Book: Destiny never Disappoints
Author: psyco_berry12
Reviewer: Iamjustasapien
Chapters read: 6

***

Cover:
Well, if I am being blunt the cover is not that impressive. The reason? Well, the position of the word 'Disappoints' being at the bottom of the cover is odd and when I, as a reader, read it, I was puzzled to see one half of the title on the bottom of the page. I recommend you to place your username at the bottom, decrease the size of the pic and place the word 'Disappoints' near the word 'never'.

Furthermore, you could maybe add some elements related to romance and trauma. Your cover lacks substance, so, please do the changes I have mentioned above.

Apart from that, the image used is just perfect and really eye-catching. It's thought evoking and really catches the reader's attention. Not to mention, it is quite relevant to your book. The young lady is Crystal, and in her mind we see Royce, looking down, probably with unhappiness from having a toxic parent. The image depicts the storyline well and is perfect! I have no complaints regarding it. Good job!

Title:
'Destiny never Disappoints' is a simple yet unique title choice.  It's fits the storyline and intrigues the reader. I have no complaints, good job!

Blurb: 
"With corruption in his house, Royce is doing his best to let loose from the clutches of the labels he has from the school and society, his family and most importantly, his Father. Royce's only home is school, but due to his current girlfriend, that place too is chaos."

Now, the blurb has quite a few mistakes. Let's look into the corrections, which would enhance the reading experience.

Correction: "With toxicity in his house, Royce is doing his best to let loose from the clutches of the labels he has from the school, society, his family and most importantly, his Father. Royce's only home is school, but due to his current girlfriend, that place too, is chaotic."

A few minor mistakes are there in your blurb. But it really effects the amount of readers willing to read your book. Blurb is one of the factors, that makes a reader to explore your book more and click that golden 'read' button. I strongly suggest your to proof-read your blurb and correct the mistakes. Additionaly, please do refrain to write like this:

"....but destiny is testing him with time.....Is he too late to start over a new life? Is he destined to never have happiness in his life?"

"...know...the world is not so kind...With her journey in discovering the people in the new country, she has started school in...Crystal is put in situations with many choices to make."

Please do not add many full-stops in between the sentences, it ruins the reading experience.

Apart from these errors, your writing style is remarkable! I can see you do have a great potential to grow and have a clear plot in your mind. Your mistakes or errors are holding you down. So, please do correct them.

Plot:
I have to admit, the plot is really unique and entertaining. Although, your story is the cliché high school romance but due to the originality and uniqueness of your characters, your book stands out. Not to mention, the cliffhangers at the end, really do hook the readers.

The writing is simple yet enjoyable. Although, there is a lot of room for improvement, your story is really realistic. With Royce's strict yet toxic parent, Crystal's nervousness on her first day and the interactions of the characters, your book is something many can relate to. I love how each chapters starts with a song linked to it, it just shows the dedication you put into your work. Keep up the good work!

Now, let's look at the mistakes done.

1) " She smiled nervously and talks a walk to school with her mother as the school was just a 15 minutes walk from home."

2) " It was two French plats from either side of her head, which ended with a ponytail. "

3) " Already five minutes into her new environment, she could feel some of the girls in the classroom trying to speak to me."

4) "He looks at me with the most unassuming look I'd ever see him put." (change of pov)

There a lot more mistakes done in your book. I strongly suggest you to proof-read your work and correct them. Additionally, I strongly suggest you to correct the first paragraph of chapter 1.

It is mentioned he is in the kitchen and on the next line we see him heading to his king-sized bed. It was quite puzzling to see the sudden change of scene. Do correct it, since, it's the first paragraph of your book and that determines the amount of readers willing to read your book futher.

Character development:
I can't say much about the chracter development, since, I have not read a lot of chapters. But I have to admit, the characters' personalities and interactions are well-written. But I have a suggestion regarding your writing style. You can use words, to make the readers feel, the emotions your characters feel in the book. For instance, we see Crystal feeling tense by feeling eyes on her on the first day of school. Make the readers feel that by using sentences like these:

"She felt eyes on her and her muscles grew rigid. Curious eyes were on her. Sweat formed on her forehead and her stomach churned, as she shook herself and ignored the bulging eyes, and sat on her seat."

This is just a suggestion, your not obligated to do this.

Grammar and Vocabulary:
Well, could find quite a few grammatical errors. Sometimes, you write a full sentence without any comma separating it. Or you would add too many full-stops in between the sentences, so, please do correct it by proof-reading your work. I have mentioned a errors in the 'Plot' section.

Improvements needed to be done:
As I have mentioned, work on the cover, blurb and writing style. You have a lot of potential as a new writer, who has written such a beautiful and rare masterpiece. Your have a lot of learning materials in wattpad, that can help you grow. Your story had a huge potential to grow, never stop writing!

Overall enjoyment:
The mistakes I have mentioned might seem a bit discouraging but I have listed them down for you to learn from them. Your story was really enjoyable regardless of the mistakes made. With practice and right guidance, I just know your book will reach heights. Humans make mistakes to learn from them. Therefore, please do not be discouraged. Fix the mistakes done and shine bright! Let your masterpiece be known! Thank you.

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