𝔢𝔦𝔤𝔥𝔱

In ortho, sometimes
you have to break bones.

"Camilla Donahue, thirty two year old female, car collision on the freeway, signs of pelvic pain. Last vitals show a BP of 70/40," the paramedic read off the woman's vitals, wheeling her in the ER doors.

Rushing over at the first chance I could get, I grabbed ahold of the gurney, taking the place of an ER nurse and pulling the patient through the now chaotic area. "Page Torres."

"Camilla? Can you hear me?" I watched her stabilized body intently as her terrified eyes darted around the x-ray machine she was being pulled over to. "You were in an accident. You're at the hospital."

"Yeah," she breathed. "I know."

Just like men break hearts.
Oh women, for that matter.

"Is there anyone I can call?" I questioned the woman, quickly but nonchalantly getting her ready for the pictures.

"My-my boyfriend. Wes," she spoke calmly before letting out a loud cry.

I nodded to an intern that stood at the door and they rushed off to find the woman's belongings.

Or sometimes,
a lot of the time,
you find them broken.

"Okay, Miss. Donahue. Just try to breath for me, okay? I know it hurts. Just try to relax. You're doing great."

"Okay, let's go!" I ordered the nurses that helped her into the trauma room next door.

"I'm going to get you started on some medicine. Are you allergic to anything?" I hummed, setting her up to the trauma monitor.

"No." The patient's cries became louder.

"Get her started on morphine," I ordered the nurse behind me. "Did someone page Torres?"

"Yes!"

"Page her again! And get me an ultrasound!"

I shook the frustration from my voice and looked down at the terrified girl. "You're going to start feeling better really soon, okay?" I gave her a small smile, my eyes wandering up to the x-rays that were finally here.

"Oh," I mumbled, inaudibly, at the crushed pelvis that mocked me from afar. As I do with all injuries, I listed the complications that could go with it. Internal bleeding,-

That's what happens.
Things break.

"Okay," I sighed lightly, examining her hip and pelvic area with my hands, pressing down on the fractured bones.

"What do we got?" A voice inquired from behind me. I grumbled at Owen Hunt and stepped over to the far corner of the room.

"That pelvis needs stabilized. She's stable for now but-"

"Where's Torres?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "But she needs to get into that OR."

"Stabilize it. Book the OR. And I'll find Torres," Hunt nodded to himself.

"What?" I choked. "Me?"

"Can you do it?"

"Of corse I can do it," I scoffed. "But I don't think this woman wants a resident-"

"Okay. Then wait for Torres. If I'm not back in five-"

"I know," I shushed him out the door and raced back over to Camilla.

"You doing okay?" I smiled lightly, looking between her and her now fluctuating vitals.

"I-I think so," the patient trailed off, eyes fluttering shut.

"Miss. Donahue?" I exclaimed, my concentration shifting to the beeping monitor, warning me that her systolic was plummeting.

"Oh, okay, I need to get this pelvis stabilized," I analyzed the resources in the room before calling out to a nurse.

  I rolled up the blanket that was thankfully already under my patient, adjusting it around her hips. The urgent beeping on the monitor sent me into panic mode as I watched her flatline underneath me.

"I need a crash cart in here!" I bellowed, rushing over to the other side of my patient, pressing down on her chest until a nurse rushed in beside me.

"Take over. I need to stabilize her pelvis and we need to get her to an OR and find out where the bleeding is coming from." As the nurse continued the cpr, I rushed to the other side of the bed, twisting the white material, over and over again; I took the two ends, holding them tightly and taking a deep breath before feeling the crack underneath me.

  I sighed in relief as the crash cart was wheeled in the room. Two nurses at the top half, and me at the bottom, lifted her onto the machine before I took the paddles in my hands.

"Charge to 200!" I ordered, pulling the paddles apart. "Clear."

  Looking at the monitor that didn't change, I yelled again. "Push epi! Charge to 250! Clear!"

  Sweat gathered at my hairline as I watched for  a sign of heart rhythm.

"Charge to 300!" I breathed. "Clear."

"I see sinus rhythm!" A nurse announced as I let out a long sigh and slammed the paddles down on the cart next to me.

"Everybody out!" A voice yelled, somewhat politely as the room emptied, leaving me to watch Callie enter the room.

"I got here as soon as I could."

"We need to get her to an OR. Now," I huffed, kicking up the locks on the bed.

"What happened?"

"I was a badass." I smirked lightly. "What took you so long?"

"Tom Kates is here," she shrugged.

"Tom Kates?!"

"Look at that. He thinks he's got
an opening behind Martin." A handful of hospital workers stood around the computer, watching how, quarterback, Tom Kates' injury came to be.

"And then--"

"Ooh!"

"Ouch," I winced.

"Back that up again," Owen encouraged.

"Okay, I would never ask for an autograph," Callie began. "But if he signed a consent form and there was a copy laying around-"

Dr. Bailey stared blankly. "Torres!"

"--what? Big fan."

"No, I'm not watching that again," I shook my head at the computer screen, spinning on me heel with a gasp.

"What?"

"Look who's here," Derek greeted the red head with a kiss on the cheek before returning to his sitting position.

"Hi!"

With a gaping jaw, I watched as Addison and Mark made their way over to the reception desk.

"Addison Montgomery, as I live and breath," I hummed, wasting no time to engulf her in a well overdue hug.

"Did you get lost on the freeway?" Callie exclaimed, giving her old friend a quick hug as we all gathered around to figure out why she was here.

"What are you doing here?" Bailey asked.

"Sloan's got a little something going on with the baby."

"Oh, is she okay?"

"We'll figure it out," Addison nodded with a small smile.

"I'm gonna go see if they're ready," Mark mumbled, patting Addison's shoulder before turning to me for a moment.

"Heard you were a damn firecracker this morning!" Mark exclaimed, "yeah!" awarding me with a forceful high-five before rushing away to be with his daughter.

"You know how long I've been waiting for that?" Dr. Bailey yelled at an intern that was handing her a lab report.

"What, you pull out his blood with leeches?"

"Oh, Dr. Avery!" I exclaimed from across the ER, shuffling over to the doctor that was going through a patient file.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Brady," Jackson hummed as if it were a question while closing the patient file and turning towards me. "We're talking at work now?"

"I got whipped cream on your couch, it's the least I can do," I gave him a coy grin before realizing anyone that was listening to our conversation could be thinking the worst.

  Jackson grabbed his charts and began walking with me through the ER.

"Did you hear what I did?" I asked with gleaming eyes.

"I did," he nodded slowly. "You sticking with ortho?"

"I'm not totally sure yet...I'm headed in that direction. But I want to explore my options, work more with Arizona and Derek."

"Oh, if you're looking for the daycare, I think it's-" Jackson pretended to think while he pointed around the area.

  I nudged him playfully with a smile. "Peds is hardcore." I thought of Arizona's words.

"Uh-huh."

  A small chuckle escaped my lips as I glanced up at the clock above me.

"Oh crap. I'm gonna' miss Cristina's surgery. I have to go," I smiled before sprinting off toward the elevators.

  I exhaled quietly as I caught my breath at the gallery door.

"Did I miss anything?" I questioned, taking a seat next to Meredith and diagonal from Alex.

"They just opened."

"Cristina Yang, doing a solo valve. Seems crazy to me." I watched Cristina's surgery from afar.

"Crazy but I'm not surprised," Meredith shrugged.

  My hearing focused on the conversation going on between Alex and Reed who sat in front of us.

"I told Torres she had to let you scrub in if she was cutting."

"Cool," Reed replied nonchalantly.

"Book an on-call room," Alex chortled.

"What happened to drinks first?"

"Ah, it's kind of a waste of time, right? Cut to the chase."

  I watched Alex with a gaping jaw, eyes narrowed as I fought the urge to smack him upside the head.

"Hey, Reed," Meredith began. "Do you know Izzie Stevens?

"Grey," Alex warned.

"Yes. I met her...before she got fired."

"You know she's Alex's wife," she went on. "And she's not here right now, but they're still married."

"Meredith, shut up," Alex hissed.

"No. Some people think you're divorced, and you're not!"

"Uh, you know, how about you just shut up, long enough to watch your friend tank her valve?" Reed told off as our attention went straight to Cristina.

"How-what?"

  We watched in horror as Cristina tended to the patient's insides, looking for the location of the bleeding while Dr. Altman sat in the corner of the room reading a magazine. Cristina continued to call back for her teacher but continued to be ignored.

"Why isn't Altman doing anything?"

"She's crashing."

"This is crazy. Why isn't she helping her?"

"How's it going?" An out of breath Owen rushed into the room and stopped at the door.

"Yang's killing her patient and Altman's reading "The Atlantic Monthly"," Alex told.

  Hunt watched for a moment before storming out of the room and quickly appearing in the OR below us. After a minute of bickering with Altman and an order from Cristina, he left the room as Cristina took a clamp in her hand.

I watched the rising sun through my car window as I chugged the rest of my room temperature coffee and set the empty styrofoam in the cup holder next to me.

I sighed in relief as I put my car in reverse and backed out of the hospital parking lot, driving away from my extremely long shift. Ringing of my phone made me let out a small grumble as I fished it out of my purse and put the answered call on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Autumn? Who let your dogs off their leash?" I heard Meredith's exasperated voice echo through my car.

"Dogs? What'd Alex do this time?"

Meredith cleared her throat followed by a muffled sound as she handed the phone over.

"Hey, Autumn," Lexie's worried voice dragged.

"Oh my-I'm on my way."

"Izzie leaves, and Mark gets a kid, and you two decide that the best way to deal is to get drunk and mash your genitals together?" My eyes widened as I shut the front door behind me, following Meredith's reprimanding to the kitchen.

I shook my head, setting my purse down on the kitchen table and making my way to the counter next to Meredith.

"Look, no freakin' way you get to judge us or give relationship advice," Alex barked. "Besides, you were a total dirty mistress, like, two weeks ago."

"Are we calling me a dirty mistress?" Lexie held up a finger.

"No Lex," I sighed.

"That was two years ago, and his wife didn't have cancer."

Lexie continued. "Because I've only been with, like, six guys in my whole life. Okay, Alex and I...we've done it before."

Don't remind me.

"That was recycling. It was, like, good for the environment," Lexie stuttered.

"Izzie's gone, I was horny, she was there," Alex tried to advocate for himself.

"Oh, crap. I am a dirty mistress," Lexie held her head in her hands. "Oh, god. you're gonna tell Derek, and then Derek's gonna tell Mark that I'm a whore."

"No, I am not going to tell Derek, and neither are you," Meredith turned to Alex and I. "And you're not gonna say anything. We are keeping our mouths shut. Izzie is coming home. No one needs to know."

"Izzie's coming home?" I choked.

"Hi." Everyone looked up at the almost unfamiliar voice. Izzie, in all her glory, stood at the kitchen door with a suitcase in her hand and a small smile on her face. "Know what?"

"Hey, uh, Arizona," I hummed, backing up into the reception desk that she stood at.

"Why is Callie in a hospital gown with gauze paws looking like she's going to break Lexie's femur in three different places?"

"That's oddly specific," Arizona mumbled a 'huh' as she looked up at her girlfriend who was quarantined in a nearby hospital room. "Chicken Pox."

"Why aren't you in there?" I asked with narrow eyes.

"Because she's contagious," Arizona's voice raised slightly.

"Yeah, not to you. You had the chicken pox when you were, like twelve."

"I-uh-don't think so," Arizona frowned as she turned with a file in her hand.

"Yeah, we had them together."

  Arizona shushed me before rushing off in the opposite direction, leaving me with a puzzled look on my pale face.

"What are you talking about?"

"She's on this thing!" Meredith exclaimed.

"Okay," Cristina began to explain. "If you had to choose between the thing you love...surgery...and the person you love, which would you choose?"

"You would choose Izzie, right?" Meredith intervened. "Because you two are gonna get back together."

"Shut up," Alex shook his head.

"Wait," I began but Jackson continued for me. "Why do you have to choose?"

"That doesn't matter. You just do. Which is it...surgery or love?"

"I want both." Jackson and I glanced at each other as we spoke.

"That's what I said!"

"No, you...you can't have both."

"Why the hell not?" Jackson smirked.

"Why the hell is he here?" Cristina turned to Meredith who continued her surgery on a dead guy.

"I said he could be in here because he's in the whipple, too."

"Okay, whatever. Once again, you cannot have both. You have to choose."

"Choose what?"

  Everyone looked up at the voice to see Izzie standing at the door with a lunch in her hand. "Uh, my...My pet-scan got pushed back an hour, So I thought I'd...join you for lunch."

  Cristina offered Izzie a seat next to her that she took gratefully.

"Okay. That. You have to give up that...learning the procedure," Cristina pointed at Meredith. "Put out the world until you get it, like, you know, doing the procedure is the only thing that matters, like if you don't get to do it, you'll die. That's what you have to give up."

"For what?" Izzie asked.

  Four of us answered at once. "Love."

"Why?"

"Yeah, that's what I said," Jackson chuckled.

"Okay, that's not the point," Cristina yelled. "You know you couldn't do it. You know you'd choose the procedure."

"Fine!" Meredith huffed. "If I had to choose, gun to my head, I would choose surgery. Okay?"

"Okay, well, thank you. Is that so hard to say? I don't know, why is it so bad to say that out loud?"

"Because it's crazy," Izzie sighed.

  I looked up slowly at the blonde, noticing Alex looking up at her as well.

"How-how?"

"It's crazy. Surgery...it's just a job. It's just a job. It's the thing you come home from, not the thing you come home to. And if you lose your job, you get another one, 'cause there's always another one."

"Hm," I mumbled to myself.

"But...if you lose your love...If you think you're losing your love...Well, then suddenly, nothing else matters."

"This is what you guys talk about during lunch?" Jackson furrowed his brows.

"Shh," I hummed. "Let the big kids talk."

"I'm with them," Alex said bluntly.

Things break.

"Love comes and goes. Surgery doesn't." His words broke my heart because I knew, deep down, he didn't believe them.

And a lot of the time,
you feel it's your responsibility
to put them back together.

I watched as Alex grabbed his lunch tray and sauntered out of the room.

But what if you can't?
What if they're broke forever?

"CRAP."