A/N: put your seatbelts on 'cause it's about to be a long and rough ride. No but seriously, this is my longest chapter so far (⁠*⁠﹏⁠*)

[warning: mentions of blood and injury]

———

Noah slowly approaches me, an unreadable expression painting his face. I find myself frozen and unable to move my limbs. When he stops right in front of me, I gulp audibly, my breathing picking up just the slightest.

"Sarah said there's a first aid kit in here," he says.

I blink up at him several times and it takes a while for me to register his words.

"What?" I say, after finally finding my voice. "What happened?"

Noah raises his right hand in front of my face and my head jerks back a little out of reflex. When my eyes land on his palm, my jaw drops. My eyes widen and I cover my mouth with my hand as I see a long cut running across the length of Noah's palm that was seeping blood.

"Shit. Uh, yeah, it's here in..."

My brain stops working momentarily and I wince at the sight of his wound. I ask him to sit on the bed while I retrieved the first aid kit.

Reentering Sarah's bathroom, I look for the small kit I knew is kept inside the small cabinet under the sink. Taking out the box with shaky hands, I turn around to go back to Noah. But instead, I find him standing a few feet behind me, waiting.

"Why'd you get in here?" I ask in surprise. "Nevermind. Just, uh, stand—"

"Hey, relax." Noah interrupts me. "It doesn't hurt much." He walks closer and leans against the counter behind me. I turn around and step in front of him, placing the first aid kit on the countertop.

"I can wrap it myself if it's too much for you," Noah suggests, while I take out cotton and bandage from the box. Taking a piece of cotton gauze, he applies pressure over his cut till the bleeding stops completely.

"No, of course not. How would you manage to wrap it on your own?" I wet a ball of cotton with antiseptic liquid.

Noah extends his hand towards me without another word. Holding it gently, I clean his cut carefully and look up at his face to see if it hurts him. But he just looks down at me with the same unreadable expression.

My stomach twists at the black stare in his eyes. Unable to bear the palpable tension anymore, I end up asking him, "How did this happen?"

But I don't get any response. Maybe he hasn't sobered up yet.

His silence stretches and I still don't get a response from Noah even after I had neatly wrapped his wound. I pack the things aside and keep the kit back at its original place. I move around him and wash my hands in the sink.

"Well, all done." I smile up at him and wipe my hands on a towel. This time, Noah seems to take notice of my words and looks down at his bandaged palm.

"Thanks," he mutters.

"It's no problem. We should head back, then." I point my right thumb over my shoulder, while grabbing my phone in my left hand.

Noah suddenly holds my arm with his unharmed hand and I raise an eyebrow at him in question, my heart starting to beat faster than normal.

"I like you, Amy."

Okay, he is still pretty much drunk. I can smell the faintest hint of alcohol in his breath. And I hope that me helping him clean up doesn't make him think I like him back. I would have done it for anyone.

"I... I know," I reply quietly.

"Do you like me?" Noah asks the question I have been dreading and I briefly close my eyes with a sigh.

"You're drunk, Noah. We can talk about this tomorrow."

"I'm not drunk. Just say it," Noah presses. "Do you like me, Amy?"

"Yeah, you are a good friend to me," I say in a small voice.

"Friend?" Noah repeats incredulously and lets out a humorless chuckle, the sound of which causes my heart to momentarily stop beating. "Yeah, right." He scoffs. "After all this time you still view me as nothing more than a fucking friend."

Noah's grip on my arm tightens and I try not to visibly wince. When I don't reply and just look up at him in shock, he continues.

"Do you have any idea how much I tried to win your heart?" He grits his teeth and tears brim in the corner of my eyes. This is not the sweet Noah that I know and like. This Noah is starting to scare me now. "How much I tried being all sweet and soft towards you? You know, my fucking cheeks hurt from smiling so much around you."

No.

No, no, no. This is not Noah. He is lying. This can't be happening right now. He is just drunk. He doesn't actually mean whatever he is saying to me. This is not real.

"You said you liked my smile," he says in a quiet voice, his gaze dropping down to the floor below.

'I did? Why can't I remember saying it?'

"That night in my party, you said you liked my smile, Amy." Noah meets my eyes again, his voice rising. "And you loved the milkshake I made for you."

Noah drops his forehead on mine and holds my other arm with his wrapped hand. He closes his eyes and breathes heavily. He feels like a ticking time bomb and I'm too scared to breathe or even move an inch. My arms hang limply on my side as Noah's hold on me tightens once again.

"Why don't you like me, huh?" He speaks up again. "Why are you playing so hard to get? Or is it because of someone else?"

He removes his forehead from mine and looks into my eyes now. "Is it because of him?" He asks pointedly and I knit my brows together in confusion.

"The one that carried you in his arms after you passed out," Noah adds, as if trying to make me understand, and that's when it clicks. He is talking about Theo. Because I remember Sarah saying something similar. Even though, I don't recall that happening, either.

"He seemed pretty close to you," he says bitterly.

"You didn't let me kiss you that night," Noah states. "Did you kiss him?" He continues, anger lacing his tone.

"Wha—"

"Did you sleep with him?" Noah cuts me off and narrows his eyes at me.

My jaw drops and I scrunch my face in surprise and disgust. "Noah, what the hell are you talking about? And you don't have any right to ask me that."

"That doesn't answer my question," he firmly says and exhales sharply through his nose. Noah clenches his jaw when I don't give an answer.

"So, you have." He comes up with a conclusion on his own and my lips part in shock. "You would kiss him and not me?"

"Okay, seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?" I shout in anger.

"Don't you see it, Amy?" He shouts back and his grip tightens, even with his injured hand. "Don't you see that I like you? Are you really that oblivious to my fucking feelings? I have been nothing but nice to you from the start. Then why can't you return my feelings, huh?"

His voice breaks towards the end and so does my heart. I never wanted to hurt him or lead him on. It was Sarah that kept pushing us together, saying things that weren't true. So how is it my fault if Noah started believing them, too?

"Noah, you are hurting me." I whimper when his hold gets tight enough to leave behind bruise. He doesn't respond or even show any signs that he's at least heard me.

Noah suddenly leans down and captures my lips in a bruising kiss. My eyes widen and more tears well in them. I try to push him back and shove him by his chest but he doesn't budge. He's too strong for me even when he's drunk. The kiss is one-sided and my skin crawls. He completely dominates me, leaving no room for movement.

It isn’t a sweet or romantic type of kiss that Theo and I have shared before. Noah's unharmed hand slides into my hair and roughly grabs onto it. He groans against my lips when I don't kiss him back. I close my eyes in defeat and he finally breaks apart from my lips after a while.

Noah grabs my jaw and tilts it upwards to make me look at him, but I refuse to do so. My lips feel sore from his rough contact and my bottom lip quivers.

This doesn't feel like it's real. I don't even feel like I'm in my own skin. And at the same time, it feels all too real. I stupidly hope that none of this actually happened and I'm just having a nightmare. My worst nightmare and I need someone to wake me up.

When Noah's heavy breathing evens out, I finally peel open my eyes and manage to remove his hands from my body, although, only because he lets go this time. I keep the tears at bay. I'm not going to cry now and most definitely not in front of him. What would Theo think of me? I feel like I cheated on him even though we are not together.

"You wouldn't even look at me at first," Noah begins. "But then I gradually became your friend through Sarah." He pauses before continuing, "Maybe if I continue being all sweet to you, you'll open your legs for me, too."

I react before I could think twice and my palm collides with the side of Noah's face. His head shifts to the side at the impact and he raises his hand to touch the skin where my palm just left a stinging sensation.

Noah composes himself, still holding the side of his face and looks at me with a shocked expression. He blinks a few times, as if breaking from a trance. I expect him to apologise or at least look guilty for what he did and said. But when nothing happens, I exhale shakily through my nose and exit the bathroom.

Noah doesn't call out for me or try to stop me. And even if he did, I don't know how I would have taken it. I look down at my arms and sure enough, bruise in the shape of handprint was forming. But what makes me grimace is the small trail of blood flowing down the length of my left arm from when Noah had pressed his bandaged hand.

I was going to make things clear with him tomorrow since I didn't want to prolong the inevitable. And I was also gonna put an end to Sarah's overbearing assumptions. But of course nothing happens the way I want them to be.

My skin is crawling just by thinking of the way he kissed me. The weight of his hold still seems to linger and I am trying so hard not to break into tears. How could he do this to me? Was it a lie all along? He only treated me nice to... I can't even bring myself to say it. The thought alone leaves behind an acrid taste in my mouth.

I get down the stairs in a frenzy and immediately walk out the front door. I can't bear to be in this place anymore. I don't even want to look at Noah's face. Or Sarah's, for that matter. Wasn't she the one who said he is a really nice guy and that we'd look good together? Yeah, a nice guy, indeed.

Getting outside, I hurriedly walk towards my parked car and unlock it with the keys. I could hear footsteps and realise that someone is following after me. However, I don't look back because I don't care anymore at this point.

"Amy, wait! What happened?" Comes Sarah's voice, causing me to halt in my tracks. "Why are you leaving so soon?"

"I've stayed enough, Sarah." I don't turn around to meet her eyes and reply in a quiet voice. "I want to go back now."

"But why?" She whines and steps closer to me. "You've stayed longer than this before."

"I know, I just—" I sigh when she steps in front of me. "I don't feel well."

I am glad for the darkness outside because she wouldn't be able to find my eyes welled with tears. I also try to keep my replies short in fear that my voice might give away my state.

"Y'know Noah got hurt. He cut his hand with a piece of broken glass after someone knocked the flower vase. It was my mother's favourite one. Gosh, I'm so screwed."

I remain silent and wait for the time she would shut up. She doesn't, of course.

"Anyways, I sent him upstairs to get the first aid kit from you since I saw you heading there. Did you see how badly—"

"I don't care, Sarah." I snap at her. "Now, please. Let me leave."

"Why are you getting moody all of a sudden?" She pouts and puts her hand on my shoulder.

Even though I know it is Sarah touching me, her touch still felt like it just burned my skin and an image of Noah's face flashes in front of me. I immediately remove her hand harshly and she looks at me in surprise.

"Woah. What happened?" She tries holding my hand but I take a step back.

"Just let me go, Sarah. I'm not feeling well right now."

"Yeah, which is why I'm asking what's wrong." Sarah persists.

"God, when will you learn to take a hint?" I shout at her. "Don't you see that I'm not in the mood to entertain your whining?"

"What?" Sarah immediately looks offended. "Why are you treating me so harshly? It's my birthday today."

"Right. Of course. How could I forget that it's your birthday?" I bite out. "Forgive me for ruining your night. Why don't you head back inside, then, and continue the celebration?"

"Amy, that's not what I meant. I care for you and I just wanted to make sure you're—"

"You know what I would really appreciate?" She opens her mouth but I continue before she could respond. "If you stopped caring so much about me. Because so far you have done nothing but cause problems for me."

"Is this about Noah?" She asks hesitantly. "Because if it is... I don't see what I did wrong. I was just trying to—"

"And that's exactly my point!" I exclaim in exasperation. "You never see or realise what you're doing wrong. And I am tired of this, Sarah. I'm tired of being forced around." I shout. "It is honestly exhausting being your friend," I say, calmer this time.

"How could you say that?" Sarah puts a hand over her chest. "I-I am your best friend."

"You sure don't act like it."

"Amy, you are starting to sound really mean now," she says in a berating tone. "But, it's fine. I forgive you. I know you don't actually mean any of that." She smiles at me. "You'll be back to your old self once you've calmed down."

I am feeling utterly at a loss for words. This is the person that claims to be my friend; the one that I call my best friend. I think back to our freshman year when she approached me first, and befriended me. I wish that never happened. I would have rather had no friends than someone like her by my side.

I want to tell her that I meant every single word that left my mouth, but then realise she isn't even worth it.

"Wow," I breathe out in disbelief.

Sarah looks at me in confusion as I walk past her and open the driver's side door to my car. I get inside and slam the door shut, igniting the engine. Putting on the seatbelt, I drive away from the goddamn place and away from her.

———

A/N: so that happened ... Thoughts?

If this chapter gets 50 votes, I'll do another Theo's POV chapter. This time, revealing more about him.