where do i even begin to tell the story of how i managed to fall for a guy named jay?

heeseung has a lot of insecurities. when he decided to break sunoo's heart just so he could not hurt him anymore in the long run— he knew that he'll never be able to find love again.

the nightmares and pain from his past... heeseung didn't want to burden anyone with his problems.

it happened suddenly.

jay is a great friend. he never showed any prejudice when he found out that heeseung was sunoo's ex-boyfriend. he was never the type to assume anything, unless stated by the person themself.

jay... he doesn't take my breath away— but rather, he gives me a reason to breathe.

"hyung, i want you to find love... the kind of love that you deserve to have, because i want you to be happy too."

he chuckled bitterly when he remembered what sunoo had said to him, days after jay left for his internship.

he knew. sunoo knew how heeseung gradually developed feelings for jay. he doesn't need to say it anymore, because he already figured it out.

if it's that obvious, then why can't jay see it? is it because he doesn't feel the same way?

heeseung drinks another glass of scotch. i should've known better than to wait for three years. i should've just moved on.

he almost spilled his drink when he noticed the person walking towards the counter. heeseung tried to glance, and jay was now right beside him— totally unaware of his presence.

it looks like i'm not even... part of his life anymore.

that thought made heeseung a little bit disappointed. maybe it's because of the alcohol taking effect, but his feelings are getting heightened.

"that seat's taken." he grumbled, making sure jay could hear him.

"oh, i didn't—" jay stopped talking after he made eye contact with heeseung.

he looked like he'd seen a ghost. jay's eyes were glued to heeseung, but he still hasn't uttered a single word.

i missed him.

heeseung cleared his throat and tore his eyes away from jay.

"you look like you've seen a murderer," heeseung raised both of his hands, as if he's surrendering. "it's just me, heeseung. your friend— if you can even remember."

did that sound too sarcastic?

"uh, sorry. i was just a bit surprised. how are you? i thought you're with sunoo, why are you here alone?" jay finally spoke after collecting his thoughts.

it would be better to act casually, right? it'll be fine. jay mentally notes to himself. he wasn't prepared to see heeseung like this, but he handled it better than the elevator situation last time.

heeseung shrugged. "my only company for tonight is alcohol. what about you? where's jake?"

jay observed heeseung's behavior. is he drunk? how long has he been drinking anyway and why did sunoo leave him unattended?

"jake's with his blockmates." he raised an eyebrow as heeseung drank another glass. jay decided to settle and sit beside him while waiting for his drink.

looking at him in a closer view, it felt like heeseung didn't change. his hairstyle is different, the way his hair is parted now gave him a more mature look. but he still looks... the same. or so i remember.

"so," jay speaks up after a few minutes of awkward silence. "how... how are you?"

he sees how heeseung smirks like he just asked a funny question.

"well, i don't know how to answer that." heeseung tilts his head, "but i guess i'm still the same old me. what about you, how was milan?"

the drinks finally arrived, and jay thanked the bartender before answering heeseung. "milan was a breath of fresh air. i learned a lot there."

"that's nice to hear. i'm happy that you chose that opportunity."

jay looks away, getting a bit awkward again. is he telling me that he's glad that i left...?

"i apologize... for leaving—"

"oh please, don't be." heeseung chuckled softly. "what for? you did what you think was the best at that time. i'm not blaming you for running away— because i would, too."

he stares at the glass half-full in front of him. it feels like the night is getting too long now.

"still... it was a shitty move to do."

"i don't know. i did the same thing to sunoo before so i'll just think of it as karma's way of paying me back." heeseung shrugs like it's not a big deal.

it's not a big deal to him. maybe it never was. him liking me... of course, it was already three years ago.

jay forced a smile. "uhm, thanks i guess."

"let's not talk about that. what about you and jake?" heeseung changed the topic, leaning sideways to face jay.

jay looked a bit confused. "what about me and jake?"

"come on, you can admit it to my face. are you two dating now?"

what?

he thinks i'm dating jake.

"no, it's not like that... we're—" jay paused for a second. "—we're... working some things out."

heeseung nodded. the air between them seemed to feel more heavy than it was earlier.

"i see. well, i wish you happiness. and you don't have to worry about me, i've moved on a long time ago."

hearing those words from heeseung didn't feel comforting. jay felt like he was beginning to suffocate, as if it gets harder to breathe.

looks like i'm the only one who got stuck on the same page three years ago.

-----------

📷 @nishi_rk tweeted.

my muse @sunscript 💫

8937 likes | 226 retweets

replies:

@chenleave you two are the reason why i can't enjoy the party 🙂 my single ass is sobbing
@parkwrites wow so pretty 😍
↪@sunscript where tf are you
↪@parkwrites i'm going to your table now 🫡
@leejeno it's been years and i still can't get over you 💔🥲
↪@nishi_rk ???
↪@leejeno FUCK NO THAT WASN'T ME PLS CHENLE STOLE MY PHOENFHWJSK

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sunoo raised an eyebrow when the crowd suddenly started cheering for someone who just came inside the hall.

gods he's so pretentious. he rolled his eyes, staring at his friend who's now walking towards their table.

"you look adorable as always, sun." sunghoon cheerily smiled, sitting on the empty seat beside him. he looked polished, as if he had just finished a business meeting.

he greets the other members of their club, his smile never coming off his face.

"and you look ridiculous as always." sunoo responds, to which sunghoon laughs at.

"i missed you too," he leans forward to plant a kiss on the side of sunoo's head as he always does when he greets him. "where's your boyfriend?"

sunoo points at the direction to where ni-ki is— currently seated beside hiyyih and jungwon. "i told him to socialize with his friends."

"ah," sunghoon quickly tore his eyes away from the scene, glancing back at sunoo. "and where's our emo friend?"

"at the bar section. he's probably with jay now."

"really?" sunghoon smirked, looking like he just found some interesting news. "should we join them? i want to get some booze too—"

sunoo quickly shakes his head. "no! what if we interrupt them? let's just stay here."

"why? are you planning something?" sunghoon eyed his friend.

"what? of course not."

"sounds boring." sunoo glared at his response.

"i wanted to spend more time with jay earlier, but he was with jake. they looked like they patched things up already."

sunghoon's mouth formed a little 'oh'. "no way? damn, and here i thought jake's the turtle. i guess our friend lost his confidence huh."

sunoo shakes his head. he doesn't want to meddle with whatever's happening between them, but he just hopes that it won't end up in chaos.

not to mention there's another chaos about to happen, sunoo thinks whilst glancing at sunghoon. especially involving this one right beside me.

"so, are you going to let jay stay at your penthouse?" sunoo asked.

sunghoon laughed a bit. "maybe? we'll see about that. i might do something that will make him hate me more."

he then stood up, grabbing his glass of champagne. "and can you tell nishimura to take some pictures? i just need it for documentation, thanks."

sunoo sighed. this is gonna be a very long night, indeed.

-----------

[ hiyyih owes me money 🧌 ]

jungwon:
riki
where are you going
don't LEAVE ME HERE

riki:
hiyyih is literally right beside you
i'm just gonna take some pics
brb

jungwon:
hiyyih is literally wasted
WHAT AM I GONNA DO HELLO

jake:
you can join our table wonnn
sit here beside me

jungwon:
hyung 😭 thank you 😭
but isn't that jay's seat

jake:
oh yeah lol
he's prolly drinking at the bar section so no worries
u can sit here

jungwon:
OKOK THANKS 🙏🏻

hiyyih:
who's that behind you won 👀
isn't that your worst nightmare 👻
LMFAOOOOO

jungwon:
stfu go drown in alcohol or smth

-----------

University of Yonsei @students_of_YU tweeted.

Nostalgia in the air?
Alumni Homecoming Event 2023 was a full blast! 🍀🤍 We extend our warmest gratitude to all the guests and sponsors who attended the event, we thank you for you utmost time and effort.

We'll see you soon, Yonsei! 🔥

36490 likes | 1038 retweets

replies:

@yeonjuned ayo is yonsei drunk lmfao what's with the photo
↪@marklee isn't that jay? lol
@chenleave nostalgia in the air? you mean gayness 🧍🏻‍♀️
@sunscript ️🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️
@parkwrites aww isn't that romantic? such a lovely ambiance 🥰
@hiyyihglow WHERE'S THE CANDID PICS I WANNA SEE MYSELF TOO
@soobeans they look cute tgt
@simjake nice photo 😊

----------

hi everyone! sorry for the loooong break 🥹 how are y'all shsnsns

next chapter: the turns have tabled 😉