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❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ɪᴛ's ᴀ ᴡᴏɴᴅᴇʀғᴜʟ ɴɪɢʜᴛ ꒱


❝ BEST. NIGHT. EVER! ❞

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"Tonight is going to be the best night of our lives," Shawn announced as the three of them met at school that morning. He pushed himself up onto the cafeteria table next to Cory while Juliet remained standing and leaned against his legs.

"Mom and dad gone," Cory said.

"Your brother, date," Shawn added.

"And who's left in charge?" Juliet asked.

"Judy, Queen of Zits!" Shawn laughed as he and Cory high-fived.

"We'll tell her she's looking especially broken out this evening."

"So she'll spend all night in the bathroom squeezing her face," Cory finished.

"I dunno guys, this seems too good to be true," Juliet said. "Our plans usually don't work."

Shawn threw an arm around the girl. "You wanna know why this one will?"

"Why?"

"'Cause it's foolproof. Absolutely nothing will go wrong."

"And you've probably just jinxed it," the redhead sighed.

"Shush, Jules," the curly-haired boy told her. "Can't you just go along with the plan for once?"

"Yeah," Shawn added. "All this alone time will let us watch." He pulled out a purple box.

"'Barney Salutes the Alphabet?'" Cory read.

"That's just the box," came the hasty explanation. "It's parent camouflage. Outside, happy purple sock. Inside, the guts are flying." He pulled out the tape.

"Whoa!" Cory exclaimed. "'I'm Blowing Up Your Head Part Six: Stumpy's Revenge.'"

"Uh—" Juliet started.

"I thought Stumpy died in Part Five," Cory interrupted her.

"Well, that's why he wants revenge," Shawn pointed out. "Don't worry, Julie. You don't have to watch any of it. I'll keep you safe."

The redhead relaxed slightly, although she had her doubts about Shawn's ability to "keep her safe." "Thanks, Shawnie."

🌎🌎🌎

"Yes, I would love another cup of tea, and would you like to try my new floppy hat?" Morgan's innocent voice sounded over the noise of the TV.

Juliet twisted around to see Mr. Feeny dressed in fake jewelry having a very disgruntled tea party with Cory's little sister, causing her to smile at their normally serious teacher. Shawn and Cory's plan, of course, had already backfired slightly when Judy cancelled, causing the older man to be left in charge.

"No, Morgan; now here I must draw the line. I will not put on your floppy hat," Mr. Feeny said.

"Aw, Mr. Feeny, don't be mean," Juliet told her teacher. "It's only a hat."

The older man rolled his eyes slightly in exasperation and gave Morgan's pouty look a stern one in return. "Now that's not going to work. We had an agreement: I was to get dressed up and come to your tea party and then you were to leave me in complete peace so that I could grade my papers. Now I have upheld my part of the bargain. I have festooned myself in costume jewelry, I have swilled your faux-tea and now I insist that you keep your end of the bargain!"

Morgan began to fake cry. 

"C'mon, Mr. Feeny. She probably doesn't even understand half of the words you've said," Juliet paused thoughtfully. "You could always let her help you grade papers."

She grinned at his look of horror and he quickly took the hat from the little girl. The redhead turned back around in time to see someone's head get blown off. She gave a little yelp of fright and turned against Shawn to bury her face in his arm.

He grinned. "Best. Night. Ever!"

Mr. Feeny stood from his chair and Cory quickly changed the screen to show a nature documentary. Juliet cautiously lifted her face to look at the TV and sighed with relief, only for her to quickly turn back against Shawn once the coast was clear.

"'Alright college girl in the shower, kiss your head goodbye!'" Stumpy said creepily.

As much as she claimed to be an independent woman, there were some things Juliet admitted that couldn't face alone and she clung tightly to her best friend as he and Cory cheered.

"Why did Stumpy blow up her head?" the curly-haired boy asked.

"Well, that's a tough one, Cor," Shawn replied. "Stumpy's a pretty complex guy."

"Yeah, he's totally not on a killing spree or anything," came Juliet's muffled voice.

"What did she say?" Cory asked and Shawn translated for her.

"Here we are," Mr. Feeny announced as he pushed open the kitchen door. Cory quickly changed the channel again.

"'After the infant Caribou is delivered, the mother licks it free of its birth fluids,'" the documentary narrated.

The boys cringed in disgust while Juliet rolled her eyes. "This is no worse than the gore of horror movies. At least it's educational."

"Oh, buck up," Mr. Feeny said. "Miss Capelwood is correct. You're watching the glorious tapestry of nature."

Cory switched the channel as soon as he could and the redhead hid her face again.

"Maybe we should always watch horror movies," Shawn commented with a grin.

"I wouldn't mind that," Cory said happily with his eyes glued to the screen and oblivious to his best friends' seating.

"I wouldn't. Besides, wouldn't you rather watch romantic movies? Y'know, to set the mood?" Juliet asked in the same muffled tone.

Shawn rolled his eyes. "There's too much kissing in those. Horror movies have action."

"I thought you'd want a kiss," the redhead said.

"Whoa! Oh, she blowed up real good!" Cory exclaimed at the TV.

"Well yeah, but not like in those cheesy movies," Shawn answered. "This is definitely better."

"For you, maybe," Juliet grumbled as she blindly reached for the boy's popcorn. Once she grabbed a handful, she carefully put it in her mouth while she avoided looking at the TV.

🌎🌎🌎

"Mr. Feeny! Man, I never thought I'd be glad to see you!" Eric exclaimed as the five of them entered the vehicle impound office.

"What seems to be the problem?" their teacher asked as the kids sat on the couch.

"Dad's car got towed," the eldest Matthews explained.

"And we can't get it back from Sasquatch," Jason added. He gestured to the bearded man who stood behind the counter.

"Oh, I'll clear this up in no time," Mr. Feeny walked over to the man behind the counter. "Excuse me, young man."

"It's, uh, Tony. With a Y."

"Fine, Tony. Might I inquire as to why you won't release the car?"

"It's like I told the kid: you ain't got a license, you ain't getting the car."

"Aren't," Mr. Feeny corrected.

"What?"

"You aren't getting the car."

"Wrong, pal. I already got the car," the man argued.

"No, no, you misunderstood me. I was simply correcting your grammar."

"I don't need talking lessons from a guy who's wearing earrings," the employee scoffed. The older man's eyes widened as he felt his ears before he quickly took off the clip-ons.

"I'll take them, Mr. Feeny," Juliet said, hopping up from the couch.

Their teacher handed them to her distractedly. "Thank you, Miss Capelwood."

"Can we get back to the car issue, please?"

As the three of them debated on freeing the car, Juliet sat back down next to Shawn and slid the earrings on to her ears. She wiggled her head slightly to make them dance, a strange weight under her earlobes.

"How do I look?" she asked teasingly.

The dark-haired boy grinned. "As beautiful as always, Julie."

The girl ducked her head slightly as her hands came up to quickly take off the earrings (props to Mr. Feeny for wearing them for so long— they hurt.)

"I might get my ears pierced this summer," Juliet said thoughtfully as she looked at the sparkly fake jewelry in her hands.

"That's a totally barbaric custom," Shawn said with a frown. "Putting holes in your ears? No thanks."

"I wasn't asking you to do it, dummy. I just thought it might be a nice change for high school."

"If you say so. I'd still come with you anyways in case you need to hold my hand," he said half-teasing, half-serious. "I've heard it can hurt a bit. Besides, what kind of husband would I be if I wasn't there to support my wife in all of her desires despite their barbaric-ness?"

The redhead rolled her eyes. "Cookie partners, Shawnie."

The boy couldn't help but smile at their familiar give and take. "Same thing," he said cheerfully. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders so that she could lean against him until everything was sorted out.

🌎🌎🌎

When they got home, the two boys raced back to the couch while Juliet eyed the TV nervously. She didn't think she wanted to 'see' any more of the movie.

"Missy, brush your teeth and go to bed," Mr. Feeny ordered the little girl. Morgan pouted but their teacher wasn't having it. "You suck that lip back in!"

"C'mon, Morgan. I'll help you," Juliet offered immediately, and she reached down to grab the girl's hand. Anything to get away from blown-up heads.

"Thank you, Miss Capelwood."

"'Course, Mr. Feeny," the redheaded girl agreed as she guided the younger one up the stairs.

🌎🌎🌎

Juliet took as long as possible with Morgan's bedtime routine, even reading the girl the requested three books to avoid going back downstairs. When she finally did, Mr. and Mrs. Matthews were home and voices were raised above a certain decibel.

"He killed our tape!" Cory was complaining as she paused at the foot of the stairs.

"What tape?" Mr. Matthews asked, causing Shawn to sigh in annoyance.

"Good move."

"Uh, tape? There is no tape, did I say tape? What was I thinking!"

"You were thinking 'good night, Shawn and Juliet,'" the boy answered as he moved towards the staircase to grab the redhead's wrist before he pulled her gently towards the door.

"Guys, you can't leave me here with this tape!"

"I didn't even want to watch it anyway," Juliet pointed out as she stumbled after Shawn, who laughed as they left. "See how little you know me?" 

[edited may 2022]