mixed with a golden retriever in human form. All of these things she had just heard about since she had never watched him, but all of these things combined together just screamed endearing to Mary Jane.

Which is how she found herself in this God-awful situation, exactly.

See, it all started about two weeks ago. Mary Jane had gotten a notification that Tina went live, the title saying WINE AND YOUNG ALMONDS. She had been a bit busy at the time, so she finished up what she was doing in about twenty minutes. Curious as ever, because she knew what Tina was like when she was drunk and Mary Jane wanted to find out what the hell young almonds were, Mary Jane opened her laptop and went to Tina's stream. And the sight she was met with was Tina, looking as beautiful as ever, and Ellum . . . looking as beautiful as ever.

She shouldn't have gotten butterflies in her stomach. She shouldn't have felt her heart pause in her chest. Nothing should've happened to her when she looked at him, sitting there in his black sweater and necklaces with Tina, drinking orange wine and eating young almonds with salt, but something did happen. Maybe it was the British accent. Whatever. Sue her.

Which, of course, something like this would only happen to her. The wrong thing — classic.

So, then Mary Jane fell down the rabbit hole in her mind. She would click on his streams, watch his gameplay, laugh at the interactions he had with her friends. And through it all, she could feel her heart beating rapidly against her chest. Mary Jane was nothing but a viewer to him, and although she knew Luna could introduce them, she kept her mouth shut. Luna knew nothing of this. Mary Jane was confident that Luna wouldn't judge her for developing a crush on one of her friends, but just from a stream? It was so over the edge, and like she said earlier, parasocial.

And every single time, she would realizing she would be smiling at her screen, snap herself the fuck out of it, close her laptop, and have an overwhelming feeling to go to sleep forever. Like right now.

Mary Jane shut her laptop and ripped out her headphones, instantly leaning back and putting her face in her hands. She had just watched Ellum's stream for about an hour and a half, and she had suddenly just realized her cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing so much. All from watching a British man play games with his friends . . . he was just making her get so invested.

Oh, she was just so fucked. How ridiculous.

She suddenly heard a laugh from downstairs, and Mary Jane dropped her hands as she rolled her head over towards the door. That laugh belonged to one specific person, and was one that she had been hearing for her entire life.

Mary Jane sighed, sitting up in her bed. In all honesty, telling Luna probably wasn't a bad idea. Like she said earlier, Luna wouldn't judge her, but it was scary announcing something like this out loud. But, it was probably for the best. Mary Jane remembered how hard it had been for Luna to keep her crush on Noah a secret. Keeping her own crush on Ellum had been excruciating. It was like it was trying to itch its way out of her skin, and Mary Jane knew if she didn't tell somebody sometime soon, it would probably be blurted out in the most embarrassing way possible.

She rolled her eyes at herself. Look at her now — this was stupid.

Mary Jane got up from her bed and descended down the steps, the sound of the TV getting louder and louder as she did so. She entered the living room, only to see two familiar figures on the couch — Luna and Noah. Luna had her chin resting on Noah's chest as she stared up at him, and Noah had his arm around her tightly as he looked down at her. Both of them seemed to have actual stars in their eyes, nothing short of adoration as they drank in each other, a quiet conversation passing between them. Clearly, they were more interesting to each other than the show Mary Jane paused for a second, glancing at them fondly. It was no secret that those two belonged with each other, and if she was being completely honest, Mary Jane still kind of hated herself for not seeing that earlier than she had.

She hated to break it up, but her mind was going crazy. If she didn't get it off her chest, she was sure she was going to explode.

"I'm in panic mode," Mary Jane announced, walking in front of the couch. Both of them immediately looked at her, and she suddenly felt very exposed. "I'm panicking."

"MJ," Noah complained, but there was really no malice behind it. "We're watching a show."

She gave him a look. "You were actually watching each other. Try again." Mary Jane shook her head. "I wouldn't interrupt unless something was really wrong."

Luna tilted her head, the stars in her eyes dimming, instantly getting replaced by an ocean of concern. "You okay?"

"Define okay." Mary Jane rubbed her temple for a moment, trying to at least form coherent thoughts. "Okay might be a little subjective right now. I think I'm having a crisis."

"About what?" Noah asked, obviously now intrigued.

She took a deep breath, shutting her eyes. "I think I have a crush on Ellum."

Nothing. Absolutely nothing but complete silence. Mary Jane slowly opened her eyes to see them both staring at her, almost in shock. She watched as the two of them looked at each other, communicating something with her eyes, before turning back to her.

Noah was the first one to cut through the silence. "You're talking about Bingle? You have a crush on Bingle?"

"I said Ellum, actually," Mary Jane replied, internally giggling at his last name. "And yeah, I do."

Luna tilted her head at her. "MJ . . . you haven't even met him."

Mary Jane pointed at her. "Exactly! That's the worst part of all of this. I don't know him, and I have all these big stupid feelings that shouldn't be there, and I don't know how to get rid of them."

"He eats bread . . . in bed!" Noah exclaimed. "That should be enough to make you not have a crush on him."

Luna hit his shoulder. "Enough, No." She sat up a little more on the couch, tucking a strand of her short hair behind her ear. "MJ, you do realize that he also recently got out of a long-term relationship, right? Him and Puffy were together for, like, two or three years. I mean, they've been broken up for a little while now, but still."

"This situation just keeps getting worse and worse," Mary Jane stated. "I cannot believe this. Why me? Why me?" She groaned in frustration. "God, I'm actually invested, and we haven't even met yet!" She fell on the couch in a heap. "I wish that I was kidding, but I'm not, and I hate it."

"You might as well just call it GG at this point," Noah said.

Mary Jane rolled her head over to glare at him. "I hate you."

Luna pushed his head slightly to the side. "Stop being mean to Ellum. He's such a sweetheart and an incredibly good guy, you know that." She then stood up from the couch, ignoring Noah's noise of protest. "MJ, I'm not saying all of this stuff to deter you." Luna sat herself back down next to Mary Jane, and Mary Jane leaned into Luna's embrace when she put an arm around her, reveling in the comfort. "I'm just very confused, to be honest. Nothing about Ellum — like I said, one of the best guys I know. I just don't quite understand how you came to this conclusion."

"I've been watching his streams," Mary Jane explained. "It started with young almonds."

Noah's mouth dropped open. "You heard him say they're dungarees, bruv, and still developed a crush on him?"

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

"Okay, enough," Luna cut in. "Noah, you've reached your limit on talking. And MJ—" Luna looked down at her. "You sure about this? Really sure?"

Mary Jane let out a deep breath, nodding her head. "I think so. It's bad. I'm embarrassed."

"There's no need to be embarrassed. I can help you. Really. Ellum and I are really close — you know that. Probably because I'm one of the only people who doesn't yell at him. Say the word, and I'll introduce you two."

Mary Jane thought about it for a second. That was true — Luna could simply just send a message to Ellum, and that would be that. But if she was being honest, Mary Jane wasn't sure if she wanted that. After all, Ellum was in LA, and she was on the opposite side of the country. She wanted to meet him, like, in person, before anything could actually happen. And considering there was no plans for her to go to LA until June, well . . .

"No, just let me live in my misery," Mary Jane responded. "If we meet in person, and those feelings don't go away, then I'll do something about it."

"You really know how to pick 'em good, MJ," Noah voiced. "Mary Jane Bingle. I can see it now."

"You are the worst."

＊*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙♥̩͙•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙♥•̩̩͙*˚＊

TWITTER

Mary Jane Brooks maryjane • 1h
in my delulu era

💬9,839 🔁15,376 ❤️50,487

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mjluna stan username • 1h
you always keep it so real girl

💬20 🔁919 ❤️250

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luna 🌙 lunahayes • 1h
God, she's actually invested!

💬15,679 🔁19,673 ❤️68,901

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good riddance username • 1h
WAIT LUNA WHAT WAS THAT . . . THAT SOUNDED LIKE A SONG LYRIC????

💬31 🔁1,245 ❤️472

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Nolan Hansen NolansRollin • 1h
aren't you always?

💬540 🔁6,254 ❤️12,010

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karl :) KarlJacobs_ • 1h
yeah seriously mj we've known this

💬1,392 🔁8,182 ❤️24,382

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Mary Jane Brooks maryjane • 1h
I hate both of you go AWAY

💬916 🔁9,203 ❤️15,820

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missing lexi howard username • 1h
speak your truth babe!

💬21 🔁945 ❤️202

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Foolish Gamers FoolishGamers • 1h
I wonder what this means 🤔

💬11,201 🔁4,390 ❤️13,900

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Mary Jane Brooks maryjane • 1h
say ANYTHING and you're done for

💬806 🔁12,305 ❤️10,235

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nc squad <3 username • 1h
mj, luna, karl, nolan, and foolish hold such a special place in my heart

💬95 🔁2,803❤️5,471

-ˏˋ ✩✩✩ ˊˎ-

HIIIIII BESTIES WELCOME TO RISK <3

wrote this bc I love ellum that's my lobby making king he's such a gem and too silly for his own good he deserves all the love in the world

and if ANY of you tell ellum about this I will skin you alive (I'm joking . . . unless)