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❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ʀᴇ ᴋɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴜs ꒱


❝ WHAT ARE YOU, PSYCHO? ❞

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[one month ago]

"Peaches, you'll be my Maid of Honor, won't you?" 

Touched, Juliet had thrown her arms around her best friend and tearfully exclaimed, "of course!" 

Soon she would regret her eagerness to hold that position. 

🌎🌎🌎
[present day]

She was happy for her friends. Really, she was— despite everything. Despite Topanga's high emotions, despite having to work compatibly with Angela for her friend's sake, despite the terrible, horrible dress she was currently putting on. Despite everything, she was happy that Cory and Topanga were finally getting married.

Or, at least, that was what Juliet reminded herself as the blonde called for them to show her their outfits. She put a very fake smile onto her face as she followed the other two girls down the steps with the pink silk clutched in one hand to keep herself from tripping. As they came to a stop in the kitchen, Topanga raised her hands over her mouth and dramatically cried: "those are the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen!"

"Oh no," Rachel groaned.

"Topanga," Angela started cautiously, "do you think that maybe you're a little too emotional to make the right decision about this?"

"Those are the most beautiful dresses I. . ."

"Alright, alright," the brunette agreed quickly.

"Where's Morgan?" Topanga asked. "I want to see how beautiful my future sister looks."

"Hey Morgan, come on out!" the older girl shouted after her. "Share the joy!"

Morgan appeared, frowning deeply as she came down to join them. She was far less tactful than the other girls were as she demanded, "what are you, psycho?"

"Morgan, you look so beautiful!"

"We look like clowns!"

As Angela and Rachel rushed to fix the damage, Juliet put a hand on the blonde's shoulder and leaned down to whisper, "hey, I hate wearing pink but Topanga's emotional state isn't something that you want—"

"Horn-honkin', big-shoe wearin' clowns," Morgan carried on, brushing off her warning. 

Thankfully, the bride seemed unaffected by her words (for now) and turned around to show them their accessories. "They come with parasols!" she pointed out enthusiastically as she passed them to the girls. "And the best part is that after the wedding, you guys are obviously gonna want to wear these dresses over and over again."

That was it.

As Cory's sister furiously tore the dress off, Juliet approached her friend and placed her hands on the blonde's shoulders. "Panga, honey, can we talk for a moment? I think that maybe Rachel was onto something when she said you weren't in a proper emotional state right now. You know I'll wear whatever you decide but have you thought about the fact that you have two redheads in your bridal party? Everyone knows that pink goes terribly with red hair. It's not that I hate the dress," she added hastily, "it's just that the clashing of the colors doesn't do it justice. . ."

"You know, I almost preferred Morgan's truthfulness," Topanga huffed as she gave her an unimpressed look. "I'm revoking your name of Peaches because there's no way you can be a trademark of the South and not support my Southern-belle wedding."

"You're from Philadelphia, stupid!" Morgan shouted at her.

🌎🌎🌎

"So, how's wedding planning going with bridezilla?" Shawn inquired a few days later as they settled down to read for the evening.

Juliet grimaced. "I don't even want to think about it. Do you know what color dresses she's making us wear?"

"Whatever the color is I'm sure you'll look beautiful, Julie."

"As much as I appreciate the compliment I have proof that you're wrong. They're pink, Shawn. Pink. When have you ever seen me wear pink?"

"Uh. . ."

"Never, that's when," she carried on without expecting an answer. "I hate pink. Not only that but they're the most hideous fashion you've ever seen— even worse than the dresses that Cory picked out for his Chick Like Me article."

"Oh boy."

"Uh-huh. I don't know how I'm gonna stand wearing that God-awful thing for hours and it doesn't look like Topanga's changing her mind anytime soon."

She flopped against his side in defeat, prompting the boy to grunt at the sudden weight. Despite his sound of complaint, Shawn gently shifted her so that he could wrap an arm around her shoulders as they adjusted to fit in the tiny bed in her dorm. Celeste was presumably with Kendrick for the evening so they had the room to the themselves to lament over their friends' difficulties.

"And how are the other girls taking it?" he wondered once she'd gotten comfortable.

"Morgan's the. . . least tactful," Juliet reported. "We've been running damage control but it's almost as stressful as thinking about those terrible dresses. Rachel and Angela have been trying to curtail some of Topanga's more outlandish ideas. Did you know that she wanted Ambrosia as one of the dessert courses?"

"Er. . . that's not good?"

"Well, it's certainly not a crowd favorite," she quipped. "Anyway, how's Cory handling everything? I'd rather not talk about the shitshow that's Topanga's side."

"He's not much better," Shawn admitted. "I tried to give up the best man spot so that Eric could have it but obviously he's incompetent, so it's back to me. I've asked Jack to run interference to keep him from doing anything. . . worse."

"I don't know how we're gonna make it through the next six months," the redhead sighed. She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. "It's only been one and I'd almost rather they eloped or something." She turned slightly so she could look up at him. "How are you holding up, Shawnie?"

"Fine." He sounded surprised that she'd even brought up the question. "Why?"

"Well, it's a big deal that our best friends are getting married," she answered with a shrug. "I didn't know if you wanted to talk about it." After all, she had made it a point to try and do an equal amount of kissing and talking, which had been one of the reasons why they'd broken up in the first place.

"I'm good, Julie. Really."

🌎🌎🌎

After hearing about his girlfriend's complaints, Shawn had tried to smooth things over with the other three girls by convincing (read: bribing) them to accept the current circumstances. His. . . help had been met with a less-than-enthusiastic reception but they had begrudgingly agreed, so when they went to meet Cory and Topanga at the wedding hall, they came wearing their dresses.

"Ladies, front and center!" the dark-haired boy announced as they entered the room. "Okay, who wants to go first?"

Rachel stepped forward and in a forcibly bright tone declared: "I totally love my bridesmaid's dress. I totally love my bridesmaid's dress."

Angela went next. "I feel like a delicate Georgia peach in this dress and I'm thrilled to wear it. Thank you."

"I'm not doing it," Juliet hissed quietly to him. "I'm not."

Shawn gave her a significant look and prodded her side (just as she'd always done for him) to push her gently forward. The false smile that appeared on her face hurt her cheeks as she made an effort to be visibly happy. "I feel like a princess in this dress. I'm lucky to be your Maid of Honor."

It was finally Morgan's turn. "I was very selfish and inconsiderate yesterday. This is your wedding and I'm going to tell you the truth." She twisted around to look at the dark-haired boy, who nodded encouragingly. She faced Topanga again before she continued: "your friends are stinking liars! Shawn paid them fifty bucks each and I wouldn't use this dress to wipe my—"

Mr. Matthews leapt forward to cover her mouth with his hand before she could finish the sentence. He then picked her up, kicking, and carried her from the wedding hall. Shortly after they departed, Eric and Jack appeared at the entrance. "Hello everyone."

Juliet sighed at the sight of the black robe he wore, undoubtedly hiding a part of his scheme underneath it. She narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend in a look that said 'I thought you had it covered!' He gave her a helpless shrug in return that replied 'so did I!'

"Don't do this. Look at me, I'm begging you," Jack pleaded with his friend.

"Quiet, half-breed," Eric told him as he walked to the center of the room. "There are some people in this room, who shall remain nameless— Cory, Mommy and Daddy— that don't think I'm Best Man material. Well, I'm sorry I had to do this, Cory."

"Look. Rethink this, alright?" Jack begged. "It's a bad move."

Eric ignored him and faced the bride-to-be. "You know something, Topanga? If I can't be best man then I'm gonna be the groom." He undid the tie to his robe and tossed it to the floor to reveal an orange, old-fashioned suit. "Topanga, I love you. I've always loved you ever since I saw you through that peephole in the bathroom and I know you've secretly longed for me as well. So, Topanga, let's drop this cha-rade," he stated, mispronouncing the word as he dropped to a knee. "Topanga, marry me and let's make nick-nick."

Juliet buried her face in her hands at the complete breakdown of the event as Cory turned to his fiancée. "Get him."

Topanga didn't need to be told twice as she let out an animalistic yell and launched herself at him.

🌎🌎🌎

"So, I'm afraid that all of our horrible experiences have brought us here," Topanga said.

"We knew that planning a wedding was gonna be tough but I don't think any of us are gonna survive this engagement," Cory continued.

"There's no way we'll make it until June. They're just no way." The blonde jerked uncontrollably at the thought. "I'll do something very bad to Eric. I will."

Her fiancé gave her a concerned look. "Honey. . ."

"I know! I'm twitching! Back off!" Her tone quieted. "Please, we're just asking you to understand. This wedding is the most important day of our lives."

"But you people have turned this sacred, beautiful event into a freak show."

"We know you all mean well, we just don't think we're gonna be able to survive an eight-month engagement."

"We want to get married next week," the curly-haired boy announced.

"No wedding hall, no fancy planner, just our friends and family."

"All the people who care about us, right here, next Friday night, eight o'clock/seven central," he added.

"Uh, one question."

As the lights turned on, the couple turned to their teacher, who was surrounded by their friends and family. "Mr. Feeny?"

"You're gonna go through with it this time, aren't you?" the older man asked.

Instead of giving him a reply, Cory and Topanga smiled at each other lovingly.

[written dec. 2021]
[edited jun. 2022]