ততততত

𝐓 𝐎 𝐁 𝐈 𝐍

I don't want to be here, back at that god forsaken tavern. Not after last night.

I lost myself in the most fucking careless of ways. I convinced myself that Imogen would not be a priority; my priorities belonged to Aspen. They always will be—until tears fell down Imogen's porcelain cheeks and flipped my mind around like a goddamn pancake. I knew she was fighting her own battles, but King Leighton? Now, I know that the ruthless battle she faces will rid her of everything that she is.

When she stumbled into her room, seething at me for breaking the thin trust between us, something clicked. My heart muted the rationality of my brain, and the realization came down on me like a collapsing cliffside. Imogen owns a part of that soft heart of mine. Just a sliver, but a heart can't operate without its entirety. I should've stopped myself from seeing her before it got out of hand, but here we are—twisted and coiled into each other's lives.

The hopelessness from the marriage had broken her own fragile heart, despite her being the girl who 'isn't made of glass'. I mended her, or tried to. Piece by piece, I scavenged what I could to rebuild her into that princess of strength that I know she is.

But in the end, I fear it won't be Leighton who will wreck her. I'll have to choose between two sides: my sister who I lost, or the girl of moonlight who I will bow to in the end.

It will be me. I will wreck Imogen.

The tavern swarms itself with drunk sailors and unruly pirates. A few musicians play strings and flutes, while one entertainer riles the entire bar to sing well-known ballads and choruses. Dancers occupy the floors while beer spills over the edges of froth-rimmed mugs. It's a scene of Lagulon I know well, yet never partake in.

In the corner of the room, Gareth lounges in a booth, evidently flirting with one of the waitresses. Unlike last night when I caught him at the dinner, he redresses in more neutral attire, clothes that don't make him seem like he is a knight from the enemy kingdom.

When he catches sight of me, he waves the waitress off. I take a seat across from him.

"Looks like you made a friend, " I grumble.

Gareth grunts, then takes a sip of his beer. "Just having some fun while I wait for your slow ass to show up." He nods his head to a whole bottle of amber whiskey. "Got your favourite."

I take the bottle in hand, analyzing the golden brown liquid. "I'm gonna need it."

"You sure as fuck will," he grumbles, then clears his throat. He clearly wants to get his done and over with. "I attended that event at the castle last night. A feast, actually."

I know about the feast, but Gareth has no idea about the passageways that I eavesdropped through. I know that the reason for the feast is because of the betrothal between Imogen and Leighton. I know Gareth sat there with a dangerous smirk on his lips, yearning to have the upper hand. He always wanted to be victorious at everything when we were kids. Even when we trained in the Adoridian royal corp, he always desired to win at least one spar against me. But I always won.

Always.

Growing up, he chased my shadow. With every loss, he grew famished for victory. It consumed him at times, and the storm that became of him was ugly. Yet, we were best friends. On the field, we never had to speak. I understood his tactics, his movements, his strategy—and he understood mine. We learned to act as a team no matter how hard the captains pit us against each other. Until, we both had a choice.

The blood on Gareth's hands still seeps through, no matter how hard he tries to clean it.

We were ordered to kill. I couldn't. Gareth did.

I stiffen my back. I received countless whippings that night for disobeying Leighton's orders, and the whole royal court had to watch—including my father. Fortunately, Imogen never noticed the scars that mark me last night, only unknowingly dragged her fingertips across them while soaking in the bliss of my kiss. No one's ever touched them but her and those dainty featherlight fingers. She was fast asleep by the time I put a shirt back on.

If Aspen weren't a factor in all this, I'd never think about going back to Adorid again.

"Tobin? You good?" Gareth scowls as he crooks his beer to his lips.

"At the feast," I prod. I need the details of it all. "What the fuck is going on that you had to be there?"

He smirks. "Taking care of some business, and it required us to meet with the king of Lagulon."

And Imogen. He doesn't mention Imogen at all, which pisses me off considering she is the sole reason for the meeting.

"You're asking me to go into the castle to sneak into that hidden room, and yet you waltz in there without a guard spearing you to death," I point out the obvious, hoping it irks him. "Seems redundant."

He sighs, tapping a finger against the surface of the rough wooden table. "You and I are fighting for the same goal when all this is over. We're just on different missions. Yours is to extort the truth behind that room, if it's worth revealing."

I'm not about to tell him about Ruslan until I'm certain Imogen can do what's asked of her. I'll prepare her. Train her. Forge her to become a shield and sword stronger than any metal. Then, when she's strong enough...

I'm going to have to break her by exposing Ruslan to the enemy, a thought that I want to remove from my mind, but one that comes back time and time again.

"And your mission is?"

"Ensuring the marriage between Princess Imogen and King Leighton goes through. Lagulon has resources that we need, and when we have enough, Leighton plans to strike." He pounds a fist against the table, a dark haze succumbing his blue irises. "We need to dethrone the Lagulonian monarchy from the inside before conquering the other kingdoms: Oponem, Brihan, Thivalon—all of them."

No fucking way. It means that the marriage will be done for nothing.

Imogen sobbed into my chest because of it, and in the end, all the bravery she needs will never stop the war she faces. She's making a sacrifice just for her kingdom to fall.

"So this isn't for an alliance," I mutter. "You're just taking a different tactic to wage war."

"We know the royals are hiding something in that room, Tobin," he tells me. "Whatever they're hiding, it's our secret weapon, their achilles heel."

Ruslan.

"Leave the princess and king to us," he mutters. "The marriage will happen in four months, and the princess will be kept at the castle after that. Leighton has his own agenda with her."

No.

Not my moonlight.

King Leighton will never own her. She belongs to no one.

I tick, bubbling with hot wrath. It itches beneath my skin, needing to be expelled from within me. My fingers clasp around the hilt of my sword, fitting around the worn leatherbound handle. I bite my tongue to hold back.

I just want to slice Gareth in the throat for what he's about to do to Imogen.

My irritation must be evident when Gareth laughs. "You never cared about any of this shit before," he lowers his gaze. "Let it go, Tobin. There's no need to be hostile about this."

Red crosses my vision, and I snap. I draw my sword, swinging it across the table to Gareth's throat. It doesn't occur to him what he's doing, what he's destroying by being Leighton's puppet on a string.

He draws his own weapon in unison. Metal clashes, the sound of whirring iron silencing the musicians playing their instruments in the tavern.

"I've been training, Tobin," Gareth grits as our swords swing, only to clash once more. "You know I can win."

"You won't."

There's too much inside of me that matters now, and I can't seem to let it go.

He lunges backward, and I forward. We find ourselves on our feet, dodging patrons and pirates. I don't give a damn if Gareth was once a friend. That was the past. Now, he's treading down a dark trail that will lead him straight to Hades in the underworld.

I force him into a corner, Gareth's back hitting the tavern wall with a soft thud. Our swords cross between us—now stilled—as the attention of the tavern narrows on us, but I don't give a damn if they watch. I'm already a wanted thief in these regions.

But nothing has changed between Gareth and I. I always win when it comes to the sword.

"I'm not going to let Leighton use me," I grit to him. "Not again."

"You weren't doing this for Adorid anyway," Gareth spits back at me, eyes bulging and teeth clenched. "I'm not a goddamn idiot! The only way I could convince you to do it was because of Aspen! Leighton has Aspen, Tobin! This is the only way to get her back!"

Aspen. I had been so consumed with thoughts of Imogen I almost forgot about my sister.

I force the clashed blades closer to Gareth's throat. "Tell me about Aspen."

Unlike before, he doesn't hesitate. "When your mother disappeared, I took her in," Gareth admits. "Well, I actually brought her to the scullery maids in the castle. One of them offered to hide her amongst them when I told them she was a Parias." Of course Leighton would want Aspen. He longed for the whole Parias bloodline to be eradicated at the time after the... the incident. "We kept her hidden for years, even gave her a new name. But gods, she grew up to be like you: stubborn and curious."

Like me. This can't be good. I'm a fucking mess.

"Four years ago, she began questioning what happened to your family. I tried to keep her from the truth, but she eventually found out that her father was once second-in-command to the king of Adorid."

"Then what happened to her?"

"Leighton discovered her identity and took her away from her job as a scullery maid," he gulps. "She works as one of his personal handmaidens."

I lower my sword, only to have Gareth follow suit.

All of this, and she was only a kid. A kid.

"Leighton promises to pardon you and Aspen if you succeed in finding a way into that room. He'll give you a home, and he'll welcome you back into the royal corp with adequate pay," Gareth speaks the reminder like a slap in the cheek. "You've been running for ten years, and you can finally put all that goddamn shit aside."

Ten years have passed since I had to run. Hell, as a fifteen year old, I knew my shit better than any mature man. Years of training in Adorid's militia gave me the skills I needed to survive on my own, but I still wasn't ready for it. I still wanted my family: my father, mother, sister. Now I'm twenty-five, and I have the chance to do it all over again.

Aspen and I. Teasing each other over dinner. Bickering over nonsense. It's childish for me to want something I never got to have with her.

I crave a stable, mundane life. The predictable comings and goings.

"Tobin," Gareth sheaths his sword back into his scabbard. "I know it's hard doing this for the kingdom that betrayed you, but you're getting a clean slate. That's what Aspen needs."

She needs her brother, one that's not destined for the gallows, one that can be by her side to walk her through adulthood. Although, it sounds like she's already becoming quite the young woman.

I want to meet her again more than anything.

But first, I need to deal with Imogen, and get her out of my fucking system. I've been shot with her arrow and now bleed for her. I have four months until she's set to marry Leighton, which means four months to spend alongside her, but it won't end there. She'll be on her way to Adorid, and if what Gareth vows is true, so will I.

Yet, she won't be the same. She'll hate me for what I'm about to do, then hate me more when she discovers I'm a pawn for the Adoridian king.

I have to choose Aspen, despite the world going against me.

"Do you have a piece of charcoal?" I ask.

Gareth digs into a bag on his hip. "Yes?"

I wander back over to our table and pop open the whiskey, taking a long burnin swig. Only tonight, the name that meets my tongue belongs to Aspen.

"I have a new map to give you," each word feels like a betrayal to Imogen, "and you'll like where it leads."

── •✧• ──

Please don't hate Tobin just yet. He'll redeem himself... eventually. No guarantees, actually. I promise that things won't always seem so doom and gloom for Tobigen all the time. Because right now, I know it might seem that things are kind of hopeless.

But in the end, everything will be okay :) (maybe).

Remember to vote, comment, and share! Also, if I don't update before the end of the year, have a happy new year!