ততততত

𝐈 𝐌 𝐎 𝐆 𝐄 𝐍

I find my father in his private gardens, spending some needed quiet time with his beloved wife and son. He stands under the branches of Ruslan's cherry tree, surrounded by the white orchids that my mother used to adore.

My father lifts his gaze over to me, a weak smile perching his thin weathered lips. This situation between Lagulon and Adorid has aged him faster than I could imagine. The grey tinge in his once blonde hair becomes highlighted in the fading sunlight, and the wrinkles at the corner of his stormy eyes and forehead create the most wisened of crevasses.

"Duckling," he mutters as he swings an arm around me, swaddling me into his fatherly embrace. With the world turning faster and faster with every passing day, a hug from a man that's always been a foundation for me makes it stop for just a moment. "I was hoping you'd come out here."

"I figured I'd find you spending time with mom and Ruslan," I say, because despite their early stolen deaths, they're still anchors that ground our orbiting lives.

"I can still hear her voice in the silence," my father admits, brushing his fingertips atop my mother's stone. "She's looking down at me from the heavens and saying 'Orion, what the hell are you doing? How'd it come to this?'"

I tip my attention down to the name scrolled on my mother's gravestone: Adirya Navarro Mironescu. She's the one who kept my father in line when he felt like he should be falling. She was the wise one behind my father's reign, the one who had the answers to every problem that arose on Lagulon's turquoise coasts. They governed this land in perfect harmony.

Or so they thought.

Their kingdom forged from such helpless love fell to pieces the day we lost Ruslan, and then years later, my mother. Since then, we've been two wandering souls, father and daughter, in a desolate world that's out for our blood.

It's how we ended up in this blasted quarrel. In our search for peace, we had to make a sacrifice, and it's why my father bound me to Leighton in marriage, even if the marriage itself will be the death of me. Still, there's a part of me that holds on hope that Tobin—my petty, predictable, yet ridiculously charming thief—will find a way to rescue me from a king that will surely wring every living breath from my lungs.

"Have you and Lorcan figured anything out?" I ask, knowing the answer full well. "There's still no end to the betrothal, is there?"

My father's sigh tells me all I need too. It's the sound of a man burdened with more than I can fathom. I've asked for the past few months for him to end this madness, but he cares so deeply for his kingdom that he'll send his own daughter to a man who'll break every bone in me.

"I'm not sure there's anything in our power to persuade Leighton to reverse the betrothal. We've thrown every possibility out there, and he's rejected them all. He's quite determined to marry you, and I can't say he's been subtle about his intentions."

I swallow. Leighton has always tried to be amicable when it comes to what life will be like proceeding our marriage, but ever since my trip to Adorid and my visit within his bloodied courtyard of nightmares, I don't know what reality to expect. All I know is that he wants me to carry his bloodline, to be the queen who will birth his heirs.

The chances of Tobin succeeding at fulfilling his father's final wish is for me to inquire to my own father, the king, for help in a fight that might be a dead end.

I wring my fists into my dress, the question waiting at the tip of my tongue. "Remember a few months ago when I went to Adorid?"

My father winces. "You don't need to remind me of what I've done. I shouldn't have let you go to Adorid."

"It's not that," I mumble, subtly brushing my knuckles against the fabric of my dress where the scar lies. "Lorcan told me about what happened ten years ago, about the assassination attempt on Leighton."

"It's a tall tale, Imogen," my father mumbles. "No assassination happened. He still lives."

"He told me about a man named Berin Parias, how he came to you for help in order to succeed in his plans to restore Adorid to the kingdom it once was," I swallow, knowing I now walk on thin lines. I can't reveal too much about what I know about Berin, because Tobin filled in quite a few blanks that I know Lorcan would've never revealed. "But Lorcan told me he didn't survive long after his return back to Adorid."

My father's gaze travels over to the garden of white orchids, a distance in his grey eyes. I can see the memory in the reflection of his irises, a reflection passing through. He remembers that day. He probably remembers every single cry Berin made in order to save Adorid from further destruction.

"I failed that day," my father finally admits, his voice cold like granite yet broken like a cord, "because if I'd acted sooner, if I gave him what he wanted, the world would be a different place."

"What did you say to him?"

My father shakes his head at the question. "It's not important what I told him, but it's what he told me. He was watching the kingdom he protected fall to the hands of a heartless king, a king he refused to serve for the sake of his family and people. In the end of this all, I feel as if I've broken every promise Berin asked of me if the assassination failed."

I look away, but my father's voice cuts me off guard.

"Berin asked me to keep his family safe if they made it to the Lagulonian borders—his wife, his son, his daughter—but I only received word that his son made it back alive. Before I could grant him safekeeping, he stole a horse and fled shortly after his arrival."

Tobin.

My father knows of Tobin's existence.

Tobin ran in fear, agonized that Aspen and his mother failed to cross the border into Lagulon when his father died to Leighton's blade.

"He's been wreaking havoc in our borders ever since, and I know it's him," my father shakes his head. "Berin warned me that his son was highly skilled."

Petty, predictable thief. A thief I adore so boundlessly.

"What if..." I can't believe I'm asking this damn question right now. "What if there was a way we could track down Berin's son?"

"There's no use even trying," my father mutters. "If we had the army to defeat Leighton, we would've done so long ago. Even if he could provide some sort of intel on Adorid, it's been ten years since this all happened. We'd be fighting a war completely blind." My father sets his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it slightly before brushing past me to leave. "It pains me to see you have to marry him, but this is the only way that I can keep the people of Lagulon safe."

"But we won't stop trying to come up with a solution, right?" I ask him as he takes steps further away from where I stand.

He pauses, looking over his shoulder. Those grey eyes that mimic mine are sullen, sunken in with sorrows deeper than what he chooses to reveal. As the final rays of sunlight touch where my father stands, it's clear that the fight inside of him has dwindled to nothing. He's no longer fighting to save his daughter, but doing what he can to keep his kingdom intact from being swallowed whole by another.

To my father, the last straw in the fight was long ago. He will hand me to Leighton.

He will expect me to be his wife, to be the queen of a kingdom that I won't be able to control.

As soon as my father exits the gardens, I storm off to my bedroom. There has to be a way to fight Leighton, because if Tobin's willing to try, then I must too. Yet, it feels like everyone with the power to do something has given up hope. My father certainly has, and he probably has convinced Lorcan of the same.

Every stomp I make down the corridor must sound like an bull trudging through mud, but it seems to alert Elena that something isn't quite right. In only a matter of seconds, she's chasing behind me attempting to ease the anxious fury winding circles inside of me.

"Princess, is everything alrigh—"

"No."

"Is there something I can—"

"No."

Elena chases after me as I storm into my bedroom chamber. I attempt to slam the door, but Elena catches it and latches it shut much softer than I would've liked. Right now, I want the door to rattle the windows and furniture in my room. I want everyone in the castle that I am mad. Enraged. Almost betrayed to see that my father has essentially given up on sparing me from this betrothal. I thought maybe, just maybe, he'd find a way.

Him and I are supposed to be a team, and I'm not sure how to work on a team if he no longer wants to be on it. Or at least, that's how it feels.

But all this is done to save our kingdom.

"Princess, just take a moment to settle down," Elena begs as she chases me around the room.

I swing my bow and quiver of arrows over my shoulder, aching for some fresh air outside of this constricting castle. All I need is Tobin. My Tobin, the only one who seems to care about sparing me from marriage, the one who I desperately wish to run away with.

But I can't turn my back on my kingdom, and that's what roped me into this betrothal in the first place. I just wish there was some way I could escape it, or at least fight back.

"He's given up, hasn't he?" I breathe, meeting Elena's green eyes. "In his heart, he's already given me away to Leighton."

Elena sucks in a heavy breath. "You have to understand the pressures your father has been under."

"It's not that," I stammer. "It feels like ever since he agreed to the betrothal, he's been busy kissing Leighton's ass to avoid conflict. He never seemed to even try to change the marriage."

"He has, you just never saw him try," Elena whispers under her breath. "He begged on his knees to Leighton, even bowed before him just to ask to free you from the betrothal, but Leighton's made his goals quite clear. He wants you to be the next queen of Adorid."

Tears sting my eyes at the thought of being queen. We'll have to coexist together, to sit on the throne together. Nauseatingly so, he'll expect me to be a showpiece to his kingdom. In return, the kingdom will expect me to deliver what they've been waiting for for years.

Heirs.

Leighton will demand an heir to the throne, a little tyrant he can raise to replace him when death beckons at his door.

"He'll want children," I sob. I've been alone with Leighton before, cornered into that courtyard with the soil stained with blood. Being his wife would have me cornered with chains and knives until my dying breath. He can lock me behind any door, demand any wish from me. He's stronger, powerful, a brute oxen of a warrior that could snap me like a twig. "I can't... I can't..."

Through the salty tears that blur my vision, I catch the daring spark that flickers in Elena's irises. She pulls me into her embrace, tight, caging me within her arms.

The words she speaks changes everything.

"Then deny him what he wants."

"I can't say no to the marriage," I breathe. "At least, not publicly. This is what's sparing Lagulon from destruction."

"That's not what I meant," she pulls away and wanders over to my vanity. She pulls open the top drawer, revealing a vial of strange liquid. It's the concoction I drink every night after Tobin's visits, the one that prevents an unwanted pregnancy. "Deny him an heir."

"Leighton will find the elixir and get rid of it," I retort. "You know he'd search every surface for it."

"I know, but there would be no need for the elixir if you were already pregnant."

Just like that, the pieces of Elena's plan click together.

She wants me to stop taking the elixir when I'm with Tobin, because how could Leighton receive an heir of his own flesh and blood when I'd already be pregnant?

My eyes widen at the thought. "That's absurd. If Leighton discovered I was pregnant with another man's baby—Tobin's baby—he'd force me to get rid of it."

"But you're no ordinary girl, Imogen. You have a fight in you. Leighton won't dare let a scandal like this deter his reputation, so force him to agree to the pregnancy and to announce that the child belongs to him."

"But it would be Tobin's, and I can't let Leighton be the father of a child that belongs to Tobin."

"Just because you're marrying Leighton, it doesn't mean this war is over. There's still ways to combat that bastard of a king, and denying him a child with the birthright to the throne would change everything between our kingdoms."

The idea of becoming pregnant from Tobin's doing hardly frightens me, but it's what I would need to do next that sets me on edge. How could I willingly marry the king and risk my child in such a dangerous kingdom? Besides, if Tobin knew of this, he'd disagree on the spot. He'd pull me from this castle the moment he knew I was pregnant and we'd ride aboard Neph to Thivalon.

Yet, the plan is plausible. It's utterly ridiculous, but a part of me thinks that it might work.

But there's only one catch to it all.

Tobin would never agree.

Therefore, Tobin could never know.

Every night when we lay together, he'd think I'd take the elixir, but all I have to do is neglect to do just so. He would never have to know, but refusing to tell him feels like I'm betraying him on such a deeper level. In this plan, he'd be a tool when he'd think this would all be done in love.

I can't hurt Tobin.

I can't.

The sun has long set over the horizon, and Tobin climbs aboard the balcony. His presence silences the conversation between Elena and I, but the choice I have to make becomes clear.

"Think about it," Elena tells me before exiting the room, letting Tobin and I have our privacy.

My heart descends into a spiral with one look at those kind brown eyes. How can I keep such a secret from him? If I decide to follow through with Elena's hushed plan of pregnancy, he can never know a thing. He'd never know he'd have a child. He'd never have the chance to tell me all those baby names he had planned.

I weave my hand between his as he presses his lips against mine for a tender, soft kiss.

He pulls away with a grin, so oblivious to what I might choose to do next. "Let's get the hell out of here, princess."

── •✧• ──

OH HOW THE TURN TABLES.

A lot is going to happen very, very soon. Buckle your seatbelts, because shit is about to get real messy because I like writing drama. I thrive off of drama (as someone who is the least dramatic person in the world).

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P.S. wish @lalawahm a happy birthday.