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The lights were low in the dining room as everyone gathered around the table. The cloaked figure stood in the back of the room, still smoking their pipe, and Bilbo had yet to see their face or hear their name. Thorin sat at the end of the table, eating the food that had been left over for him.

"What news from the meeting in Ered Luin?" The dward Balin asked him. "Did they all come?"

Thorin looked up at him. "Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms."

"And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hill say? Is Dain with us?" The dwarf named Dwalin asked.

Thorin paused, before shaking his head slightly. "They will not come." The other dwarves all seemed visibly upset by his answer. "They say this quest is ours, and ours alone."

Before this point, Bilbo hadn't been paying attention, but at the mention of this, he perked up. "You're doing a quest?"

Gandalf looked back at him. "Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light." Bilbo walked out of the room, and Gandalf took out a map from his robes, laying it on the table. "Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak."

Blibo returned with a candle, and leaned over to read from the map. "The Lonely Mountain."

The dwarf Gloin nodded. "Aye, Oin has read the portents and the portents say: it is time."

The dwarf Oin spoke. "Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold. When the birds of the old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end."

"Uh...what beast?" Bilbo asked.

"Well that would be a reference to Smaug the Terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age." Bofur told him. "Airborne firebreather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals-"

"Yes,I know what a dragon is." Bilbo said, cutting Bofur short.

Ori suddenly shot up from his seat. "I'm not afraid, I'm up for it! I'll give him a taste of the dwarfish iron right up his jacksy!" The dwarves cheered him on, and the one named Dori shoved him back in his seat.

"The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest." Balin said.

"Hey!" Ori called. "Who you calling dim?!" Everyone started talking and arguing at the same time.

"We may be few in number, but we're fighters. All of us!" Fili said once it was calmed down a bit.

Kili nodded enthusiastically. "And you forget we have a wizard in our company, Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time!"

"Oh, well. No, uh, I wouldn't say..." Gandalf stuttered.

"How many then?" Dori asked.
"What?"

"Well, how many dragons have you killed?" Gandalf didn't answer and instead just smoked is own pipe. "Go on, give us a number!" The dwarves started arguing at once again, angrier and louder than before.

"Enough!" Thorin shouted, rising from his chair. Every stopped their yelling and settled down at once. "If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look East to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?"

The dwarves all cheered, but then Balin spoke. "You forget the front gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain."

Gandalf smirked. "That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." He held up a key, putting everyone in awe. Even the person under the cloak paused smoking their pipe.

"How came you by this?" Thorin asked the wizard.

"It was given to me by your father, by Thrain, for safekeeping." He responded. "It is yours now." He held out the key to Thorin, and the dwarf took it slowly.

"If there is a key, there must be a door!" Fili exclaimed.

Gandalf nodded slightly, looking down at the map. "These ruins speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls."

"There's another way in." Kili stated.

"Well, if we can find it, but dwarf doors are invisible when closed." Gandalf paused, before looking up at everyone. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, and I do not have the skill to find it, but there are others in Middle-Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage." He glanced at Bilbo, who have him a look. "But if we're careful and clever, I believe that it can be done."

"That's why we need a burglar." Ori said.

Bilbo, who had been listening the entire time, nodded in agreement. "Hmm. And a good one too. And expert, I'd imagine."

The person under the cloak smirked, although they couldn't see it, and spoke their first words of the entire evening. "And are you?" Their voice sounded feminine, but it was hard to tell.

Everyone turned to Bilbo, while he looked at the cloaked figure, surprised they had talked. "Am I what?"

"An expert."

"Me? No! No, no, no!" Bilbo said, shaking his head, and holding his hands out in front of himself. "I...I'm not a burglar. I've never stolen a single thing in my life." The cloaked person scoffed, as if disappointed.

"And I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr Baggins." Balin said. "He's hardly burglar material." Bilbo nodded.

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor defend themselves." Dwalin said, and Blibo nodded again.

All of the dwarves began to speak over themselves once more, and suddenly, Gandalf rose from his seat, and the room grew dark. "Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is!" The light returned to the room as everyone went silent. All but the cloaked figure seemed disturbed by Gandalf's actions, and continued to smoke. "Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most if they choose, and while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of a dwarf, the scent of a hobbit is all but unknown to him, which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the fifteenth member of this company, and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know, including himself." Gandalf turned to look down at Thorin. "You must trust me on this."

Thorin looked back at him. "Very well, we'll do it your way."

Bilbo tried interjecting. "No, no..."

"Give him the contract."

"Orin, we're off!" Bofur exclaimed.

Bilbo shook his head. "Please-"

Balin rose to his feet, holding out a piece of folded up paper to him. "It's just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth." He passed the contract to Thorin, who passed it behind him to Bilbo.

"Funeral arrangements?" Bilbo asked quickly as he took it. He stepped out of the kitchen and opened it, revealing it was much longer than expected. "Ooh."

As Bilbo read the contract out loud to himself, Thorin whispered to Gandalf. "I cannot guarantee his safety. Nor will I be responsible for his fate."

Gandalf nodded. "Understood, but that is where Litercash comes in..." All of the dwarves turned to the cloaked figure, who simply stood there, still smoking and hidden under the hood of their cloak.

Bilbo was still reading to himself, not paying attention to them. "'Total's cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding, one fifteenth of profit if any.' Seems fair. Uh... 'The present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...lacerations. Evisceration.'" He turned the page quickly, and looked up at everyone. "Incineration?"

Bofur nodded. "Oh, aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye."

Bilbo stood there, trying to take all of this in, and looking decidedly not well. "You alright, laddie?" Balin asked.

"Huh? Yeah, I fe-" Bilbo took a deep breath. "I feel a bit faint..."

Bofur stood up as he talked. "Think furnace with wings."

"I...I...I need air."

"Flash of light, searing pain, then poof! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!"

Bilbo paused seemingly thinking, looking over at all of the dwarves. "No." He suddenly collapsed on his back as he fainted.

Gandalf sighed as he stood up. "Oh, very helpful, Bofur." The cloaked figure found themself laughing quietly, already liking the sorts of this hobbit.

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