Dread reared it's ugly head at the slighted hum that was her uncle's tired tone. The way he spoke was soft, and sure with little beats of exuberance thrumming around on his tongue. She had never heard him raise his voice, or speak out of turn before. She always waited for it though.

For one of her many mistakes to break this calm and surrender to anger. Quick tempers were a dime a dozen in her family tree. Being slow to rage seemed to be one of the few similarities she and her uncle, Cassian, shared. She kept her fury on a leash, held back by her control fiercely if only to oppose her mother's years of fire.

Alaska made sure she locked the door twice before finally turning around. Cassian was stood behind the kitchen counter that looked over the open concept living area. Despite the time there was a pot of coffee sputtering out the last drops of water into the fresh drink. He hadn't moved to face her yet, instead he reached into a cabinet to snag a mug.

"Yeah," her words trailed apologetically. Her voice was marred by a darker level of rasp than her edge cigarettes gave her. "Sorry, I was just... driving around and lost track of time." Every word was muddled by exhaustion, torn at the seams like she was half dead. She scratched the back of her neck, digging her nails into her skim more deeply than was needed.

The sound of glass clinking together quietly was the only sound as he rooted through the cupboard. Cassian pulled down a coffee cup painted in a plethora of pastel hues. He had made it in a pottery glass and suddenly every other mug became obsolete. Being that he used it anytime he had a hot drink, Alaska wasn't sure why he didn't just leave it by the pot after cleaning it.

He ran his slender fingers through his raven hair peppered by fine lines of grey. His normal fade was past due for a cut, Alaska also surmised he must have just gotten out of the shower because his hair was damp. His thick eyebrow was already raised when he swiveled around to face her.

"Driving around..." Cassian mused, his hazel eyes observing her carefully. The close observation was shoulder tensing, jaw tightening and discomfort inducing. Somewhere within the forest green flecks of color embedded into the honey brown stare was worry. He was quiet for a second, just peering at her with pursed lips. "Were you driving around for anything in particular?"

Alaska swallowed softly, forcing away the shadowy memories from earlier. Obviously that truth was one she would only ever disguise in lies. However long she lived, if she ever lost sight of those thin rays of light, maybe tonight's story could surface as a connection to her sorrow. If or until that happened, she would spare Cas the details.

"Not really, I just wanted to check out the town and get a feel for it before school starts tomorrow," Alaska lied.

As Cassian began to pour himself a cup of coffee he used his free hand to scratch the stubble on his sharp jawline. "You've not had any interest in doing that the past couple weeks," he pointed out. Of course she hadn't. It was a town minuscule as a speck of dust in North Carolina. She stuck out like a rusty nail popping out of the floorboard, it was obvious to the people who grew up in Alderwood.

The quiet patter of her boot tapping against the wooden floor sounded softly. She took a deep breath, taking in the aroma of coffee meshed with  pine in the air. "I just figured i'd start trying a little harder to adapt," she mumbled through grit teeth.

The man emptied a packet of sugar into his coffee and stirred it swiftly. "Oh?" He questioned, frowning with apparent skepticism. "The sights are beautiful..." he trailed off, his eyes lingering on the window to the right of him. This house was buried in nature, elevated on timid hills that provided a small look onto the misty fields below. He tilted his head back to her and narrowed his eyes, making the fine lines around them more pronounced. "So beautiful they might be worth shedding a tear over."

Alaska bit the inside of her cheek, tearing the skin between her teeth in silence. "Right," she nodded sheepishly. She avoided looking back at him. He was too understanding, too caring. The weight of his worry for her was a burden to both of them, and Alaska didn't know how to alleviate it. He was searching for answers on her face. Reasoning in her eyes, unspoken words on her lips, meaning in her now flushed cheeks. But Alaska was the keeper of her secrets, and no one could decode the world behind her eyes.

After the second passed like sands falling in an hourglass, she aimlessly pointed down the hall. "I should probably go to bed, make sure i'm bright eyed for tomorrow," she tried to excuse by taking a step the way she gestured.

"Hey, hold on, kid." Cassian placed both his hands on the countertop, holding the edges of it for stability. Alaska almost cringed at the way his voice shifted. His whole demeanor, really. He implemented a myriad of sympathetic colors into his voice, gradually make the blue of it all softer. Traces of stern charcoal swilled the casual lilt he usually kept, creating a sound akin to the early morning sky.

With a sigh Alaska stepped back and arched an eyebrow. She pulled her features into a stony look, a defensive shield to keep out any unwanted pursuits of comfort. "What?" Her voice was a quiet murmur, polite but feigned with oblivion.

"Are you okay?"

She had almost killed herself thirty minutes ago.

His question was innocent. Alaska knew damn well his intent was only the best, even so, hearing it for the third time that week was suffocating. Especially hearing it now, her lungs were being squeezed in a vice grip. Her words caught for a second, jumbling on her tongue as she tried to think of something to say. She didn't look okay, and he most likely wasn't going to believe whatever bullshit excuse she came up with.

Finally, she just ended up nodding. "Why wouldn't I be?" Alaska shrugged.

"Your mom just died, Alaska," Cassian said flatly. His lips fell into a line as he rattled of his blunt statement, however he knit his brows carefully.

Alaska could think of a million other cuts along her skin that had led her to this point. Perhaps the most tantalizing laceration of this whole ordeal of Alaska's existence, was that she'd never... fixed things. She'd always envisioned reconcile, a patchwork bond sewn by their ripped edges with her mom. It could never happen now due to a handful of pills.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "It wasn't just. It happened a couple weeks ago," she attempted to joke, to disguise the underlying swells of pain ricocheting through her body until it physically hurt.

Cassian drew in a disappointed breath. He shook his head just slightly, a gesture small as a daffodil in a field of dandelions. "That's not funny," he replied. "If this situation-" he gestured flippantly between them. "-is gonna work you're going to have to meet me halfway, kid."

He might have had a point. Alaska was a chameleon, fading into the colors of whatever was around her to disguise her true feelings. She wasn't quick to divulge her vulnerabilities and she hadn't been working hard enough to see Cassian's perspective. This concern was foreign to her, uncharted and terrifying in it's vastness.

"So, what do you want me to do?" Alaska began to tap her foot again. "I'm okay, what else is there to discuss?"

"You're okay?" Cassian scoffed subtly. "You don't have to say that. I don't expect you to be fine," his throat tightened up. "You're a sixteen year old who just lost a parent, a parent who you had a very complicated relationship with," he stopped himself to take a deep breath and collect himself before the exasperation brewing a storm in his mind to form. "I mean, Alaska me and your mom talked, you know?"

The atmosphere around the pair changed, merging into a calamitous mirage of all their worries. The air could have been red around them, bound by flagrant chains of maroon emotion.

Alaska wrapped her hand around her wrist and squeezed her flesh as tightly as she could. "Sure, she'd call whenever she needed money, I assume," she snapped with more venom than she'd intended.

"No... well, yes but she told me a lot about you and the things that happened between you-"

"Stop," Alaska cut him off. Whatever he was eluding to could be a loose thread she couldn't locate right now. Heat blistered her face, and twinged the tips of her ears. Her chest was tight, still thick with the last embers of her incinerating ache.

Her mother could have translated all their fights and problems to her own language that made Alaska into a monster. She could have told Cassian about her coming out, sparing the details on the twisted lengths she went to to try and change it. Could have said she was the reason Alaska's dad never stuck around, her mom really liked saying that before she died. "I don't want to know what she told you, in fact I don't really want to talk about her at all," Alaska's words were like smoke after the bullet left the gun.

She dropped her hands to her sides with a quiet thump. "She's dead, we don't need to dig up what happened between us- and I assure you it's not something you want to help unpack," she lowered her voice into a wavering brush of frustration.

Cassian clicked his teeth together as he spared a glance towards his watch. "We're going to talk about this more tomorrow," he walked out from behind the counter and started to fill the space between them. "You need to go to get some sleep and we both need to cool down," he had his coffee cup in his hand with his eyes set on his office. He stopped short in front of her, standing a few inches over her making him about 6'0.

She watched his hand as he gently placed it onto her shoulder. The gesture couldn't have been more caring, yet it still made Alaska's skin crawl. "Just know that i'm here," he emphasized, detecting how tense she got and dropping his hand back down.

"I know," Alaska gave a stiff nod.

"I'm here, Alaska," Cassian repeated. "For all of it, not just what's easy to stomach."

~what's a trope you'd like to see in this story?~

Hello lovely readers! First and foremost, sorry for the short chapter! With the next chapter i have planned, making them into one would have made for a very awkward transition and a long read! Anyway though, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm happy to hear any feedback you may have, and thoughts you have on the characters so far! As always, thank you for reading and have a wonderful day/ night!