[FLASHBACK]

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE LOVED

and I naturally got it.

"Y/N! Play with us!" The other kids would always invite me over.

"Y/N, you're so pretty!" They would compliment.

"Y-Y/N! Please go out with me!" They would ask.

So naturally, I thought I was superior to everyone.

"Don't you think she's kind of full of herself?"

What? What did you just say?

"She thinks she's all that because she's pretty."

No...I don't.

"Kendou..." you started.

Your best friend quickly turned towards you.

Kendou had Ben your friend from the start of the year.

You knew him the best, and he was pretty sure he knew you well too.

He was handsome, so girls stuck around him a lot. But when he got multiple confessions, he would say he was already interested in someone else.

"What is it?" He asked.

"Am I pretty?" You questioned, pointing to your face.

"Y-Yeah! Of course!" He eagerly responded.

"But is that it?" You looked sad.

"Huh?! Of course not...you're perfect in every other way! Why would you think-" he paused.
"Did someone...say something about you?"

You hesitated before continuing.

"What would you do if I said yes?"

"I'd make sure they were nicer to you." He answered.

You felt relieved.

"So you're on my side, right?" You gave him a smile.

Kendou blushed.

"Yeah! I'll always be by your side." He assured you.

The empty classroom suddenly felt different.

"Hey, Y/N..." Kendou nervously spoke.

"Uh-huh?" You faced him curiously.

"I like you." He quietly said.

"Huh? Quit whispering!" You impatiently hummed.

"I like you!" Kendou yelled.

Your face went red.

"W-WHAT?!" You yelled back.

"Can we...you know..." Kendou covered his face with his hands.

"GO OUT TOGETHER?!" You yelled.

"Please? We can just try..." Kendou looked at the floor.

You sat in silence for a while before answering.

"Fine!" You said, still red in the face.

"Really?!" Kendou happily asked.

"Don't think I actually like you or anything! I'm just doing it because you want to..." you turned away from him, arms crossed.

Kendou laughed.

"Sure."

That was until the incident happened.

"Siruto did what?!" Students whispered.

"What's...what's happening?" You asked someone in the crown beside you.

The police sirens were so loud you barely heard her reply.

"Siruto killed Kendou with a box cutter then killed himself!"

Your whole body froze on the spot.

You knew someone died or had gotten hurt, but this.

This...

Kendou.

"Kendou..." you slid to the floor.

Why?

He never did anything.

Wait.

Siruto.

Siruto killed Kendou.

Siruto.

Siruto was the one...from the morning...who...

"Please accept my feelings, Y/N! I've liked you for so long! I love you Y/N!" Siruto spilled his heart out in front of you in the morning at school.

"Siruto...I'm sorry. I can't...accept your feelings."

You rejected him.

Is that why..?

You accepted Kendou.

IS THAT...WHY?

Your whole body shook with sobs.

Kendou was gone.

Because...

You.

It was because of you.

If you hadn't rejected Siruto...then he would never have killed Kendou.

But why? Why would Siruto kill Kendou?

Even if it's from love it doesn't matter!

Kendou is gone.

Just...

If he didn't just kill him.

Why did he?

Just...IF...WHY?

It's...

"It's all my fault..."

You cried as the words forced themselves into your head.

ITS YOUR FAULT

HE WOULD STILL HE HERE IF IT WERENT FOR YOU

WHY DID YOU KILL HIM

HES GONE

HES GONE

ITS YOU

ITS BECAUSE OF YOU.

And it hurt.

So much.

And it wouldn't stop.

And it wasn't fair.

"This isn't fair." You thought.

"Just why did this happen because of me? I wish...I just wish.." you struggled to even comprehend your surroundings.

"Someone help her inside." Someone said from around you.

You couldn't hear them.

All you could hear was Kendou's voice.

"I'll always be by your side!" He said.

And now he wasn't.

It was because of you.

WAS IT REALLY YOUR FAULT THOUGH?