Nearly blinded by the diamond hugging the finger of his friend, Yeosang slowly sipped his Mimosa. Even after attending the wedding himself two years ago, he still had a hard time comprehending what that ring symbolized.

"So, how are you and Hyunjin doing?" he asked, not particularly interested but he knew it was the polite thing to ask. 

"Amazingly," Hongjoong responded with a wide smile, and he tugged a lock of his platinum blonde hair behind his ear, in a way that had the diamond sparkling in the sunshine coming in through the window of the restaurant.

Yeosang had never been a big fan of Hwang Hyunjin, not back in high-school and still not now eight years - including two years of marriage to Hongjoong later. Maybe it was because of the way Hongjoong had changed, since his relationship with the former rebel kid started a few years back, but Yeosang wasn't entirely sure.

But he had definitely changed. The nerdy looking, high-achieving best friend Yeosang used to walk down the hallways of KQ private school with, was long gone. Instead, he had gotten comfortable with a life in the shadow of his wealthy husband, much like Yeosang should have. And since it was what the world thought of him as well, what Seonghwa wanted the world to see, Yeosang couldn't speak negatively about that type of lifestyle - not even to Hongjoong.

There was a significant difference between the two of them though - Hongjoong had fallen completely and utterly in love with his now husband, when the two of them went to the same university. He had texted Yeosang about it non-stop, saying how Hyunjin was way different from what they had thought of him, and how he hoped Yeosang would give his new love interest a chance.

And Yeosang did, he was raised well after all, to always act polite and smile.

"You know, we are going to Bali next month, why don't you and Seonghwa come with us? That would be so much fun!" With an excitement that would be too much of a shame to ruin, Hongjoong looked at Yeosang with an anticipating smile. 

"I..." Yeosang cleared his throat, unable to come up with any excuse not to. "I will ask Seonghwa about it. It sounds delightful." 

They clinked their glasses together, and while Hongjoong looked ecstatic, Yeosang was already stressing about finding an excuse to get out of the couple get-away.

♡

Yeosang brushed the blonde hair away, and placed kisses onto the freckled skin of his pretty lover. His hand slowly stroked down the neck, gently drawing patterns while his lips moved in for one last kiss onto the other's. 

"I have to go," he mumbled, but that night it was harder than usual to let go of the warm feeling of another body against his.

"Why do you stay with him?" 

The sound of the traffic outside, and sirens in the distance filled the dark hotel room while both of them became silent. Yeosang let his fingers twirl around a lock of the blonde hair, staring at it as was he trying to look for an answer between the golden strands. 

"You know we're not supposed to talk about these things," he then simply replied with a wry smile. 

About to move away, Yeosang was suddenly pulled back into a kiss so desperate that it hurt inside his own heart. Things were not supposed to be like this, it was never his intention to possibly hurt someone else, in his escape from his own pain. 

"Felix..." A gentle hand on the boy, whose beauty was as real but frail as his heart, Yeosang sighed as he pulled away. 

As he got dressed none of them spoke. Felix sat silently on the bed where Yeosang had been on top of him not long ago, with his legs pulled up in front of him under the covers. 

"I don't want it," the blonde said, raising his hand to gesture the rejection of the envelope Yeosang was about to give him. "I don't want any of this anymore... I-I can't..." 

Yeosang had only been in love once in his entire life, and although it had been a long time since then, he recognized the look in Felix' teary eyes. A lump was forming in his throat, as Yeosang looked at him - he had never meant for the younger to feel any distress. The agreement was for them to help each other out, they had great sex and Yeosang would give financial help to the struggling 21 year old Med. student. 

"Well... You are aware of the rules of the contract between us, and-"

Every word felt like vomit in his mouth, disgusting and left a bitter almost vile taste on his tongue. Yeosang clenched his fists, the envelope crumbling up in his hand as he spoke. He despised the way things had to be, how he had to be - but there was no other way.

"I thought you were more than this," Felix cut him off, clearly upset with the cold tone thrown towards him. He got out of bed, wrapped the crinkled sheet around his slim body and walked with fast steps towards the bathroom. "Guess I was wrong." 

The door slammed behind him, leaving Yeosang alone with only half of his clothes on. The rest was quickly thrown on, and he hurried out the door - although leaving the envelope behind on the bed. Felix needed the money more than he did, whether he wanted them or not.

What he had had with Felix might have meant nothing to Yeosang on a deeper, emotional level, but it still hurt when he walked out of the hotel, knowing that now he was truly alone.

♡

A visit to a nearby bar and a bottle of Soju later, Yeosang had left the rest of his dignity behind in the gutter, where his heart had been for years, and was now staring directly into a pair of angry brown eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" San threw the table cloth over his shoulder, and glared towards the door where a semi-drunk Yeosang was looking back at him. 

San looked so pretty, even with his face in a deep frown and the rage in his eyes. Dressed in black pants and a white shirt with the two upper buttons unbuttoned, so simple but yet so stunning. The blonde hair was pulled back in a small ponytail behind his head, but a soft lock was waving in front of his face, as he walked away from the table he had just been wiping clean. 

The restaurant was empty, closed for the night, and it was clear that the younger much rather wanted to go home than have another conversation with Yeosang. 

But that didn't stop Yeosang in that moment, he had nothing more to lose anyway.

"Can we talk?" 

With a roll of his eyes, San sat down on the edge of the table closest to Yeosang, but he crossed his arms in front of his chest - possibly to underline the distance he preferred between them. In silence, he looked at Yeosang - studying him almost, and then a brow slowly raised a brow.

"About what?" 

"Anything really... I don't care. I just want to feel like a normal person for once..." The confession just flew out of him, slipping from his tongue before his brain could stop it. But it was the truth, it was all he wanted. 

"But you're not," San instantly scoffed back at him. "You're anything but normal, right? You're an upper-class prince, and whatever kind of shit you think you're going through, you need to snap out of it. Because we both know that when you do, you'll realize that you don't want to feel normal, and you don't want to waste your time talking to someone like me."

Yeosang hesitated, hurt by the way San was talking to him. Sure, their previous encounters hadn't involved many positive words, if any at all, but this time it felt even worse. San hated him. 

But with the thought of having nothing to lose, Yeosang stepped forward.

"Stop talking like you know everything about me," he said, softly but he couldn't hide the sadness in his voice. "You have no idea what my life has been like the last couple of years."

"And who's to blame for that?" 

"San..."

"I don't know what you're expecting of me, and frankly, I don't even want to know. I'm happy, Yeosang, without you. I'll say this one last time, stay away from me. And remember me like I remember you, not at all."

San stood up straight and gestured towards the door, with a stone cold expression on his face.

"I can't!" Tears fell from his eyes, as the words exploded from his lips. Yeosang felt his hands tremble, his entire body actually, and he looked at San through the tears, hoping to find a sign of the boy he fell in love with years ago. 

And then, he forgot all about the perfect facade, about Seonghwa, the strict rules of his life - all of it. His voice was shaking almost violently, and sobs forced themselves in between the words he so desperately hoped would make San look at him differently.

"I can't! I wish I could, but I can't!" he cried out. But with the sadness rising, blending in with the alcohol running in his blood, anger and frustration soon erupted as well. "And if only you knew half of what was going on in my life, you wouldn't judge me like this. But I guess it's easy for you to judge, when you've never had to make any difficult decisions in your life!"

San's face changed within a second. Had he looked angry before, this was pure rage. His eyes darkened, as his brows furrowed down in a way that made him look like he was ready to kill. He stepped forward, and the sound of his steps ramming against the floor caused Yeosang to flinch. 

"Oh, shut up, Kang!" San yelled at him. The younger's arms flew around, uncontrollably and close to threatening. "You don't think I've ever had to make any difficult decisions? Who do you think turned my father in to the police?"

Silence.

Heavy, killing silence.

With fire in his eyes, San was about to turn around and walk away, his shoulders were trembling and his entire being was screaming loudly not to get close. But something suddenly caught Yeosang's eyes - something which made him take the steps forward to close the distance between them.

In his rage, San had jerked his body around in a way that had caused his shirt to shift as well, and a shining piece of silver jewelry was exposed, hanging around his neck. 

Yeosang reached his hand out, not even caring if San would push him away. His fingers stroked down the small pendant dangling from the necklace, and holding it in his hand he looked up - into San's surprised eyes. 

"You... You still have this..."

♡