Warning: This chapter contains being outed without permission. The outing is not shown. It also contains implications to self-harming. It also implies a suicide and towards the references a suicide attempt.

At another Friday Night Dinner, Richard wasn't there, because he was on a business trip.

"Your grandfather called last night and told me to let you know he's bringing you back something very special from Prague," Emily told the three teens.

Dylan was sure that he was going to end up with a snowglobe.

"Wow, Prague," Rory said. "How amazing is it that he's going to Prague?"

"You could've sounded more enthusiastic about it," Dylan pointed out.

Rory threw a cherry tomato at his neck.

"Hey, hey, knock it off, Rory," Lorelai cut in. "Save the La Tomatina throwing for Spain."

Emily glared at Lorelai for daring to raise her children in a barn.

"Sorry," Rory said to Dylan.

"Why did you throw a tomato at me?" asked Dylan, confused.

Lorelai asked, "So Prague, huh?"

"It's supposed to be lovely." Emily said, "Very dramatic castles everywhere."

Rory asked, "Did you know the cell that Václav Havel was held in is now a hostel? You can stay there for like fifty dollars a night." Rory looked at Lorelai, "Hey, maybe on our big trip to Europe we could go to Prague and stay in his cell."

"Absolutely," Lorelai said. "And then we can go to Turkey and stay in that place from Midnight Express." She was messing with her food.

"Lorelai, what are you doing?" asked Emily.

"Getting rid of the avocado," Lorelai said.

"Why not just throw it at Christy, since you raised your kids to think that it's acceptable to throw food at each other?" asked Emily. Christy looked offended at the thought.

"I am not at fault for Rory's actions," Lorelai defended. "And I don't like avocado."

Dylan wished he kept his mouth shut because at least Lorelai wouldn't have gotten criticized.

"Since when?" asked Emily.

Lorelai said, "Since the day I said, 'Gross. What is this?' and you said, 'Avocado.'"

Emily turned to her grandkids, "I'm focusing on you now. Tell me all about the Chilton formal next week."

Lorelai asked, "There's a formal?"

Rory asked, "How do you know about the formal?"

Lorelai said, "Yeah, how do you know about the formal?"

"I read my Chilton newsletter," replied Emily.

"Since when do you get a Chilton newsletter?" asked Lorelai.

"Well as a major contributor to the triplets' education I figured I had the right to ask for a newsletter to be sent to my house," Emily stated, before getting up to go get something.

Lorelai asked, "Are you serious?"

"And it's a good thing, too, since you don't bother to read yours," Emily said. "One of us should be up to date on the goings-on at the school."

"Hey, Mom, I read my newsletter," Lorelai said.

If Dylan remembered correctly, Lorelai set a coffee mug on top of her Chilton newsletter.

Emily seemed to be in disbelief, "You did?"

"That's right," Lorelai said.

Emily held her copy of the newsletter to her chest, "What was the picture on the cover?"

Lorelai seemed uncertain as she replied, "It was a picture of a really rich kid in plaid."

Emily held the newsletter out to Lorelai, "It was a spotted owl."

Lorelai said, "In plaid."

Rory and Christy looked like they were trying not to laugh.

Emily explained, "The owls are endangered and Chilton is taking donations to help them." She spoke to her grandkids, "You three gave a very nice one, in case you're interested."

"Oh, good," Dylan said. "Mrs. Maddox can finally stop asking me if she should donate for me."

"Why would your teacher put in a donation for you?" asked Lorelai, confused.

"I don't know," Dylan replied. He found it weird too.

"Mom, don't be giving donations on their behalf," Lorelai said. "I'll do that."

Emily asked, "How can you do that when you don't bother to read the newsletter?"

Lorelai defended herself, "I read the newsletter."

Emily said, "You didn't know they were taking donations."

"It's a private school," Lorelai said. "They're always taking donations. They teach a class in it. I'll get them next time."

This was a weird hill for the both of them to be dying on, Dylan thought.

Emily asked, "Well what about the owls?"

Lorelai said, "They'll live."

"Apparently not," Dylan stated.

Emily smiled at him and spoke to Lorelai, "And that's why they need the donations in the first place."

Lorelai asked her kids, "So, you have a formal coming up?"

"Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to go," Rory said. "And I'm not sure about them."

"I don't dance," Dylan replied. He remembered how Lorelai had enrolled him and his sisters into Miss Patty's. Dylan kind of enjoyed it, until other kids mocked him for doing a girly thing and after that, he stood in the corner, and glared at everyone for daring to go near him.

"Yeah, I'm not going either," Christy said. She had three guys ask her to the dance, but they weren't the guy she wanted.

"Nonsense," Emily said. "Of course you three are going."

"Mom," Lorelai started. "If they don't want to go, they don't have to go."

"Well, I don't understand why they wouldn't want to go," Emily said.

"The one dance I went to at Stars Hollow High, I watched someone throw up in the punch bowl," Dylan said. "And then that started off a chain reaction of people throwing up."

"Yeah, I'm going to get another Coke," Rory said, getting up. She grabbed Dylan's arm, pulling him out of his seat.

"I don't need to hold your hand while you get soda," Dylan said. Rory grabbed Christy's arm, hauling her out of her seat too.

"What Dylan said," Christy said, as Rory dragged them to the kitchen so Lorelai and Emily could argue about the girls going to the stupid formal.

After getting their drinks refilled, they returned to the table, where Lorelai was plucking tomatoes off her salad.

"What's wrong with the tomato?" asked Emily.

"It was fraternizing with the enemy," Lorelai said.

"Why not throw it at Dylan like Rory did?" asked Emily.

"I am not going to live that down," Rory muttered.

"Well, you did throw a tomato at your brother for no reason," Lorelai pointed out.

After dinner was thankfully over, they got in the jeep and Lorelai headed home.

"Why didn't any of you mention the dance?" asked Lorelai.

"'Cause we're not going," Rory said.

"Oh," Lorelai said. "But why aren't you going?"

"I don't feel like making an even bigger clown than everybody already thinks I am," Dylan stated.

Christy gave him a strange look, because as far as she knew no one thought that.

Before Lorelai can question that logic, or tell him to stop self-deprecating, Rory said, "'Cause I hate dances."

"And you, Christy?" asked Lorelai.

"The right person hadn't asked me," Christy replied.

"Okay, except Rory, you've never actually been to a dance," Lorelai said.

"So?" asked Rory.

"So, you really have nothing to compare it to, except for the puking story that Dylan has," Lorelai said.

"Yeah, and I'd rather not witness something like that," Rory said.

"That's true, I wouldn't either," Lorelai said. "However, you're actually basing all your dance opinions off of Dylan's experience and one midnight viewing of Sixteen Candles."

"So?" replied Rory.

"So, you should at least experience one dance for yourself so you can have a decent reason for hating something before you really decide you hate it," Lorelai said.

"Trust me, I'll hate it." Rory explained, "It'll be stuffy and boring, the music will suck and since none of the kids at school like me, I'll be stuck in the back listening to 98° watching Tristan and Paris argue over which one of them gets to make me miserable first."

"Okay," Lorelai said. "Or it'll be all sparkly and exciting and you'll be standing on the dance floor listening to Tom Waits with some great-looking guy staring at you so hard that you don't even realize that Paris and Tristan have just been eaten by bears."

Rory asked, "What guy?"

"I don't know," Lorelai said. "Maybe the guy who hangs out in our trees all day waiting for you to come home?"

"Dean does not hang out in trees," Rory defended.

Lorelai said, "Alex threw an orange at Dean two weeks ago and he bashed his head on a branch last week when I came out of the house too quickly."

Dylan chuckled at the memory of seeing Alex throw an orange at Dean, before Alex flipped him off for being a weirdo by watching the house.

Rory asked, "Why do you care all of sudden if I go?"

"I don't care if you go. I just don't want you to miss any experience because you're too afraid and just basing your dislike of them based off of one story that your brother had," Lorelai explained.

"I'm afraid?" asked Rory, "Of what?"

"Of asking Dean. Of him saying 'no.' Of going to a dance with a bunch of kids who haven't accepted you yet," Lorelai said. "Of dancing in public. Of finding out you should never be dancing in public."

"Okay, okay, I get it," Rory said.

"Listen, I know you are not Miss Party Girl, and I love you for that, but sometimes I wonder – do you not join in because you really don't want to or because you're too shy?" Lorelai said, "If the reason you don't want to go is because you really don't want to go and not because you are in any way afraid, then this is the last time I'll mention it, I promise."

Rory sounded uncertain, "I don't have a dress."

Lorelai said, "I could make you one."

Rory asked, "Really?"

"Oh yeah," Lorelai said. "We could get some great shoes and some new earrings. You could get your hair done."

"You won't think I'm an idiot?" asked Rory.

"Depends on what hairstyle you choose," Lorelai said. "This dance could be great for you."

After a moment, Lorelai said, "And Dylan..."

Dylan rolled his eyes, "I don't want a bigger fool out of myself."

"What if Caroline wanted to go to the dance?" asked Lorelai.

Christy and Rory grimaced, because sure they knew that Dylan and Caroline weren't actually dating, Emily and Lorelai just didn't know that.

"Trust me, she doesn't want to go either," Dylan replied. It was true. Dylan and Caroline agreed that going to the winter formal was lame. And they were pretty sure that the rest of the school figured out that they really weren't together, considering that Dylan had two random girls ask him to the formal, and he had to awkwardly decline because he was 'dating' Caroline.

"And you Christy?" asked Lorelai.

"Like I said, the right guy didn't ask me," Christy replied, looking out the window.

"That's because Ricky doesn't even know about the stupid formal," Dylan said.

Christy started, "I do not—"

"Just ask him already, Jesus Christ," Dylan replied. "I don't care if you date Ricky. Hell, I could ask him for you."

"No! Don't do that," Christy said. "He'll say no anyway."

"How would you know?" asked Lorelai. "He could say yes, you know."

Christy groaned, "Fine. I'll ask him."

By breakfast on Saturday, Dylan had been outed as bisexual by Cole in Luke's, in front of his sisters, mother, his band-mates, Luke, Lydia, and...Miss Patty, who no doubt, told the rest of the town, who would know by lunch about the two 'gay' guys having some kind of public break up, even though that's not how it went down.

The only consolation he had was that Cole also outed himself.

Dylan had no clue why Cole got drunk...but Dylan now knew that Cole certainly held a grudge. Apparently Cole was stewing over the fact that Dylan called him Greg and that Dylan didn't even call him back.

The whole ordeal was humiliating when everyone looked over at him with disgust. So the first thing he said was, "I'm not a freak," and took off. 

What he didn't see was that Luke had to pry Lydia off of Cole, because she gave Cole a nice black eye for what he had done.

Not even Christy or her other friend, Kayla, knew why Lydia had done what she did.

Sure Rory and Christy wanted to hit Cole for doing what he did to their brother; it was just that they were shocked because they didn't know that about Dylan.

Besides, Lydia had gotten to Cole and punched him first.

So, here was Dylan, lying face down on his bed, wishing he really was dead but he didn't have the energy to off himself. He had used whatever energy he had to take his anger out on his arms with a razer blade, while thinking, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. 

And now all he could think was, Why couldn't I have been born fucking normal? as his arms ached from what he just did to them a few minutes prior.

Someone came in and sat on the bed next to him.

"Hey, Dill," started Lorelai.

Dylan almost groaned, "Go away."

"I just want to talk," Lorelai said.

"Go away," Dylan repeated. He didn't want to talk.

"I wish what happened in Luke's didn't happen," Lorelai said. Dylan really wished what happened didn't happen too. Lorelai continued, "I also wish we found out some other way."

Dylan looked at Lorelai, "I wanted to tell you, but that one guy said, 'I bet I could fit this whole hamburger in my mouth' and you said, 'we know who the gay one is in that group.'"

"I'm sorry that I unintentionally hurt you by that comment," Lorelai said.

The only consolation that Dylan had was that he willingly came out to Caroline.

Rory and Christy came in, but Christy was holding a cup from Luke's.

So...that's what took them so long to get back?

"Here, Luke wanted you to have a milkshake," Rory said, taking the cup and the straw from Christy and handing it over to Dylan.

"If Lydia didn't get to Greg first, I would've beaten the shit out of Greg," Christy told Dylan.

"Yeah, same," Rory said.

"Cole," Dylan corrected.

Rory asked, "Cole?"

"His name is Cole, not Greg," Dylan answered.

"He looks so much like a Greg," Lorelai stated.

By lunch, Dylan's friends ended up coming over to check on Dylan, because they had to make sure that he was okay, because they cared about him, even though Dylan thought otherwise. Dylan didn't want to see them, because all he wanted was to marinate in his self-loathing.

Unfortunately, they didn't get the memo, because that had to interrupt his self-loathing session.

"Hey, look, we're not judging you for liking guys," Mai said.

"Did you seriously have to go after Greg though?" asked Alex. "I mean, he's so boring."

"His name is Cole," Dylan corrected.

"God, seriously?" Alex said, "You used to make out with a guy who was essentially named after wet salad?" He wasn't exactly so sure why he was mad at the thought since it was none of his business on who or what Dylan did.  

Okay, he was hurt that Dylan didn't feel comfortable enough to come out to them...Alex thought that Dylan thought of them as friends...but apparently not because Dylan didn't tell them about his rendezvous sessions with Coleslaw. Alex hated coleslaw...but he hated Cole more because he got to make out with D – Alex was so not going there. He didn't want to know where that thought was going. He also had to squash down the random hope he was feeling too. That was just weird.

Cecilia groaned at what Alex said, "Seriously?" Ricky, Jack, and Mai had to give Alex a look at that.

"I'm just saying," Alex defended himself.

"That is why I didn't tell you," Dylan said. "Because I don't feel like giving you more things for you to throw at me."

Alex felt offended at the thought, "I wouldn't mock you for liking guys. I'm not that much of a dick."

"And I don't feel like having you give me shit over the guys that for some reason, want to date me," Dylan replied.

Alex almost rolled his eyes because Dylan was going into self-deprecating mode again. It annoyed him to know end that Dylan always put down his looks because he is an attractive guy.

Having daddy issues really did a number on Dylan hadn't it?

"I mean, you went for Coleslaw of all people," Alex replied. Of all the guys, Dylan went for a bland, boring dude named after a wet salad.

Dylan asked, "Who do you know who's gay or bi?"

That was true too, because not even Alex knew. "But seriously though? You went after Cole?"

"Bye, Alex," Dylan said, loudly.

"Okay, but seriously, though," Ricky started. "Have you ever thought about dating me, Alex, and Jack though? Like just a passing thought."

Alex was honestly curious to know.

"What? No!" replied Dylan.

"Just be honest," Alex said. "You had to have thought about me like that, right?" Cecilia gave him a look at that statement.

"I like to think I could do better than you," Dylan replied.

Okay, that kind of stung...a little.

"Apparently you can't because you went after Cole," Alex replied. What the hell did Dylan see in that guy?

Dylan grabbed a hardcover book and actually threw it at him.

Alex had to avoid getting hit by it and looked at the title. War and Peace. Alex had to say, "That's not very peaceful of you."

Dylan grabbed another one of his brick-like books and took aim.

Ricky had to shove Alex out of Dylan's room before he was nailed by the book.

"See you later, Dylan," Mai said over her shoulder as she and Cecilia went after Ricky and Alex.

Once they got downstairs, Ricky asked Alex, "Did you seriously have to mock Dylan over Cole?"

"Especially Cole's name?" added Cecilia.

"And that's one of the reasons he didn't come out to us," Mai added, with her hands on her hips. 

"But seriously, though," Alex said. "He went after Cole."

Ricky asked, "Why are you so hung up over Cole?"

"Because he's bland and boring," Alex defended himself. "Why can't either of you see that?"

Ricky asked, "You're pissed because you think that Dylan could do better?"

Cecilia turned to her right, because Jack was always standing there – except for he wasn't.

"But you're mad because you think that Dylan could do better?" asked Mai.

"That's not what I said," Alex said.

Ricky asked, "Then why the hell are you mad at Dylan kissing Cole?"

The thought just infuriated Alex even more. It was just Cole that managed to get under his skin. And Cole wasn't all that good looking either.

"He gets the same way whenever Dylan brings up Caroline," Mai told Ricky. She smirked, "Oh, look, he's scowling now."

Cecilia looked up at the stairs, "I should get Jack."

"I'll get him," Alex replied because he knew that Jack wouldn't be as annoying as Mai and Ricky were.

He went up the stairs and to Dylan's room. When he walked in Dylan's room he found Dylan pinning Jack to the bed.

They definitely looked a bit disheveled as they looked at him. What the fuck did he just walk in? And why did seeing it just piss him off more? Alex asked, "Am I interrupting something?" 

"Damn you caught us," Jack said, sounding sarcastic. "You walked in on us making out."

"Yup," Dylan said, trying to sound serious, but Alex can see that he was trying hard not to smile, "go away now."

Jack pulled Dylan's head down, kissing him before shoving him away, "Yup, not into that, sorry."

Dylan laughed it off.

Alex just turned and walked away, feeling angry all of a sudden because who the hell did Jack think he was to do something like to Dylan?

It was an awkward walk back home because Alex was pissed at Jack who lived on the same block as him. God knows what Cecilia, Mai, and Ricky were discussing.

"I think you need to sort your emotions," Jack said to Alex.

Alex yelled, "I do not have a crush on Dylan!"

"I never said that, but thanks for confirming it for me," Jack replied.

Oh, god, Alex thought, feeling embarrassed.

"It makes sense, because you acted the same way when Cecilia was dating that one guy whose name escapes me. And you're acting the same way over Cole," Jack replied. "You're jealous."

Alex started, "I am not—"

"You are," Jack replied. "It makes sense with you getting irrationally angry over Cole and you're really frosty because I kissed Dylan as a joke."

He almost hissed, 'Don't say the fucking name' at Jack. "How the hell did you not get hit in the face with a shovel yet?"

"How have you not gotten stabbed yet is beyond me," Jack replied, going up the porch to his house. 

Christy did ask Ricky to the dance, but because Christy freaked out at the last minute, she asked him to go as friends and surprisingly Ricky agreed. So, Christy was standing in line with the money that Ricky had given her to buy the tickets with Rory standing behind her, reading.

"And she's reading again," Dugray said. "How novel."

"Goodbye, Tristan," Rory replied flatly.

"Did you get the novel thing?" Dugray started explaining, "Because..."

"I said goodbye," Rory replied.

"What are you doing here?" asked Dugray.

"Stephen King and us are one and the same," Christy started, "We love our lines."

"The guy's supposed to buy the tickets," Dugray pointed out.

"Thanks for shoving your insane fifties' views on masculinity down my throat," Christy replied.

"Yeah," Rory agreed, "Does Susan Faludi know about this?"

"Unless, of course, there is no guy," Dugray said.

"We have guys," Christy defended. "Just because we're not asking you to take us roughly against the lockers doesn't make us liars."

"A cheap guy," Dugray said.

"I like 'em cheap and freaky. You know, really burned up, wearing a Where's Waldo sweater, sporting a claw glove like a strap-on." Christy nodded, "Yeah, that's what turns me on."

"I like mine cheap," Rory added. "Sloppy too – bald spot, beer gut, you know, and the pants that kind of slip down in the back, giving that good plumber shot. That sends me through the roof."

"So who are they?" asked Dugray.

Rory asked, "Christy, how many languages can you say 'none of your business' in?"

"Three," Christy said. "Spanish, Portuguese, and German."

"Do they go to this school?" asked Dugray.

"No, they don't," Rory replied.

"Uh-huh," replied Dugray, clearly not believing them. "Well, look, okay. I'll confess something to you both. I don't have a date."

"I'll send Katherine Knight a letter giving her a head's up," Christy stated.

"And I heard Squeaky Fromme is up for parole soon," Rory added. "You should keep a good thought."

"Well, I actually thought one of you two, or both would like to go with me," Dugray said.

"You're better off keeping your fantasies between you and your hand," Christy stated, disgusted, before going up to the table.

"Two tickets," Christy told Paris.

"Idiot," Paris said.

"I'm sorry?" asked Christy.

"Tristan was being nice to you and your sister, and you couldn't be a bigger jerk," Paris stated.

"Calling me a liar is him being nice?" asked Christy. "I don't have time for your attitude, Gellar. Just give me my two tickets."

Paris handed Christy the two tickets and took Christy's money.

By Saturday, Dylan was in the living room. Lorelai had a muscle spasm when making the dresses for Christy and Rory. So, Dylan was playing 'butler' by getting Lorelai whatever she needed while his sisters were at the dance.

"Come on already!" called Lorelai.

Rory called back, "I'm primping!"

"You're both sixteen! You two have skin like babies' asses. There's nothing to primp," Lorelai called back.

"Okay, okay," Rory replied. "Here, we come."

Rory and Christy came into the living room wearing their dresses for the dance. Rory's was purple, but Christy's was blue.

"Wow," Lorelai said. "Someone hit you two with pretty sticks."

"More like the ugly sticks," Dylan joked.

Christy grabbed a pillow and hit Dylan with it, before she tried to sit on him.

"I'm sorry," Dylan said. "I meant to say that you both fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

Christy tried to cover Dylan's face with the pillow, "Go to sleep. Go to sleep."

"I wish," Dylan replied.

"Hey, hey, break it up you two," Lorelai said. She looked at Rory, "Stray hair."

Rory went over to Lorelai, "Fix, please."

Lorelai fixed the hair, "Yes." She patted Rory's head, "I think my favorite part is the shoes."

Dylan and Christy looked at the combat boots that Rory had on.

"Are those mine?" asked Dylan.

"Yes, because the heels hurt," Rory replied.

"Well, beauty is pain," Lorelai stated.

"I'll just throw them on, on my way out," Rory said.

"No, you should put them on now and let your feet get really numb," Lorelai said.

"That's sick," Rory replied.

"That's sacrifice for the pain of beauty," Christy replied.

"Go, get me the hair spray," Lorelai said.

"Okay," Rory replied, going to get the hair spray.

The doorbell rang.

"It's open!" called Lorelai.

"It's me and Cory!" Sookie said, walking in with Jack following. "We got tacos!"

"Yay!" cheered Lorelai.

"I got extra hot sauce and some guacamole for Dylan and a couple of extra burritos to put in the fridge in case you get hungry later," Sookie said, setting a white bag on the coffee table.

"You take such good care of me," Lorelai said.

Rory came in with a can of hairspray, "Hey, Sookie. Look." She smiled and motioned at her and Christy.

Sookie gasped, "Oh my god! You two are movie stars! I'm serious. Don't they look like movie stars, Cory?"

"Yeah, sure," Jack replied, giving them both a bored, blank expression.

Sookie said, "At some point tonight, walk down a flight of stairs. Movie stars always walk down staircases."

"Okay, come on." Lorelai spoke to Rory, "Let me spray while you try to figure out what she just said."

Rory headed to Lorelai, but Sookie stopped Rory and spoke to Lorelai, "You, don't move. I got it." She took the hairspray from Rory. She pointed the hairspray can in a direction.

"Mom," Jack started, but Sookie ended up spraying herself in the eyes.

"Ow!" exclaimed Sookie.

"Sookie," Lorelai said, worried.

"Wrong way! I got it," Sookie said.

"Jeez, Mom, are you okay?" asked Jack.

"Yeah, sweetie," Sookie said. She handed the hairspray to Rory, "Hand that to your mother and my eyelashes are all stuck together."

Jack led Sookie to the kitchen.

Lorelai asked, "Honey, are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine," Sookie said.

Christy grabbed the tacos and went into the kitchen with Dylan followed.

"Hey, is this soap?" asked Jack.

"No," Dylan said. He grabbed the soap, "Here's the actual soap."

Christy had put a towel around her shoulders as a makeshift bib while she got some tacos out to eat.

Rory came into the kitchen and put a towel in her dress.

Dylan was confused, "Are you stuffing your bra?"

Jack actually started laughing.

Dylan said, "Does Dean like girls with big t—"

"Finish that sentence," Rory warned, "Because I will put salt in your coffee. Again."

"Again?" asked Jack, confused.

Dylan grabbed a taco and some hot sauce to add in the taco. Apparently, his white shirt (over a long sleeve shirt) wanted to taste some hot sauce as well. Dylan honestly didn't give a fuck about the stain.

The doorbell rang.

"We're in here!" yelled Lorelai.

The door opened and closed, "We're in here? That's how you answer the door?"

That was Emily.

After some talking, Emily called out, "Rory, Christy, Dylan, come in here please."

The three went to the living room, with the girls wearing makeshift bibs and each eating tacos.

"Hey, Grandma," Rory greeted with a smile, holding a taco.

Emily looked at the makeshift bibs and the hot sauce on Dylan's shirt. She spoke to Lorelai, "They have lived with you too long."

"Rory, Christy, lose the bib and the taco, put your shoes on, come back out, and let Grandma take the pretty picture," Lorelai said.

"Dylan, go change your shirt," Emily said to Dylan.

"Why?" asked Dylan.

"Because I want you in the picture with your sisters," Emily told him.

"I'm not going to the dance," Dylan replied.

Lorelai said, "Dylan, just go change your shirt and don't argue with your grandmother." Dylan groaned and went upstairs to change his shirt, which he found pointless.

He put on a different shirt and went downstairs.

Jack was leading Sookie into the living room.

"I'm gonna get going," Sookie said. "Cory is going to walk me home to make sure that I don't walk into traffic." Sookie turned to the staircase, "It was nice to see you again—" Jack turned Sookie to face Emily, "Mrs. Gilmore."

"Jack, you better call in fifteen minutes or I'm sending out a search party for you both," Lorelai said.

"And you call me if I can come over and help Dylan help you up the stairs or something," Sookie said.

"No, Dylan and I'll be fine," Lorelai replied.

"Bye," Sookie said.

"Bye," Jack said to Dylan.

"Yeah," Dylan replied as Jack helped Sookie out of the door.

"She called him Cory, but you called him Jack," Emily pointed out.

"His first name is Coriander, but Sookie calls him Cory for short and she's the only one who calls him that. Everyone else calls him Jack," Dylan explained.

"And why would Dylan help you up the stairs?" asked Emily.

"No reason," lied Lorelai. She yelled, "Rory, Christy, let's go! Your public awaits!"

"Why aren't you moving?" asked Emily.

"I'm comfortable, that's all," replied Lorelai.

Emily looked at Dylan, "What happened to your mother? Is she hurt?"

"She has a back spasm," Dylan told Emily.

"Yeah, it's no big deal," Lorelai told Emily.

Emily asked, "What sort of back spasm?"

"I don't know, Mom," Lorelai said. "Just a normal one."

"There is nothing normal about a back spasm," Emily said. "The very fact that it has the word spasm in it means it's not normal."

Rory and Christy finally emerged from the kitchen, Lorelai said, "All right, there they are." Lorelai spoke to Emily, "Mom, get your camera moving."

"What?" Emily looked, "Oh, my, you both are gorgeous. Oh! Smile!" She took a few pictures of Christy and Rory. Emily spoke to Lorelai, "I'm so glad you decided to buy them dresses." She looked at Dylan, "Dylan stand in between your sisters."

Dylan had to go stand in between Christy and Rory, take some pictures of them. Then she had Christy stand to the side so she could take pictures of Rory and Dylan, then had Rory step to the side so Emily could take some pictures of Dylan and Christy together.

There was a car honking outside.

There was a car honking outside.

"That's Dean!" said Rory. She made to move towards the door.

"Hey, come here," Lorelai said. Rory went to Lorelai and hugged her, "Have an amazing time."

"I'll chronicle the whole evening for you and Dylan, I promise," Rory said. To Emily, she said, "Bye, Grandma." She kissed Emily on the cheek and went to the door.

"Where are you going?" asked Emily.

Rory stopped, "To the dance?"

"You do not go running out the door when a boy honks," Emily said.

"As opposed to quacking?" asked Dylan.

Christy snorted.

"You and my brother would've gotten along so well," Emily told Dylan.

Lorelai said, "Mom, it's fine."

"It certainly is not fine. This is not a drive through. She's not fried chicken," Emily said.

"You know about KFC?" asked Christy, surprised.

"If someone threw a bucket of fried chicken through the front window from their car, I wouldn't care," Dylan said. "I got fried chicken out of it."

"If someone loved me as much as they loved fried chicken, I'd be on Cloud 9," Christy told Dylan. 

"Enough about the fried chicken, because you two are making me want it," Lorelai told them, already getting a craving for fried chicken.

Dean honked the car horn.

"But I told Dean to honk, and I'd meet him out there," Rory said. "We agreed."

"I don't care what you told him. If he wants to take you out, he will walk up to this door, and knock, and say, 'good evening,' and come inside for a moment like any civilized human being would know to do," Emily chided. She looked at Christy, "And where's your date?"

Christy looked at Dylan.

"One of Ricky's sisters got appendicitis, and they had to go to the hospital," Dylan explained awkwardly. "He's going to be a little late."

"Now, Mom, this is silly," Lorelai said. "I have met him already. Even Dylan and Christy met him. Even Caroline met him."

And Caroline didn't like Dean, Dylan mentally added.

"Well, I haven't," Emily said.

Lorelai started, "Yeah, but—"

"We will wait until he comes to the door," Emily said.

"He doesn't know he's supposed to," Rory said.

Emily said, "He will figure it out."

Dean honked the horn. Rory sighed and crossed her arms. They waited in awkward silence. A minute later Dean honked the horn.

"He's not a very bright boy, is he?" asked Emily.

Christy snickered and Dylan got up and went to the door and opened it, "Hey! Get your ass in here!"

Dean got out of the car and went inside, "Uh, I was told to get in here?"

"Young man, come in here please," Emily said.

Dean went into the living room.

"Hey, Dean, meet my mother, Emily Post," Lorelai said.

"Emily Gilmore," Emily corrected.

"Hi," Dean said.

"Hello," Emily replied.

Dean looked at Dylan, "I saw your friend, uh, the less murderous looking one, fussing with his older sister."

Dylan had to think about it, "Did she have green hair?"

"Yeah," Dean replied.

"That is his older sister," Dylan replied.

The doorbell rang and Lorelai yelled, "Come in."

Ricky walked in, and looked at everyone, looking like a deer caught in headlights.

Lorelai started, "Ricky this is—"

"Emily Gilmore," Emily said.

"Ricky Cohen," he said as he went to shake Emily's hand. Emily looked at Ricky's long hair and how he was a bit on the chubby side.

Dylan was pretty sure that just for shaking her hand alone, Emily liked Ricky a bit better.

"Great rap session," Lorelai said. She tossed Christy the car keys, "All right, you guys are out of here. Have fun."

"Be home by eleven," Emily said.

Dylan noticed that Lorelai mouthed 'twelve'.

"Bye Mom, bye Grandma," Rory said, leaving with Dean.

Christy smiled, "Bye Mom, bye Grandma." She followed after Rory and Dean.

Once the door closed, Emily turned to Dylan, "You can go upstairs to your room now."

"But I'm supposed to help Mom out because of her back spasm," Dylan replied.

"Just go," Lorelai told him. "I'll yell if I need anything."

Dylan went upstairs, figuring that he should do his homework first before taking a nap. Although, he didn't appreciate crying over it, because when did he turn into a little bitch who cried over math problems?

So far, everything at the school dance was going fine.

Until Madeline and Louise came up to them (Rory and Dean included.)

"Rory, Christy...you came," Louise said. "Oh, great dresses. Who's it by?"

"Lorelai Gilmore," Rory said.

"Made the dresses yourself?" asked Louise, sounding a tad impressed.

"No, our mom made them for us," Christy said.

Madeline seemed impressed, "She did? Really?"

"Yeah," Rory said.

Before Christy could ask Ricky if he wanted to dance, Louise asked, "So you two traveling with bodyguards now?"

"Oh, this is Ricky," Christy said. "We're here just as friends." She almost cringed, because she still couldn't believe she chickened out and added 'as friends' at the end of "Do you want to go to my school's winter formal with me – as friends?"

"Oh, no, Rory said. "This is my – this is Dean. Dean, this is Louise and Madeline."

"Hey," Dean said.

Christy wasn't that surprised that Louise looked over once at Ricky (she probably he was too 'fat) to focus solely on Dean, Louise flirtatiously asked, "How tall are you?"

Dean seemed caught off by the question, "Uh..."

"Soup!" Madeline said, "She can make soup!"

"What kind of soup?" asked Ricky.

Louise, Rory, and Dean were busy talking.

"She can make one kind of soup, actually," Madeline said. "It's green. Lumpy."

"So, pea soup?" asked Christy.

"Actually, she can't make soup either," Madeline said.

"Does she know how to make cereal?" asked Ricky. "Like add the cereal first, then the milk?"

"She burned it once," Madeline said.

Christy was caught off guard, "How the f—"

"Okay, I'm bored," Louise said. She turned and walked away.

Madeline smiled, "I like your dresses."

"Thanks," Rory and Christy said in unison.

For a moment, Christy wondered if it would be possible for her to steal Madeline away as a friend.

Emily had warmed up Lorelai's burrito that Lorelai wanted, when she spotted Dylan coming down the stairs. In certain lighting, it looked like he had been crying. And somehow, he looked worse off than he had at least an hour ago.

Lorelai looked at Dylan, "Look who finally decided to come out of his cave."

Dylan turned and went back upstairs. He reminded her so much of her late brother, it was uncanny: the high energy and the extreme lows, the dumb jokes, the self-depreciation, barely eating, and the obvious fake smiles (when she thought back on it). She wouldn't be surprised if one day out of the blue, he would suddenly be happy again while still in a funk.

Emily asked, "Is Dylan all right?"

"Dylan's fine, Mom," Lorelai said, with a sigh.

"I don't think he is," Emily replied.

"He says he's fine, so he is," Lorelai replied.

Emily replied, "Just because he says he's fine, doesn't mean that he's fine."

"Mom, please," Lorelai said. "I like to think that I know my own son. And if he says he's fine then he's fine."

"I want you to take him to see a psychiatrist," Emily told Lorelai. "Just one session."

"Oh, Mom," Lorelai started.

"I'm not attacking your parenting, Lorelai," Emily said. "I'm just worried about him."

"He's not Mikey, Mom," Lorelai said. "I have the gun under lock and key where he wouldn't even be able to reach it."

"That's not very funny," Emily told her.

"That was a joke," Lorelai replied.

"It wasn't a very funny one, considering how my brother died," Emily replied.

"Mom, he's not Mikey," Lorelai replied, "Trust me."

"I trusted Mikey too and then I found his body," Emily added.

"If it will make you feel better, I'll take him to see a psychiatrist," Lorelai replied.

"It would," Emily replied. "Thank you."

Even though she knew that Lorelai wouldn't take Dylan to see a psychiatrist.

Christy and Ricky had gotten their picture taken before they headed for the dance floor to dance together. Ricky's hand went to Christy's waist as her arms went around his neck, clinging to him as she rested her chin on his shoulder. Christy hated that they were at this dance thing as friends.

"Is everything okay, Christy?" asked Ricky.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Christy replied.

"You know, you can tell me," Ricky replied.

Christy sighed, "I didn't want to go to this dance as just friends with you."

"Me too," Ricky admitted.

Christy felt her shoulders relax a bit. She hadn't realized how tense she was. It explained why Ricky asked if she was okay. She nearly laughed because Ricky wanted the same thing as her.

Ricky asked, "How about we get out of here and I can buy you a cheeseburger or something?"

"A dance or two won't kill us," Christy told him.

"Yes, but your hold on my neck might kill me," Ricky replied.

"Oh, sorry," Christy replied, loosening her hold on his neck. She decided to test her luck and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck. Did she just cross a line considering that Ricky was her brother's friend – more importantly – band-mate?

Ricky titled her face and this time kissed her.

They didn't even notice Dugray glaring daggers at Ricky, because Christy degraded herself for some long-haired fat fuck?

After another dance, Ricky suggested that he go buy Christy a hamburger, which she agreed to.

So he went to get their coats while Christy went to tell Rory that she was leaving.

"Oh, Dean and I are leaving too," Rory said. "The guy that Paris is with is her cousin."

"That's actually sad," Christy said. Though could she say she did better by going to a dance with brother's friend?

"Where are you headed?" asked Rory. "Dean and I were going to Stars Hollow."

"I don't know," Christy admitted, "Ricky's getting me a cheeseburger."

Rory nodded and Christy went to look for Ricky. Dugray was over there talking to Ricky and Dean.

They went to break up the fight that was inevitably brewing.

"Get out of my way, Dristan," Dean ordered.

"Oh, aren't you clever?" replied Dugray.

Rory stepped in between, "Hey, what's going on?"

"Nothing," Dugray replied. "Just getting to know your boyfriends here." He looked at Ricky, "Or at least the one that this guy ate."

"Seriously?" asked Ricky, "You're trying to insult me with the truth? What's next? You going to insult me with my hair color?"

"We really should get going," Christy said, noticing how people were looking over at them.

"Oh, why?" asked Dugray. "Little girls' got to be home? Got to go eat out an entire buffet?"

"Is that all you got?" Ricky asked, "Being a dick to girls and really lame fat insults?"

"Just stop," Dean told Dugray.

"No, I think you make very cute couples," Dugray continued. "Is your horse and buggy parked outside? Got to get home for the barn raising? Got to get to McDonald's before they close?"

"I heard worse from first graders," Ricky replied.

Christy grabbed Ricky's hand, "Ignore him. He's pathetic." She tried to lead Ricky away, but Dugray stepped in her way. Dean shoved Dugray, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Okay, you will not push me again," Dugray ordered.

"Are you seriously trying to act tough?" Dean said, "You're wearing a tie for god's sake."

"Outside! Now!" ordered Dugray.

"You seriously want to fight?" asked Ricky. "Do you even know how to throw a punch since you're so rich and white?"

"Oh, like you wouldn't tire out before your fist even hits my face," Dugray mocked.

"At least he's much more of a man than you'll ever hope to be," Christy replied.

"Yeah, it'd be like fighting an accountant," Dean said. "I'll call you when I need my taxes done."

Dugray started shoving Dean and Ricky had to pull Christy out of the way before she got knocked down.

"Man, the others should've been here," Ricky said as some other boys and male teacher separated Dean and Dugray. "It would've been the bar fight all over again."

"Alex would kill him," Christy said.

"While smiling too," Ricky added.

"You don't want to fight me, Tristan!" exclaimed Dean.

Dugray asked, "Why not?"

"'Cause I'll kill you, idiot!" proclaimed Dean. He spoke to Rory, "Come on, Rory, let's go." He tried to leave with Rory, but Dugray broke free from the people holding him back. Dean turned and got in Dugray's face, "You will not come near her or Christy. Ever again."

They left the dance together.

Later, Ricky bought Christy a hamburger and chili cheese fries. Since Ricky was a vegetarian, he got a salad. The waitress had assumed that Christy had ordered the salad and thus gave her the salad and the hamburger and chili cheese fries to Ricky.

While Christy ate, Ricky picked at his salad, before asking, "Am I fat to you?" He asked it so loudly that it caused other customers to look over, as if Christy insulted Ricky.

"Uh, no," Christy replied. "I mean, I like that you're shapely. Hugging you feels like hugging Frosty the Snowman." Sure she hugged skinny dudes and athletic dudes, but hugging Ricky was different. "It feels magical. I mean, you have a lot more to have than those twiggy guys. I have too much space that you can fill up." She gestured with her arms.

Ricky smiled, "I get what you're saying."

Things had gone to hell very quickly.

Rory had came back from being out all night and while Lorelai and Rory were arguing, Dylan cut in and yelled at Lorelai about how Rory is not the screw-up of the family, that Rory would not just fuck some dude after knowing him for two months, and that Rory is her own person and not an extension of Lorleai, before Dylan stormed out.

Lorelai had been in shock because she never saw Dylan that angry before. Rory and Christy didn't seem shocked by Dylan's rage, so they clearly saw him that rage-filled before.

So, while Rory hid out in her room with Christy and Dylan was god-knows-where doing god-knows-what, Lorelai paced in the living room until she heard car doors shutting and then a knocking on the front door. She went to the door and opened it.

Luke had a hold of a drenched and shivering Dylan, who had a towel around his shoulders.

"I think he belongs to you," Luke said.

"What happened?" asked Lorelai, confused.

"He jumped into the lake," Luke said.

"I fell," Dylan said.

Luke rolled his eyes, "I saw you jump. Lydia saw you jump."

"I fell," Dylan replied.

"Just go take a warm bath and get dressed into warm clothes before you get sick," Lorelai told Dylan. Dylan went upstairs and Lorelai looked at Luke, "Thank you for bringing him home."

Luke was giving her a look, "Lorelai."

"What?" asked Lorelai.

Luke said, "He really needs to see a psychiatrist, Lorelai."

"He says he's fine," Lorelai replied.

"He jumped into the lake," Luke said. "I saw him jump. Lydia saw him jump. People who are fine don't go jumping into freezing lakes during winter."

Lorelai started, "He—"

"Your son needing to talk to a psychiatrist doesn't make you a bad mother," Luke cut in. "I have spent months watching that kid go through hell and him jumping into a lake is the last straw, Lorelai. You're not blind. You can see it too. If I don't hear about you taking him to see a psychiatrist, I'll do it myself, because I really don't want to see his funeral and I just know that if he died, it'll tear you apart. Because refusing to get him help when he clearly needs it makes you a bad mother."

Lorelai nodded, because things come in threes after all: Max telling her at the conference, then Emily telling her last night, and now Luke telling her. "Okay. I'll schedule an appointment right now."

Luke seemed to scrutinize her before leaving.

So, after Lorelai closed the door, she went to grab a phone book and look for therapists to call.