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𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗬

chapter twenty-one:
I love you !

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TO SAY ATHENA wasn't doing well was an understatement. Once Artemis had taken her home, Athena had immediately locked herself in her room. She knew it wasn't healthy and being this distraught over a boy was stupid, but Ricky wasn't just some boy. He was so much more than that and had managed to break her heart in a million pieces so fast.

Everyone had tried to get her out of her room. Athena's mother and father came to check up on her about every hour even though they didn't know what happened, but she only responded with short sentences or one worded answers. Artemis was there by her side every time she cried again. Violetta had even resorted to trying to physically drag her out once she came back from dress rehearsal with news they would now be putting the show on in the gym at East High. Nothing worked. Athena ignored all of the texts and calls that were spamming her phone. Kourtney, Big Red, Seb, Carlos, Ashlyn, and EJ constantly asked her if she was okay, and Ricky and Nini kept pleading for her to talk to them. She especially didn't look at those ones. It hurt too much.

Athena currently sat at her keyboard, a piece of paper and a pen next to her. She was doing one thing she knew how to do — writing a song. Athena didn't know the title of it and didn't have any other lyrics written on the paper except one, the same line she had said out loud to Ricky: Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me. But it didn't matter that no other lines were written. Whatever words expelled from her would come straight from her broken heart.

She thought for a moment. Athena gently placed her fingers on the keys and played a couple notes to try and find the right ones. She finally settled on a chord that sounded right to her. Athena began to hum a tune under her breath as she played another chord that was higher than the last. Her fingers moved like they had a mind of their own until she finally figured out all the chords she needed to. With a sniffle as tears began to fill her eyes, she started to figure out the lyrics to go along with it.

"I know we weren't perfect," Athena sang softly to herself as she played the chords she had thought off. She paused to think about the next words carefully, and they suddenly came to her. "But I've never felt this way for no one."

That was completely and utterly true. Athena and Ricky weren't perfect. Not even close. Their relationship was new and they were trying to figure out how their dynamic changed from going from friends to lovers. But if Athena knew one thing, it was that the way her heart raced and how butterflies fluttered around her stomach hadn't happened with anyone else besides Ricky. She had felt it for years. Athena had tried to get other crushes and ignore it, but she couldn't. Ricky was truly the only one she had feelings for.

Athena pressed on the keys again as yet another line entered her head. "And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone."

She had told him that if he felt anything for her at all that he would let her go. He did. That had to mean something, but it only hurt Athena more. The two of them had promised that they would always have each other no matter what. But almost cheating on her with his ex-girlfriend . . . how could anyone be okay with that? She wondered how Ricky was. Athena had to break that promise, and now he had lost her.

"Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me," she voiced, a tear streaming down her cheek.

Perfect Harmony. Ricky had told her he had written that song because of all the thoughts of her in his head. At the time they had sung it together, Athena had been so incredibly happy. Ricky had really written a song for her about their relationship. Everything about saying they were friends and playing pretend to them creating perfect harmony had made Athena fall even deeper for the boy. But if he had really meant what he said in that song, how could he possibly go and almost kiss Nini back at the theater? Athena and Ricky having more than chemistry was all thrown out the window the second she had walked in that room.

Athena pressed her fingers on the keys in another chord. She wiped away another tear that had fallen down her face with the back of her hand. Suddenly, she heard a knock at her door. Athena looked over to see her father, Adam, peeking his head through the door to look at her.

"Hey, sweetie," he greeted. "Mind if I come in?"

She shook her head. Adam walked into the room and closed the door behind him. He walked up to Athena and sat next to her on the keyboard bench. Athena sniffled once more and rubbed her eyes. She was just so tired.

"What song are you writing now?" Adam asked, noticing the pen and piece of paper.

Athena shrugged. She still didn't have a title or anything else except that one part she had sang out loud and the one line written on the paper.

Adam picked up the piece of paper. "Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me. That's . . . pretty heavy, 'Thena."

She nodded. "Yeah."

"Baby, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's going on. I hate seeing you in so much pain. Suddenly you just came home crying with Artemis from theater rehearsal. Did something happen?"

"A lot happened," she replied, speaking more words to him than she had in the past couple of hours. "Our set burning down, moving to a new theater, me catching Ricky about to kiss Nini . . ." More tears filled her eyes and her lip began to quiver. "It hurts and I just want it all to stop, dad."

Adam didn't say anything else. He only pulled his daughter in close and allowed her to cry into his shoulder. Adam rubbed her back softly and rocked her gently back and forth in effort to calm her down some. It was no use. Athena kept giving out the most heartbreaking of sobs to the point where she felt like she couldn't breathe.

"I'm so stupid," she cried. "I should've known. I'm no Nini."

"No, you're not," Adam responded, stroking her hair. "You're Athena, and if that wasn't good enough for him, then he never saw your real potential."

There was another knock at her door. It opened to reveal Artemis, whose mad features softened once she noticed Adam and Athena. Athena pulled away from her dad and tried to take deep breaths. Artemis crossed her arms and leaned against the wall with her shoulder.

"Ricky's downstairs," Artemis announced. "I told him to go away before I punched him, but he was pretty adamant on staying down there. Do you want me to go punch him anyways?"

Athena shook her head. "No. I'll tell him to go away."

"You sure, 'Thena?"

She nodded. As much as she didn't want to see Ricky right now, she knew that the only way he would leave their front porch was if she told him to. Threats from Artemis wouldn't make him budge. But seeing a heartbroken Athena and him being the cause of it? That would be enough to drive him away.

Athena stood up. She inwardly sighed before walking downstairs. Athena froze in her tracks once she noticed Ricky's head through the small window at the top of her door. No, she thought to herself. Come on, Athena. You can do this. Just tell him to go away and it'll be done. She walked up to the door and opened it.

Ricky immediately turned. His hair was more messy than usual and his eyes were bright with determination, yet they were also rimmed with red. Ricky's breath hitched in his throat once he noticed Athena's state. Her eyes were puffy and glassy with tears and her face was blotchy from her recent cry. She only wore a sweatshirt and sweatpants and her hair was tied into a messy bun. He had never seen her so shattered, and yet he was the cause of this. Ricky knew he had to fix this.

"You didn't let me explain earlier," Ricky voiced.

"Go away," Athena firmly stated. "I'm serious, go home."

"No."

"No?"

"No," Ricky confirmed. "I need you to hear me out. Athena, please."

"Ricky, I really can't do this right now," Athena pleaded, her heart feeling like it was being squeezed. "Please, just go. You've done enough."

"I know, trust me, Attie. But breaking your heart was never my intention. You know that."

"Do I? Because your intentions are very unclear right now. What exactly was it, Ricky? To play with my feelings so I could make a fool out of myself or use me as a rebound for Nini?" Athena scoffed quietly. "I really don't want to be your second choice."

"Second choice?" Ricky questioned incredulously. "No. You have never been my second choice. In fact, you've always been my first, because I love you, Athena."

Athena froze in shock and stared at him. "What?"

"I love you," Ricky repeated, so sincerely that Athena couldn't help but start to believe him. "I've loved you since kindergarten when you moved in next door and saw me fall off my skateboard when I was first learning how to skate. I've loved you since middle school when you would always ask me who I had a crush on and I said no one, even though deep down inside I knew it was you. I've loved you since freshman year when you told me everything was going to be okay because I was terrified of going to high school. I've loved you since the summer when you were there through that whole thing with Nini. And I love you now, even when you hate me."

"Ric—"

"And God, I love everything about you," Ricky continued, ignoring her attempt to interrupt him. "I love the way your fingers fidget when you're nervous, almost as if you're itching to play the piano. I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about important people in your life. I love the way your eyes crinkle when you laugh. I love the way you sometimes make fun of me even though I pretend to hate it. I love the way you're compassionate with people and always try to find the good in them. I love the way you bury your head in my chest whenever you cry over a sad movie. I love the way your smile can immediately brighten up my day. I love how genuinely kind you are, because you make the world a better place, Athena. I love how this musical brought us closer than we've ever been. And most importantly, I love the way you've always managed to make my heart feel like it's about to burst out of my chest. It's always been there, and it's always been you. You're always my number one girl."

"Ricky—"

"I — I never wanted to tell you because it just would have made things more complicated," Ricky admitted. "I figured that keeping my love a secret from you but still having you in my life was better than confessing and you leaving me. Please, Athena, I'll do anything."

"Ricky," Athena stated firmly, pausing his entire confession. "Just . . . please stop."

He nodded once. "Yeah, yeah, okay."

"You hurt me," she admitted, making Ricky look down at the ground. "A lot. I'm angry and confused as to why you were even thinking about kissing Nini in the first place. It's inexcusable, and I don't think I'll ever fully understand why, but . . . that part about me hating you? I don't."

Ricky's head snapped back up. "You don't?"

Athena shook her head, the smallest of smiles on her face as she felt her heart mend just the slightest bit. "Not even close."

"Listen, I am so sorry about the whole Nini thing," Ricky said. "Both of us started leaning in but I noticed what was going on at the last second. I swear to you, Athena, I would never cheat on you. You're the one I want to be with. Please, let me make it up to you—"

He didn't notice Athena walking towards him until she cut him off by placing his face in her hands and kissing him. Athena didn't see, but Ricky's eyes momentarily widened before they fluttered shut in content at the feeling of her lips on his. He placed his hands on either side of her waist, making Athena's body erupt in tingles. Their kiss tasted salty from Athena's tears, but nevertheless, it was just as sweet as all of the other ones. Athena pulled away after a moment only for Ricky to lean back in and kiss her once more. Finally, he pulled away and stared down at her with adoration in his eyes.

"I could never hate you," Athena whispered. "Because I love you too, Ricky Bowen. I always have and I always will."

Ricky smiled at her and wrapped his arms further around her waist. Athena laughed slightly and hooked her arms around his neck. Her emotions were still all over the place, but the feeling of love ultimately overpowered all of that hurt she had felt earlier. The two teenagers had never felt pure bliss until that very moment where they hugged each other on Athena's front porch. Amanda, Adam, and Artemis watched secretly from inside, knowing grins on their faces as they saw their favorite couple make up.

And as Athena and Ricky stood there in the chilly December air, both of them knew that somehow they would be okay. Athena Blake and Ricky Bowen knew how to make things between them work. They always did.

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"I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired, and you'd be standing in my front porch light, and I knew you'd come back to me" >>>> the vibes of this tbh

I HATED WRITING HURT ATHENA GOODBYE

anyways this is one my fav chapters. the emotions, the words, OH MAN I LOVED WRITING IT