I WASN'T THE SMARTEST PERSON WHEN IT CAME TO BEING AFFECTIONATE TOWARDS THE GIRL I'M MATED TO. Despite knowing that I was into women as well as men from a young age, I feared that Bella and I would be going through the homoerotic female friendship phase within no time.

Not that her actions made things any better. She couldn't keep her eyes off of me and I couldn't stop winking at her at random times. Cat's out of the bag, I suck.

Nevertheless, that last for about two weeks. The winking, the perpetual flirting without it being seen as homosexual activity because of Edward (who loomed over every conversation- poor Bella, she didn't even realize what was happening). My resolve lasted for maybe half of that two weeks, but I knew I couldn't do anything until we figured out what we would do about the whole... vampire thing.

Carlisle was convinced she should be told and turned as soon as we were out of high school. I was already eighteen, but Bella wasn't and therefore her father was legally obligated to care for her. I didn't need Charlie knowing about any of this, he did not need to be turned.

The rest were not as convinced that things could wait that long. Alice was hoping to get to know her and tried to assure Carlisle that the odds were in our favor. He didn't like the idea of going behind Charlie's back and seducing his daughter.

Whoops. I already halfway did that.

So, obviously, we went with Alice's plan, which didn't sit as well with Edward as I'd hoped.

"I can't control myself around her," Edward moaned as he dramatically allowed a copy of Emma drop from his hands. "I'm a mess."

"Carlisle said it's impossible to harm your true mate," I tried to reassure him. "But you are a mess."

"It's not even funny anymore." Edward gloomed at the ceiling. "My life is falling to pieces and there's actually nothing I can do about it."

I let myself get spread out on top of him while he gloomed and doomed all over his messy bed. 

"Then let me do something about it."

"What is the worst thing that could happen, Edward?" I asked. "Even if you turned her, we'd just have to blow town and let her death be some crazy mystery that attracts tourism."

"Heartless."

"Realistic, I think." My insistance was getting nowhere with him. Still, I tried. "We've had this same conversation before, Edward. Like, two or three weeks ago. We've been having the same family meeting over and over again and the outcome has been the same."

"Everyone has too much faith that I'll be able to control myself when the going gets tough."

"You went through med school, you can handle this."

---

"YOU'RE GOING OVER TO THE CULLEN HOUSE AGAIN?"

Bella frowned deeply. Charlie looked up at her from the bottom of the stairs. She'd already gotten her backpack, hoping for the best. Fennie's ringer was distinct, she'd paid for the song  two days ago and her heart nearly skipped a beat when she heard it coming from her room.

"I don't know, it just seems like you're spending a lot of time with that girl and her boyfriend," Charlie tried to sound reasonable. "I don't know them at all."

"Don't you want me to have friends?" Bella asked with her arms folded.

Charlie let out a sigh. "Of course I do."

"I'll be back by eleven, like we promised."

Bella wasn't planning on leaving the house that night. Something about the Cullen residence made her never want to leave. She wasn't that big a supporter of the modern exterior, but the inside was beautiful.

Her fingers twitched as she rang the doorbell. Within seconds Alice was outside, beaming with the same joy she always managed to carry around. Bella envied that, the ability to be completely happy seemingly all the time.

She was taken aback by the instant hug from Alice, who squeezed her tight.

"They're in Fennie's room," Alice whispered.

Bella should have been embarrassed by how fast she ran up the stairs, nearly tripping at least twice at the bottom few that she and Fennie insisted were just so slightly lopsided. The blush that crept onto her cheeks when she saw her friend's face didn't help.

---

I'D PURPOSEFULLY CONVINCED OUR BIOLOGY TEACHER TO ALLOW A LAB GROUP OF THREE. Yes, the begging had been excruciating. Yes, my dignity died that day. But the proof was right in front of me.

Edward still had that sour, depressive look on his face. I think Bella saw it, was hurt, and moved on to me.

Things clearly worked differently for humans who are mates. If Emmett wronged Rose like that, I think she'd have put him on a spike, mate or no.

"We have the last three pages of the lab to do," I announced to the little manipulated throuple-to-be. "Half are the formulas we went over in class."

"I can do the math," Edward offered. "I'll go get the calculator."

And there goes my plan.

Guess it's Bella and I again, since Mr. Stink Face wants to run off and pray that he doesn't turn her. Because that is what he does whenever he leaves us alone. Some of it may also be praying that I don't seduce Bella too much.

I'm really awkward, I don't know how I've gotten this far. Must be the whole fated mates thing. Edward left as swiftly as Bella came in. Which left me with nothing other than to do more conversing. A drag when you know she thinks you're in a relationship with the guy who left. A drag when she has no clue that the concept is open.

This stage absolutely sucks, to put it simply.

"He manages to escape me yet again," I tried to laugh it off.

"Uhm, is everything okay with the two of you?" Bella asked, ever the sweetheart and mender of broken things. We have that in common, it seems.

I sighed. "Yes, everything is fine. He just wants something and thinks he'll break it if he touches it."

It wasn't a lie. As much as I trusted Edward to be around Bella, being intimate was not an option. 

He would totally break her, or break the bed and everything around the bed.

Think better thoughts, Fennie. Please.

"He could always put a glass case over it?" Bella suggested.

"I doubt a human would like being in a glass case," I said with a small laugh. "Edward's a funny guy, if you can get past all the brooding and random religious comments."

Bella raised an eyebrow and my heart sank for a moment.

I waved my hands in front of me. "No- not like that, I promise. He's very accepting of everyone and doesn't think stuff is bad. He just... has a lot of guilt."

"Skeletons in the closet."

"Somewhat," I agreed before grabbing my water bottle and taking a sip. "Has a hard time telling people he cares in ways that are healthy and normal."

"Are you okay?"

"Mhm, yeah."

"Does he-"

I cut Bella off, realizing what she was implying.

"-Nononono that's also not what I mean. Edward does care about me and treats me amazingly. Everyone in the house does. They all love me, I love them. Happy family."

I think this is where I fucked it up.