Episode: Season 8 - Sacrifice Pt. 1

I hummed an old AC/DC song under my breath as my fingers moved across my swollen stomach lovingly. Just beneath my skin, I felt a tiny kick and I smiled absentmindedly. But as I glanced upwards once more, gazing out the smudged glass window beside me. Just the mere remembrance of those striking candy-apple green eyes made old wounds reopen, my mood souring considerably. There had been no word from Dean since that night he left 7 and a half months ago. Cas either for that matter.

Although Sam and I suspected that was because of Metatron, the new big bad in town. He may be an angel like Cas but he wasn't good, that much was certain. Sam tried to keep up with it best he could but with trying to help me take care of not only my own pregnant self but Yasmin as well whilst doing these Trials was taking it out of him. Truthfully, it was making him sicker and sicker. It only made me that much more worried about him. Ever since what happened that night, Sam had backed off, going back into friend-mode.

And honestly? The feelings we used to share for the other were slowly fading to nothing at all - on both sides. I'll always love Sam. But I love him as a best friend, not a lover. Not like I love...loved Dean. Maybe that's why I had receded so much into my own world, my own feelings the past several months. It's the only way I could cope with him being gone.

My warm breath fogged up the glass then in the old beater Sam was currently driving down the road. The tiny white church was slowly coming into view up ahead, a large, black iron cross rising up like a spire at the very top. This was going to be Sam's last Trial. Which is why we had kidnapped my father to complete it. Maybe not my proudest moment but it had to be done to help Sammy. I wasn't worried though - at least I tried not to be. If anyone could do this, Sam could.

I was jut about to step outside into the crisp morning air as the car came to a stop when the familiar rumble of an engine met my ears. As soon as the sleek, black Impala came sidling up beside us, I sent Sam a sharp look.

"What is he doing here, Sam?" I asked, my voice dangerously low.

"Look, if we want this thing to work, we need to make sure we have Crowley completely secure. We need him," Sam explained, slightly annoyed at my outburst although I knew he understood why.

I hadn't wanted to be here already since I'd been having pains in my stomach. Honestly, I hadn't been feeling well since I woke up this morning. But now I really didn't want to be here. Sam stepped out of the car then, letting the door slam shut behind him just as Dean did the same with Baby. My breath hitched in the back of my throat at the sight of him, familiar butterflies returning as I took in his appearance - same short blond hair, slight five-o-clock-shadow lining his sharp jawline and stunning green eyes that made even the most hardhearted girl do a double-take. The only difference I noticed from now and the last time I'd seen him was the dark circles ringing his eyes and the tired lines beside his mouth.

Oh, that mouth. My fingertips went to my lips. I still remembered the taste. I shook my head then, willing the thoughts away as I slowly stepped out of the car - which I may add wasn't the easiest thing in the world to do when 8 and a half months pregnant. Dean's green eyes instantly snapped to me. I held my breath as our eyes locked - green boring into brown before slowly, his gaze slid to my very round, very noticeable stomach showing in the little black sundress I wore.

Dean blanched at the sight - possibly from shock at how big I was but more than likely at the reminder of my betrayal. Or at least, I supposed it was. Truth be told, all I really knew was that it was a Winchester baby. Dean said nothing to me as he quickly greeted Sam and went to help him secure Crowley in the church. In fact, it wasn't until after I'd said a slight 'hello' to my father a little later and was headed out of the church that the boys had already vacated that I'd caught a bit of the first conversation between the brothers in months.

"How you feeling?" Dean was asking him.

"Honestly, for the first time in a long time, it feels like we're gonna win. I'm good," Sam admitted.

I could still sense the tension between them as they spoke though neither of them brought up what had torn the three of us apart.

"What does the good Father's playbook say now?" Dean asked him as Sam retrieved what he needed from Baby's trunk.

"Well, now that we got the consecrated ground, I just, uh, I slip Crowley one dose of blood every hour for eight hours and seal the deal with a bloody-fist sandwich. That should do it,"

"Your blood's supposed to be purified, isn't it? You ever, uh...you ever done the "forgive me, father" before?"

"Uh, once. When we were kids. Which is why I have no clue what to say now," Sam confessed truthfully.

"Well, I mean, I could give you suggestions if you want," Dean offered and I bit my lip, wondering just what that might be.

"Okay. Yeah, sure,"

"Alright. Well, I'm just spit-balling here, but if I were you...uh... Ruby. Killing Lilith, letting Lucifer out, losing your soul," Dean began to tick off all the bad things Sam had ever done since we began this life of hunting, the three of us.

Then came what Dean considered Sam's biggest mistake. One we all knew too well.

"Being with Parker after I went to Purgatory. For starters." Dean said, briefly holding his hands up defensively as Sam muttered a quiet 'thanks' before gathering up the last of what he needed from the trunk.

I rolled my eyes as I melted back into the shadows just as Sam stepped into the church. I made a quick phone call then to check up on my baby girl while I was away. But after learning she was fine, I headed back outside only to find out Cas had come back, wanting Dean to come with him to take care of the angel problem going on upstairs. And after arguing with Sam a good five minutes about me staying or going, he finally convinced me to go help the two of them. But not before one last hug goodbye and wishing him luck. I admit though, at that one sad, tired expression on his face as I left, it was almost enough to make me ask Cas to bring me back.

Almost.