Theo's POV

"I love you," I whisper, not realising I had said it out loud until the words hung in the air. I pull my head back, my heart racing, almost hoping she didn't hear a thing. I am used to keeping my feelings buried deep, afraid of the hurt that came with love.

But then I went ahead and said it, the truth tumbling out before I could catch it.

Silence envelopes me, a thick blanket that feels heavier with every passing second. I close my eyes, mortified at my own vulnerability, wishing I could take it back. I don't expect a response, and part of me wants to crawl into a hole and hide. I wasn't ready to admit my feelings to myself, let alone confess to her.

But then, as if the universe has decided to toy with me, I feel her stir. The sheets rustle, and I freeze, heart hammering inside my chest. A soft, drowsy voice breaks the stillness, pulling me from my spiraling thoughts.

"What?"

Panic surges through me like ice water. I blink, my mind racing to form an excuse, anything to deflect the gravity of what I had just done. But the words get caught up in my throat and my mind goes blank.

"Theo?" she calls again softly, knocking the air out of my lungs.

She pulls away from my embrace and I immediately feel a sense of emptiness. She sits up, her hair tousled and her eyes wide, searching for mine. My stomach twists. I shouldn't have said that. I close my eyes and curse mentally.

'Fuck, I really shouldn't have said that.'

There is a beat of silence.

I just know she has her brows furrowed together in confusion, bottom lip slightly jutted out as she stares at my face in the darkness. And when I make no sign of movement, I feel her leaning over me to turn on the bedside lamp on the nightstand.

My face twists at the sudden brightness and I cover my eyes with my arm. "You weren't supposed to hear that," I mumble, finally finding my voice. "I thought you were asleep."

I hear the way her breath hitches. I slowly remove my arm and notice the way her eyes are solely focused on me. I exhale shakily as guilt washes over me. She looks as shocked as I feel at the sudden turn of events.

I can't even force myself to look into her eyes, instead, choosing to look up at the ceiling. I swallow hard, fighting the knot in my throat. "Never mind." I peel off the covers from my body and sit up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. "Forget I said anything."

"But, Theo—"

I turn to face her, my walls threatening to crumble. "Princess, please."

I turn around and get up from the bed, my heart pounding painfully inside my chest. I have always been careful with my words. And I'm not one to have too many slips of the tongue. So how did I fuck up this bad? This is not how it was supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to fall in love again.

I try to forget the look of hurt and confusion on her face. I raise my hand to unlock the door, but the sound of her voice causes my arm to freeze mid-air.

"But I don't want to forget it!"

I lower my hand and stare at the ground.

"You can't just say you love me and then ask me to forget about it."

I chew the inside of my cheeks, not saying anything.

"Look," she begins. "I... It's not like I'm going to hold you to that. We can just go back to how we were."

She pauses.

"It's okay if you didn't mean what you said."

I tighten my jaw, unable to believe I'm hearing her correctly.

"It's okay if you don't love me," she whispers to herself, and I swiftly turn around, my heart shattering into a million pieces when I see her crying.

"How could you even think that?" I exclaim in disbelief. "Princess, I—" I cut myself off, closing my eyes to gather my thoughts. "I have loved you since the day I saw you. I love you so much that I don't think three words would do justice to how I feel for you. That one lifetime would be enough to spend with you."

She looks conflicted, a mixture of emotions flashing behind her eyes. "Why are you walking away from me, then?" she finally asks, her voice trembling.

"It's complicated," I say, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"What is?"

"Everything." I run a hand through my hair, shutting my eyes to try and erase the haunting memory.

"Why wouldn't you tell me what's wrong?" she asks, crying. "Why do you keep things from me? You know almost everything about my life. And yet, I feel like I barely know you," she presses, and her earnestness makes my heart ache. "This isn't the first time you're acting strange all of a sudden. Why do you always tense up whenever the topic of love comes up? How can you say you love me and still push me away?"

"Because I'm scared!"

I recoil immediately, realising this is the first time I raised my voice at her, hating myself for it.

"Of what?" she asks quietly.

I shake my head and turn around, breathing heavily. She gets up from the bed and stands in front of me, but I refuse to look into her eyes as guilt eats me up from the inside. She cups my face with her hands and forces me to look at her.

"Afraid of what, Theo?" she asks softly.

"Of losing you," I finally admit in a low whisper.

"You won't lose me." She wipes my cheeks with her thumbs, and only then do I realise that I'm crying.

"I can't do this." I shake my head, squeezing her hands. "I'm sorry, Princess."

"Do what?" She frowns, looking up at me. "What do you mean, Theo?"

All the emotions that I had carefully buried deep comes rushing back. The reminder of my past is like a punch to the gut. I recoil, not wanting to relive the pain that had been my shadow for so long. I had hoped, prayed really, that I would never recall that damned day. But as she keeps asking me questions, more and more memories keep resurfacing, making my head spin.

"I lost someone once." I take a deep breath. "Someone that I loved... If I lose you, too, it would be the end of me."

"Don't say that." She shakes her head, wiping the corners of her eyes. "I promise you won't lose me, Theo. But please don't push me away. You have to let me in."

"It's not that easy for me," I say truthfully. "I can't go through that again. My heart can't take it."

Her expression softens, and I see the understanding flickering in her eyes. "But this is different, isn't it? We have something special. I feel it. I can't pretend I don't."

I close my eyes, tears threatening to spill. "You don't understand. What if it doesn't work? What if I lose you?" My voice cracks, the fear spilling out in shaky breaths. "I can't handle that kind of pain again."

"Neither can I," she says quietly, giving me a hopeful smile. "Because I love you. And I want to be with you, Theo."

Her words settle over me, warm like a blanket. For a moment, hope flickers in my chest, battling the fear that had held me captive for too long. I press my lips against hers, pulling her closer and kissing her deeply.

"I can't," I whisper, breaking apart from the kiss. "I can't risk it, Princess. I won't."

She looks down, and I see the hurt in her eyes. My heart twists. I don't want to hurt her, but I feel trapped between desire and fear. "I need time," I say, the words tasting bitter as I speak them. "I need to figure things out."

I take a step back, letting go of her waist. "I'm sorry. I just can't do this right now."

I walk past her and slip into the hallway, my mind a whirlwind of guilt and confusion. I want to believe that I am protecting myself, but I know in my heart that I am only running from what could be.

As I pace in the dim light of the living room, my mind screams at me. I hurt her by denying my feelings, and now I am escaping, just like I had escaped before. But the realisation settles heavily on my chest: I don't want to lose my Princess. I want to embrace the possibility of love again, even if it terrifies me.

The first time I tasted her lips I realised I was deprived. The first time I saw her sleepy, confused face smiling at me upon sunrise, I knew that's what I wanted to wake up to every day. I was okay with not having feelings for so long. But she made me realise what it meant to love someone, and to be loved.

'How did I believe that I could ever live without her?'

After a few moments of frantic pacing, I take a deep breath and return to the room. The sight of her makes my heart ache anew; she is sitting on the edge of the bed, head in her hands. I feel like I have shattered something beautiful, and the weight of it crushes me.

"Princess," I say softly, and she looks up, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I didn't mean to push you away. I just... I'm scared."

"Then don't be," she replies, her voice steady despite the emotion swirling between us. "Love is about taking risks. It's about being vulnerable."

I swallow hard, realising the truth in her words. "You're right. I'm scared because I care about you. I've never felt this way about anyone since..."

I take a step closer, the space between us narrowing. "Since she passed away. It's been so hard to let anyone in, to love again."

"I get that," she says gently. "But I'm not her. I'm me, and I want to be with you, if you'll let me."

I take a breath, feeling the fear begin to dissolve. "I don't want to be afraid anymore." I take a step closer to her. "I want to start a future with you. Together."

Her eyes widen, and the vulnerability in her gaze mirrors my own. "Theo..."

"I want to fulfill all your wishes, and keep all the promises I made to you." I smile, getting closer. "I'll cook you your favourite food. Wake you up with breakfast in bed. Build you a library of your own. Adopt a black puppy together and name him Toothless."

She raises a hand to cover her mouth, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. I kneel down before her, taking her hand in mine, my heart racing.

"Come to Boston with me," I say. "Move in with me. You can get into a college there once you graduate. I'll talk to your Dad and convince your brother. I will take care of you. I'll take care of everything, Princess. You won't have to worry about a single thing."

"Theo..." she shoots me a nervous look. "If this is just one of your ways of teasing me, then I swear—"

"I am serious," I cut her off. "I have always been serious about you. I wasn't joking when I said I wanted to take you with me that night. And I wasn't joking when I said I wanted you to have my last name. I want you. Selfishly and vehemently. I want you to be mine."

"Forever?" she asks, a small smile creeping onto her face.

"Is it too long?" I ask in return.

"Sounds short to me," she says, making me release the breath I had been holding.

I cup her face gently and lean forward to kiss her again, slowly this time, savouring the taste of her lips and this moment. She kisses me back with the same gentleness, pulling me closer by my neck. She lies on her back on the bed, and I get on top of her, deepening the kiss.

"So you love me, huh?" she asks, a faint blush tinting her cheeks.

"More than you'll ever know," I breathe out, reconnecting our lips.

THE END