𝑶𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝑰𝒏 𝑨 𝑩𝒍𝒖𝒆 𝑴𝒐𝒐𝒏
by -lunatichale

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"𝑰'𝒎 𝒈𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈, 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒅 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔. 𝑵𝒐 𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝒓𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒔."

"𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏'𝒕 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆."

"𝑺𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒆."

"𝑶𝒌𝒂𝒚! 𝑺𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒕'𝒔 𝒉𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒓. 𝑵𝒐 𝒏𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕."

"𝑴𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒍𝒚 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰...𝑾𝒆'𝒓𝒆 𝒗𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒔."

"𝒀𝒆𝒂𝒉, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰'𝒎 𝒂 𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒌. 𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒒𝒖𝒂𝒄𝒌 𝒃𝒊𝒕𝒄𝒉."

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( made by the very talented likhainko <333 )

𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒅𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

Luna Swan is living proof that sarcasm can take a human form. Everyone around her, even her family, could've sworn that this loud human being has mockery as blood, flowing naturally in her veins. That's why what's normal for her is shouting at random people and being unable to respond without a sarcastic remark.

Though she can be viewed as aggressive, the girl has a soft side as well. One just needs to have a huge ass tractor to dig deep and search thoroughly for it. To find that underneath all that undeniably hilarious (and sometimes irritating) personality of hers, there's actually something that is sweet, thoughtful, and loyal. Who knew?

However, once she meets the Cullen/Hale family and finds out what they truly are, would she still have the guts to challenge them with her everlasting bad behavior?

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𝑪𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒔

Elizabeth Gillies
as
𝑺𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒆 "𝑳𝒖𝒏𝒂" 𝑺𝒘𝒂𝒏

"I feel bad for calling you guys 'bloodsuckers'. So, I'm gonna stop. Anyway, later, leeches."

── ✦ ──

Jackson Rathbone
as
𝑱𝒂𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝑯𝒂𝒍𝒆

"I let her call me 'cowboy' because if I don't, I'd have to listen to her shout at me. And that's not a very pleasant thing to experience when you have enhanced hearing."

── ✦ ──

Robert Pattinson
as
𝑬𝒅𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒅 𝑪𝒖𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒏

"She likes to think that her blood is type S for 'Sarcasm'. That way she could build her little army of Luna-tic vampires."

── ✦ ──

Kristen Stewart
as
𝑰𝒔𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂 "𝑩𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒂" 𝑺𝒘𝒂𝒏

"Luna puts the word 'psycho' to shame. I don't even know how I survived to share a womb with her."

── ✦ ──

Naomi Scott
as
𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒆 "𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒊𝒆" 𝑴𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏

"I went from ass-shaking cheerleader to ass-kicking queen. Talk about character development."

── ✦ ──

Taylor Lautner
as
𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒐𝒃 𝑩𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌

"I thought I was aggressive. But then I met Luna."

── ✦ ──

and the rest of the Twilight casts as their respective roles.

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𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

This story contains graphic depictions of violence, sexuality, strong language, and/or other mature themes.

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𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒎𝒆𝒓

I do not own the Twilight Saga, obviously. It belongs to the wonderful people behind the movies and the books. I do, however, own my OCs and the additional plot that is not originally from the books/movies.

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𝑪𝒐𝒑𝒚𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕

Copyright © 2020 -lunatichale

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the expressive written permission from the author.

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𝑨𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓'𝒔 𝑵𝒐𝒕𝒆

My ever-so amazing readers, I hope you enjoy this book that my Jasper Hale-obsessed heart has created. Now, sit back, relax, and may we be blessed with more of his exquisite, fictional existence.

xoxo Sammy