▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅

❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐘-𝐎𝐍𝐄 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ᴄᴜʟᴛ ғɪᴄᴛɪᴏɴ ꒱


❝ I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU LICKED ME! ❞

▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅▅

Mr. Turner walked up and down the aisles returning papers they'd written a few weeks ago. He turned on to Juliet's row and placed her assignment in front of her. "Capelwood, good." Two students later, he'd reached Topanga. "Lawrence, good." Then Cory. "Matthews, not bad." Finally, Shawn. "Hunter, bad."

"Turner, bell," Shawn replied as the sound rang through the halls. 

As everyone packed up their bags, Mr. Turner held Shawn back. "Wait, hold on, hold on." The boy paused, looking impatient. "Y'know, you're a junior in high school now, Shawn. You have no goals as far as I can say. Have you even thought about college?"

"I'm going to college!" Shawn protested.

"Oh, you are? Where?"

"Hawaii. I figure I have a better shot outside the country," he replied.

Juliet paused in her packing and looked up, opening her mouth to correct him. She shook her head and closed it as she put the last of her books away. Mr. Turner continued: "you know, Shawn, the people who care about you in this life, you can count on one hand. So don't-don't blow me off, okay?"

Cory and Topanga lingered behind as well as Shawn disagreed with their teacher. "John, I've got people who care about me."

"Y'know, Shawn, I think Mr. Turner's right," Cory spoke up. "Okay, I mean, we've got one more year of high school and the humidity in Hawaii is gonna make my hair go— whoo!" He demonstrated the effect, raising his hands above his head.

The redhead gave him an amused look as she slung her bag over her shoulder as Topanga added, "well, I wanna go to Penn State."

"And I wanna go where she goes," Cory announced as he wrapped an arm around his girlfriend. "Anyone surprised by that?"

"And I'm going wherever the majority goes," Juliet chimed in.

"Tick tock, the clock is moving and you're running out of time to figure out your life," Mr. Turner told him.

"Hey, John, you're not my guardian anymore. I'm back with my parents, I'll be fine," Shawn said.

"Yeah, Shawn, but I'm one of the handful of people who cares about you," their teacher repeated. "Y'know? Now your parents are busy, trying to work out their marriage. So are they." He nodded to Cory and Topanga who were walking slowly out of the classroom. He turned back to the boy. "And you know, you've had four years of security in these halls but they throw you out next year, Shawn. What're you going to do then? Huh? Who are you going to be?"

Mr. Turner left after that, leaving only the redhead behind. She approached the dark-haired boy with some caution. "It's gonna be okay, Shawnie. I don't give up easy, you know that."

He turned to her and his expression softened. "Yeah, I know, Julie." Boy, did he know.

"I'll see you in study hall?" she asked hopefully.

"I'll be right there," he promised. She nodded and exited the room, passing a dark-haired girl hanging out by the doorway on her way out.

🌎🌎🌎

"You're gonna help me and Shawn study, right?" Cory asked as he and Juliet walked to Chubbie's. "I'd ask Topanga but it's kind of a tradition that you nag us into listening."

The redhead sighed. "I don't nag. I only have your best interests at heart, Cor. It's not my fault you don't listen to me the first time."

The curly-haired boy opened the door, allowing the girl to enter first before he followed her. "But you will help us, right?" he repeated.

"'Course I will," she agreed.

"Thanks," Cory said, giving her a grateful look. "Even though it seems like we don't pay attention, I know I would get a lot worse grades if you didn't do anything at all." As they walked down the stairs, his eyes landed on their table. "Hey, look—" Then he caught sight of the other girls. "Maybe we shouldn't eat here," he suggested quickly, turning around. "It's pretty crowded."

Juliet gave him a curious look. "But we've eaten here when it's been busy before. C'mon." She proceeded down the steps.

"Well-well maybe I want to try something new," he said as he hurried after her.

She rolled her eyes. "You and I both know that we're creatures of habit." She drew up short at the sight Cory had spotted moments earlier. "Oh."

"Yeah," he agreed. "Should we leave?"

"No, no. It's okay. They're only studying," Juliet tried for nonchalance.

"You do know you're talking about Shawn, right?"

"He's been getting better about it," she insisted. "Let's go." As the girl walked over to the booth, she ignored Cory's disbelieving look. "Hey, Shawnie."

At her greeting, the dark-haired boy leapt up and quickly wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Surprised but pleased, Juliet hugged him back. To her confusion, though, he moved next to Cory whose expression turned alarmed and he pushed him away. "Hey, hey! What the heck are you doing?"

"Just saying hello," Shawn answered.

"I like it," the redhead announced.

"Well I don't," Cory countered. "Hello and let's never say it like that again." He turned to the remaining party. "Hey, three girls." They waved in response.

"Are you centered, Julie, Cory?" Shawn asked.

Juliet was even more confused. "Uh, maybe?"

"Obviously not like you," Cory replied, glancing at the three girls.

"Oh, they're from The Center," the boy explained. "I like The Center."

The redhead gave him a doubtful look, suddenly not enjoying their interaction as much. There's something about the way Shawn said The Center that made her skin crawl and alerted her defenses. 

Thankfully, Cory seemed to sense the same thing. "Uh, excuse us, three girls." They pulled Shawn off to the side. "Um, listen, Shawn," he continued. "What exactly is this Center of which you speak?"

"It's not a cult," he insisted.

"That sounds like what someone who's in a cult would say," Juliet observed with a wary expression.

"Don't judge us, guys," Shawn told them.

"Shawn, you're talking crazy," Cory said. "I mean, you were there for what? An hour?"

"The length of a journey has nothing to do with its ultimate value, Shawn," he replied, his words seeming to have obvious practice to them.

"That's nice. . ." Cory and Juliet exchanged apprehensive looks.

"Guys."

"Shawn, listen," the curly-haired boy started, "throughout our entire friendship, we've talked about everything, right? I mean, we've talked about girls, we've talked about movies, we've talked about music, but we've never talked about what you believe in."

He stood from the seat he'd taken moments earlier. "I believe that I've finally found a place where people let me be who I am. Y'know, without trying to change me or, uh, need to know what my goals are in life. I mean, why do I need that?"

"Shawn, what do you believe in?" Cory repeated.

"What do you believe in, Cory?" Shawn shot back. "Do you believe in a mother and father? A comfortable house in a comfortable street because that's what you have? Well, I don't have that so I've found something with these people."

"Sit."

The single word cut across the conversation like a whip and silenced the two boys. They both sat, though Juliet's attention was only on Shawn. She faced him and placed her hands on his shoulders as she met his guarded expression. It turned uncomfortable the longer she stared at him and said nothing. "What are you doing, Julie?"

"I'm looking for the disconnect," she replied. "Why didn't you tell me any of this? You know I didn't have a dad my entire childhood. Don't you think I know how you feel?"

How could she know how he felt though? Juliet had always been more confident, smarter, more self-assured and well-liked than he had been. She'd always seemed to know exactly what to do at any given moment. She'd always been driven and ambitious and never skated by like he did.

Instead of saying all that, though, he looked away and replied quietly, "but he came back."

"Yeah, he did," she agreed. "But that doesn't erase the feelings, Shawnie. I still have them and I have to come to terms with them, not shut them out. It's worse if you do." The redhead paused, seeming to consider a point before she continued: "if it's the change you're worried about, believe me, I know it can be scary but we'll make it through. It's us against the world, remember? And the us is Shawn and Juliet, not Shawn and The Center."

At the mention of the place, the boy immediately grew defensive. "Stop trying to take away what I have. I don't do that to you!"

The girl's grip on his shoulders tightened. "I'm not trying to take away anything, Shawnie—" she began, about to insist that she was going to give him something, but a voice from behind her cut her off.

"We really have to be going," a brunette girl announced— Juliet was almost certain her name was Brandy or Margarita or something like that.

Juliet's attention switched to her and she swung around. She glared fiercely at the other girl, who seemed unperturbed. Her changed of focus allowed Shawn to stand and step beside the brunette. As they walked away, Cory called after them: "y'know, I have a lot of questions about this place!"

Shawn looked over his shoulder and replied, "then you should check it out sometime, bud."

He left with his "study group" and Juliet stared after him. She couldn't help the prick of hurt she felt at his departure. "I really thought he was gonna listen to me," she said softly.

The curly-haired boy placed a gentle, sympathetic hand on her arm. "Should we go check out this Center, then?"

🌎🌎🌎

As much as she'd argued against Eric coming with them, the older Matthews tagged along behind as they entered The Center cautiously. Juliet looked around warily and her hand gripped Cory's elbow more tightly than he appreciated. "I don't think I like this place," she announced mere seconds after they'd entered. "Are you sure this is it?"

"Yep, this is it. This is The Center, where Shawn is," he replied.

"Con men. Fakes and charlatans, I'd say," Eric said before he raised his voice to address the other students. "Which one of you nuts validates parking?"

The redhead gave her best friend a significant look. "I told you it wouldn't be a good idea to bring him."

"Guys, listen," Cory started, "I would not underestimate these people, okay? I mean, they did get Shawn."

"Cory, Juliet, no offense to Shawn or anything, okay, but it takes a pretty weak-willed and gullible individual to succumb to this kind of blatant scam," Eric scoffed.

"Hi!" a girl's friendly voice greeted them. "I'm Alicia. Welcome to The Center." She then hugged Eric.

In response, he held out his wallet. "Here's the money, where's the room?"

Cory quickly grabbed his brother's wallet. "Ah, yes, he has his conflicts but we're not staying. We're just here for a visit."

"I understand," she said, looking past him to the other Matthews. "You're feeling lost. Alone. Abandoned."

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "My emotional palette is missing yellow and blue. Where's my room?"

As the girl pulled him away, Cory called after him. Eric's only response was to turn and reply, "no, no, no. My new nut-name is Sunflower Fortunato."

"You can't say you didn't see that coming," Juliet huffed. "This is exactly why I didn't want to bring him."

Cory turned to respond but the three girls that suddenly surrounded them made him forget their conversation. He held up the Vulcan salute. "Hello. . ."

The redhead gave him a faintly amused look as Shawn joined their group. "Cory, Julie, what are you guys doing here?"

The curly-haired boy held out his arms. "What, no hug?"

"Guys, The Center isn't the kind of place for people like you, okay?" Shawn said. "You guys all have something to believe in, I'm still looking. You should go. I belong here."

"You're wrong, Shawn," Juliet told him firmly. "You wanna know what I believe in?" When he looked at her, she continued: "I believe in you. I'll keep saying it until you believe me. I believe in our friendship and how much I care about you. I'm not gonna let you stay here."

Shawn's mouth opened and closed as he attempted to think of how to respond as Cory cut in, much less empathetically, "so that's it, huh? You've chosen The Center, you're gonna live here with these jugy fruits?"

"Cory," the redhead hissed. "I've got it."

"You didn't have it so well back at Chubbie's," he reminded her in a similar tone.

She flushed and looked away. Alicia and Eric returned, saving her from responding. "Guys, I wanna spend the rest of my life here and the beauty part is, during the winter I can go to their tanning and hugging center in the Bahamas!"

After they'd gone, Cory turned back to their best friend. "Let me tell you something, Shawn—"

"Cory, leave me alone, okay?" Shawn interrupted him. "It's not like I'm doing drugs."

Juliet threw her hands up in the air with exasperation, losing her patience with the whole thing. "It's exactly like you're doing drugs!"

"I told you that you don't got it," the curly-haired boy mumbled to her before he spoke to the other boy. "Look, Shawn, you know I'll always support you but this-this isn't you. You're having your mind messed with and everything you say now just sounds fake. You are not going to find what you're looking for here."

"Sixteen years of being out there I haven't found anything at all," he replied.

"This guy Mr. Mack can't help you find what you're looking for because you don't know what you're looking for," Cory told him. "Alright? You're sixteen years old. That's what this guys does. He makes you think you're lost so he can find you and once he has you, he'll never let you out of his sight, okay? He will be there every time you turn around—" He glanced at the redhead. "Would you quit hitting me?"

"No, Cory— look," she insisted. She jerked her head slightly in the direction of the man who had approached from behind their best friend.

"Allow me to demonstrate," he said nervously. He turned and held up the Vulcan salute again. "Hello."

"Welcome to The Center," Mr. Mack replied.

The same feeling returned from when Shawn had mentioned The Center for the first time and Juliet fidgeted next to Cory under the man's gaze. Cory picked up how she felt and nodded. "Okay, he's very powerful." He addressed the man, "who do I make the check out to?"

"You're here to see that your friend Shawn is making the right choice for himself. So, check us out. I think you're going to like what you see. Nobody judges who you are or where you come from. Everyone here is the same," Mr. Mack explained.

Juliet's eyes narrowed. "That's exactly it, isn't it? Everyone's the same. You take away their individuality—"

"Can I go in that room?" Cory interrupted her. He winced as she aggressively poked his side.

"No, that's the celebrity room," he replied before he walked away.

"I hate him," the redhead said as soon as he was gone, her tone fierce and angry. "He's disgusting, creepy—"

"That is the slickest guy I have ever seen," Cory agreed.

"So you see, guys? I'm not a prisoner here. I can leave anytime I want," Shawn said.

"Okay, then I think we should go now. I think we should leave right now," the curly-haired boy suggested.

The redhead grasped Shawn's wrist and stepped towards the door, intent on dragging him out of there if she had to. Before they could go very far, the lights dimmed and everyone's attention turned to the podium where Mr. Mack was standing under a spotlight. "Children of The Center. Welcome to our family, our new life member: Shawn Hunter."

Everyone but Cory and Juliet clapped. Then, a long procession began of everyone hugging Shawn to congratulate him. Mid-hug, he gave the pair a pointed look. "Goodbye."

"Shawn—"

"Julie, you don't belong here," he said firmly. "Go with Cory."

She began to protest but the boy— who'd already shaken off her hand— moved away to hug other "children." Cory gave her a sympathetic look. "Come on, Jules."

🌎🌎🌎

Cory and Juliet returned to the Matthews' home to find his parents talking to Mr. Feeny on the back porch. Without any preamble, Cory began to complain: "you know guys, we're his best friends and it's like he doesn't even hear us anymore. I mean, why does he suddenly have faith in this Center?"

"Okay, let's get in the car, go down and drag him out ourselves," Mr. Matthews suggested.

"Thank you!" the redhead exclaimed, giving the older man a grateful look. Finally someone was talking sense.

"I'm going with you," Mr. Feeny added. "I'm well acquainted with The Center. I've been trying to close it down for some time now. This Mr. Mack is a frightening man."

Before anyone could move, Shawn and Eric walked up the back path towards the group. "Hello Mr. Feeny, Cory, Julie, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews."

"Hello Shawn," Mr. Feeny replied.

Cory's mom moved closer to Shawn and put a hand on his shoulder. "Shawn, are you alright?"

"'Course I am. I'm totally centered."

"Thanks, Eric, for bringing him back," Mr. Matthews said.

"Actually, I brought Eric back," the boy corrected him. "Mr. Mack felt that Eric wasn't sincere and that he was just in it for the hugs."

"Well, yeah," he admitted with a grin before he headed inside the house.

"Everyone have a peaceful night, I'm going back to The Center." Shawn made to leave.

"Whoa whoa, whoa," Mr. Matthews stopped him. "No, you're not. While your parents are out of town you're our responsibility."

"That means you're staying here, in this house," Mrs. Matthews agreed.

"Yeah, Mr. Mack told me that people like you would try to talk me out of my beliefs," Shawn acknowledged.

"People like you—" Juliet started incredulously, only for Cory's hand to cover her mouth and cut her off.

"Shush, Jules," he told her before he grimaced. "I can't believe you licked me!" He quickly removed his hand and wiped it on his pants as she glared at him.

Cory's dad stepped forward. "Shawn, we love you."

"He said you'd say that."

"Alright, fine. That's enough. Get him in the house and tie him up," Mr. Matthews said with frustration.

"Shawn, these aren't beliefs. This is just a way to escape a life that doesn't have beliefs," Mrs. Matthews stated.

"That's a judgement."

"You're damn right it is," Mr. Feeny said.

"What's wrong with me trying to find something to believe in?" Shawn asked.

"Look, Shawn, I'm all for your search for spirituality, okay? But you don't seem to realize that Mr. Mack is conduct his own search for lost souls that he can influence and manipulate," Mr. Matthews told him.

"He said you'd say that."

"Yes, I'm sure he has given you a thought for every occasion," their teacher replied impatiently. A phone rang in his house, cutting him off. Excusing himself, he went to answer it.

"Look, Shawn, I don't say this very often but Feeny's making a lot of sense," Cory remarked.

"Not to me!" the dark-haired boy exclaimed. "I mean, why would Feeny feel the need to attack what I believe in?"

"Shawn, why do you need to believe in The Center so strongly?" Mrs. Matthews questioned him.

"What?"

"Shawn, before you met these people at this place, what did you believe in?" Mr. Matthews clarified.

"I don't know. Nothing."

"Do you believe in God?"

Shawn stared wordlessly at him as Mr. Feeny returned, his expression grave. Cory's dad saw his look. "George, what is it?"

"Um, Johnathan Turner," he started, "he's been in a motorcycle accident."

The words were hard to process as Cory and Juliet looked at him in shock while the boy asked, "is he okay?"

"Uh, no he isn't," their teacher replied. "Alan, would you give me a lift down to the hospital?"

"We'll all go," Mrs. Matthews countered. She shepherding everyone inside except Shawn.

"Come on, Shawn." The redhead held out her hand. "Let's go."

"I'll meet you guys there," he said instead.

"Shawn, this is Mr. Turner—"

"I'll meet you guys there!" he snapped in response before he walked away.

Juliet's mouth opened in surprise at his sharp tone and her hand fell back to her side. He'd never spoken to her like that before. Chewing on her bottom lip, she turned away and followed everyone to the car.

🌎🌎🌎

Awhile later, they were gathered in the hospital's waiting room spread out among the various chairs. The adults were sitting along the wall while Cory and Eric were sitting in a pair of seats close by. Juliet sat as near as she could in the first chair across the gap. Topanga arrived separately and chose to sit on the table between the brothers' chairs. "How's Mr. Turner?"

"The doctors are with him. We're waiting to hear," Cory replied.

"Where's Shawn?"

Juliet's expression turned bitter. "I have no idea."

"But Mr. Turner and Shawn are like brothers. How could he not be here?" she asked.

"I don't know," the redhead answered flatly.

To her surprise, the boy entered right after that, causing the trio to stand. Looking more hopeful, she approached him. "Shawn—" She was quickly cut off by the appearance of the older man from The Center. "Mr. Mack. What are you doing here?"

"Shawn thought I could be of some help," Mr. Mack said, ignoring her demanding tone. He turned to the adults. "Hello, I'm Phillip Mack." His greeting was colder for their teacher. "Feeny."

"Mack, you don't belong here," Mr. Feeny told him.

"One of my children invited me and as always, I'm here for him as well as any other child who calls for me."

"I wanna come back!" Eric stood up hopefully.

"Not you," Mr. Mack said.

"What's he doing here?" Cory asked.

"Cory, I couldn't face this alone."

"Alone?" Juliet exclaimed. "Okay, first of all, we're here, but that clearly means nothing to you. And second of all, I'm beginning to see that you are more alone than I ever knew."

A hurt expression briefly flickered across Shawn's face as he asked, "what does that mean?"

The redhead crossed her arms and gave him and gave him an irritated look. "I think you know what it means."

Mr. Mack turned to their teacher. "I just want you to know that I forgive you for trying to shut us down."

Mr. Feeny rose to his feet aggressively, causing Cory's parents to jump up and try to calm him down. "You forgive me?"

"Easy, George. He's just trying to get a rise out of you," Mrs. Matthews told him.

Mr. Matthews wasn't as easily consoled as he stood in front of the other man. "Look, you're not dealing with gullible little kids here now, buddy. Now you brought Shawn down— thanks— but why don't you just take a hike back to Conland?"

Mr. Mack looked past him to meet Shawn's eyes. "Now do you see how judgmental these people—"

Cory's dad roughly shoved him against the wall. "No, listen. You see! A judgment I made a long time ago is that Shawn Hunter is the best friend that my kid ever had and I will kill to protect Shawn Hunter from people like you."

"Alan, he would love a lawsuit," Mrs. Matthews reminded him worriedly.

Mr. Mack straightened his suit stiffly as Alan backed away. Juliet, whose attention was caught up in the altercation, startled when she felt a hand tentatively grasp hers. She looked up, surprised, but Shawn stared resolutely ahead— though she could tell he was nervous by how tense his posture was. Her angry feelings melted away and she slid her hand down the rest of the way to align their fingers properly and give his hand a comforting squeeze. Almost immediately, he relaxed and did the gesture in return.

She noticed Cory and Topanga move off to the side and the curly-haired boy gestured for them to follow him. Tugging on Shawn's arm, she fell in step with the other pair as they made their way to Mr. Turner's room. 

The state he was in shocked her, having never really seen the results of a car (or motorcycle) accident before. Her grip on Shawn's hand tightened as she stared at their favorite English teacher. The boy tried to pull his hand away. "I shouldn't be in here, this is too intense."

"For all of us, Shawn, but this is life and this is what's really happening right now," Topanga said.

He turned towards the door. "I need Mr. Mack."

Juliet wouldn't let him go. "No, you don't, Shawn. Okay? He can't help you with this. Not with this, he can't. Don't go out there."

"I can't look at him like this," Shawn insisted.

Cory leapt forward and slammed the door shut before he stood in front of it. "Cory, c'mon! Julie, let me go!"

"No," the curly-haired boy said firmly. The redhead held stubbornly on to his hand.

"Cory! Let me go!"

Instead, Cory pulled him into a tight hug. "Shawn, this is a hug, okay? This is a hug and this is when you hug somebody. When you care about them and you want them to know that!" He pulled away but still held on to the boy's arms. "Now you cannot leave here, do you hear me? Turner took care of you. He loves you and you love him. Is that real? Or are Mr. Mack and The Center real? You decide, but you cannot go."

Reluctantly— though the threat of escape had passed— Juliet loosened her grip on his hand and slid her fingers out of his. "We can go," she told him as she moved towards the door. "You can join us later."

Together, the trio left the dark-haired boy alone in the room as they retook their seats. Sometime later, Shawn exited the room and they stood. "How is he?" Cory asked.

"He's gonna be fine," Shawn replied.

"Really? Is that what the doctor said?" Mrs. Matthews questioned him.

"No, I just. . . know he is."

"Shawn, it's obviously been a very stressful day for you and I think you should come back to The Center," Mr. Mack said.

"Yeah, I think so too," Shawn agreed.

"What?" Juliet demanded.

"I wanna pick up my things and then— if it's okay— come back and stay with you guys."

"Yeah, that's okay," Mrs. Matthews replied. The redhead relaxed, relieved that they'd gotten through to him.

"Shawn, you—"

The boy held up a hand to stop whatever words Mr. Mack had to say. "Y'know, I see you right in front of me, I hear what you have to say and it's nothing. And if I was an empty person who didn't have anything to believe in, I might go with you because that would be easy. Well, I'm done with easy and I'm done with being empty. I'm done with you."

"We'll always be here for you, Shawn," Mr. Mack said.

"Yeah, I know."

The older man nodded to him and then to the group before leaving. Before Shawn could follow him out, a small weight crashed against his chest as arms wrapped around his waist in a tight hug. Warmth spread through him as he looked down, recognizing the flaming strands right away. He quickly hugged the shorter girl back and buried his face into the flowery scent of her hair. So quietly that he almost missed it, he heard her whisper, "I'm so proud of you." 

[written apr. 2021]
[edited may 2022]