ততততত

𝐈 𝐌 𝐎 𝐆 𝐄 𝐍

"Is it too tight?" the seamstress asks, her eyes lifting to the mirror to meet mine.

It feels like she just trapped my lungs in a box and locked it with a key, suffocating every living breath from me. Today, of all the bloody days of the week, is the day in which I have to get fitted into my wedding gown by Dauphine, a woman who clearly has thin patience and is just here to do her job. This fitting is nothing that I want to do. No matter how extravagant and gorgeous the satin and lace gown is—golden threads, diamonds, and an endless train—it won't change how much I dread the wedding day to Leighton.

More so, last night's rendezvous with Tobin has me off guard. He was drunk out of his wits, and I would've cut off his supply if I'd known how disheveled he'd become. He'd blackout at times, and I knew his senses would return when he called my name in a tired confused moan: Imogen?

Does he remember calling me his wife? A woman he intends to marry despite the betrothal that would bring the lands to a ceasefire?

He hailed the most ludicrous idea from his lips. The elixir. He wants me to drink the elixir to prevent pregnancy, because he wants to do what husbands and wives do behind bedroom doors. The desire beneath his skin put me on edge, because I couldn't let him steal me when I knew he'd regret his actions in daylight. It's why I demanded to go home, to get away from the temptation of the man standing before me. Half-naked. Scarred. Sunkissed. Perfection.

Yet, the thought of making love to Tobin doesn't frighten me as it should. In fact, the amount of dreams that plague me in the night are more than I can count, considering the occurrence becomes common. He's always there, even when he's not. Most of the time, he's bare to the buttocks.

"Imogen?" Dauphine tugs at the ribbons once more, and I gasp at the sensation.

"It needs to be loosened," I manage to squeak, to which the seamstress obeys.

Elena assists with Dauphine, holding out the endless train of my gown behind me, smoothing out any folds or wrinkles developing in the satin fabric.

Dauphine sets her hands on her hips. "So? What do you think?"

This dress looks like it was regurgitated from hell and vomited straight onto my body. It's gorgeous, but considering my circumstances, it diminishes its beauty.

I swallow my pride and force a smile. "It's beautiful, Dauphine."

In the reflection of the mirror, I can see Elena smirk at my blatant lie. She knows better than anyone in this castle that I refuse to marry Leighton, and yet do it so willingly in order to protect my kingdom. Still, with just under two months until the wedding, I need to come up with a plan.

Elena clears her throat. "I think the princess has had enough of these alterations. It just needs to be taken out a bit, right?"

"Yes, it appears that way," Dauphine frowns as she glances at Elena. She's not done with the fitting, but Elena and I clearly are. "Let me see if I have any extra fabric. Wait here for a moment."

I nod my head. At this point, I'd do anything to get Dauphine out of this room with this dress, but it appears I'm imprisoned in it until Dauphine can find the extra material. Fortunately, she exits my bedroom chamber, leaving me alone with Elena.

I suck in a heavy breath, my body fighting against the resistance of the satin and corset beneath. "Gods, get me out of this goddamn thing."

"Just remember this isn't your true wedding gown," Elena meets my gaze in the reflection of the mirror. "This won't be a true marriage."

Nothing ever seems to be. My marriage to Leighton might be real before the ancient scrolls and kingdoms, but it will never be real in heart. Now, my thief presents himself as an option I can indulge in in the secrecy of my bedroom, but he'll never be able to truly be called my husband. I can't grow his children in my womb, nor can we raise them freely. Together, we won't be able to prosper in the way he longs for.

Tobin always looks at me with so much hope, but I can never be the wife he wants to bring back home to that rundown cottage by the crystalline waters of Mt. Elora.

I glance at Elena as Tobin's offer clouds over my thoughts. The question would be so easy to ask. Just a simple can you bring me the elixir for tonight? and she'd know exactly why. Whether she'd condone it is entirely out of my jurisdiction. As long as she keeps it a secret from my father.

Tobin views me as a wife, and he's ready to reap the benefits of it, but only if I'm ready to do so as well.

"I don't want Leighton to be my husband," my voice squeaks, hardly making a sound throughout the silent air. "I can't fathom the thought of bringing his children into the world, let alone letting myself get close to him at the wedding ceremony."

Elena sucks in a breath, hesitating to answer until her shoulders loosen. "Like I said, this won't be a true marriage. This is just a means to keep the peace between Adorid and Lagulon."

"Do you think I'll be bound to him forever?" Because I don't think I can live knowing that there's no end to it, not when my heart now eternally beats for another man.

Elena shakes her head. "You won't be. Your father will find a way out of this."

But he hasn't, and my doubts creep in that he never will.

I spin around, facing Elena's green irises. It pains her to see me wither away day by day, but she knows that there's a thief out there rebuilding me every night. I tell Elena everything. From the day he left after betraying my family's greatest secret, to him returning to meet Ruslan in his grave. I told her he came back with a light burning within him, a faint hope that everything will be alright. To Tobin, we are indestructible, an unbreakable stronghold with a concrete foundation.

"Tobin..." my voice breaks at the mention of his name. "He wants me to take the elixir. The one that... prevents pregnancy."

Elena's eyes widen. "You haven't...?"

"No! I mean, not yet," I stutter, tugging at the fabric of my dress to get more oxygen into my lungs. "I'm just afraid that we're being foolish if we decide to... you know..."

Elena remains quiet as she ponders over my demands. The elixir to prevent pregnancy. That's what I want. I just need to be sure that it's not done out of a rash lustful desire, because that seems to be the territory Tobin and I have tread towards lately.

"Do you love him?" Elena finally asks.

The answer has never been so vivid. I love him deeper than just tangible touches. The kindness that dominates those brown irises has me charmed under his spell. The scent of evergreen reminds me of him, his devilish smirk when he's about to do something absurdly stupid, and the low coarse laughter that rumbles deep from his chest. I love the way he speaks of his sister, his family, his loyalty to his blood despite his life falling to pieces. He makes mistakes, but he also repairs his errors with bricks and mortar, trying to salvage whatever wreckage he can.

"He's everything," I answer, not even hesitating. "I didn't think I'd let anyone dare get close to my heart, but that bastard of a thief stole it before I could stop myself. Our love is delicate, fragile, but it's alive."

Elena sets her palms on my upper arms. "Then I'll get you the elixir."

"But are you sure it's a good idea?" I mutter. I'd be giving Tobin my virginity, a precious gift meant to be given after a marriage, but nothing between Tobin and I is ordinary. This will be done out of wedlock within a war that could tear our love into a million pieces.

"There's only two months left until your wedding," Elena explains. "I want you to know how it feels to be with someone you love, to give yourself to them. You need to have a memory of that when you enter into the Adoridian castle before Leighton taints that too. From what I know, Tobin is a good man, and I know he won't hurt you in the midst of it."

I swallow. "What if the elixir doesn't work?"

"It will," she insists. "I use it with my lover all the time, and I haven't fallen with child."

My heart suddenly pounds against my ribs. Images of bodies entwined crash through my mind, flushing my cheeks red. Tonight, I will view Tobin as my husband. I'll give him my virginity to take, to steal, to scavenge and keep for his own before Leighton damages me completely. We'll make love under the stars, or perhaps at the edge of the lake in Mt. Elora.

I'll give him everything I am if he gives himself in return.

Elena nods her head at me as Dauphine enters the room again, carrying a spool of fabric. Only now when I gaze at the princess standing in a wedding dress, I see a bride prepared to run away into the arms of a thief.

For tonight, that princess will know how it feels to lay alongside a man.

── •✧• ──

This is a bit of a shorter chapter, and I apologize for those who wish for longer Tobigen chapters. I was just looking at my master plan for the story and AHHHH so much is about to happen in these next ten chapters! So buckle up, and get ready for the ride!

Also, thank you to all the kind comments and messages I've received about OAN. It brings a smile to my face when I read each one.

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