Episode: Season 7 - How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters

I sat across from Dean, absentmindedly smothering my Ore Ida french fries in ketchup. People bustled all around us in the restaurant as Sam droned on to Bobby about the new case. People had been showing up dead with a bluish tint to their skin and hundreds of pounds lighter than they were before. It was strange, to say the least.

"Missing person number three. Disappeared eight days ago," Sam told us and I frowned.

"Well, that explains all the people who got eaten in the last eight days," Bobby pointed out from across the table.

"Yeah. Question is, what happened to him?" I asked and both men shrugged in response.

Sam was about to speak again when he was interrupted by the sound of Dean's grunting across from us. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion at my boyfriend as he hungrily bit into his Turducken.

"Dean. Uh, so, what do you think?" Sam asked his brother, arching an eyebrow.

Dean's eyes were glazed over and he blinked lazily at Sam before answering, "I'm not that worried about it,"

"Excuse me?" Bobby asked, twisting in his seat to glance at Dean.

"That's funny, right? I couldn't give two shakes of a rat's behind," he chuckled between bites of his burger, "Is that right? Do rats shake their behinds or is it something else?"

The three of us shared a wary look before Sam began to glance around the restaurant. Dean didn't seem to be the only one who was a little out of it - everyone was. They all seemed to be overly-interested in their Turducken burgers.

"Gimme that!" Sam said, ripping the burger free from Dean's hands as he protested adamantly.

"There's some funky chicken in the TDK Slammer, ain't there?" Bobby asked, eyeing it warily as Sam inspected it.

Dean complained later once we'd gone back to the house we were currently squatting in, "This is stupid. My sandwich didn't do anything. I don't know what you think you're gonna find,"

"There's something wrong with you, Dean," Bobby told him seriously as Sam unwrapped the burger on the table.

"Are you kidding? I'm fine. I actually feel great," he waved him off as he re-positioned himself on the kitchen counter, "The best I've felt in a couple months. Cas, black goo. I don't even care anymore. And you know what's even better? I don't care that I don't care,"

He made a face then, moving his head back and forth like a robot or something.

"I just want my Slammer back," he grumbled, eyeing it again where it lied on the table.

"Dude, you are completely stoned," I scoffed at my boyfriend, "Just like Ranger Rick was,"

"Just like the dinner rush back at Biggerson's. And everybody is loving the Turducken." Bobby reminded us all.

Suddenly, before anyone could say anything further, Dean's Turducken burger on the table erupted a thick, gray goo from the middle, squelching as it did so. We all crinkled our noses up in disgust, eyes widening in surprise.

"I think you angered my sandwich," Dean pointed out, making me snicker briefly at the comment just as he hopped off the counter, "That-that's in me?"

"On-only half of it," Sam said, trying to be comforting.

"Does that snot look familiar?" Bobby asked, gazing down at the unsightly goo.

"Okay, so whatever turned Gerry Browder into a pumpkin head and is currently turning Dean into an idiot-" Sam began before Dean interrupted.

"I'm here... Right here," Dean piped up, annoyed.

I walked over to stand beside him, my hand reaching up to rub the back of his head before pecking his cheek affectionately.

"-is in the Turducken Slammer at Biggerson's," Bobby finished for him.

"Yeah," Sam nodded.

"It's in the meat," I concluded, making both men nods their heads in agreement.

"If I wasn't so chilled out right now, I would puke," Dean shrugged nonchalantly, making us all gaze over at him in concern.

An hour and a half later, we were all on our way to Dick Roman's factory where these stupid Turducken sandwiches were being made in the first place.

"How's he doing?" Sam whispered to me from the front seat, twisting around to glance back at us.

Currently, Dean was sound asleep, snoring fitfully as he lied down on the backseat, his head in my lap.

"He's sleeping it off. Tryptophan coma," I shrugged, running my fingers through his short, blond hair lovingly.

He looked so peaceful asleep like this - so carefree. So much like the little boy I'd known all those years ago back when we were kids. In a way, he would always be that little boy,I supposed. And I would always be that little girl secretly in love with him. I smiled at the thought, pressing a gentle kiss to his temple. He stirred in his sleep briefly, his hand clutching onto my knee involuntarily. He would always be my Dean.

"So you think they're okay?" I heard Sam whisper to Bobby,"I mean, truly?"

"Yeah, they're all right now," Bobby told him after a moment of silence.

"Good. So you don't worry about them?" Sam started before Bobby cut him off.

"What? You mean before all this?" he questioned in response, his hand resting on the steering wheel as we sat in the parking lot.

"Yeah, yeah, I kinda mean more like ever since they broke up the first time," Sam explained, "I mean you ever feel like they're-they're going through the same motions but not the same couple, you know?"

"How could they be?" Bobby shrugged.

"Right, yeah, but what if-" Sam began only to be cut off by Bobby once more.

"What if what, Sam? They won't break up again, trust me on this,"

"How do you know that for sure?"

"'Cause she's in love with Dean, you dodo!" Bobby finally snapped, his voice just loud enough to be filled with anger but low enough so as not to wake up in Dean who was still asleep in my lap, "She'll love him 'till they're both dead."

Sam contemplated this, slowly nodding before a slight smile graced his face.

"That's good...'cause they deserve to be happy. Both of them."