I was walking down the beach (because I'm awesome) when a bunch of random Porta-Potties explode. Everything inside turns into gross muddy mush...with a face.

"You will die now, Perseus Jackson." the face says.

"Yeah whatever." I tell it. "I'm awesome, you can't kill me!"

"Oh really?" says another voice from behind me, this one male. It's Luke, the unimportant dude, again. "I am Kronos, your amazing grandfather."

"Too bad." I tell him. "I'm the only amazing one here."

He chuckles and then waves to Porta-Potty lady, "You can kill him now." Then he snaps, summons a chair, and reclines in it to watch. I am offended. Only I get to recline in a chair and look cool!

"This will be fun, Perseus." the potty lady says. The mud starts to bubble, creeping towards me.

"AAAAAAHHH" I charge the mud and slash at it with my sword. It doesn't do anything. I am annoyed. Only I get to make people look stupid while looking effortless!

Finally, I retreat. I run back to camp and burst through the Big House door. "Chiron! Chiron! There's a mud-poop lady and my crazy grandpa on the beach!"

Chiron looks up. "What?"

"There's a poop lady and my-"

"I heard you the first time. But this isn't possible." he says.

"I know what I saw!" I protest.

"Percy, just go rest." he says wearily. I sigh and walk out to the Poseidon cabin, where I collapse on the bed and pass out gracefully. Because I'm awesome.

i hate myself for writing this

swim_read_repeat