Note: So, for this chapter I did it very different from the others since I used dialogue from an audio video I found on YouTube. If you've never seen them, I suggest you do - they're incredibly made and yeah, just amazing. So if you'd like, you can listen to it while you read the part at the end where the video begins or just while you read to set the mood. Or not at all, only a suggestion. :) Okay, enjoy!

The expression on his face was like literal knives in my heart, stabbing right into my organs, burning me from the inside out. I felt shame wash over me like a tidal wave, drowning me in misery. And I deserved it. I deserved it more than anything in the world.

"What...what is going on here?" he asked quietly, almost as if he didn't trust his own voice as his eyes flicked between me and Sam.

Sam cleared his throat, saying nothing as he ran a hand through his dark brown locks anxiously. My mouth opened once, twice like a fish gasping for air, unable to speak. And what could I really say anyhow?

"Dean, this..." I started to say when I finally regained the ability to speak, "This isn't what it looks like-"

"Yeah? So what is it then, Parker?" he asked, his voice lacking the love and sincerity he always used when talking to me, this time it was completely devoid of emotion, "Please enlighten me as to what you and Sam were doing!"

I swallowed the hard lump that had formed in my mouth, feeling fear rise up inside of me like bile in my throat. Strands of ebony hair fanned out across my shoulder as I took a step forward, reaching for my lover's hand. He stepped away from me though and it was like a slap in my face.

"Dean, please, this-this isn't what you think. Sam and I were just-" I started but he cut me off abruptly.

"Don't! Just don't!" he bit out, voice cold as steel before finally, it faltered and his voice broke as he continued, "How long, Park? How long has this been going on?"

"Dean-" I started but he cut me off.

"Do you even know who the father is?" he asked me quietly, eyes landing on my still-flat stomach.

Unbeknownst to me, hot tears had begun to slide down my cheeks as I stared back at him in desperation. It felt like I couldn't breathe as I opened my mouth to answer him. But he didn't give me the chance to before his green eyes flicked to his little brother who was purposely not meeting his gaze.

"And you, I... Sam, how could you?" he asked, nearly choking on the words as he spoke them.

I could feel my heart shattering in my chest and I knew Sam felt it, too.

"I...let this person in. I let her in, I don't let people in," Dean continued, voice breaking on the last word.

A sob bubbled up from my throat but I pushed it down, brushing a hand across my cheek to wipe away the quickly-falling tears.

"You knew this - you've taken her from me!" he spat then, pointing at me before flicking his eyes back to Sam's, "I needed her and you've broken me."

"Dean, it was never like that! You gotta believe me, man. I never planned on-" Sam began but Dean cut him off.

"On what? On taking away the love of my life? On-on falling in love with her?!" Dean roared, green eyes as hard as chips, "But I know now I'm the only one I can count on here. You made sure of that many years ago, Sammy,"

I let out a cry, trying to stifle it with my hand to no avail as Sam let out a slight scoff, shaking his head.

Dean's gaze locked on mine then and I almost wish it hadn't, "But you...you had me fooled. You were the only one I never thought would do this to me, Parker..."

"What?" I asked in a whisper, feeling my heart cracking in my chest like a priceless vase knocked off a table, shattering into a million tiny pieces.

"Is he the first guy you've been with? Is he the first one you turned to when I was trapped in Purgatory?" he said, tears brimming in his emerald orbs.

"I want you," I choked out, tears blurring my vision as I took a step towards him.

But Dean stepped away from me, back towards the doorway, "It's easier with him,"

"Ah, this is stupid," I mumbled under my breath, shaking my head as I ran my hands through my hair in desperation.

He only went on though as if I hadn't said a word, ignoring me completely, green eyes boring holes into me as he pointed a finger at Sam incredulously, "He doesn't make you feel sick when you look at him... You don't feel ashamed at what you did?!"

Suddenly, he shoved the nightstand by the wall with his hands, making it fall over with a loud crash, earning a flinch from me as he shouted, "Because he didn't fall apart! He didn't go to Purgatory, he didn't have a breakdown! And he could cope with what he saw!"

A sob bubbled up from my throat once more and escaped unbidden as I shook my head at Dean, "It wasn't for that, Dean! I don't love him like that!"

"How do I know that's true, Parker?! How do I know it?! Because I'm the one standing here trying to figure out why I didn't see it coming, why I couldn't stop it!" he cried, tears finally rolling down his cheeks in waves.

I whimpered, covering my mouth with both hands as I tried to control my crying. But it was useless, it felt like I couldn't breathe. I felt Sam shift from beside me and I glanced up to see tears in his eyes, too.

"You know what? This is, uh...I think this is it," Dean finally said after a moment, sniffing slightly as he ran a hand over his face.

My heart stopped in that moment as my eyes turned back to him, terrified of the words I knew were coming next, "Dean, what-what are you saying?"

"I'm saying we're through, Parker...it's over."

His words were soft but they cut me like a knife, like what I imagined the demon blade felt like if it touched your skin, burning you from the inside out - tearing you apart completely and irrevocably. But what hurt most? It wasn't his words - it was his actions. It was the turning of his back, the way his boots moved across the carpet, the sound of them moving down the hall - away from the Bunker, away from me. I tried to run to him, run after him. I even made it to the hallway but he just kept walking, never once looking back.

Sam grabbed me around the waist, hauling me back as I screamed his name over and over, leaving my throat raw and hoarse. I thought if I shouted loud enough, tell him how sorry I was, how I literally hated myself for everything...if I said it just once and he'd hear it...he would forgive me. It was only after I'd wrenched myself free of Sam's grasp, bounding my way up the steps before racing outside, watching the Impala speed down the road and out of sight...it was only then as the tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision, that I realized Dean was well and truly gone.

Dean had left me.