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❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ
ʙᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ꒱


❝ I'M NOT A WITNESS,
I'M A VICTIM [ . . . ] ❞

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Juliet lingered next to her friend's desk as Topanga packed up her bag. In an effort to distract the girl, she glanced over at Mr. Feeny. "So. Feudalism, huh?"

Straightening, the blonde slung her bag over her shoulder as she gave the redhead a faint smile. "I know what you're doing, Peaches."

"I'm not doing anything," Juliet countered, lying through her teeth. "I think feudalism is fascinating."

"Even I think it's boring," Topanga retorted as she scooped up her books before the pair made for the doorway. "You're trying to distract me."

"That's totally not what I'm doing," the redhead said evenly. "If you don't want to talk about feudalism what else do you want to talk about?"

Ignoring her friend's eyeroll, Juliet followed Topanga out of the classroom as she proposed the next topic: "so, are you going to Kimberly Sussman's party tonight?"

The redhead groaned. "Unfortunately. Shawn's making me go. Apparently, seeing us together is 'what the people want,'" she complained, adding air quotes for emphasis. "Those were his words, not mine."

Before the other girl could respond, Cory called over to them: "have a nice weekend, Topanga!"

The blonde turned to give him a faint smile and replied, "you too, Cory," before she faced forward again to carry on their conversation as if nothing had happened. "Well, I was planning on going—"

"Oh, you were?" Juliet asked, relieved. "That's great! You can save me."

"Oh yeah? And how am I supposed to do that?"

She thought for a moment before she beamed at her friend and grasped Topanga's arm pleadingly. "Well, we both know Cory's probably going to be there and he can be your excuse not to stay. I know it's kind of exploiting your feelings but if you act put off by him being there I can escape with you!"

"First of all," Topanga corrected her, "it isn't kind of. It is." She ignored the girl's guilty look. "And second, can't you just tell Shawn you don't want to go?"

"I've already tried that." Juliet sighed. "He's being very stubborn. Please, Panga? You're my only hope. I don't care about Kimberly's sixth nose."

The blonde grinned slightly. "I think it's only her third, Peaches. Fine, I'll think about it."

Juliet's expression brightened and she threw her arms around her friend. "You're the best!"

"Yeah, yeah," Topanga said as she patted her friend on the back. "I haven't agreed to it yet."

🌎🌎🌎

The party was exceedingly boring. Even with Shawn and Angela there, all Juliet wanted to do was leave. The redhead sighed and sank into a nearby chair to lean her head on her hand as she watched everyone else hang out.

The door opened sometime later to reveal Topanga and she perked up, half-rising from her chair before the blonde approached the curly-haired boy. She straightened the rest of the way as the two exchanged a few words before the girl headed over to the food table where Angela was standing with Kimberly. As Topanga left the pair, Juliet made a dash to her friend's side and slipped her arm into the other girl's as they made their way out of the party.

Once they were outside, Juliet gave her a concerned look. "Are you okay, Panga? You looked a little rough in there."

Topanga frowned. "Did something seem off about Cory to you?"

"He's been off ever since you broke up," the redhead replied. "Do you mean more off than usual?"

"Yeah. He seemed. . . I don't know. Not himself."

"Because he was happy?"

The blonde turned to her and gave her a sharp look. "I wouldn't ask this if Cory was happy, Juliet. I don't want him to feel bad. But I know his happy and-and this wasn't it, okay?"

Juliet raised her hands soothingly. "Hey, I'm on your side, Panga. I wasn't trying to imply anything. I just wanted to know what kind of weird it was."

"Sorry," the other girl said sounding reasonably so. "Even though we're not together anymore I'm still worried about him, you know?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I know."

🌎🌎🌎

They decided to have a sleepover and the two girls returned to Topanga's house where they wouldn't be disturbed by Cory's siblings. They were now sitting on Topanga's bed in pajamas, sharing a quart of ice cream between them as they talked about anything and everything that wasn't their boyfriends.

"Have you seen Titanic yet?" Juliet asked as she spooned some of the chocolate ice cream (the only flavor they could agree on) onto her spoon and then into her mouth.

"Yes," the blonde said enthusiastically. "I saw it this past Christmas and I've been meaning to ask you: don't you think that Jack— DiCaprio, I mean— looks a lot like your Jack?"

"My Jack?"

"You know, your ex. The one we saw at the mall."

"You think Jack Montacute looks like Leonardo DiCaprio?" Juliet questioned her incredulously. "Leonardo DiCaprio, one of the only men I would willingly leave Shawn for?"

"That's the one," Topanga replied and her tone was so smug that it made the redhead giggle. "What?"

"You-you think that my ex-boyfriend looks like someone as handsome as DiCaprio?" She was almost full-out laughing now as her friend gave her an indignant look.

"Would you stop? It's not that funny! You can't see the resemblance?"

Juliet wrapped her arms around her sides as she continued to laugh. "Oh-oh, Panga, stop talking! It hurts." She gasped between breaths as she nearly keeled over on the bed in her effort to compose herself.

Topanga's expression was unamused. "Peaches, seriously. I'm not joking!"

As her laughter died away, the redhead ran her hand over her face to wipe off the tears that had escaped. "Oh, that was a good one. Wow, I haven't laughed like that in ages."

The blonde huffed. "Fine. It looks like we'll just have to watch the movie together so I can convince you. You know—"

She was cut off by the phone ringing next to her bed. The two girls looked at it curiously as if they'd never heard the sound before. Juliet gave her friend a surprised look. "What time is it?"

"Uh—" She glanced at the clock. "Almost ten."

"Just let it ring," Juliet said dismissively. "Unless you were expecting anyone?"

"Nope," Topanga answered and they let the phone go silent. "Anyway, what I was saying—"

The phone rang again and the redhead groaned. "Just answer it."

She did so. "Hello?"

Juliet watched as her expression went from confused to concerned and the redhead's emotions changed in turn. "What is it?" she whispered loudly to the other girl.

Topanga held the phone out to her. "It's Mr. Matthews."

The redhead accepted the device and put it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"'Juliet? This is Mr. Matthews.'"

"Yeah, Topanga told me. Is something wrong?"

"'I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut your time with her short. I need you back here to reprimand your boyfriend.'"

"Shawn?" Her concern grew. "Mr. Matthews, what's wrong?"

"'He's alright,'" Mr. Matthews was quick to reassure her. "'but he and Cory got into some. . . trouble and I know he'll listen to you more than me.'"

"Trouble? That's basically Shawn's middle name. What exactly did he do?" She knew he wouldn't make such a big deal of it if it was the normal stupid stuff the boys did.

"'Well— he. . . he and Cory were arrested for being under the influence.'"

"Arrested?" Juliet demanded as her tone rose. "What on earth—" she trailed off as the rest of the man's sentence made sense to her. Under the influence. Her grip tightened on Topanga's phone and her voice grew chilly. "I'll be right there," she promised before she reached over to hang up the call.

"What's happened?" Topanga asked immediately as Juliet rose and began to change.

The redhead took a moment to respond as her mind was still trying to make sense of the situation. "Well, I know why Cory was acting so weird at the party."

"What? Why?"

"He and Shawn decided it would be a good idea to participate in underage drinking," Juliet replied as she pulled on her shirt. The evenness of her voice made even Topanga shiver slightly and when her head reappeared out of the shirt, the blonde saw the pink tinge to it which was a sure sign of anger simmering underneath.

🌎🌎🌎

Mr. Matthews returned the phone to the receiver and turned to the two boys. "She's on her way. It's best if you stay put until she gets here," he told Shawn, his voice more relaxed after Cory's admission.

Once he left the room, Shawn turned to Cory as he looked at him with wide eyes and grasped the boy's arm. "Stay here," he pleaded urgently. "She can't kill me if there are witnesses."

His friend matched his expression. "Are you kidding me? I was a part of this too! I'm not a witness, I'm a victim if I stay here and I live with her. Bye."

As Cory's feet thudded up the stairs, Shawn was left alone in the kitchen to pace anxiously as he waited for his girlfriend to make an appearance. He'd really screwed up this time. He couldn't even begin to imagine how she was feeling. If only he'd listened to the glimpse of her he'd gotten in Kimberly's bathroom mirror as she warned him not to do something so stupid. It was too late for that, though. He'd gone and done it anyway, consequences be damned— and he was damned.

He took a deep breath as he tried to steady his nerves. In all the years he'd known her, Juliet had gone through many emotions. She was someone who felt deeply and cared so much, so in explosions of emotion, her feelings were exactly that: short and volatile but extremely, extremely dangerous. He didn't think he'd ever seen her truly angry.

🌎🌎🌎

At first, Juliet thought that her reaction to the situation would be cold anger. The detached kind that was more like disappointment than fury. The one that made voices chilly, throats dry and eyes burn but without tears. Defeated.

As she walked (she'd politely refused Aunt Prudence's offer to drive her) Mr. Matthews' words finally sank in and the spark lit. The intensity of her outrage nearly surprised her but the feeling overpowered any other one. Her hands fisted by her sides as her feet carried her to her destination and her thoughts whirled madly. She could feel the heat rise to her face as it turned the telltale red that always came with her anger.

When she arrived at the Matthews', she was glad that Cory's father had had the good sense to leave the door unlocked and she threw it open, allowing it to slam with a resounding thud against the parallel wall. She ignored the noise and finally unleashed her fury: "SHAWN PATRICK HUNTER!"

(In the kitchen, Shawn jumped at the volume of her voice.)

Disregarding the still-open front door, Juliet stormed into the kitchen and gave the swinging door the same treatment as she flung it open. Crossing the space without hesitation, the redhead approached her boyfriend and paid no attention to his wide eyes or open mouth before she raised her hand to deliver a resounding slap!

Shawn's hand immediately went to his face as he gingerly touched the area she hit. The surprise of the contact made him find his voice. "Julie, what—"

"No," Juliet cut across him, clearly seething. "You don't get to ask questions. I get to talk first. What the hell were you thinking? I'll tell you the answer: you weren't! Do you seriously lack the amount of braincells it takes to make a common sense decision? Is it because you and Cory share the same mind and there's not enough smarts to go around? How could you be so stupid? Do you know the risk you took doing what you did?" As she fired furious questions at him, her hands had collided with his chest and she gave him a shove after each one. "You promised you would listen when something was a bad idea."

"When—"

"Sixth grade," she answered promptly. Her was voice still rough with anger, though her hands lowered to her sides and were clenched tightly. "Eric came to class and told us about what to expect in high school. This was exactly what he was talking about. I knew you and Cory would be idiots so I made you promise to listen to me and if you didn't, I had permission to smack you. So I did."

He remembered that day now that she'd mentioned it and how he'd added that last part in an effort to make her stop worrying about them. He'd never thought she'd actually take his words seriously. Glancing at her warily, he could see that her burst of anger was already fading and a frown was forming on her face, her bottom lip drawn between her teeth.

"Julie—" Shawn started tentatively and when she didn't interrupt him, he continued: "I'm sorry. You're right, it was a stupid thing to do. I've already promised that I won't do it again." He paused when she refused to look at him, her head bent as her eyes stayed on the floor. He lifted his hands and gently cupped the sides of her face. When their eyes met, he was startled by their wateriness. "Hey, Julie, it's okay—"

Juliet sniffed in an effort to keep the tears at bay, surprised by the sudden turn of emotions. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep her feelings together but it only helped the tears to escape. She wrapped her arms around the boy's waist to hug him tightly as he returned the gesture and he bent his head slightly to place it next to hers. Her hands gripped the fabric of his shirt as she sniffed again. "I just wish you weren't so stupid."

"Well, you do always say that I'm your idiot," Shawn replied in an effort to make her feel better.

He earned a weak chuckle. "You're the one that makes me say that."

"But it is true," he pointed out. "As long as I learn from my mistakes that's what matters, right? I won't do it again."

She looked up at him, their faces so close together that their noses brushed but he made no effort to move away. "I guess," she answered quietly as she met his eyes. "Promise me you won't."

He leaned down to press a soft kiss to her lips before he murmured, "I promise."

(Of course, he would have to break it before he kept it which she would soon find out.)

🌎🌎🌎

"Class, as we continue our study of feudalism, I would like to focus today on the life of the serf," Mr. Feeny said at the front of the room. He looked mildly surprised as Shawn raised his hand. "Mr. Hunter?"

"I don't wanna."

"You don't want to what?" he asked.

"Boring. It's boring! That's why the whole feudalism thing didn't work out. They got bored out of their freaking minds!"

Cory stood quickly in an effort to quiet his friend. "It's too far."

"No. You know, just once, I would like to learn about something somewhat relevant to our lives," Shawn continued.

Juliet stared at her boyfriend, uncertain of where this behavior was coming from. She leaned forward. "Shawn, shut up. I say this with love."

"What's the matter with you?" Topanga asked.

"Nothing," Shawn said. "Why don't you stop being so crazy and sit on Cory's lap?"

"Mr. Hunter, we will discuss your outburst at the end of the class," Mr. Feeny informed him.

"Cool, so let the boredom begin," the boy announced. He mimicked a trumpet.

That was the last straw for their teacher. "Mr. Hunter, please leave."

"Okay," Shawn agreed as he stood. "But only because you asked me so nicely."

🌎🌎🌎

After school, Topanga and Juliet nearly raced over to the apartment to confront the boys about Shawn's behavior. A nauseous feeling formed in the redhead's stomach that told her exactly what the problem was (she ignored it in hopes that she was wrong.) They walked in on Jack yelling at his brother: "he's my father too, man! Alcoholism is in our family and you shouldn't drink!"

"Shawn?" Juliet questioned him. She swallowed against the sudden dryness of her throat. He'd promised.

"After the other night, Shawn, I feel like I can never drink again," Cory said.

"It's true, then? You were drinking?" Topanga asked. She hadn't wanted to believe the story her friend had shared with her.

"Yeah," Shawn answered. "What do you figure that was about? I wonder!"

"You know what, Shawn? Shut up, okay? We agreed to stop drinking. I have. You obviously haven't."

"What do think that's about? I wonder," Jack mocked him.

"Shawn, you promised," the redhead addressed him directly. It took a great effort to keep her voice even. "You told me you wouldn't. Don't make me slap you again."

The dark-haired boy started laughing. "Nobody's listening to me. I drink this stuff because I like it. It makes me feel good. Hello! Hello! Is this thing on? I have no problem."

Alright, that's it.

Juliet, having had enough of her boyfriend's behavior, marched up to him and snatched the bottle from his grasp. She ignored Cory's warning tone as he said her name and Shawn's pleased look that he thought someone was joining him. Instead, she held the bottle up. "You want this, Shawn? Huh? You want this? Well, you can't have it." With that, she turned abruptly and threw it against the wall with all her might, causing the glass to shatter and liquid to spill on the floor. She turned back to the boy and pointed a finger at him. "You're going to leave alcohol alone, do you hear me? You're better than—"

She was cut off as Shawn interrupted her. "Leave me alone," he retorted and, in an effort to copy her from the previous night, his hands made contact with her shoulders as he gave her a push to assert his point.

The redhead stumbled backward from the strength of his impact and her eyes flashed as she found her balance. She strode forward once more raised her hand, her palm tingling from the force of her hit. "I don't like that you drink," she told him firmly, her tone unyielding. "Call me when you don't."

She turned and, with Topanga following her, left the apartment, unaware of Shawn's sudden clarity and shocked, devastated face at the drastic turn of events.

🌎🌎🌎

She had decided to ignore all of her boyfriend's calls for the entire weekend, wanting to make sure that he really did stick to his promise this time. When she arrived at school on Monday, Juliet couldn't help but feel slightly nervous at the thought of seeing him again as she was still disconcerted at the reaction he'd had to alcohol.

As it turned out, she didn't have to wait long to see him since the boy was standing at the entrance to Mr. Feeny's class and (if this was any other situation) with a look so apologetic it would've been comical. As she approached, he spoke up tentatively. "Julie, I am so, so sorry," he began quietly. "I—" He hesitated, having thought over what he was going to say for days but now it didn't seem like enough. Instead, he went with: "I don't like me when I drink either."

She looked up at him and gave him a soft smile— a peace offering. "Good. Because I sure like you when you don't." 

[written may 2021]
[edited jun. 2022]