𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐝

          ℑ don't think that I ever woke up and thought one day that I hated the gods. That wasn't sort of an overnight thing, no matter what people said or told you it was. Hating the gods wasn't something you could turn on or off. It was the constant build up of watching people you cared for die, watching as the soldiers got younger and younger and people still didn't care and trying to fight for a voice and no one being there to stand up for you.

No one seemed to care that people had died and were dying still.

They were living in the good old days, where kids were regularly sent off to war and it was fine. Despite all of their bravado about being one with the modern age, they were still so backwards. Especially in their view that all children were expendable and that more could just be created.

That was all we were to them. Expendable creations that were easy to make more of.

It was why I'd left camp in the end. Why I'd run to the 'evil side'. Not because I agreed with all their methodologies but I did agree with their thoughts on keeping demigods safe and keeping children out of the fight.

That was a cause I would die for.

"You would pledge yourself to our cause?" Luke Castellan looked like a broken man in this light, not like the one I'd come to know at camp. His scar seemed deeper, his eyes colder and the lines of his face harsher. "You would abandon your siblings? All of them?"

"Yes." I nodded. If it meant fighting for a better place for them to live then I would do anything to make them have a better life. "I would."

"You know that once you do this, you can't go back?" Luke was offering me a way out, just in case I wasn't sure but I was. I had made up my mind and there was little anyone could do or say that was going to change that. "You won't be able to go back to camp, to your friends, your family?"

"I know."

"Do you?"

"Yes." I looked up at him sadly. "I keep seeing people die, people younger than me and I can't keep making shrouds and just moving onto the next person. They had names, and lives and they could have had futures but it was taken away because we're not protected. I know what I want to do. I'm not some weak minded daughter of Aphrodite, making these choices on a whim."

"I know." Luke nodded, before standing up and extending his hand. "Then welcome to the cause. We'll get you a bed and somewhere to stay, get you training with a legion or working in a specific area, whatever you want to do. If you don't want to fight, I'm not going to make you."

"I can fight." A weight fell on my shoulders. This was all starting to feel a lot more real now. "I can, honest."

"I know." Luke agreed, he smiled as he shook my hands. "I trained you. Go on, someone will get you a bed and get you sorted."

"Okay. Thank you." I turned to him again with a smile as he waved it off.

"Welcome to the Army of Kronos."

∘☽༓☾∘

The past year had been full of peril. When I'd been at camp, when I'd come to it the first time, I had been young and the promise of safety, of never having to run or having to see my father's disappointed face, was a positive.

I had a place to call home.

As I grew older, I had started to see the cracks. When we had funerals, no one's mortal parent was ever there. It was like we were taking that away from them. Then, the other mortal parents that I had met were happy shipping their children off to a war camp, because they didn't know what it was. What happened if their kids died? Would it be seen as an accident at camp or would they finally understand the truth of why their kid was like this?

Then there was the training, the constant training. We never stopped and it might have been fine if it was just the older children, if we were still able to study and make it to the outside world, but it wasn't. It was everyone, from ages six and up. A six year old holding a sword made no sense to me. And gods forbid that I tried to make plans for when I grew up and wanted to go to college. The mindset always seemed to be that we were destined to die young, so we might as well not worry about education.

When I had tried to bring it up to my cabin head, they had told me to ignore it, to not think like that. We were demigods. Demigods always died young.

I didn't want to die though.

My final straw had been the summer before I left. I'd watched children die, and making shrouds for nine year olds wasn't something that could ever sit right with me. I blamed Kronos and his army, but I blamed Chiron and this army too. Either way I looked at it, I was a child soldier. But, at least if I fought with Kronos, then I wouldn't be fighting with the gods, who actively looked down at us and treated us like lesser beings.

At least I'd be fighting for a better future.

"The Labyrinth is tricking us." Luke was at the head of the table. I sat in one of the corners on his left, listening in. The year training with Kronos' army had taught me a lot. I had honed my skills, training where I wished to, and learning to fight. I'd been promoted, rising up the ranks until I could join the council of people that advised Luke.

I'd made that happen, for me and for all the children of Aphrodite who had died before me.

"We need the string to get through. All of our scouts have either not come back or gone mad." Others were starting to pipe up, the conversation loud and a little overwhelming.

"If we want to infiltrate Camp Half-Blood, we need to get through it. If we can weaken that, it'll be the first stage of destabilising the gods!" There was a shout from others down the table. "What does the spy say?"

"That they've found the tunnel entrance, they're investigating it." Luke called back. "We have to work quickly, but we have to be smart."

"What about recruitment?" I called. "Lord Kronos said that if we get another few people to the cause, he'll be able to support us. Provide us help. Is that not a thought of what we should be doing? What does it matter if we get into Camp Half-Blood if Kronos is able to help us?"

"Camp Half-Blood is where they produce their soldiers." Someone called back. "It would be foolish not to aim for it."

"We're setting monsters on children." I shook my head, turning to Luke. "You said we're all about saving demigods. That should run on both sides. They don't know that they've been indoctrinated from a young age, but they're still our siblings. We can't leave them there."

"I see your point." Luke held a hand up. "I see both of the points made. We don't want to kill children, that is true, but we can't have more soldiers fighting against us. I think that the idea of finding more recruits is a good one, but yes, the main focus of the plan should still be to take out their main hub so that we do not have more soldiers fighting us."

The meeting came to a close as I sighed. I knew that these advisory meetings were about compromise but sometimes, I wished that they would just listen to me and see my point.

There was a call of my name and I turned back to Luke.

"You're right about recruitment." Luke conceded, leaning on the table as I looked at the floor. "If we can find the last few members to join the cause, then this won't have to happen. Can I trust you with that?"

"Of course, but I don't want to leave this fight to do so." I looked up at him. "I want to be here when we get through the Labyrinth."

"I know. I understand." Luke nodded, shooting me a smile. "But I can only trust you with this. You've always been better with words than nearly everyone else in here."

"You're trying to sweet talk me into recruiting?"

"I'm trying to persuade one of my best generals to handle something that is incredibly important." Luke grinned as I rolled my eyes. "Thank you."

"I haven't even said yes."

"You were going to." I huffed, before grabbing my sword and heading for the door. "Grab a pack from the supplies but get back safe, yes?"

"I will." I waved him off. If this was what the cause needed me to do, then I would do it, without question.

∘☽༓☾∘

"One more." I looked at the Iris message, nodding along to what the other advisors said. "That is all we need, all Kronos demands."

"Of course." I agreed. "How's the maze coming along?"

"We're getting further through it, but there are some roadblocks." Luke was looking more tired, as I huffed. I had another name to check out, and then I would be back and I could help out more. I hated being far away from the action. "You should go."

"Yes sir." I nodded, swiping through the connection as I headed out of my spot and towards where I knew was another runaway from camp. Luke had mentioned him, talking about another of the unclaimed children that had been stuck sleeping on the floor for years at a time.

Dodging through the growing crowds, I turned back to the hellhound that had been sniffing along ahead of me. It stopped, before looking at someone in the distance.

"Thank you." I patted its side, brushing past it as I caught eyes with the boy. He was my age, and cute, I'd give him that. His arms were folded over his chest, and I could see a Celestial Bronze sword hidden behind him at the bus stop. An eyepatch covered his left eye, and he watched me cautiously, waiting to see what I would do.

"Can I join you?" My Greek was a little rusty. It had never been my strong suit, despite supposedly being hardwired for it.

"Who sent you?"

"Not camp if that's what you're wondering." I smiled, walking towards him as the hellhound lay down.

"What? Are you a rogue one? Never seen a tame hellhound before." We both looked at the large dog.

"It's not a pet, merely a partner. Luke Castellan sent me." I turned back to the teenager, whose arms were now folded over his chest, watching me cautiously. "He said that this might be something you were interested in."

"What would I be interested in?"

"You're Ethan Nakamura, aren't you?" He nodded. Well, at least I had the right person, that was a positive. "I know you were at camp for a number of years. I know that you left, that you were unclaimed. We're trying to change that."

"You're trying to overthrow the gods?"

"I'm one of many. We have an army, a plan, and a leader and we're almost ready for our main attack on Olympus. I was told to come and find you, to reach out, and see whether this would be something that you were interested in." He considered it.

"How do I know you're not lying?" I pulled the letter that Luke had signed, showing it to Ethan. He read through it quickly, leaning back against the bus stop as humans flittered around us, going about their day. "What's the motives of this army?"

"To stop the gods from treating us like we're expendable." I sighed, before sitting down next to him as I looked out across the street. "They were people, with futures and families, and now, they're dead because we were never given protection. We were just left to fend for ourselves. No six year old should have to do that."

"And what will happen when you overthrow the gods?"

"We put into place better rules. We make pacts with the monsters, stop them hunting little kids. We make sure that we're acknowledged, that everyone knows their parentage and we make sure that we no longer have to be child soldiers."

Ethan folded the letter up, handing it back to me.

"I want to think about it." I nodded, standing up and looking at the steadily greying sky. "How can I find you again? To give you an answer?"

"I'll come back in a day or so. Time waits for none of us, let alone a revolution." I pulled my hood up, nodding at Ethan, before whistling for the hellhound and heading back to the nearest shelter that Luke had told me about when he'd been on the run. It would keep me safe and warm for the time being.

∘☽༓☾∘

"You didn't come back." I paused, turning at the words. Ethan Nakamura stood behind me, dark eye watching what I was doing.

"You joined up." I grinned, pulling the last bit of my own armour back on. "Sorry. I got called back here. I had work to do."

"They sent someone else. I didn't like them as much."

"My apologies." I laughed, before grabbing my sword. "So, are you in or...?"

"They're asking me to prove myself, to fight in the arena. Apparently I need to fight another demigod to the death."

"Really?" I shot him a look. "That shouldn't be the case. Let me talk to the other generals."

"It's alright." Ethan waved me off with a half grin, though I could see the trepidation in his eye. "They're saying it's Antaeus' rules, his arena."

"Yeah, but even so, that's not fair." I sighed, before pulling my hair back. "What do you think of it all so far?"

"There's more of you than I expected. I thought there'd be two of you."

"I wouldn't have told you that we were almost ready to storm Olympus if I wasn't sure myself." I told him, nudging him gently. Other soldiers were starting to hurry to the stands, clambering into their seats as whispers of prisoners started to hang in the air.

"Ethan Nakamura!" There was a call of Ethan's name as the teenager next to me tensed.

"Hey, you've got this." I reached over, squeezing his hand, "and if you need help, I'll be up in the parapet. I'll come rescue you."

"I thought children of Aphrodite didn't fight." Ethan muttered.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Ethan." I grinned, before the call of his name came again. "You've got this. I'll see you afterwards."

He shot me one final nod, before I stalked off to re-join Luke and the other advisors side. I pushed through them, stopping beside Luke and leaning down to speak to him.

"Fight to the death?"

"Was not my idea." Luke looked pale, and I pulled some ambrosia free, handing it to him. "I'm alright."

"You look like you're about to collapse."

"It's not your job to worry about me." He shook his head, both of us watching as the fight started below us.

"Someone has to." I glared around us. "Gods knows I'm the only one with any brain cells here."

"Sure, sure." Luke ate it as I caught sight of Ethan down in the shadow of the arena, waiting his turn. I straightened up, chewing on my lip as Luke followed my gaze. "He said you were very convincing."

"What?"

"Apparently you were very good at convincing him to join, very charming."

"I did the normal spiel." Luke hummed as I shot him a glare. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

"You were thinking something." I pointed at him as the fight came to an end, the crowd jeering. Immediately, I stepped back, bowing my head to let the others do their jobs. I knew better than to interfere with the immortal beings, leaving that to Luke. They couldn't kill him, but they could kill me.

I just hoped that Ethan would be alright.

∘☽༓☾∘

"Hey!" There was a call of my name, and I turned, finding Ethan Nakamura hurrying towards me. He looked a little worse for wear, beaten and bruised, a look in his eye that I hadn't seen before. It was like he was scared, but I couldn't tell of what. "I've been looking for you."

"What?" The comment shocked me, my eyes going wide as I looked at him. He'd been looking for me?

"I pledged myself to Lord Kronos. I thought you'd be there, but you weren't and then they said you were away dealing with something else, and I didn't know if I was going to see you again." Ethan explained. "I never got the chance to say thanks."

"You don't need to say thanks, Ethan." I waved him off, before smiling. "Luke was the one who suggested you for the army."

"No, not for that." Ethan shook his head. "For talking to me before the arena. You didn't have to and then you did, and it helped."

"Well I'm glad. And for the record, I'm glad you're alive too." I smiled up at him warmly. "Where have they got you?"

"I'm a general now."

"Really?"

"Yeah, for my efforts in the summer." Ethan smiled. "Looks like we'll be seeing a lot more of each other then."

"Yeah, we will." I grinned at him, before there was another call of my name. "I've got to go. I'll see you soon?"

"We should train together at some point." Ethan offered up, as I reluctantly began to walk away from him. "It would be fun."

"I'll keep it in mind." I laughed, waving at him as I was directed to something else that needed my attention. I shot one final glance back at the teenager, who was watching me go, before other soldiers urged him onwards.

He was sweet, I'd give him that.

∘☽༓☾∘

Training with Ethan was always fun. He didn't take it easy on me, as others did because of my parentage, and we always managed to have a laugh despite the tense situation around us.

"You're slow this morning." I taunted, baiting towards his left. Despite having only one eye, Ethan's reflexes were deadly and he was quick to smack the blade away. "Long night?"

"Strategies and Lord Kronos wait for no one." Ethan jumped backwards, before dodging the next blow. "I haven't seen you at meetings for a bit."

"I've been finalising supply chains." I yelped, shaking my hand as Ethan's blade caught the flat of my knuckles. He stopped in an instance, advancing to check as I waved him off. "I'm alright."

"Sorry."

We went through a few more manoeuvres before starting to finish up and cool down.

"Are you coming to the next one? Apparently this is where we discuss the assault on New York." Ethan took a sip of water, watching me carefully.

"I'll be there." I promised, wincing as I flexed my knuckles. They were starting to bleed at the hit. Ethan reached over, grabbing my hand and starting to wrap it. "What have the past few meetings been like?"

"Tense. Lord Kronos is..." Ethan tried to find the words. "He's difficult to please at points. He has a specific view for how this should go and I'm sceptical."

"We have to trust that they know what's best." I warned Ethan softly, as he paused. His grip on my hand was soft, but I could tell he didn't like the words I was saying. "Ethan..."

"What if he's wrong? What if it's just going to get worse?"

"It's not."

"You don't know that."

"Trust me, please." I squeezed his hand as we both took a moment to breathe. "It's going to work out."

"Sure." He sighed, before standing up and stretching. I smiled up at him, as he looked around before helping me up.

"Eth, it's going to be fine." I patted his stomach softly as he watched me, eyebrows furrowed. "Same time tomorrow?"

"Alright." Ethan nodded, his shoulders still tense. I shook his shoulders slightly until he shot me a crooked grin, before letting him go.

"Alright. Don't be too stupid until I'm back." I warned him, before grabbing my sword and heading to report into Kronos. I was supposed to have seen him first, but training with Ethan was more important in my mind.

∘☽༓☾∘

"You sure about this?" I paused, smoothing my hair back from my face as I looked at the door to my tent. Ethan was hovering, chewing on his lip. "This plan, it's suicide."

"I've pulled off worse odds." I reminded him. "If I do this, then we're fine. We'll have the backup we need for this to work, for this plan to work. Anyway, I should be more worried about you. You're the one going in with the first attack force. I'll be at the back."

"That doesn't mean I'm not still worried about you."

"You've grown attached."

"Absolutely." Ethan nodded, before watching me cautiously. "I can't have you dying on me."

"I'm not going to die."

"With these odds, I don't know?" He ran a hand through his hair as I sat down on the bed. "I don't like it."

"That's not on you to say. If Lord Kronos decides that this is what we need, then I'll do it. I don't want to fail him." Ethan faltered for a moment, before slumping down next to me. "I'll be alright."

He didn't say anything and we fell into silence.

Ethan reached up, before pulling his eyepatch off and burying his head into his hands.

"Eth, I promise, I'm going to be fine." I touched his arm tentatively, before leaning into his side. "If you don't trust any of the others, trust me."

"I just have a bad feeling about all of this." Ethan paused, before lifting his head up. For the first time, I was able to see the scar where his eye should have been, the old wound red as if he'd been scratching it. "I can't lose anyone else. I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me." I reached up, touching my hand to his face. He flinched for a moment, eye fluttering shut as I traced the scar. "I'm coming back, Eth."

"I don't want us to be victorious if you're not there to see it. You got me into this, we can't topple Olympus without you." Ethan blinked a few times, as I leant over, pressing my lips to the scars over his eyes. "I can't do this without you."

I squeezed his hand, both of us falling into silence.

"How about this...when I'm back, we'll talk and we'll have a chance to think about this and us, without the war looming over us." I promised as Ethan nodded. Both of us knew better than to think about bringing feelings into things before the war started. Feelings could be manipulated, used against us, and I couldn't allow the gods to have that sort of power over me.

"I'd like that." He smiled, before the call came for lights out. Ethan stood up, and I took one last moment to memorise his face and the ways his eye glowed in the light of the torch. Ethan slipped his eye patch back on, his vulnerability leaving him as I stood up. "I'll see you in the morning."

"I'll see you then, Eth." I hugged him tightly, before looking up at him. Leaning up on my tip toes, I kissed him gently, knowing that tomorrow, I was shipped out and I wouldn't be able to have a goodbye with him in private.

He held onto me gently, kissing me back before another shout for lights out came and he let his head knock against mine. Ethan looked like he wanted to say something more, but nothing came out.

"Night Ethan." He hummed, leaving me alone for a restless night's sleep.

∘☽༓☾∘

The next morning, I received my final orders from Kronos, promising him that I would bring reinforcements and ensure that we had a backup plan in case this one fell through. Final goodbyes were called, and I found Ethan in the crowd.

"Remember what I said. We'll talk when I'm back." He nodded, his face set in grim determination. "Don't be too stupid until I'm back."

"Same goes for you." He called back as I squeezed his shoulder and found the hellhound in the crowd. It came padding over, and I squared my shoulder, mounting my pegasus.

Cheers started up but I only looked at Ethan.

When I saw him again, we'd have won. We'd have deposed the gods and we'd be free to finally live a life without being attacked constantly, without living in fear.

When I saw him again, we'd be free.

∘☽༓☾∘

Ethan had been right.

We had failed.

The army had split as soon as Kronos had fallen, and I'd been left to deal with the aftermath, having been captured upon returning to the city. I'd been too late. I'd failed. I'd led them to their deaths and their imprisonment.

Yet the gods had let me go.

"You betrayed us." My sister's hand on my arm was tight, her nails digging in. "Silena's dead, everyone's dead and that was your fault. The gods shouldn't have forgiven you."

Anything I said would fall on deaf ears. I couldn't tell them I was trying to protect them, that I wanted to make sure they grew up better than I had, that they wouldn't see their friends dead but then, maybe I'd failed them there too.

My binds were tied, and I was shoved away. Turning back, I looked at my siblings, all of whom were watching me with various expressions of grief and anger.

"Why did you get to live when Silena died? Why did you get to be free when everyone else suffered?" Drew poked my chest, forcing me backwards. "That's not fair. It's not."

I didn't say anything.

"And even, even after all of that, you still don't have the decency to apologise to us, for what you put us through." Drew's lip trembled as I met her gaze head on. How could I apologise for something that I was so sure was right? I was so sure I was fighting for a better life for them, for all of the unclaimed.

My mind turned to Ethan, and I wondered where he was. Was he somewhere else, being let free? How was I going to find him again?

"I hope you rot in Tartarus for this." Drew hissed one final time, before turning and walking back to the others, trying to gather our crying siblings up and get them back home.

"Wait." My voice cracked, as Drew paused. "Ethan...Ethan Nakamura, where is he?"

"Dead. Where you should be." Drew spat as my heart stopped. I could hear the blood rushing through my ears, my brain processing the information. "He tried to kill Kronos, tried to end it. At least he died a hero, and you're still here..."

"No..." I stumbled backwards. Ethan couldn't be dead. He couldn't be dead. I was going to see him after we'd won. I was going to see him, and we'd finally be free and be happy. He couldn't be dead.

My siblings left, leaving me on a ruined street, husks of cars and golden dust scattered around me. Tears welled in my eyes, as I came to the realisation of why my mother had advocated so strongly for me to live. I lived, and the one I cared about died. I'd forever have to live with the fact that I was here and he was gone.

She hadn't been merciful. She'd just been cruel.

I wanted to break down, to sob and scream, but if I stayed here, then who knew how much more punishment or abuse I'd get from the gods and their servants. There was a whimper to the left of me, the hellhound appearing as I stumbled over to it. It was dripping golden dust from wounds as I touched its side.

"We've got to go." I shoved the dog towards the streets. More demigods were starting to appear, other captured ones being set free and told to run and leave New York. I had to force my legs to work, seeing how the members of the Titan's Army looked to me, waiting for instructions, but I had no instructions to give them.

Ethan was dead.

A choked sob left my lips, my knees threatening to give out as I thought of my promise to Ethan. He'd broken it. He'd done something stupid and he'd broken it.

"Get me out of here, please." I clung to the hellhound. "Anywhere but here, please."

The shadows merged around us, as I clung to its side, both of us disappearing into the wall. I had to get away from them, from the gods, from my siblings and my mother. I had to leave.

∘☽༓☾∘

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

When the council had promised Elysium to me, I had thought they were lying. I didn't think I deserved it. They said that I had managed to outweigh the bad I had done in my life. That I had helped enough after the first war for me to deserve it. That I'd been a hero in the end.

I thought they were lying.

The truth didn't hit me until I was standing at the top of the road to my house, looking around at the demigods that had died over the course of my lifetime and wondering how many I'd inadvertently killed.

I meandered down the lane, trying not to meet anyone's eyes as I found my house. I just wanted to get this over with and st-

"I was wondering when you'd show up." I froze. From the deep recess of my memories, ones that I'd locked and buried away after the first war, a name appeared. My hands trembled, looking up as I met the dark eye of Ethan Nakamura. He was leaning in the doorway, eye sad as if waiting for me to say something. "Thought you were trying to run away from our conversation."

"Ethan..." My voice cracked in an embarrassing sort of way as I looked at him. I didn't know what to do. Did I say something? Did I hug him? Did I apologise? Did I run?

"Hi." He smiled, before pushing himself off of the door frame and walking towards me. My hands shook as I reached out to touch him, trying to reassure myself that he was there in front of me. When I felt him move, my inhibitions were lost and I threw my arms around his shoulders, clinging onto him tightly.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I had begun to cry, head buried in his chest. "I-I got you into this mess and I-"

"It's alright." He hushed quietly, trying to calm me down. "I don't blame you."

"I'm so sorry." I pulled back, brushing my tears away as my fingers traced his face and neck. "I'm so sorry Eth."

"Quit apologising." He huffed, seemingly memorising every detail about me. "I'm sorry I missed our conversation."

I let out a laugh at that, fighting the urge to brush the tears away. He was here. He was in front of me.

"We can have it now, even if it is a few years down the line." Ethan promised quietly, as I nodded. Leaning up, I kissed him softly, practically falling into his arms. I'd never fallen for someone again, not after Ethan. I couldn't. My mother had cursed me to only love one person, and to feel the pain of losing them over and over, but being here, with him, in this moment, made up for all of it. "We've got eternity together now."

"No more doing stupid things, please." I whispered, before kissing him again. "I can't lose you a second time."

"You can't lose me at all this time." Ethan promised, before grinning down at me. "We're free, just like we dreamed of."

∘☽༓☾∘

Hiya,

So this is a little more rushed than I would like it to be mainly because it went over the 5,000 word mark and I wasn't sure that people actually wanted to read something that long. I really enjoyed writing for Ethan to be honest, and I just love him in general. Requested by LilyFromLeapfrog. That being said, requests are now open and the form is up on my page, so if you want to request, they're there.

Let me know what you think,

Love Li xx