A/N: Title is borrowed from a Dropkick Murphy's song called H.B.D.M.F., which goes, "Throw yourself a big old party (yeah), Rent yourself a big old hall, Send out invitations to your, Shitty birthday ball."

Dylan had managed to get out of the Friday night dinner by attending the gig at the nightclub. He was sure that they did very well, but he was sure that most of it had to do with the fact that at least 98% of the audience was drunk or high or both.

The nightclub owner had liked them so much, he wanted them to come back on Fridays, so they had that going for them.

The problem was that Dylan had Friday Night Dinners to attend and so they had to move the gigs to Saturday nights, which was fine with Dylan.

So after a Friday Night Dinner, Lorelai, Rory, and Christy took off to go put post-it on things they wanted Emily and Richard to leave in their wills once they passed on.

Dylan chose to sit at the table and mess with his pudding.

Emily, however, noticed Dylan, sitting at the table because Richard had gone to his office.

"You're allowed to put post-its on the things you want, you know," Emily told him.

"I know," Dylan replied. "I just don't see the point because Rory and Christy are going to get the things I want, and if I pick something out, they'll look at me all hurt and then I feel guilty about it because I'm hurting my sisters, so I have to let them take what I want. And now I'm complaining about something I shouldn't. It's like the movie thing."

Emily asked, "What movie thing?"

"We have movie nights," Dylan said. "Whatever I want to watch, they usually 'vote me off the island' because they don't want to watch what I do. And even if I do watch what I want, they usually talk through the movie. It got to the point that I don't pick anything out anymore."

"It's okay to vent," Emily told him. "You're allowed to talk about what's bothering you."

"I did tell Mom once, but she told me that I'm not being fair because we take a vote and it's not their fault that they don't want to watch what I want to," Dylan admitted. "I mean, they do every now and then, but they just mostly talk right through it."

"If you want, you can get the movies you want to watch and watch them here," Emily told him.

Dylan was confused, "Really?"

"Yeah, it's no problem," Emily told him.

Eventually, it was time to leave, and Emily had to talk to Lorelai in private. Dylan hoped that Emily wouldn't bring up the whole 'unfairness over the movies'.

When they got in the jeep, Lorelai asked them, "So, how would you like two parties this year?"

"You couldn't get her to cave," Rory accused.

"No, but she did agree to make the string quartet learn Like A Virgin," Lorelai told them.

"At least you can say you tried," Christy said.

"Guys, I promise, Saturday night we'll do it up right at home," Lorelai said. "A Stars Hollow extravaganza."

Rory asked, "So, is this party Grandma's having going to be a big deal?"

"Not really." Lorelai said, "The government will close that day. Flags will fly at half-mast. Barbra Streisand will give her final concert...again."

"Right," Christy said.

Lorelai continued her spiel, "Now, the Pope has previous plans, but he's trying to get out of them. However, Elvis and Jim Morrison are coming and they're bringing chips."

Rory said, "You ask a simple question..."

Later when they got home, Dylan went upstairs, but Lorelai followed.

Lorelai said, "What is this about complaining to Emily?"

Oh god...

"I wasn't complaining," Dylan defended himself.

Lorelai tried, "Yeah, but what is this whole thing about us not letting you watch movies or your sisters not allowing you to get what you want because they have to have it? We have a voting system here and it's not our fault that it happens to tip on one side rather than the other. And we do watch what you want sometimes."

Dylan was annoyed because that was the exact reasoning he didn't complain about anything. "It's nothing. I was just being over dramatic like usual."

"This self-depreciation thing you got going on is getting really old," Lorelai told him, before leaving his room.

"How does it feel getting old?" asked Alex.

Dylan chuckled rather darkly, "I don't plan on getting old."

"Well, you can't stay young forever," Ricky replied, looking a little weirded out by the thought.

"Yes I can," Dylan replied.

Mai asked, "How are you going to do that?"

"Simply by ignoring it," Dylan replied. "Getting old is inevitable. Sort of like how Alex going to prison is inevitable."

Alex asked, "Does it hurt thinking that you're clever?"

Dylan asked, "Does it hurt to be nice for once?"

"I am being nice," Alex said. "I just don't say what really goes through my mind. Apparently, I haven't driven you away, yet."

"How about I drive my foot up your dick hole?" replied Dylan.

It was silent for a moment before Alex said, "Yeah, I got no comeback to that one."

It would've been a proud moment that Dylan finally got one over Alex, but it felt a bit hollow.

It wasn't a surprise that Alex wanted him gone, though. It made it real that Alex really didn't think of him as a friend.

Dylan glanced at Mai, Ricky, Cecilia, and Jack. If Alex didn't count him as a friend, the others probably didn't either.

I am a loser. I have no friends. I'm gonna die alone, Dylan thought, feeling anxious. He should just go home.

At school, Dylan noticed that Caroline seemed a bit...sad.

Dylan asked, "What's going on with you?"

"It's just that people forgot my birthday is coming up," Caroline replied.

Dylan asked, "Oh, when's your birthday?"

"The same days as yours and your sisters," Caroline said, holding up an invitation for Dylan to read.

Well, he would've read it, but he noticed that Caroline had a Band-Aid on the inside of her wrist. "What happened there?"

"I got scratched by this stray cat I feed," Caroline said. "I was trying to give him food, but I guess he thought I was going to pet him, so he scratched me."

Dylan was confused, "How were you feeding this cat to where he scratched the inside of your wrist?" Caroline looked at him, "Okay. Never mind." He really didn't want to lose Caroline as a friend because she was the only friend he had. And she always sought him out instead of the other way around.

"So, what do you want for your birthday?" Caroline asked. "What do your sisters like?"

Dylan looked at the invitation, feeling a bit horrified at it: it was white and lacey, the student body now knows that he was born at 6:13 in the goddamn morning, and they also know that his middle name was Isasiah.

"Have you ever asked your parents if they realized your initials spelt 'DIG?'" asked Caroline.

"I blame the fact that they were teenagers, and my mom was on Demerol so she probably found it funny," Dylan replied.

"That explains why she looks so young," Caroline replied, looking impressed. "But you didn't answer my question. What do you and your sisters want for your birthday?"

Dylan tried to go to the nearest store after getting off the bus so he could find a present for Caroline, but Christy grabbed his arm and dragged him to Luke's, probably assuming he was heading home.

So, they entered the diner together and went to a table together. Lorelai followed after them, saying, "Wow. Nice faces you got on there. You two trying to match Dylan on the Mopiest Person on Planet Earth?"

Dylan looked at Lorelai.

"Coffee," Rory said in response to Lorelai.

"Bad day?" asked Lorelai.

"I've now used the word sucks so much that it's lost all meaning to me," Rory said.

"It doesn't even sound like a word to me," Christy added.

Dylan stayed silent.

"Well, maybe this will cheer you two and Moaning Myrtle over there up," Lorelai said.

Dylan glared at Lorelai as she held up the garment bag.

Rory asked, "What?"

"You'll see," Lorelai said, as she unzipped the garment bag. She took out some hideous green tulle.

Christy looked disgusted, "My god, what is that?"

"These are our party dresses," Lorelai replied.

"I don't think I'll look good in a dress," Dylan deadpanned.

"Maybe if it's a Halloween party," Christy said. She looked excitedly at Lorelai, "Are we having a Halloween party?"

"Listen, you three," Lorelai started. "So I'm shopping today with your grandmother and it's a whole three hours of, 'who are you buying that for, Mom. Have you met the triplets?' and then finally I talked and she listened and she wound up getting you three things I think you're really going to like."

Dylan doubted that, but he chose not to say anything.

"Really?" asked Rory.

"Yes, really," Lorelai replied. "And of course she insisted on buying you, Christy, and me these dresses, but I think I can do something with them to make them better."

"Wow," Rory replied. "We've never seen you so cheery after spending time with Grandma."

"Well, it's been a long time since we got together and didn't end up fighting," Lorelai said.

Dylan doubted that. There were some Friday Night Dinners that didn't have Lorelai and Emily trying to go for each other's throats.

"It was refreshing," Lorelai continued. "It wasn't exactly fun but I didn't get that shooting pain in my eye like I usually do."

"Wow, that's great," Rory said.

"Yeah," Lorelai replied.

Luke came over with a pot of coffee, "So I hear you three are having a party Saturday."

"Yeah," Rory replied. "Mom's famous for her blowouts."

"The best one was their eighth birthday," Lorelai said.

"Oh, yeah," Rory said. "That was good."

Luke seemed confused, "The cops shut down three eight-year-old kids' birthday party?"

"And arrested the clown," Rory said.

"After Dylan bit him," Christy added.

"I think the clown lost part of his arm," Dylan told Luke.

"I don't want to hear any more of this," Luke said and walked away.

The clown had looked Dylan dead in the eye and popped two balloons with a safety pin or something.

It was supposed to be a game, where Dylan had to answer questions truthfully, "Do you love me?" "No." was the first question and first balloon that he popped. "Does your family care about you?" "Yes." Pop.

Dylan was sure that was the catalyst because he was pulling all-nighters at the time for some reason. Then he just attacked the clown.

And because of that clown, Dylan now had an irrational fear of balloons popping. In the fifth grade, there was Game Day, and there was a 'game' where they had to get balloons and run to the other fence and sit on them to make them pop. That made his irrational fear worse.

"So, now tell me, why are you three being Lemonheads today?" asked Lorelai.

"Nothing," Rory said. "I-I'm fine. I just got an A- on a French test that I should have gotten an A on."

"Oh, honey, an A- is awesome," Lorelai told her.

"Yeah, it's - it's fine," Rory said.

Lorelai looked at Christy and Dylan, "What about you two?"

"I'm always crabby," was Dylan's excuse. Lorelai didn't push, because she knew it was true.

"Dugray won't leave me alone," Christy told Lorelai.

"Let me see," Lorelai told Christy and Rory, "Maybe we should really embrace the whole tulle thing. Go totally modern Cinderella. What do you think? It's your birthday."

"Yeah," Rory said. "Lucky us."

The good thing about being born at 6:13 was that Dylan didn't have Lorelai, Rory, and Christy piling into his bed, just so Lorelai can tell him the story about his birth, like what she does with Rory and Christy. They just sandwich him while Lorelai tells him about his birth, packing in tightly like they were the human version of a tin of sardines.

Then Lorelai took off to head to the inn and Dylan managed to get away from his sisters so he could buy something for Caroline and dread the stupid birthday party in Hartford.

Well, it wasn't a party so much as a ball. It was a birthday ball, and it was for his sisters more than it was for him.

There were a few times he wondered what it would be like if he had been born, say Daniella, instead of Dylan. How would his life be different? Would he have been born normal and not have this imbalance in his brain? Would his parents and grandparents actually love him if he had been born female?

He knew he shouldn't dwell on it. He also knew that his parents and grandparents weren't the cause of whatever was going on with him. It was all him. Whatever he did to cause it, he had to figure out a way to fix it, so he can go back to feeling like how he used to – not the whole 'everything little thing will inevitably piss you off' crap.

He found some jacket that he was pretty sure that Caroline would probably wear once and probably throw away later. 

After he got the bag and crammed it into a backpack, he went to Luke's because Christy would track him down and drag him to the diner.

Dylan went to the counter while Christy talked to Lydia and Rory talked to Lane at a table.

Luke looked at Dylan and smiled, "Oh, happy birthday."

He really doesn't care, Dylan's mind sneered at him. Dylan forced a smile, "Thanks."

"You ready to order yet?" asked Luke.

"Not yet," Dylan replied.

A couple came in and sat at the counter next to Dylan.

There was a woman in an obnoxiously pink pull-over sweater that Dylan felt his eye twitch at the sight.

After looking over the menus for a moment, Luke asked the couple, "Are you two ready to order yet?"

"Yeah, can I get the ham and cheese omelet?" the man asked.

"Come on, babe, you always order the same thing," pink sweater woman said. "Why don't you try something else?"

"'Cause I don't want to order something else," the man replied.

"It'll be fun if we both tried something new together," pink sweater woman replied.

"It'll be fun if you shut your mouth," the man replied.

Dylan thought it'd be so much more fun if they both shut the hell up.

"Oh," pink sweater woman said, offended. "Oh, so we're going there?"

"You started it," the man retorted.

Dylan and Luke looked at each other.

"You want to go there? We'll go there," pink sweater woman said. "You never want to do anything different. You always eat the same food. You always watch the same TV shows. You always wear the same shirt. You always fuck me in the same positions."

Good to know, Dylan thought.

"Because not having to look at your face kind of turns me on a little bit," the man stated.

Good to know, Dylan thought, a little disgusted.

"Guess what?" the pink sweater woman said, "I faked all my orgasms."

Fascinating, Dylan thought, bored.

"Well so did I," the man countered.

"You know, I'd rather fuck this guy that's sitting next to me," the pink sweater woman said, pointing at Dylan.

"I'm sixteen," Dylan deadpanned.

The woman paused before continuing, "I'd rather fuck this guy than look at your stupid face for another ten seconds."

"Oh, so you're lowering your standards now?" the man said.

"Yeah, but at least he's somewhat attractive and probably has a part-time job, but at least he looks like he knows how to have a good time, which is more than what I can say about you," the woman told her boyfriend.

Dylan almost laughed, somewhat attractive? Bitch, I know I'm ugly.

"At least all your meals can pay for themselves," the man said. "Oh wait, that was me."

"I hate you," pink sweater woman said.

"I hate you more," her boyfriend replied.

"Are you two ready to order yet?" asked Luke.

"I'll get the eggs benedict," the man told Luke.

"Babe, you always order the ham and cheese omelet," the woman said.

"I wanted to try something different," the man said.

"Oh my god I love you so much," the woman told her boyfriend.

After Luke took their orders, he went to Dylan, and whispered, "Word of advice, never get into a relationship like that."

I'm going to be in the grave before I start dating, Dylan thought. He nodded and instead said, "Yeah, noted."

Caroline hugged him after he gave her the crushed-up bag with the jacket in it. She took out the jacket and smiled so widely that Dylan was slightly confused over the fact that someone was so happy over something so insignificant, then Caroline hugged him.

Dylan was surprised by it, because he couldn't even remember the last time someone hugged him. So, he awkwardly hugged her back.

Then at lunch, word spread that someone had caught them making out, and Caroline told him to embrace the rumor and now she was his (fake) girlfriend now, because it was better than their fellow classmates sniffing out the fact that they liked the same gender. 

After getting dropped off at the bus stop in Stars Hollow, they only had enough time to drop off their bags, grab Lorelai, and head back to Hartford.

Since Dylan didn't have anything to change into, he just chucked off the blazer and tie, so, he was somewhat presentable.

A maid let them in, and they headed for the sitting room.

There was a group of people, organizing things.

"Jeez, Mom," Lorelai said. "Leave some servants for the rest of the neighborhood."

Emily turned and smiled, "There they are – the birthday kids."

Rory smiled, "Hi Grandma."

Lorelai said, "Wow, you really went all out, huh?"

"Well, I wanted everything to be perfect," Emily replied. "What do you think?"

"I think Edith Wharton would have been proud, and busy taking notes," Lorelai said. She handed the garment bags to Rory and Christy, "Here, go change."

Christy and Rory took the garment bags.

"Okay," Rory said. She and Christy took off.

Emily called to them, "Hurry!"

Lorelai took off her coat and a man grabbed it. "Oh."

"What is that?" asked Emily, looking at Lorelai's dress.

"Oh, that's my dress," Lorelai said.

"Where's the one I bought you?" asked Emily.

"This is it," Lorelai replied.

"I thought there was more of it," Emily pointed out.

"Gee, Mom, the place looks great," Lorelai said.

"Did you turn Rory's into a hat and Christy's into a matching purse?" asked Emily.

Smirking, Lorelai said, "Nice candles. Six inches apart?" She walked away.

Emily turned to look at the candles, as if wondering if it really was noticeable that it was six inches apart.

Dylan never wanted to stab himself in the ears until he did now.

Lorelai came over to them, sitting down on the couch. "Here," she passed them some drinks.

Dylan looked at his drink, "What did you give us?"

"Shirley Temples," Lorelai replied.

Christy asked Lorelai, "What do you have?"

"A Shirley Temple Black," Lorelai said. She held the glass out so they could sniff them.

"My god," Dylan replied.

"I got your Good Ship Lollipop right here, mister," Lorelai said. "So, do you three want something to eat?"

"Everything smells funny," Rory said.

"That's rich people food for ya," Christy said.

"Maybe you're smelling the actual rich people," Dylan added. He had walked by a man and got a whiff of rich person cologne. It made his eyes water.

Emily came up to them, "There you are." She took Rory's wrist, "Come, there's some people I want you three to meet."

Dylan wondered what was so interesting about him, but he followed after his sisters anyway.

Emily led them to Richard and some businessmen, but she turned to walk away.

"Hi, Grandpa," Rory greeted.

"Rory, Christy, Dylan," Richard said. To his business associates, he said, "Gentlemen, these are my grandkids: Rory, Christy, Dylan."

"Happy birthday," a man said, reaching into his suit, and taking out some envelopes to hand to the three of them.

Dylan looked at his envelope, wondering what was in it. The other businesspeople handed them envelopes too. "Thanks?"

"I think we should get Dennis on the phone right now," a man said.

"Fine, I've got a phone in my office," Richard said.

They took off.

Dylan was going to open an envelope.

"There's a whole group of your school friends in the library," Emily said, coming up behind them. "Let's go say hello to them."

They went to the library where there were kids from Chilton standing around looking bored out of their skulls, even Caroline looked bored.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Rory told Emily.

"Just say hello first," Emily said. "Come on." She took the envelopes from them, "I'll hold those for you."

"Who are they?" asked one kid.

"I know he's Dylan because he's in my math class and it's his party," another kid said. "I think those are his sisters."

"Oh," the kid who asked about them, replied.

Dylan looked at his classmate from math. "Uh, Matteo right?"

The guy nodded, "Yeah."

"Sorry my grandmother invited you here. We didn't know she was going to do it," Dylan said.

"Paris?" asked Rory.

Dylan turned to see Paris there. She told Rory, "My parents made me come."

"Oh god," Rory replied, looking disgusted.

"Otherwise I wouldn't be here," Paris continued, "You believe me, don't you?"

Rory turned to walk away, but Dugray sauntered over to her.

Caroline came over to him while Christy talked to others, probably apologizing for them getting invited to this party.

Dylan asked Caroline, "What do people do at these types of parties?"

"Talk to each other. See who's ballsy enough to break into the liquor cabinet or go down into a wine cellar," Caroline replied.

Richard came over to them, "Dylan, who's your friend?"

"Actually I'm his girlfriend," Caroline said to Richard. "I'm Caroline."

Richard smiled widely at that.

Dylan figured that since once his dream of being in a metal band crashed and burned, he had the future prospect of being Caroline's husband. He would've said 'trophy husband' but he wasn't exactly a prize to look at.

Richard walked away.

Dylan looked at Caroline, "Why did you tell him that?"

"Word would've reached them eventually," Caroline defended herself.

"Yeah, I guess," Dylan replied.

Rory took off. Dylan watched as Dugray hounded Christy. For a weird odd moment, Dylan noticed that Dugray's suit had some kind of grid pattern on it. Then Dylan thought, I should find a maker and play Tic-Tac-Toe on his suit.

"No, it's because if I left a can of Coke out for a month, it still wouldn't be as flat as your personality," Christy told Dugray before storming off.

Dylan sighed, "I'll see what happened." He went to follow after his sisters. 

He found Christy and Rory, but Emily spotted them.

"Oh, there you three are!" Emily said, "I think it's time that you said a few words to your guests."

"What?" asked Rory.

"Just a little speech to say thank you and tell everyone how it feels to be one year older," Emily explained.

"Mom," Lorelai started, "I don't they want—"

"They're the hosts, Lorelai," Emily cut in. "This is their responsibility."

"I am not the hostess," Rory said. "You are!"

"Hey, honey, hold on," Lorelai tried.

"This is your party and these are your guests and I don't have anything to say to them, so you give the speech," Rory snapped.

"Rory," Emily admonished.

"Excuse me," Rory said, before storming off. Christy went after her.

"I'll give the speech," Dylan told Emily. He didn't have any self-esteem, but he did have some pride.

Lorelai told Dylan, "You don't have—"

"I said I'll give the speech," Dylan interrupted.

Emily smiled, "At least your son has manners." She took him by the shoulders and led him back to the library.

Dylan almost laughed, because he was the rudest, politest person. He would hold the door open for someone and think, 'Hurry the fuck up, you stupid ass bitch. I don't have all fucking day.' And then when tries to pull on a door and someone tells him to push, he smiles and thinks, 'Thanks, asshole, my next idea was to start lifting the fucking thing.'

As soon as he stepped inside the library, Dylan instantly regretted his decision on giving the stupid birthday speech. It felt like they were instantly judging him. He hated public speaking. Yeah, he can sing to a crowd of like thirteen drunk people, but those people were drunk and clearly weren't judging him, but these people were sober and clearly thinking, Who is that? Oh, it's that loser who has no friends besides his sisters.

"Everybody, Dylan has a few words to say to you," Emily announced.

They seemed to judge him more harshly.

Dylan needed to push past it and forced a smile, "Thank you for coming, even though you all clearly don't want to be here because your parents forced you to come."

Emily looked extremely disappointed at that, which was nothing new really.

Rory, Christy, and Dylan went to the career fair, because Rory wanted to get a new Harvard brochure to see if the 'pictures changed'. Christy went to see what colleges to go to and Dylan went because Lorelai was tired of him being in his 'cave' and wanted him to get 'fresh air'.

They stopped by the Harvard table and Rory asked, "New brochure?"

"Yes," the Harvard representative replied, handing over the brochure.

Paris came up to them, "What are you three doing here?"

"My mom told me to get out of my cave," Dylan stated.

Paris gave Dylan a strange look.

"And there's a college fair going on," Rory said.

Paris said, "No, I mean, what are you three doing here?" She motioned to the Harvard table.

"I'm getting a new brochure," Rory said.

"Why?" asked Paris.

"Because they're not selling pizza," Rory said.

Dylan took off because he wanted to sit down. Why did his mom send him out? He didn't want to be here.

Dylan forgot that Sookie was supposed to 'cater' the party, which meant that Jack was also invited, because Dylan didn't bother telling the others about the second party, because he was sure that they didn't really give a damn.

Thankfully the gig at that club ended up being called off because Dylan had dreaded it, so it being called off made him feel better.

Miss Patty came over to where Rory was sitting on the floor with Christy. Dylan was on the couch, with Jack.

"Happy birthday, you three," Miss Patty said to Rory, Christy, and Dylan. She passed them a small present.

Lorelai handed Dylan a white rectangular box before she tapped the gold and silver boxes that were in front of Christy and Rory, "Open it, open it, open it."

Rory and Christy both opened their boxes. It looked like Rory had gotten a blue iBook and Christy had gotten an orange iBook. Dylan got a measly dark blue denim vest, that he forced a smile at.

"No!" exclaimed Rory.

Dylan was thinking the same thing but he wasn't excited at his gift like his sisters were.

"You like them?" Lorelai said, "You can take it back."

"No! I love it!" Rory said. "It's perfect."

"They're blue and orange and they have a handle," Lorelai said, smiling widely, clearly glad at getting them such an expensive gift.

"This is way too expensive," Christy told Lorelai.

"I know," Lorelai said. "That's what I told the guy at the store."

"Okay!" Sookie said, coming out, holding a cake that had a picture of Dylan, Rory, and Christy on it from when they were younger on it. "On three, 'cause I'm gonna drop it. Okay, one two—" she set the cake down in front of Rory and Christy.

Everyone started singing 'happy birthday' to them while Dylan awkwardly looked at his sisters.

"Make a wish," Lorelai said.

Dylan allowed Christy and Rory to blow out the candles while everyone, except Jack cheered.

"All right, everybody, I need your attention, your attention please," Lorelai called out. "This is a very serious moment. Two priests, a rabbi, and a duck—"

"Oh my god," muttered Dylan. He wanted this evening to be over with.

"Mom," Rory said.

"All right, I'm kidding," Lorelai said. "Um, I would like to propose a toast to the three things in my life that are always good, always sweet, and without them, I would have no reason to get up in the morning. My friends, Rory, Christy, and Dylan. Cheers."

"Happy birthday," Babette said to them.

"And in honor of these very special kids, I now invite you all to help me eat their faces," Lorelai said.

The doorbell rang and Sookie handed Rory a knife, "And you may have the first cut."

Rory started cutting into the cake, "There's something very strange about hacking into my own head."

The doorbell rang again.

"Jeez, who the hell's ringing the bell?" Lorelai called out, "It's a party! Get your ass in here!" Emily and Richard walked in. "Or asses I guess."

Rory and Christy both got up to run over to their grandparents. Rory said, "Grandma! Grandpa! I can't believe you're here. I'm so glad you came. Hey, no tie?"

"I thought I'd mix it up a little," Richard replied.

"Grandma, look," Rory said, showing Emily that she was wearing the bracelet that Emily got her. She pointed at the necklace that Emily also got Christy.

It dawned on Dylan that Lorelai may have told Emily to get the cheapest thing for Christy and Rory, just so Lorelai can get them the most expensive thing.

"Why, they look lovely," Emily told the two girls.

"I want you to meet everyone," Rory said. She and Christy took their grandparents' hands to lead them into the living room. "Everyone, these are our grandparents."

The townies greeted them, "Hi."

"Hello," Richard replied back.

"Lorelai," Emily said to Lorelai.

"Emily, Dad," Lorelai replied.

Richard said, "Lorelai, you look well."

Miss Patty went over to them, "I'm Patricia LaCosta. We just love your daughter and grandkids."

"Thank you," Emily said.

"My God, you're a tall specimen of a man. Must be all that good air in Hartford," Miss Patty flirted to Richard.

Dylan wished he could unhear that.

"Mom, Dad, can I get you a drink?" Lorelai said to her parents.

"No, thank you," Emily said.

"Oh, no, Mom, you're going to need one and I have wine glasses that say Holiday Inn on them," Lorelai told Emily.

Emily said, "Stoli on the rocks with a twist."

"Right," Lorelai replied, before going into the kitchen.

Rory and Christy introduced Emily to their friends and Jack grabbed a plate of hors d'oeuvres to eat because even he was beginning to look bored, before Rory looked over at him.

"Oh, give me that, Jack," Rory said, taking the plate from him, ignoring the extremely offended look Jack had given her. "Here, Grandma, try these hors d'oeuvres."

Dylan was confused over Rory taking Jack's plate away, when she could've taken another plate, "You could've gone to the kitchen to get a new plate."

"Yeah, my mom's making more," Jack said.

Emily picked up a bacon wrapped scallop and took a bite. She looked shocked, before taking off to the kitchen.

Dylan asked Jack, "Do you think I would be noticed if I go upstairs to go to bed?"

"You sleep a lot," Jack pointed out.

"I've noticed," Dylan replied darkly.

"I think your mother, sisters, and grandparents would notice," Jack replied. He looked over his shoulder at Richard who was looking at the fireplace. "I'll be right back."

"Bring me back my will to live," Dylan said.

Jack asked, "Bring you what?"

"I said bring me back some smoked salmon crostini," Dylan said.

"That's what I thought you said," Jack replied, giving Dylan a strange look before going to the kitchen.

Eventually Emily and Richard left, along with the rest of the guests, leaving Sookie and Jack to stick around to help clean up.

While Christy went into the kitchen to help Sookie and Lorelai, it left Jack and Dylan to clean because Rory was out front.

Jack asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Dylan replied.

Jack asked, "Why didn't you invite the others to come here?"

Dylan shrugged, "I thought they wouldn't care."

"Of course they would've," Jack replied. "You're our friend."

That was the thing wasn't it? He was just a friend. He was nobody's best friend. He was just an option, nobody's choice.

Once, in the fifth grade, he had a 'friend', Chad, who was friends with this slightly older guy, and one day, Chad said that his mother wanted to take him and his friends to Chuck E. Cheese, but only after they ate first, so Dylan was excited about it, then waited for at least two hours before realizing that he wasn't going to go. The next day, Chad dropped him as a friend by revealing that picked the other guy to go with him to Chuck E. Cheese and some other insulting things. Dylan had been upset over it and never bothered to tell his mother about it for some reason.

"It's fine, really," Dylan told Jack.

"Is it Alex that's making you think this shit?" Jack started, "If what he's saying that's bothering you—"

"It doesn't bother me because I know it's true," Dylan cut in. "I've been thinking this shit far longer than he had been spewing it at me."

Jack stared at him, "You scare me sometimes."

"Don't worry about that either, I scare myself enough for the both of us," Dylan replied.

"You really do worry me," Jack said.

"I would worry about me too but then I realize how fucking narcissistic that makes me sound," Dylan replied. He forced a chuckle, "I'm hilarious."

Jack, however, didn't look reassured though.