jay didn't get a wink of sleep that night.

he doesn't know how things are going to be from now on. jake just got his heart broken by heeseung, and he feels sorry for his best friend.

he feels sorry— yet, jay couldn't help but be relieved when heeseung rejected him. am i a shitty friend when i say that i was thankful? yeah, i am.

not to mention that he gave heeseung a bruise on his face, when it wasn't his fault in the first place. he knew that heeseung won't date jake, no matter how much jay tries to act as a cupid between them.

i knew... and yet i still got angry and punched him like a fucking asshole.

jay sighed, picking up his phone. he looked at the other bed and noticed that sunghoon didn't sleep in their room.

where did that lunatic go? he checked his phone and saw that jake sent him a message.

------

[ jakey ⚽ ]

jakey ⚽:
hey bff
i'll be going back to seoul with jungwon and hiyyih today
we'll see each other when you go home tomorrow ☺️

jay:
wait what?
wru rn
don't tell me you left already?

jakey ⚽:
yep lol
we're at the airport now
i was supposed to tell you, but you were asleep earlier 😅

jay:
sht
can you wait for me? i'll just pack my things

jakey ⚽:
nah it's okay
you can stay there with them
i think it's just better if we go ahead first
i just want to avoid heeseung for the mean time

jay:
but i want to be with you

jakey ⚽:
lmaooo why are you so clingy 🥲
don't worry about me and just have fun there
you'll go home tomorrow anyways so we'll still see each other
i think i kinda want some alone time for now

jay:
oh
okay
rest well
pls text me if you need anything

jakey ⚽:
aye aye 🫡🫡

--------

"are you happy now? you made them go back to seoul faster than flash," sunoo glared at sunghoon across the table.

since only five of them left, they just decided to stick around for the whole day. sunoo demanded that they eat breakfast at the buffet area of the hotel, and he didn't want anyone to ditch that.

"oh was it just me?" sunghoon points his finger at heeseung, who is quietly sitting beside him. "what about him?"

sunoo rolled his eyes. "you... for pete's sake hoon, when will you grow the fuck up?"

"again, why are you only mad at me? to be fair, it was me who got slapped. it still stings, you know."

ni-ki glanced at sunghoon and sighed. he just saw his best friend crying and his cousin getting heartbroken— all in one night. who could he honestly blame for all this mess?

"you probably deserved that slap." jay muttered while eating his food. he's been looking down, avoiding eye contact with heeseung who's sitting in front of him.

looking at him makes me feel guilty. i haven't even apologized for punching him.

"you think i deserve that?" sunghoon scoffed, "you have no fucking idea, jay." his voice was laced with coldness.

"did you at least say sorry to jungwon—"

"that's just ridiculous. i will apologize when it's my fault. now can we just eat in peace?" sunghoon fakes a smile before eating, whilst ni-ki calms sunoo down.

jay continues to eat, glancing at the person in front of him. he finally sees a glimpse of the bruise on heeseung's face. he didn't even bother to put band-aid on it.

"at least heeseung got to apologize to jake, right? such a gentleman." sunghoon starts again, making everyone at the table look at him with disbelief.

"he rejected him nicely too. also, he just let jay punch him because he thinks everything's his fault. amazing, couldn't be me though."

what in the actual fuck, jay uttered. this douchebag just keeps talking.

heeseung puts his fork down. "what happened to eating peacefully?"

sunghoon shrugged. "sorry, that only applies to me."

jay held the bread knife up, "please just shut up. i don't have the capacity to listen to your bullshit today, i might stab you."

sunoo stares at his three friends, who apparently can't wait to murder each other. he feels ni-ki's hand on his, holding him.

"i'm sorry, i think i ruined your friends and jake's semestral break..." he whispered. riki smiled and planted a kiss on the side of his head.

"it's not your fault, hyung. they have their own issues, you can't possibly control them."

right... i think i need to know what's happening, sunoo thought.

-------

[ my roomie 🍑 ]

my roomie 🍑:
where are you?
i thought we're going to the market

jay:
you can go ahead sunnn
i have a headache :(((

my roomie 🍑:
are you sure? heeseung's not gonna be joining us too
so you can come
you're avoiding him right?

jay:
eh?? lmaooo no
i just have a headache
and my blood pressure gets high everytime i see sunghoon so...

my roomie 🍑:
really? 🤨
you're not avoiding heeseung bc you feel awful about punching him?

jay:
hahahahahhahaha
yeah i do feel awful
i'll apologize later 😶‍🌫️

my roomie 🍑:
good
i don't want my friends to hurt each other
and pls, don't be too harsh on hyung
he's got a lot to deal with

jay:
got it bub
anw i'll sleep now 😅

my roomie 🍑:
mhm sleep well

-------

when jay woke up, it was already 5 pm. he stretched his arms, feeling a bit refreshed. he doesn't want to leave the bed but he needs to do something.

he took a shower and got dressed, making sure that he doesn't look dead now. when he finished, he grabbed the paperbag and headed out.

jay took a deep breath before knocking at the door of heeseung's suite room. if he's not here, then i could just go back—

the door opens— and heeseung is leaning on the door frame, looking at him. "why are you here?"

he frowned. "am i not allowed to be here? let me in," he pushed heeseung aside and walked inside the room.

"that's not what i meant. i thought you were with sunoo..." the older followed him, watching his movement. "do you need anything?"

jay sits on the couch then proceeds to glance at him. "come here."

"why?"

"oh for fuck's sake, i'm not going to punch you again. just sit here." he taps the seat next to him.

heeseung didn't ask again and just sat beside him. he observed quietly as jay took out the ointment and the band-aid that he bought at the pharmacy earlier.

jay did not say a thing and just held heeseung's face, tilting it to the side where the bruise had been. he opens the ointment, and then puts an ample amount on his index finger before applying it onto the bruise.

heeseung felt the cold substance on his face. jay's finger was softly dabbing the ointment on the bruise, careful not to press into the wound hard.

i want to hate him. for hurting jake.

but how can i hate him when he's also my friend?

jay brushed the thought off and went back to putting band-aid on heeseung's bruise. he didn't even notice the older's stare lingering, observing the reactions on his face.

"...is this your apology?" jay almost froze when heeseung talked.

he met heeseung's eyes, and he realized how close their faces are to each other. jay cleared his throat, finally moving away from him.

"yeah. isn't that obvious?"

"it is. thanks," heeseung mumbles, showing his lopsided smile. "although a simple sorry would have sufficed."

"i'm sorry." he sighed, "i know you don't want to hurt jake... i was just..." jay was lost for words.

"i get it, jay. you like him that much so you feel his pain too."

heeseung taps his shoulder, trying to comfort him. "i'm sorry too. jake is a kind person, but i don't like him that way."

jay glanced at him. "i know. you don't have to apologize."

"maybe... you can try telling him about your feelings."

"...what?" jay looks confused. "why would i do that?"

heeseung shrugged. "just... try. there's a possibility that he'll like you—" his sentence gets cut off by jay.

"possibility? what am i, an idiot? he likes you! don't you get that? it doesn't matter if i confess to him, he still won't fall in love with me."

heeseung lets out a sigh. "i know that. i was just saying there's a chance."

"who cares if there's a chance? it's useless, hee. you're the one that he likes, not me. and i don't have the capability to undo that, neither do you."

"you can't just reprogram jake how you want to— he's not a computer," jay continued, looking straight to heeseung's eyes.

oh shit. did i talk too much?

"i understand," heeseung smiled at him and patted his head. "please don't punch me again."

jay clicked his tongue. "sorry, i got carried away." he felt relieved that heeseung didn't get hurt at what he just said.

"uh-huh, sure you did."

i have no control of other people's feelings towards me. heeseung notes jay's words inside his head. always remember that, heeseung.

------

heeseung's past: 🔜