"...get him out of my sight."

a slap. another hit. it's almost always accompanied with curses.

it becomes a routine. in between those days, i have come to accept the fact that i deserve this.

hatred.

they hate me. they hate my existence. they wished for me to be dead, and i can't blame them for it.

how can one atone for the sins that they have made?

how can one be forgiven when the consequence has already happened?

how... can i be forgiven for something that is not my fault?

----

heeseung woke up with a throbbing headache. he sat up on his bed, his hand brushing through his hair which is now drenched with sweat.

fucking nightmare.

he subconsciously reached his bedside table to grab his phone. damn it, i think i forgot to take a pill earlier.

the door of his room opened, revealing his dormmate.

"yo dude, i was about to wake you up... eww, why are you sweating a lot?" jeongin eyes him with suspicion. "wait a damn minute, did you-"

"no i didn't, please get your mind off the gutter." he quickly shuts him off.

jeongin laughs. "okay, okay. don't be so defensive bro."

"anyways, jay called me earlier. he said you're not answering your phone so i told him you were doing sleeping beauty's regimen. then, he yelled 'fuck! jake's gonna get me bald if he doesn't come!' and hanged up. that leads me here, i was planning to wake you up in case jay's actually going to be bald."

"uh..." heeseung blinks at him, processing all the words that he just babbled. "okay, thanks."

he didn't understand half of what he was saying, but he didn't want to listen to jeongin again. him and his loud mouth will be the death of me someday.

"great! tell jay that he shouldn't shave his hair whatsoever because that kind of hairstyle won't suit him-" jeongin stops talking when he sees heeseung getting up of his bed.

"-okay i'll go now before you strangle me, bye!" his dormmate ran away before he could even reach the door.

he checks his phone for messages and, lo and behold, 27 missed calls and 108 unread messages all from jay. does he have unlimited calls and texts or something?

he sighed. it's already past 6 in the evening, and he only slept for three hours. his head is still throbbing, but he feels awful if he ditched the dinner. he doesn't want to disappoint jake too.

i guess i'll just force myself then.

------

[ jongseong ]

jongseong:
dude pls reply to me
it's been two hours alr
are you even alive atp
AIN'T NO WAY YOU'RE STILL SLEEPING
IT'S ALMOST 7 WTF

heeseung:
hey
sorry i overslept

jongseong:
oh thank fuck
wdym oversleep
bro you hibernated

heeseung:
lol stop exaggerating
i just took a nap

jongseong:
a nap?
that was no nap
what u did was almost a coma
you wouldn't even wake up after i called you for god knows how many times

heeseung:
my phone's on silent
did you have dinner alr?

jongseong:
ofc not
we were waiting for u
so hurry tf up bc i'm gonna die of starvation here

heeseung:
oh ok
you guys could've just went without me

jongseong:
yeah as if jake would do that
you know he'll wait for you

heeseung:
right
i'll be there in a few

jongseong:
👍👍

--------

busy 😪 @simjake tweeted.

😚✌🏻

397 likes | 86 retweets

replies:

@nishi_rk where r u going at this hour?
↪@simjake omg mom? 😨 when did u hack riki's phone 😔
↪@nishi_rk fvck u
@cornjay where's the dinner
↪@simjake you blind? i'm the dinner 😋
↪@cornjay i knew you were sick in the head 🤕🤕

--------

"stop eating that! we haven't had dinner yet," jay grabs the cup of ice cream away from jake, who is halfway from finishing the dessert.

"no, give that back!" jake tried to take it back but the boy pushed him away. "please? let me just finish that cup, jay."

"you can eat another one later after dinner. now let's go before i starve to death."

"but heeseung's still not here," he pouted.

they've been going back and forth through the night market while waiting for the guy to come, but it's been almost two hours already and they're bored and, well, hungry.

jay resisted not to roll his eyes. "i told you we should've just left him. you should know that sloth doesn't leave his bed."

"as if you're better than him, you made me wait for five hours last time."

"the fuck you mean? i had diarrhea that day and you wanted to go shopping? you're the worst here."

jake glared at him before taking a glance at his wristwatch. should we just eat? i don't think he'll be here soon though.

"fine, let's go." he held jay's hand and nodded. i guess i won't see him today, he sighed.

the two started walking to the restaurant but stopped when jay saw heeseung running towards them.

"oh look who finally came," jay nudges jake to look at the direction where heeseung is coming.

he saw how his friend's face lit up at the mere sight of the guy. he was sad earlier, but now even his eyes look like they're sparkling. he's that happy, huh?

"sorry," heeseung utters while slightly out of breath. "sorry for making you wait. i overslept."

jake shakes his head fast. "no! it's totally fine, should we eat now?"

he lets go of jay's hand to walk beside heeseung. jay is now walking behind the two, his hands inside the pockets of his jeans.

"totally fine my ass, you should pay for my food if you have conscience." he interjects.

heeseung laughs, giving him a thumbs up. "alright then, dinner's on me."

--------

busy 😪 @simjake tweeted.

@cyberlee @cornjay late dinner at the night market 😴

802 likes | 126 retweets

replies:

@parkwrites who's your dinner
↪@simjake what?
↪@parkwrites oops, typo. i meant what's your dinner, but you can answer that one too ☺️
@nishi_rk bring me some dumplings
↪@simjake gtfo of here scavenger 👹

---------

jay park @cornjay tweeted.

tw: jumpscare

638 likes | 77 retweets

replies:

@simjake can you atleast make a decent caption
↪@cornjay no 😘
@sunscript aw cute ^^
↪@cornjay babe no pls don't lie about things like that, what if jake believes you 😟
↪@sunscript what if i kick you out of my apartment

--------

"woah!" jake claps his hands, clearly entertained by the moving octopus in front of him. dinner went by fast, and the three of them are just strolling inside the market while checking the different stalls.

"do you want to eat that?" heeseung points at the roasted shrimp beside the octopus.

jake takes a pause while staring at the seafood. "...huh? uhm— maybe next time, my stomach feels like bursting now." he laughs softly.

what? jay couldn't help but scowl when he heard his friend's reply. he's allergic to shrimp, that dimwit.

he didn't say anything and just opened his phone to annoy sunoo. maybe it would be better if he thirdwheeled those two, at least he won't see how stupid jake acts in front of heeseung.

"jay, look!" he stops idling when jake pulls him towards the aquarium full of beta fishes.

"remember sushi? i miss him..."

heeseung joined them, watching the aquarium too. "who's sushi?"

"his fish." jay replied shortly. he didn't really want to talk a lot today, he feels tired.

"oh, he must be so cute."

"he was, not until jay's cat swallowed him whole." he feels jake's death stare towards him.

not this again, i know he'd bring this up. "i told you, it wasn't mito's fault!"

"so you're telling me that sushi jumped inside his mouth voluntarily?" jake deadpanned.

"maybe? who knows what fishes think. besides, you named your fish sushi! mito probably got confused and ate him for real." they stopped bickering when heeseung laughed at them.

"just watching you guys fight is enough entertainment," heeseung smiled, "so mito's your cat?"

jay nodded. "yeah, mito. he's with my dad because i can't take care of him now, and sunoo doesn't like pets inside our apartment."

"hee, wanna know what's the full name of his cat?" jake grinned and whispered to heeseung's ear.

"wait... really?" heeseung reacted. "that's one weird name for a cat."

"that's what i said." jake stares at jay before reaching to ruffle his hair. "because who in their right mind would name their cat mitochondria?"

"me, obviously." jay pushes him away and fixed back his hair.

a certain memory plays inside heeseung's head as he watches the two bicker again. i didn't even realize how long it has been since...

now all that's left is a memory.

jay noticed heeseung's smile faded, so he tapped his shoulder. "hey, are you tired? we can go home now if you want."

the older shakes his head. he doesn't want to go back to his dorm, he won't be able to sleep either way.

"no, i'm fine. thanks."

"okay, just tell me if you want to go back to your dorm so i can come with you." jay replied, putting his baseball cap on heeseung's head.

heeseung nods before going back to listen to jake, who is now talking to another old lady who's selling crabs.

at least for some time, those nightmares won't get to me.

---------

/scratches head/

yeah so i think i might've messed up the timeline lmao i hope i find a way to fix this 🤠🤠

anyways, cc is having problems so if you want to share smth with me, just post it on my board ^^