"hi, i'm jake. what's your name?"

that wasn't the first time that jake talked to a stranger. he likes interacting with new people, and he was ecstatic when he reached middle school because he wanted to gain new friends.

"i'm jay."

jake remembered how he got so happy hearing jay's voice. the boy was more quiet compared to their other classmates, and jake wanted to see if the boy would also ignore him just like the others. jay never shared his toys to his classmates, and he's the only one who doesn't have a seatmate because he doesn't want anyone to sit beside him.

and yet, jake's the first one.

the first one to sit beside him and talk to him- the only person that jay allowed to.

it made jake feel a sense of pride. it's like being given a privilege that no one else could ever have.

"why are you so quiet?" fifth grader jake asked.

"i'm not, i just prefer listening more." jay looks at him with his dark eyes.

"then, why are you sitting alone? you don't like other people sitting beside you?"

jay shakes his head. "we're fifteen in total. it's an odd number, and someone's going to end up without a seatmate. i'd rather it be me than anyone else, and i figured our classmates won't like sitting alone either."

jake stares at him with awe. he has never met someone like jay.

as jake got to know him more, he realized how he grew attached to jay being around him. he's clingy, and jay never tried to push him away even though he seems annoying at times.

it was like jay's tolerating him. his whims, his demands- everything that jake says, jay always listens. jay became the person that i always need, the person that i can count on.

my person.

every time i see him getting close to someone else, the pit of my stomach would start to bubble up- the bitterness stirring inside me.

while jay is the epitome of selflessness, i was the opposite.

i don't like sharing my best friend.

jake tried his best to hide it. he didn't want jay to know his thoughts, because then he'll discover how selfish he is. he'll definitely run away from me.

and then, heeseung happened. the guy caught jake's attention- and for a while, his world revolved around heeseung.

i really like him, but there was no chance.

truth to be told, jake was devastated when heeseung rejected him. he questioned everything, even himself. it felt like he wasn't worthy of any love. he felt like trash.

seeing his best friend hanging out with heeseung made him feel worse. i know they're friends... i know, but even for a brief moment... i want jay to not care about him.

no matter what he does, jake's selfishness is eating him up.

and now...

hearing his heartbeat race and being nervous around jay... he wants to throw up. he doesn't want this. he doesn't want to be selfish.

i don't want to feel this. not with his best friend. not with jay.

--------

[ jakey ⚽ ]

jay:
hey
are u still in class? practice is gonna start in 5 minutes
where are you?

jakey ⚽:
heyy
i'm sorry i don't think i can go to practice today

jay:
why what's wrong?
you okay?

jakey ⚽:
yepp dw i'm fine
my stomach's just acting up a bit 😅

jay:
it's still hurting?
maybe u ate smth bad
did you take medicine yet?

jakey ⚽:
idk maybe lol i'll just take a nap
i took some earlier

jay:
do you want me to buy you more? i can drop by your apartment

jakey ⚽:
no it's fine 🫡
no worries i'm not dying
just be a captain there and enjoy the practice 😁

jay:
okay
rest well ⭐

---------

jay park @cornjay tweeted.

late night practice 🌑

584 likes | 63 retweets

replies:

@serim i can't even feel my legs anymore 💀
↪@cornjay that's bc u didn't do the warm up properly
@yeonjuned i miss :'( but i miss @soobeans more 😉
↪@soobeans i don't miss you
↪@yeonjuned well that's bc we literally saw each other earlier 😚
↪@soobeans yeah that was terrifying #jumpscare

---------

jay sniffed, brushing his disheveled hair while zipping up his jacket. their practice is already done thirty minutes ago, and he's the last one to come out of the shower.

when he went out of the locker room, the field was already empty and so were the bleachers. these bastards literally just left me here. jay adjusts the strap of his duffel bag before walking towards the gate.

usually, jake is the one who walks with him right after the practice. they talk about their day and just separate ways after they go out of the university.

is he still sick? i should call him. he takes out his phone and dials jake's number. after two rings, the other line answered.

"hello?"

"hi, are you feeling better now?" jay asked while he stopped walking for a bit to talk to jake.

"ah, yeah i'm fine. i just woke up and my tummy doesn't hurt anymore." jake's voice still sounds groggy.

"that's good, do you want me to buy you dinner?"

"thanks but i said i'm fine, jay. i can just order something and have it delivered. are you back to your apartment?"

jay shakes his head as if jake could see him. "not yet, i'm on my way home." he heard jake mumble something in the background but he didn't understand.

"go home and eat your dinner, bff. i'm going back to sleep."

"alright, call me if you need anything."

"mhm... bye, see you when i see you." the call ends quickly, and jay thought about how jake's voice seemed to sound weaker than usual. i hope he gets better soon.

he continues to walk outside of the university, but he stops when he sees someone familiar walking on the other side of the street.

jay stares for a little bit, observing how heeseung walks without a care in the world. the guy is just staring at the ground, oblivious to his surroundings. well, he looks like he's deep in his own thoughts.

he decides to cross the road. jay quietly follows behind heeseung, taking steps fast just so he could catch up to the guy. when he's finally a few meters away from him, he reaches out- grabbing the edge of heeseung's dark brown coat.

"who-" heeseung turns around, then stops when he sees jay in front of him. "jay?"

"you look a little bit lost. tough day?"

heeseung smiled, "not really. just tired from work." he takes another glance at jay. "you just got out from practice? it's already 7 pm."

jay nods, now walking beside the older. "are they giving you too much work? i heard that newbies are usually the ones getting bullied in a workplace."

"no, they're not bullying me. i'm just adjusting to the place." heeseung laughed, then grabs the strap of jay's bag.

"hand me your bag."

he frowned. "what is this, a new scam? no thanks, i can carry my own bag."

"let's exchange bags, then."

heeseung takes his backpack off and gives it to jay, who had no choice but to let the older do what he wants. he just watched as heeseung now carries his duffel bag.

"why's your backpack so light? is this just for decoration?" jay can't help but comment while he wears heeseung's backpack.

"i don't bring a lot of things." heeseung looks at him. "you should try that some time, because it feels like you put your whole wardrobe inside your bag."

jay scoffed. "well, you were the one who volunteered to carry that. if it's too heavy then give it b-" he tries to take his duffel bag away but heeseung was quick to dodge his hand.

"i didn't say that. i was just suggesting." heeseung gives him a teasing smile.

this asshole. he looks like he's having fun annoying the hell out of me.

jay feels his phone vibrate so he checks it out.

-------

[ my roomie 🍑 ]

my roomie 🍑:
jaaaay
i'll be having dinner with riki so i won't be around later
don't wait for me and have your dinner ok?

jay:
okayyy sun~
are you going to sleep at riki's dorm?

my roomie 🍑:
i think so lol
i'll be back in the morning
if heeseung's home, u can ask him to eat dinner with u
i'm sure he's going to eat alone

jay:
oh okkk
don't worry about us and just enjoy your time with ni-ki 😙

my roomie 🍑:
ok ok hahaha byeee

--------

"so, what are we having for dinner?" heeseung asked while peeking at sunoo's text messages. jay rolled his eyes and pushed him away.

"anything that's edible."

heeseung points at a familiar restaurant just a few steps away from them. "what about that?"

that's the same restaurant that jake and i had lunch from. "nope, pass. i had my lunch at that place too."

ah. heeseung lightly taps on the strap of jay's bag. "you and jake, right? you two had your lunch there?"

he raised an eyebrow at him. why is he inserting jake now? "uh-huh. obviously. why?"

"nothing, you're right." heeseung walks away, abruptly grabbing jay's wrist in the process.

"we should eat someplace else. i don't think i'll have an appetite if i eat there."

what the hell is he even saying? and why the fuck is he holding my hand?!

--------

inactive @cyberlee tweeted.

902 likes | 77 retweets

replies:

@parkwrites ok but where's the caption 🧍🏻‍♂️
@cornjay can't u atleast take a nice pic ????
↪@cyberlee no 😊😊

--------

was about to update last night but i got too absorbed in watching orange blood's concept trailer (and my mind won't shut up about theories) AAAAAND MC SUNOO 🫡😭 his acting skills are 💯❤️‍🔥 enha actors me thinks

anyways, the endgame ... the endgame is.... iykyk :)