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❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴄᴏʀʏ's ᴀʟᴛᴇʀɴᴀᴛɪᴠᴇ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ꒱


❝ HE IS VIBRATIONALLY
ACCEPTABLE ❞

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"In conclusion, some products we use everyday can cause algae to grow in lakes," one of the girls said while she dumped something into a beaker.

"Cutting off oxygen and disrupting the ecosystem," the other girl added as she dropped a fish inside.

"So what we've learned is that we must choose biodegradable products to help protect our environment," they finished, and pulled out the now-skeletal fish.

"Excellent report," Mr. Feeny congratulated them. "Inspired visuals. Next team."

Cory and Shawn stood, high fiving. Juliet wished that they could've had a team of three so she wouldn't have had to pair with someone she didn't know very well. Their report had been fine but for the life of her, she couldn't remember the boy's name. Focusing her attention up front, Shawn started the presentation by pulling down the map.

"How air pollution affects our everyday life," Cory said.

"Excellent topic."

The redhead smiled as the two boys pulled out their pointers dramatically. Shawn's hit a random place on the map. "Denver. High atop the majestic Rocky Mountains. Elevation 5,000 feet."

Cory did the same, causing Mr. Feeny to move his to the correct place as he said, "Philadelphia: lying low in the Delaware basin. 250 feet above sea level."

"Well researched."

Shawn's pointer hit the map again. "Denver. Clean, crisp mountain air."

Cory copied him. "Philadelphia. Polluted industrial smog."

The pointer hit again. "Mile High Stadium, home of the Colorado Rockies."

Another hit which was followed by: "Veterans Stadium, home of the Philadelphia Phillies."

"Oh, here we go," Mr. Feeny sighed.

The two boys leaned over the teacher's desk. "The Rockies— a bogus expansion team mind you— are averaging four more runs per game than anyone else in their league because of their cleaner air."

"Our theory is that if Philadelphia were to clean up its smoggy air the ball would slice through at a greater velocity."

"Therefore, the Phillies would score more runs."

"And win every home game."

They both stood and collapsed their pointers. "The end."

"So, how'd you like our report?" Cory asked.

"Stinks."

"Stinks!" Cory said to Shawn. "How'd you like my half?"

"Relax, Mr. Matthews. I blame myself," Mr. Feeny told him.

"You do? Cool."

The two boys high fived before they returned to their seats. Next to her, Shawn leaned over and whispered, "how'd you like my half?"

Juliet rolled her eyes. "Very entertaining."

He shot her a bright smile and chose to ignore her sarcasm.

"Yes, I let you choose your own partners," Mr. Feeny was saying. "An astounding lapse of judgement for someone of my experience. I'm going to let you try again but this time I'll choose the teams. Mr. Hunter—"

"—I'll work with Julie," he offered.

"I don't think so," Mr. Feeny said. "That would be a reward. Instead, You'll be working with Mr. Minkus."

The two boys slapped their foreheads. "Oh no."

"And Mr. Matthews—"

"I get to work with Juliet?"

"That's still a no, Mr. Matthews. Miss Capelwood successfully completed her project. You'll be working with Miss Lawrence."

"Topanga?"

The bushy-haired girl turned to the boy. "Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"I want to see if our energies converge."

Cory gave her his hand as Shawn oohed teasingly. Topanga turned around. "He is vibrationally acceptable."

"Thanks," Cory said dismissively. "Mr. Feeny, may I approach the bench?"

"Objection, Mr. Matthews?"

"Can you be swayed on this?"

"I am Gibraltar."

"C'mon Mr. Feeny! Topanga's, like, totally strange!"

"Strange is in the eye of the beholder, Mr. Matthews," Mr. Feeny said. "I, for one, have a young neighbor who sings along with his little sister's Barney records."

Cory blanched. "You hear that?"

"All the time."

🌎🌎🌎

Shawn sat down next to Juliet and gently tugged on one of her braids in his traditional greeting. She grinned and pointed to the crumpled paper bag. "Guess what I have today?"

She watched him brighten as he guessed, "Oreos?"

"Yep! Eat my cookies?"

He shot her a smile. "I have to fulfill my duty don't ya know." The girl giggled as she opened her package and he continued: "it's as sacred as renewing marriage vows. It gives me something to remember while I suffer."

Juliet rolled her eyes. "C'mon Shawnie, Minkus isn't that bad."

"You only say that 'cause he wants to be your Romeo since you're both smart. Well, I have better reasoning: you've got blue eyes, I've got blue eyes. We're soulmates!"

The joy that always came with hanging out with her friends bubbled up inside of her and she let out another laugh. "Best friends," she amended.

"You know what, I'll take it. I'll change your mind yet."

She did admire his persistence.

Cory joined them then. "What d'you guys think of my hair?"

"Guys don't ask guys that question."

He nodded and turned to the redhead. "Jules?"

"It's your hair?"

"Does this qualify as a brillo head?" he clarified.

Shawn reached over and touched his hair. "Nah, you're more of a nerf head."

"You knew this and didn't tell me? Juliet?" he pleaded.

She gave him a sympathetic look. "Sorry Cor, Shawnie's right. It's nothin' to be ashamed of, though. It's not a big deal."

"I've seen a lot of people with curly hair," Shawn added. "Can we move on now?"

"Easy for you to say! You guys have hair! I'm a Chia pet!" Cory reached over and tugged on one of Juliet's braids. "I mean look at this, you're hoggin' all the hair!"

Shawn shot him a look and slapped his hand away. "No touching."

"What? You do it!" he exclaimed.

"I'm her husband!"

"Cookie partner!"

"Same thing!"

Topanga came to their table then. "Cory, I got Jedidiah to drive me to your house after school."

"Who's Jedidiah?"

"My father."

"Wait. You call your father Jedidiah?"

"That's his name," she said simply. "Why, what do you call your father?"

"Well, like a lot of normal people, I call him 'dad.'"

"Then how do you tell him apart from all the other dads?"

"Look, Topanga," Cory said, already frustrated. "Is there any way we can do this assignment over the phone? Or by telepathy?"

"It concerns our environment," she answered firmly. "I think it deserves more direct attention."

"Okay, okay. I'll see you at my house after school."

"Before I leave, I'd like you to sign a petition to save Mrs. Rosemeade's job." She held out a clipboard.

"Who's Mrs. Rosemeade?" Shawn asked.

"Our librarian," Topanga and Juliet spoke at the same time, causing the two girls to smile.

Topanga's disappeared as she explained: "they're forcing her to retire. It's blatant ageism."

"Maybe it's because she's blatantly old," Shawn sassed.

Juliet hit him on the arm. "She's blatantly nice."

"Look," Cory said. "Can we talk about this later? We're real, real busy here."

"Fine—"

"I'll sign your petition, Topanga," Juliet interrupted her. "I happen to like the library."

The girl's smile returned and she moved to Juliet's seat to hand her the clipboard. "Thank you, Juliet. That means a lot."

The redhead signed her name before she handed it back to the girl. "Don't mention it."

On the other side of Shawn, Cory coughed out "nerd" before he let out a yelp as Shawn elbowed him.

"Don't talk about Juliet like that," he said sternly. "She's better than Minkus any day."

Topanga turned and left their table. "Yeah, at least Feeny didn't give me Minkus for my partner."

"Hey," Shawn said. "Minkus doesn't like me, he doesn't trust me, and he doesn't respect me so he's doing the assignment by himself. In my book, Stuart Minkus is a god."

Juliet poked his side. "Shawn!"

"What?" he asked in the same tone.

"What have I told you about doing your assignments?"

He sighed. "Don't nag, Julie."

Cory ignored them. "If Minkus is a god then why is he sitting at the weirdo table?"

"It's like the cast of the Addams family. Don't they care what they look like?"

"Who cares what they look like. What are we gonna do about my hair?"

"If you're that stressed out I'll ask my sister what she uses to straighten her hair," Shawn offered.

"I didn't know she straightened her hair," Cory said.

"Yeah. If she didn't, she'd look as bad as oh, I don't know— you." He flinched again as Juliet prodded his side with her finger.

🌎🌎🌎

Juliet followed Shawn as they burst into Cory's house. "I got the stuff!"

He froze in the doorway, causing the redhead to bump into him. She peered around his shoulder to see Topanga with red lipstick smeared over her face. "Use a mirror, babe," he said.

"What stuff?"

"Let me ask you something," Cory said. "What d'you think of my hair? You think it looks good?"

"It's beautiful, like a desert tumbleweed."

"Okay, thank you for those thoughts." He shoved Topanga's items into her arms. "Look, Topanga, you want to do those performance things, you go for it. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Are we all done for today?"

"Yeah. Shawn, Juliet and I have another project we're working on now."

"What is it?" Topanga asked curiously, halfway out the door.

"You know that thing about dolphins in tuna nets?" Topanga nodded as her eyes widened. "Well, it's got nothing to do with that!"

Shawn gave her a push and closed the door in her face. Juliet promptly poked his side, causing him to turn. "What?"

"That was rude!"

"Sorry."

She huffed. "No you're not."

🌎🌎🌎

"So should this stuff be burning?" Cory asked.

"Why, is it burning?"

"No, I'm just trying to make conversation because we don't get to talk enough," he shot back.

"How badly is it burning?" Juliet asked worriedly.

"Bad," he confirmed. "Call your sister. Ask her if my ears should feel like throbbing jalapeños."

Shawn quickly dialed the number and spoke into the phone. "Hey Stacey— it's me. Listen, Cory wants to know if that stuff you sent him should be burning." He paused. "Really?"

"Hurting, hurting now!" Cory exclaimed, waving his hands.

"Stacey wants to know how long it's been burning."

"Forty, forty-five minutes."

Shawn repeated the numbers into the phone.

"Shawn! I'm gonna rip my head off!" Cory cried.

"Stacey says you should've washed it out forty-five minutes ago." Cory screamed and ran to the bathroom. "Stacey says you shouldn't have left it in so long. Stacey says why didn't you two idiots read the label? Thanks, Stace," he added before he hung up the phone.

"I guess she didn't mean—"

He was cut off by Cory's scream and Juliet clamped her hands over her ears. He came out of the bathroom as his family rushed in. Shawn leapt into action and grabbed the girl's wrist to tug her along with him as they escaped. "We had nothing to do with this!"

🌎🌎🌎

"Maybe we shouldn't have ditched him," Juliet offered hesitantly.

"What, and take the heat for his mistake? No thanks."

"We did help him become like that."

Shawn rolled his eyes. "He shouldn't have been so obsessed with his hair."

The redhead frowned, not wanting to agree when she still felt badly. It was then that she realized he hadn't let go of her wrist and had, in fact, shifted so that he was holding her hand.

"Shawnie?"

"Yeah?"

"You're holding my hand."

"No I'm not," he denied.

She shot him a 'really' look and held up their clasped hands. She could've sworn she saw pink on his face as he said, "I was hoping you wouldn't notice."

Juliet opened her mouth to answer, then closed it and dropped their hands. "Notice what?"

It was hard to miss his bright, beaming grin.

🌎🌎🌎

"Alright, next up for our oral reports: Miss Lawrence and Mr. Matthews," Mr. Feeny said in class the next day. "Let's go, Mr. Matthews. Remove your cap and deliver your report."

The boy stayed seated. "I can't remove my cap because our report is on the ozone layer and the cap is part of our UV-protection angle."

"No caps in my class," he said sternly.

Cory stood up, still pleading: "Mr. Feeny, if there was one shred of humanity in you, you'll let me keep this on."

"Too many years of sixth graders has bled me of my humanity. Take off your cap."

He frowned and hesitantly removed the red hat revealing his new, terrible hair. Laughter rang out in the classroom as Juliet matched his expression, still feeling guilty for having left him to deal with the consequences on his own. To her right, she heard Shawn laughing at him and the redhead leaned over to poke him harshly in the side. The boy to flinched and give her a questioning look. "What?"

She glared at him. "We helped with this situation if you've forgotten. You shouldn't be laughing."

"Why not? It's funny," he said before he returned his attention to Cory and joining in once more.

The boy turned to Topanga. "Go ahead, laugh."

"Your hair looks different," she said, sounding slightly confused. "Why would I laugh?"

🌎🌎🌎

Juliet was sitting at the lunch table with Shawn and Nicholas when Cory entered the cafeteria. Her best friend turned and waved to the boy. "Over here. . . duck head!" he finished, laughing.

The redhead's blue eyes narrowed at him and she poked the boy in the side again. "He's supposed to be your friend, Shawn!"

"Not with that hair he's not! C'mon, Cor."

"Cory!" Topanga's voice cut across the room. "There's a seat for you over here!"

He hesitated, then accepted her offer. Shawn frowned. "What's his problem?"

"Oh, I don't know— you?" Juliet sassed. "You're being a real jerk, Shawn."

He gave her an affronted look. "You can't blame me for having a sense of humor!"

"Yeah, I can," the redhead said as she stood and put away her lunch. "Especially when Cory's supposed to be our friend."

"Where are you going?" He sounded completely confused.

The girl picked up her items. "To sit with the non-jerks."

She moved to the next table. "Hey, Topanga. Is there room for one more?"

"Of course!" the girl said with a smile. "We were just talking about how to save Mrs. Rosemeade's job."

Juliet pulled up an extra chair and sat. "What's the plan, then?"

🌎🌎🌎

After successfully getting the students to sign, Juliet freed herself from the handcuffs and made her way towards the exit only to be blocked by a very familiar person.

"Shawn?"

"I apologized to Cory," he said, almost hesitantly.

"He told me," the redhead acknowledged.

"Are you still mad at me?"

She tilted her head up so that her blue eyes met his. "Walk me home?"

"Is that a yes or no?"

She stepped past him to finish her path towards the exit. "What d'you think?" 

[edited apr. 2022]