TW // smoking, relapsing

Everything was so quiet.

Yoongi chuckled humorlessly, clutching the cigarette tighter between his fingers.

Quiet.

He leaned back against the wall, looking down at the moonlit surroundings from the rooftop.

I trusted her.

Tears pooled in his eyes at the mere thought of it. He blinked furiously, drawing the cigarette to his lips and taking a deep drag.

Yoongi hadn't meant to go to the Dance building. His classes had finished just then, and he should have gone back to the dorm like he usually did.

Should have.

That was when he saw Sunoo and Hoseok rushing towards the building with Seokjin in tow. He was curious, and, of course, he decided to follow them.

He heard everything before he was supposed to.

Yoongi huffed, crushed the cigarette under his shoe, and immediately lit another.

I shouldn't be so upset about this.

He continued to observe the surroundings, feeling a familiar numbness settle upon him.

He hated this.

He hated this so much.

Yoongi looked up at the sound of quick footsteps approaching him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"

Jimin.

Of course, it has to be him.

"What the hell do you think I'm doing?" Yoongi nonchalantly raised the cigarette to his lips again, ignoring how Jimin's frown deepened at his sarcastic tone.

"We thought you stopped," Yoongi's heart sank a bit at the disappointment in Jimin's words as he continued, "Why would you start again?"

"Why would I start again?" Yoongi laughed, glancing at the younger briefly before looking up at the sky, "Do I need to give a reason to everyone else too?"

"This is not funny, hyung," Jimin grit his teeth, trying to keep his anger down, "Do you know how worried everyone was when you did not return after classes?"

"Then tell them to stop worrying," Yoongi snapped, growing irritated himself, "I didn't tell them to worry, did I?"

"Do not shout at me," Jimin glared at him, "We're just trying to be here for you. I know for a fact that I can't be as understanding or soft as Jin hyung, but you can trust me. Trust us."

"I don't need anyone's help."

"Of course, you don't," Jimin huffed, an angry sigh leaving his lips, "All you need is a packet of cigarettes and boom! All problems solved."

"If you're here to lecture me, you may as well just leave," Yoongi clenched his fists, angry at the fact that deep down, he knew Jimin is right.

"Hyung-"

"Go. Please," Yoongi pleaded, desperate to send the younger away.

He noticed how Jimin's face crumpled, and how he looked like he was going to cry for a second before he clenched his jaw and turned around.

Jimin walked a few steps towards the entrance before looking back, "Don't hurt yourself. Please."

Yoongi looked away, silent.

I can't afford more promises.

He heard Jimin sigh before he strode away, his retreating footsteps the only sound on the empty rooftop.

Yoongi stared at the cigarette in his hands as if contemplating what to do with it, before groaning in anger and chucking it across the threshold.

Why am I so weak?

*****************

Taehyung knew something was wrong the moment Jimin stepped back into the dorm.

"Did you see him?" Seokjin stood up, looking both concerned and hopeful.

Jimin nodded, and Taehyung's heart sank a bit at how his face clouded over immediately.

"What did he say?" Namjoon asked cautiously, and Taehyung deduced that he must have noted the change in expression too.

"He was-," Jimin's voice broke a bit, before he continued, "He started again."

"What?!" Hoseok and Seokjin exclaimed. Only Jeongguk looked at least slightly confused.

"Started what again?" He asked.

"He-"

"Smoking," Jimin interrupted Taehyung, eyes shining with tears, "He tried so, so hard to quit, and we all helped him so much. And then he goes and does this, and over a girl at that. Why- why did he have to do that?! Why is he-"

"Jiminie-"

"Just because I smoked once doesn't mean I relapsed, for god's sake," Everyone turned towards Yoongi at his words as he entered, "Stop being so dramatic about it."

"Yoongi hyung," Jeongguk started, "What he meant was-"

"I'm sorry to say this, but it does mean you relapsed," Jimin gritted out, anger evident in his features, "You worked so hard to quit! Why would you give that up over her? You're acting as if you're stuck in some old high school romance, for hell's sake!"

"Jimin!" Taehyung hissed, "What the hell are you saying?"

"Oh, maybe I am stuck in a high school romance," Yoongi sneered, shrugging Seokjin's hand off his shoulder, "Maybe I have relapsed. But the question is, what does that have to do with you?"

"We're friends!" Jimin exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation, "Friends are supposed to care for each other! It affects us too if you do this to yourself!"

"Then don't care about me!" Yoongi shouted at last, "Then don't be friends with me! It's not your freaking headache if I relapse or not! None of you have to care! I can live without friends! Leave me alone!"

With this, he stormed up the stairs to his room. They heard him slam the door shut immediately afterward.

Taehyung massaged his temples in concern, turning towards Jimin, who seemed frozen in shock. He exchanged a glance with Seokjin, who looked equally worried. They all knew how stubborn Jimin could get.

"Jimin-ah–"

"Don't," Jimin glared down at the floor as he continued, "If he wants to throw a tantrum like some toddler, and can live without friends as he said, then let's just let him do that."

"Jimin-ah," Namjoon sighed, stepping closer to the younger, "You know he's just upset. We need to understand his feelings and-"

"Is he the only one in the world with feelings?!" Jimin asked, turning to him, "Everyone has feelings. He needs to understand that. We have been telling him from the start to be careful with her; to not trust her too much. Is it not what a friend does? And to be very, very frank, I do not understand why he is being so hung up over her. Like, no one told him to spend so much money on her! It's his damn fault that he-"

"That's enough," Hoseok spoke for the first time since Yoongi had entered the room, "I understand you're angry, but you can't say such things about him. Just because he says so in a fit of anger doesn't mean we're not his friends. And friends don't speak about friends that way."

"Just think I'm not his friend then," Jimin let out a laugh of disbelief, "Why does everyone hold so much value to that word anyway?"

He shot a glare in the direction of the stairs before immediately rushing off to his room, slamming his door like Yoongi.

"Both of them should have toned it down a little," Jeongguk sighed, casting a glance towards the stairs as if he expected Yoongi to come down any moment.

Taehyung and Seokjin exchanged a glance again.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

𝖂𝖍𝖞 𝖈𝖆𝖓'𝖙 𝕴 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖌𝖊 𝖒𝖞𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋, 𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍 𝕴 𝖙𝖗𝖞 𝖘𝖔 𝖍𝖆𝖗𝖉?

A/N: I'll try to update every Monday if I can! Thank you for reading!

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