The Holidays came and went, New Year's as well - spent with Seonghwa in Paris, with a glorious look over the city. The world was at his feet, but his heart was hollow. Yeosang had given up on checking his phone, as nothing had showed up from San, not even after the reception had returned. It hurt, and resulted in Yeosang simply turning his phone off until he was back in Korea.

Eventually he had stopped caring about anything, slumping around and even let Seonghwa shower him with the kind of attention he had wished for during their relationship. Had he been able to feel at all, he would have know it didn't feel right at that moment - but he didn't, and he simply let himself believe that maybe the older had been right. Maybe, it was stupid to chase after something new, thinking it would be better.

Back at school, on the 10th of January, Yeosang was walking down the hallway with Jeongin and Hongjoong who were being nosier than ever. The rumors had returned to Korea before he had, and his time in Paris with none other than Park Seonghwa, was on everyone's lips.

Yeosang kept a straight face, neither confirming or denying any of the questions his two friends were asking him, in what seemed like an endless stream of words. But the closer they got to the classroom, the heavier his heart felt. He had to face San again, any minute now, and suddenly it all came washing down over him - all the emotions he had tried to push aside, they all came back to tear him apart.

Being back reminded him how much in love he had felt only a few weeks ago, how San's lips had fit so perfectly onto his own, and now Yeosang knew exactly how much he actually missed him.

But then, something happened which had everyone around him turn their heads in the same direction...

It was like a scene from a Hollywood movie - although from some cheesy chick flick most likely - when the doors to the school opened and San walked into the hallway. The wind took its last chance to twirl his dark hair around, and his steps echoed through the silence that soon filled the entire room.

San walked through the crowd, the expression on his face was cold and careless - he was seemingly unbothered by the many stares, but as he passed by the whispers began to rumble behind him like a thunder. Yeosang looked around with a frown, confused by the strange behavior, but luckily Jeongin was more up to date with the latest upperclass gossip.

"Can't believe he came back..." The smaller whispered, with as equally big and surprised eyes as everyone else around him.

"What do you mean?" Yeosang mumbled, flipping his hair back like he really couldn't care less.

But of course he cared, and with each second of seeing San again, everything started to hurt. Yeosang wished he could just run up to him, pull him into his arms and that they would just be together forever.

"What? You haven't heard?"

"Believe it or not, but Choi San's life doesn't interest me at all," Yeosang scoffed, but the closer San got to him, the harder it was to pretend like his lie was the actual truth.

And as the dark haired boy was only a few steps away, Jeongin leaned in closer and whispered:

"His dad got arrested for embezzlement, it was all over the news during the Holidays. They lost everything..."

Yeosang's eyes widened up at the same time as San looked directly at him, and the cold stare that was shooting from underneath the dark locks waving in front of his face, hurt like a deep cut in Yeosang's heart. The eye contact was short, as San quickly turned his head away again.

"Guess it doesn't matter since his tuition has already been paid for..." But the last whisper from Jeongin flew unnoticeably past Yeosang.

San passed them by, not even slowing down his steps as he did - and the air between them was freezing cold. Yeosang turned his head, just slightly, to follow San with his eyes. But the hurt inside of him was spreading, now caused by two completely different reasons.

♡

The first day back at school felt like the longest one ever. Yeosang had his heart beating in his throat the entire day, and tears on the verge of breaking free. During lunch time, the gossip floating around school was divided into two topics: the Choi family scandal, and Kang Yeosang being back together with Park Seonghwa.

- Both causing Yeosang to feel sick to his stomach.

He was not back together with Seonghwa, not as far as he was aware of himself. Though, it was difficult to argue against it, after their getaway to Paris - which had the word 'romantic' pushed into every sentence his ears caught onto while walking around school.

There was no way San hadn't heard the rumors as well, but Yeosang hoped that the younger's own problems were overshadowing them. If he was lucky, maybe he could still clear things up with him, if San wanted to listen to him of course. Yeosang wanted to be there for him, assuming that San truly needed someone by his side through such hard times. But the question was, if San even wanted anything to do with him anymore...

When the last class of the day had finally ended, and everyone was leaving, Yeosang made sure to pack his things up very slowly - hoping to catch a moment alone with San. The younger had been sitting in the corner in the back, not saying one single word throughout the day. No stupid remarks, nothing.

One strange thing Yeosang had noticed though, was how Hyunjin and Jisung weren't sitting next to San as they used to. In fact, they didn't talk to, or got near San all day. Whenever they had been about to bump into each other, the two others had quickly turned around and walked the opposite way. Hard times sure show you who your real friends are.

A lump was forming in his throat, blocking the way for his voice to come out. But Yeosang took one deep breath before getting up from his seat, and clearing his throat the best he could he forced himself to speak up.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, voice shaking and hands sweating, when he and San finally were alone.

A long sigh came from the younger, who was still sitting at the small desk. His lips were pulled into a thin line, and from what it seemed he would much rather have liked to avoid any conversation with Yeosang.

"Tried to," he then coldly replied without looking up. "But you were too busy with your beloved boyfriend."

The sneering way San said the word boyfriend had Yeosang's toes curl up, and a knife was stabbing straight into his heart. He hesitated, leaning against the edge of the table two rows away from San, with his hands restlessly trying to find a place to be. He kept fiddling with the sleeve of his blazer, of the buttons of it, anything really - a way he didn't usually acted, but now he had no idea what to do or say.

"I-I..."

"I texted you. The day I got the news about my father," San continued with the same cold voice, flipping aggressively through the pages of the book in front of him. "I needed to see you. But you ignored me, and you went away with him. You've made your choice."

"San..."

Too bewildered to even think twice about the words that were spoken to him, Yeosang didn't catch onto the fact that San should have sent him a text, which he so obviously had not received...

"It's fine, Kang."

Yeosang froze with a gasp resting on his tongue. He didn't realize he already had gotten so used to San calling him nicknames, before he felt how much it hurt that he didn't. San got up from his seat, shoved the book into his bag, and while exhaling so sharply that it sent shivers down Yeosang's back, he walked towards the door.

"At least now I know," he mumbled, and as he reached out for the door handle his eyes suddenly darted towards Yeosang. The brown eyes that used to be full of dreams so beautiful that Yeosang wished he could just dive right into them, were nothing but two dark pits.

"Now I know that I've really lost it all."

♡