A/N: Title taken from the Dark Divine song, Cold. The lyrics go, "So tell me, do you hate me?"

Dylan somehow made it to the next month without bursting from stress. He thought it was a miracle that he didn't end up swallowing an entire bottle of aspirins that he kept in his room.

Now his sisters dragged him through the square to go to Luke's.

"One of us has to do laundry tonight," Lorelai said.

Was it too late to go home and swallow those pills?

"Why?" asked Rory.

"Because I haven't had any clean underwear for three days," Lorelai said.

Dylan looked at Lorelai.

Christy asked, "Then what the hell are you wearing?"

"Not underwear," Lorelai replied.

Dylan was horrified at the thought. It was sort of like that one time he was going downstairs only to find a bra laying there on the stairs.

"Mom!" yelled Rory.

"It's kinda nice, actually," Lorelai said, smiling, "Breezy."

"My role model, ladies and gentlemen," Rory said to her siblings.

"How come you haven't run out yet?" asked Lorelai.

"I don't know," Rory said. "I guess I have more underwear than you."

"That's not true," Lorelai said. "You have less. I know Christy has been wearing slip shorts under her clothes."

"I'd rather not be a part of this conversation," Dylan muttered.

Lorelai asked Rory, "Have you three been doing laundry without me?"

"No," Rory replied.

Dylan and Christy looked at each other.

"Rory," Lorelai started.

"Okay, one load," Rory admitted.

"And you didn't even ask if I had stuff to throw in?" asked Lorelai.

"It was a big load," Rory said. "There wasn't any room."

"I'm crushed," Lorelai started.

"Here she goes," Christy muttered.

"I'm bleeding. Get me a tourniquet," Lorelai continued. "Oh, no, they're dirty 'cause Rory wouldn't wash them with her stuff."

"I'm sorry. I'll do another load tonight, I promise," Rory said.

"Or just smell your clothes and put on the least smelliest thing," Dylan told her.

"Like you?" Lorelai said, "I've seen you smell your clothes."

"You don't sweat that much," Dylan pointed out. "You can wear your clothes for another day."

"That's disgusting," Lorelai said. "I'll do my own laundry."

"Fine, even better," Rory said.

"I hate doing laundry," Lorelai said. "Maybe I'll just buy new underwear."

"Or smell them like Dylan," Christy joked.

"Or I can give you twenty bucks to do my laundry for me," Lorelai said.

"Hmm." Christy said, "You drive a hard bargain."

"Twenty," Lorelai said. "Take it or leave it."

"I'll take it," Christy replied.

When they walked in the diner, Doose was saying, "Every other store in town has fall decorations."

"Yeah, I'm out," Dylan said, turning and walking out of the diner. He went to the bus stop and sat down on the bench, throwing his backpack down at his feet.

"Jesus Christ, dude," Alex said. "Way to be violent towards your own shit."

Dylan wanted to laugh because if Alex thought that was violent, he should see Dylan's arms and all the lines he put on them. Dylan looked at Alex, "The fuck you want?"

"I just came by to say good morning," Alex said. "Apparently you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning."

"I guess you don't know me," Dylan replied. "All I do is wake up on the wrong side of the bed."

"I remember when you used to be happier," Alex replied. "And then one day you turned—" He motioned at Dylan, "Into that."

"Turned into what?" asked Dylan.

"I don't know," Alex motioned again, "This?"

"A guy who mood swings worse than his own sisters who are on their periods?" asked Dylan.

Alex looked disgusted, "Who the hell said that?"

"My mom," Dylan replied.

"Your mom's disgusting," Alex replied.

"Well, she's not wearing any underwear," Dylan said.

Alex looked bewildered, "How do you know that?"

"She told us because she didn't wash her laundry," Dylan said. "She paid Christy to do it."

Things got silent.

"I think this is the longest you've actually talked in months," Alex pointed out.

"Oh," Dylan replied.

"You used to talk a mile a minute," Alex continued. "What the hell happened? Why did you decide to practically become selectively mute?"

Dylan shrugged. People started looking at him like, 'why are you still talking? Shut up already.' It felt like his friends seemed like they stopped talking to him. And he started hating the sound of his own voice so if Dylan started hating his own voice, then it must've been grating to everyone else who heard it.

It was nice having Alex here, sitting next to him, like Alex actually cared about him...and not doing it because Jack told Alex to be nice to him.

"Jack's not here," Dylan told Alex flatly. "You don't have to pretend to be nice. It must be hard for you to act like you give a shit about me."

"Of course I care about you," Alex replied. "You're my friend."

Dylan laughed, "Okay, try to say that again but can you actually try to mean it this time?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?" asked Alex.

In a serious tone, Dylan said, "Because I hate myself so everyone probably hates me as well."

Alex looked at him, horrified, "What?"

Dylan forced a laugh, "I'm kidding."

Alex looked at him, "You're weird."

"I know I have many faults, I don't need you reminding me of them," Dylan stated.

"I never said that it was a bad thing," Alex replied.

"I know I have many faults, I don't need you reminding me of them," Dylan repeated, crossing his arms.

 Thankfully Rory and Christy came up to them, so Alex ended up taking off.

For some reason, in math class, Mrs. Maddox decided that a seating chart was in order and proceeded to have Dylan sit in front of her desk. To be fair, he wasn't the only one that had to sit in front of the desk, but it felt weird having Mrs. Maddox practically stare into his soul while he tried to do his math work.

Although, he was probably exaggerating because every time he looked over, the teacher was busy doing corrections on tests.

Dylan just shrugged it off.

After getting dropped off by the bus, Dylan and his sisters headed for the Market. Before Rory went in, she asked Dylan, "You want anything?"

It was almost always the same thing every day. Dylan usually said no, but he said, "I guess get me some chips." He added, "The—"

"I know what kind to get," Rory said, looking happy that he finally decided to get his favorite brand of chips (Cape Cod, lightly salted) again. She went inside the Market leaving him and Christy to stand awkwardly outside.

Christy always stood with him outside, because ever since Dylan got banned for life, it was just even more awkward having him stand there alone outside while Christy, Rory, and Lorelai went inside.

Dylan peered inside the Market, watching as Doose scowled at him. He clearly remembered the 'furry cardigan wearing gerbil' comment.

Dylan looked away at Christy, who was looking through her backpack. He wondered when the hell did things become so awkward between him and his sister?

Christy asked, "Does it bother you that Alex is always an ass to you?"

"He's a dick to everyone," Dylan replied. "I'm not that special."

"True, but he seems to be worse to you," Christy pointed out.

Dylan asked, "And your point?"

"Want me to yell at him for you?" asked Christy.

Okay, so Dylan had no problem with his sisters defending him. Once, when they were eight, they went to a store together. Some snot-nosed little boy had come over and started messing around and somehow ended up poking Christy in the eye and slapping Rory. Both girls started crying and Lorelai went to talk to the boy's mother about it.

The mother had replied with, "Boys will be boys. Why are you overreacting?" apparently not caring that her little brat had made two girls cry.

So, Dylan had gone over and kicked the boy onto the ground, to which that little snot started letting out this annoying cry that Christy and Rory had begun giggling at.

That mother had turned on Dylan and started to yell at him for hurting her son.

Dylan had looked her in the eye and said, "Boys will be boys. Why are you overreacting?"

Sure, afterwards, Lorelai had taken them to get ice cream and told Dylan that violence is never the answer...but sometimes it was and she was proud that Dylan defended his sisters.

So, in some way, it was like Christy and Rory had to return the favor.

"No," Dylan replied. "I think Jack already did that."

Christy seemed to pout, because Jack already beat her to it.

The door to the Market opened and they turned to see Rory running out of the Market. They watched as Rory ran across the street, causing a car to stop and honk the horn at her.

"Wow," Christy said. "She crossed the street like you."

Dylan was confused, "Like me?"

"Like you two have no family or friends left," Christy stated.

They turned to look through the Market windows, as if trying to find what caused Rory to run out of the store like that.

Christy headed for Luke's and it looked like Rory had apparently gone to Lane's place, so Dylan went home because it seemed like his bed was yelling for him.

When he walked in, he heard Lorelai call from the kitchen, "Which one walked in the door?"

"Child Number Three," Dylan replied as he headed for the kitchen.

"Oh, good," Lorelai said. "I need you to make a high-pitched kind of sound into the phone to Jerry." She spoke to Jerry, "No, I'm talking to my son, not you."

Dylan went over, trying to avoid stepping on the contents of the fridge that were on the floor.

Lorelai handed Dylan the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi," Jerry said. "What is going on with the fridge?"

Dylan was confused at the question, "It's making this really annoying high-pitched sound."

"What does it sound like?" asked Jerry.

"It's like an annoying, 'eeeeee' sound," Dylan said, trying to mimic the sound. Lorelai looked like she was trying hard not to laugh so Dylan glared at her.

"When did it start?" asked JErry.

"Last week, but it was lower and it was when we opened the door, but it makes the sound all the time now and it's higher pitched," Dylan replied.

Lorelai took the phone from Dylan, "I think it's really, uh, growing in confidence."

Rory came in, but she did unzip her backpack to hand over the bag of chips to Dylan.

"Okay, look, I've already told this to three other people so could you just please tell us what is wrong with this fridge?" asked Lorelai. "I'm not going to make the noise again or have my son do it again."

Dylan took the phone from Lorelai and asked, "Do you know what tinnitus is?"

"Yeah," replied Jerry.

"It sounds like that," Dylan replied. "So can you tell me and my mom why the fridge is making that sound or connect us to someone who can?"

"Okay, sure," Jerry replied. He must've called someone over.

"Hello," a different man said.

"Hi," Dylan replied.

"I'm Rusty," the man stated.

"Hi, Rusty," Dylan replied, feeling his patience sinking and he really didn't want to snap at him. "Here's my mom." He handed the phone off to Lorelai.

Lorelai took it, "Okay, what my son didn't say is that our fridge is making this weird sound. It's like a high-pitched – you know what tinnitus sounds like?" A pause, "Is Jerry still there?" A pause, "Okay, have him make the sound. He knows it."

Dylan went up to his room to put his stuff away and went back downstairs to see what was going on.

Rory was at the table and asked, 'So are they coming tomorrow?"

"Nope," Lorelai said. "Monday, between three and eight. I am completely useless." She looked at Dylan, "And I don't need any self-deprecating coming out of you, mister."

"Jeez, sorry," Dylan muttered.

"Oh my god," Lorelai said, looking at the mess scattered around. "It's a sty! Now I'm crabby. I'm crabby and useless."

"Sounds just like me," Dylan stated.

"What did I tell you about your self-deprecating comments?" Lorelai growled and said, "Stupid fridge!" She kicked the fridge. "Stupid fridge guys!" She kicked at something on the floor, "I hate my life."

"Oh, so that's where I got it from," Dylan commented.

Lorelai pointed at Dylan. "That's enough out of you." She grabbed the bottom bin from the floor and handed it to Dylan, "Here, Crabby and Useless Number Two. Help Crabby and Useless Number One put all this crap away."

Dylan went to help Lorelai put the stuff up.

Dylan sat at the counter in Luke's. It seemed like Lorelai was just staring out the window at Rory and Lane, across the street.

Luke walked up to him, holding a plate of nachos, "What's going on with you?"

"Dying internally," Dylan replied.

Luke said, "Well, you look like you're dying externally. Here," he slid the plate of nachos in front of Dylan, "Have some nachos."

Dylan wasn't hungry, but Luke was staring at him, making sure that he ate, so Dylan forced himself to stuff two chips in his mouth. He knew Luke would be even more disappointed in him if half of the food went to waste. Dylan knew that he had to force himself to eat, even though he knew that Luke was always disappointed in him and didn't like him.

Luke had gone over to talk to Miss Patty, before he went to Lorelai, "Coffee?" Lorelai didn't answer, "Aw, come on. Are you mad at me too? I mean, a man and his daughter can't choose whether or not he wants a picture of a fat, stupid bird on his wall? My god, that's the reason the damn pilgrims came here in the first place."

"Luke, I wasn't snubbing you," Lorelai said. "I didn't hear you and now I'm concerned about you."

"Sorry, just feeling a little persecuted lately," Luke said. "Coffee?"

While Lorelai and Luke talked, Dylan looked at Lydia. He didn't know her that well. She wore leggings with short-shorts and a shirt under a flannel shirt. Honestly, it would be so much easier to crush on Lydia.

He looked away before he got caught staring at her like a weird sicko.

The door opened and Dylan looked to see that it was Rory. Dylan took his plate and went to sit down at the table with Rory and Lorelai.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Rory told Lorelai.

"Oh, hey," Lorelai said. "Save your apologies for the Indians, missy."

"People are really in a giving mood today," Rory said. "The horn of plenty is packed."

Lorelai said, "That's great. Do you want some coffee?"

"Oh, no, I'll just have a sip of yours," Rory said, taking Lorelai's mug of coffee and taking a sip, "I have to get right back."

"Oh, really?" Lorelai said. "I thought we were having lunch today."

"I can't," Rory said. "We're one Pilgrim short. I only have a couple minutes." She started taking chips from Dylan's plate.

"Oh," Lorelai seemed disappointed, " You've been really busy lately."

"Yeah," Rory said. "I guess it's that end-of-the-year rush"

"I mean, we haven't even really talked in a couple of days," Lorelai pointed out.

"What do you want to talk about?" asked Rory.

"I don't know," Lorelai replied. "Anything."

"Okay." Rory looked like she was thinking of topics to discuss, "Did you read that article in the newspaper about the polar ice caps melting?"

"Yeah, yeah," Lorelai said in a flippant manner. "Ooh big deal."

"Fine," Rory said. "Dylan can pick the subject."

Dylan grunted, wanting to be left out of it.

"I'll take that as him skipping his turn," Lorelai said. "I was watching General Hospital the other day and you know, they have a new Lucky 'cause the old Lucky went to play something where he could have a real name. So the old Lucky had this girlfriend, Liz, who thought that he died in a fire. So then they bring on this new Lucky and you're all like 'okay, I know that's not the old Lucky because the new Lucky has way more hair gel issues,' but still, Liz was so upset about his supposed death that you could not wait to see them kiss, you know?"

Dylan was confused, "Since when did you start watching General Hospital?"

"When do you have time to watch General Hospital?" asked Rory.

"Okay, let's get back to the point," Lorelai said. "What do you think about the whole Liz/Lucky kissing thing?"

Rory said, "I think they're actors being paid to play a part so it's nice that they're living up to their obligations."

"And I think you're a little too invested in them kissing," added Dylan.

Lorelai hummed, "Rory—"

"Look, can we finish this very meaningful conversation later?" Rory said, "I promised Lane I'd get right back."

"Okay, I'll see you later," Lorelai said.

"Okay. Bye," Rory said, before taking.

"Bye," Lorelai said as Rory left the diner.

"Seriously, though," Dylan said. "Since when did you start watching General Hospital?"

"When I had that broken leg when you and your sisters were thirteen and none of you were around to change the channel for me," Lorelai explained.

"You couldn't reach five feet to grab the remote?" asked Dylan.

"You can't even stay awake for five hours," Lorelai retorted.

That actually stung, but it was true though.

"Look, Dylan," Lorelai started.

Luke came over to set the check down, "I'm not gonna say you look concerned, but I was going to say that I think you hurt Dylan's feelings about that comment you made."

"I was going to apologize before you interrupted me," Lorelai replied. "And now I'm not gonna talk about how good you'd look dressed like one of the guys from The Crucible."

"Fair enough," Luke stated, before walking away. 

Dylan asked, "Why are you freaking out over those two characters in General Hospital kissing anyway?"

Lorelai asked, "Were you or Christy going to tell me about Dean kissing Rory?"

Dylan was confused, "He kissed Rory?" He thought about it, "Makes sense why she ran out of the Market that day."

His first kiss was when he was seven. There was a field trip to some petting zoo and there was another school there. Some girl had decided that he was going to be her boyfriend and held his hand the entire time. When it was time for lunch, she had him sit on the ground a little away from their classmates 'for a picnic'. 

Then when it was time to leave, she straight up kissed him on the lips in full view of the teachers, Rory, and Christy, before she went to get on her school's bus...and the boys at school teased him for having cooties for an entire month. All he wanted to do was read and play soccer at that time.

He remembered Rory and Christy telling Lorelai about it. Lorelai found it cute and she wished she was there to see it. Dylan felt embarrassed by Lorelai making the situation out to be a bigger thing than it really was.

Funny how he never gave any thought about it 'til now.

Christy woke Dylan up because Lorelai had arranged a date for Rory and Dean...which was going to be held at their house.

Dylan didn't see why it was his problem. He could just stay hidden in his room, but Christy really didn't want to be down there alone with Rory and Dean, playing the third wheel.

So, Dylan had to get up and get downstairs to co-chaperone Rory and Dean's date.

Rory asked Lorelai, "What time did you tell him to get here?"

"Seven," Lorelai said.

"Maybe something happened," Rory said. "Maybe he's not coming."

"Maybe he's just late, Miss German train," Lorelai said. She got up from the couch and went to look out the window, "Oops." She seemed to frown, "Who is that girl with him?"

"What?" Rory got up and went to look out the window. "Oh, that's Caroline."

Dylan went over to look, peering over Rory's shoulder.

Rory snickered and shoved Dylan away from her, "Your hair is tickling my face."

"Well, sorry," Dylan muttered.

"I can't believe that they got Dean." Rory added, "...and Caroline."

"Wait here," Lorelai said, going to the door to go collect the two teens.

Eventually Dean and Caroline awkwardly walked inside the house.

"I'm sorry I'm late," Dean said. "I got here like a half hour ago. This girl just randomly showed up like ten minutes ago." He thumbed at Caroline.

Caroline scoffed at him, "I told you my name is Caroline."

"We believe you," Rory told them.

"We'd believe you if you said you got here three hours ago," Lorelai said.

Caroline was peering around the house. She was smiling slightly, because it was obvious that people lived here.

"Is that a triplet thing or did you plan this out?" Dean asked, referring to how Rory and Christy were wearing red sweaters and Dylan wearing a red shirt with black sleeves, and dark jeans.

Dylan looked at his sisters.

"Aw man, we're syncing up again," Christy said.

Lorelai asked, "So, Caroline, what brought you here?"

"I didn't want to be alone since my parents took off for the weekend," Caroline said.

Lorelai asked, "Well, do you both like it here in Stars Hollow?"

"I like it," Dean said. "It's quiet, but nice. I like all the trees everywhere."

Dylan was confused. Dean liked the trees?

"I really like the small-town thing," Caroline told Lorelai. "Everyone here is so friendly."

"Yeah, the friendliness and trees are something," Lorelai said. "When Rory was little, she found out that one was called a Weeping Willow so she spent hours trying to cheer it up. You know, like telling it jokes and – no, I'm sorry that was Christy. It's kind of hard to tell them apart from the back. From the front, you could tell the difference because of their eyes. Have you met Dylan?"

"Yeah, I met Dylan," Dean replied, looking at Dylan.

Dylan remembered Dean that one day when Dean had been jealous over him, before Dean found out that Dylan was Rory's brother.

"Would you both like a tour of the house?" asked Lorelai.

"Sure," Caroline said.

"Okay," Dean replied.

"Okay," Lorelai said. "So, this is the living room where we do our living and, um, upstairs is my room, Dylan's room, and the good bathroom."

Caroline seemed confused at the 'good bathroom' comment.

"And the kitchen is right through here," Lorelai. "You two ever heard a fridge yodel before?" She set some pictures down, like the baby photo showing their bare butts.

Caroline seemed confused, "A yodeling fridge?" She and Dean went into the kitchen.

Lorelai and Rory had a whispered conversation, before Rory went into the kitchen with Christy following.

Lorelai grabbed Dylan's arm and whispered, "Why did you invite Caroline here?"

"I didn't," Dylan whispered back. "I didn't even know she was showing up."

Lorelai went into the kitchen, "Well, you have your basics: microwave for popcorn, stove for storing shoes, refrigerator, which is completely worthless."

"Unless we have people pay to hear it yodel," Christy said.

"Interesting," Dean said.

The doorbell rang.

"Oh, I'll get that," Lorelai said. "Rory, you take over as tour guide. Make sure you show him and Caroline the emergency exits."

"Sorry about our mother," Christy told them.

"She's got energy," Dean said.

"Yeah, well, she's ninety percent water, ten percent caffeine," Rory replied.

"More like ninety-nine percent caffeine and one percent water," Christy said.

"So, what's in there?" asked Dean, looking at Rory and Christy's bedroom door.

"Um, that's my and Christy's room," Rory said.

"Really?" Dean asked, "Can I see it?"

Caroline gave Dean a very strange look.

"No," Christy said, confused.

Rory allowed Dean to go into the room anyway.

Dylan went to the living room where Lorelai was letting Sookie out.

Rory allowed Dean to go into the room anyway.

Dylan went to the living room where Lorelai and Sookie were.

"Oh, Dylan," Sookie said. "How are you? Cory is worried about you."

It took a few seconds for Dylan to remember that Coriander was Jack's actual first name and that Sookie called Jack Cory. Dylan said, "I'm fine."

Sookie started, "Are you sure, because Cory—"

"Now you're using my son as an excuse to stall," Lorelai said.

"Am I?" asked Sookie.

Lorelai admonished, "Sookie." She opened the door but the pizza delivery man, Joe, came into the house, holding two boxes of pizza.

"Hey, Lorelai," Joe greeted. He looked at Dylan, "Dylan."

"Joe," replied Dylan. Joe always struck Dylan as a stoner.

"Hey, Joe," Lorelai said. "What do I owe ya?"

"Thirty even," Joe said as Sookie took the pizza boxes away from him.

"Okay," Lorelai said.

Dylan took the display case from Lorelai as she dug around for money.

Lorelai asked Joe, "How are you doing?"

"Awesome," Joe said as Dylan watched Sookie sniff the pizza.

"What did you get on your pizza?" asked Sookie as Dylan watched Joe leave. "Did you ask for extra sauce? Because I always ask for extra sauce because sometimes—"

"Sookie," Lorelai interrupted. "Rory's already freaked out that I invited Dean here. If she thinks I'm parading him around in front of all my friends, she'll kill me."

Sookie started, "But I just—"

"Death," Lorelai said. "Bloody and slow, okay?"

"Mom, is that the pizza?" yelled Rory.

"Yeah," Lorelai called back. To Sookie, she whispered, "Okay, bye. Now go."

Soookie started, "But I just wanted—"

"No," Lorelai said. "Bye."

"Bye-bye," Sookie said, leaving, taking the pizza with her.

Caroline, Rory, Dean, and Christy came into the living room.

"So are you hungry?" asked Lorelai.

"Starving," Dean said.

Christy was confused, "Did you eat the pizza or something?"

Lorelai started, "No, the pizza's, uh—"

"Pizza!" yelled Sookie from outside. She walked inside the house, "Just bringing in the pizza." She looked at Dean and Caroline, "Hi, I'm Sookie. I'm a friend of Lorelai's. My son, Cory, you might know him as Jack, is a friend of Dylan's."

Dean looked like he didn't like Sookie. However, Caroline seemed amused by Sookie.

"But you do look like a Dean," Sookie said. "Doesn't he look like a Dean?"

Caroline seemed even more amused, "What do I look like? Do I look like a Caroline?"

Sookie seemed to think about it, "I'm not sure."

"Of all the people in this room, he looks most like a Dean and Caroline over there looks like an unknown person," Lorelai said. "Bye Sookie. Have fun!"

Caroline seemed to deflate at 'unknown person' and Sookie passed the pizzas to Rory

"Okay," Sookie said and took off.

"Here, um, I'll take that," Dean said, taking the pizzas from Rory.

"Oh, thanks," Lorelai said. "Great. The coffee table's fine."

Christy led Caroline and Dean to the coffee table.

"I did not invite her here," Lorelai whispered to Rory.

Rory whispered back, "Why didn't you just set up a camera and broadcast it all over the internet?"

"Because I don't think that big," Lorelai whispered back.

"She honestly didn't invite Sookie here," Dylan told Rory.

They headed back to the living room.

"Thank god there's good pizza here," Dean told them.

"Oh, yeah," Lorelai said. "Now we didn't know what kind you liked so we just got everything."

"Everything is fine," Dean said.

"Even anchovies?" asked Christy.

"Except that," Dean replied, looking at the pizza curiously.

"Don't worry, we didn't order anchovies," Lorelai said.

"Don't worry, we didn't order anchovies," Lorelai said as Dean passed out napkins. "Good, well, while it's hot."

Caroline seemed confused as everyone grabbed some slices of pizza to eat in the living room.

"Everything wrong over there Sweet Caroline?" asked Lorelai.

"I never ate food in the living room before," Caroline replied. "I never had pizza before either."

"Well, there's a first for everything," Lorelai told her. "Don't worry if you get grease on the carpet. I'm sure Dylan will just have another random deep cleaning episode again."

"You all need to learn how to be enthusiastic over cleaning like I was," Dylan grumbled.

They eventually moved to the floor. Caroline didn't seem happy to be sitting next to Dean but she did seem deeply enthralled by Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

On the TV, Willy Wonka was saying, "Remember, no messing about, no touching, no tasting, no—"

"Who needs more?" asked Lorelai, referring to the pizza.

"I do," Rory said, reaching for a slice of pizza.

Christy did too, having to reach around Caroline to get to the pizza.

"Wow," Dean said, impressed. "You two can eat."

Caroline looked at Dean confused.

"Yes we can," Rory said. She frowned, "Oh, that's bad, isn't it?"

"No, uh, most girls don't eat," Dean said, "It's good you and your sister eat."

"I'm all for it," Lorelai replied.

"Let's talk about something besides my and Christy's eating habits, shall we?" asked Rory.

"Ooh, Oompa Loompas!" said Lorelai, getting excited

"Our mom has a thing for the Oompa Loompas," Rory said to Dean and Caroline.

"I don't think finding them amusing constitutes a thing," Lorelai said.

"No, but having a recurring dream about marrying one does," Rory said.

"Don't even get me started on your Prince Charming crush, okay?" Lorelai said, "At least my obsessions are alive. You have a thing for a cartoon."

"Ooh, Prince Charming, huh?" asked Dean.

"It was a long time ago," Rory said. "And not the Cinderella one, the Sleeping Beauty one."

"'Cause he could dance," Dean said.

"Yeah," Rory replied. She and Lorelai gave Dean a weird look, because apparently guys aren't supposed to know princess movies, apparently.

"I've got sisters," Dean defended himself.

"So, come on, Dean, Caroline," Lorelai said. "Tell us some of your embarrassing secrets."

"Well, I have no embarrassing secrets," Dean said.

That sounded like a load of crap to Dylan.

"Oh, please," Lorelai said, apparently thinking along the same lines as Dylan.

"I bet I know one," Rory said.

"What?" asked Dean.

"The theme from Ice Castles makes you cry," Rory said.

"Oh, that's a good one," Lorelai replied.

"That's not true," Dean said.

"Oh I've got one," Lorelai said. "At the end of The Way We Were you wanted Robert Redford to dump his wife and kid for Barbra Streisand," Lorelai said.

"I've never seen The Way We Were," Dean said.

Dylan rolled his eyes, "When you saw The Bumblebee Flies Anyway, you were honestly confused over who you were more jealous of when Rachel Leigh Cook and Elijah Wood kissed."

Dean sputtered, "No!" However the tone he used let Dylan know he was correct.

Rory started snickering, "Really?"

"Wow," Lorelai replied. "How did you guess that, Dylan?"

Dylan shrugged, "Lucky guess." He knew that, because even he felt confused over which one he was jealous of, then he got a little bit bothered by the fact that Elijah Wood looked like Rory and Lorelai and that was the end of that crush on the guy. He wasn't going to tell them that.

"Okay, your turn, Caroline," Lorelai said. "Dylan already sniffed out Dean's secret, somehow."

"He didn't," Dean defended himself.

"Denying it is making it worse," Christy replied.

"Fine, yes, he's right, happy?" replied Dean, though he didn't sound happy.

"Caroline?" prompted Lorelai.

"Neve Campbell made me sort of question my sexuality a little," Caroline said, clearly lying somewhat. "I saw her in Wild Things." Dylan really knew that movie was Caroline's sexual awakening.

"Wait, what about Dylan and Christy?" asked Dean. "We know about Rory's crush on Prince Charming."

"Beetlejuice did me in," Christy said.

"Michael Keaton?" asked Dean.

"No, the character," Christy said.

"Wendy Peffercorn from The Sandlot," Dylan stated.

"I'll get the popcorn," Lorelai said.

"Bring in the spray cheese," Rory said.

"I really like this Willy Wonka guy," Caroline said. She was grinning evilly. "If those adults weren't around, he would've let those snot-nosed brats die." She chuckled.

Dean tried to discreetly move a little ways away from Caroline and into Rory.