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❛ ᴏᴄᴇᴀɴ ᴇʏᴇꜱ​​​​​​​​​​. ❜ ° . ༄
- ͙۪۪˚   ▎❛ 𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄 ❜   ▎˚ ͙۪۪̥◌
»»————- ꒰ ʙ & ʙ's ʙ ᴀɴᴅ ʙ ꒱


❝ HAVE YOU NEVER
LISTENED TO A SINGLE
WORD I'VE SAID? ❞

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Juliet tagged after Shawn as he followed Mr. Feeny around, trying to get out of the business assignment their teacher had set them. She'd tried to convince the boy that it wasn't that hard and if he'd just listen, he'd get it in no time. Unfortunately, her tactics didn't seem to work and now Mr. Feeny was making an obvious effort to get away from Shawn. It was rather amusing to watch if you weren't the one being chased.

Moments later, they burst through the Matthews' door as the dark-haired boy continued: "I tried. I tried. I tried, I tried, I tried. I don't get the assignment and even Julie couldn't explain it to me. I want to drop economics. Business, figures, numbers. . . I just can't keep it in my head. Whoo-hoo," he finished, using the sound effect to gesture the information leaving his head.

"Shawn, it's simple," their teacher said, "come up with a business, pretend your running it and write a report."

"Oh! Now I—" He repeated the motion. "Whoo-hoo. You see? Now come on, let me drop the course. No Hunter has ever made it in business. Why cause me agony? Why?"

"I like it," the older man replied with a smile. He pointed to the table. "Shawn, sit down. It's quiet time."

"Sorry, Mr. Feeny, I tried," Juliet told their teacher as she passed him.

He patted her on the shoulder. "I know, Miss Capelwood, I know." He turned to Cory's mom. "Amy, these are my house keys. I really appreciate you looking after things while I'm away this weekend."

"Oh, sure, George. Now is there a number at the hotel in case we need to reach you?" Amy asked.

"Actually, I'm staying at a lovely bed and breakfast."

"Good for you," Cory said, "living in someone else's home, eating someone else's food." He sent Shawn a pointed look since the boy had started eating a banana and had taken a sip from the bottle of juice that was open on the table. Juliet reached over and finished the juice for him before she gave Cory a sarcastic smile.

"So, what's the rent like? Two bucks?" Shawn questioned the adults.

"Actually, Shawn, a room in a nice bed and breakfast can go for as high as two hundred dollars a night," Amy answered, "right, George?"

"Not this one."

"Two hundred dollars a night? Wow," the dark-haired boy seemed surprised.

"I have made a list of things that need to be done," Mr. Feeny told Amy, "plants to water and uh, plants that will need vitamins and plants that need to be rotated to get the morning sun. Oh, you'll be fine. Thank you!" He kissed her on the cheek before he left through the back door.

Amy looked down at the notes and then glanced at the trio sitting at the table. She tossed the list and keys towards the group. "Just don't kill them."

🌎🌎🌎

As Cory dutifully watered the plants, Shawn explored Mr. Feeny's house while Juliet sat at the piano, lifting the lid to look at the keys curiously. Cory looked over at them. "Shawn, Jules, what're you doing? It's just a house."

"No, no, no, no. This is Feeny's house. There's got to be. . . I don't know, some shrunken heads, some eyeballs in jars, voodoo dolls," Shawn replied.

"Now why would he have stuff like that?" Cory asked.

"Well, he took them from me last year."

Juliet rolled her eyes. "And I didn't know he owned a piano. I wonder if he plays it."

"Who cares?" Shawn said, "do you wanna go jump on Feeny's bed? I've always dreamed of doing that."

She thought for a moment before she shrugged. "Sure, why not?" and stood.

Taking her hand, he all but charged up the stairs, causing her to laugh in amusement at his excitement. "Shawnie, Cor's right. It is just a house."

"Yeah, but how often do you get to go inside a teacher's home?"

"Uh, you lived with Mr. Turner," she replied. He opened the first door to reveal a decent sized bedroom that was tastefully decorated.

"But he's a cool teacher," he pointed out, leaving the door open as they went to the next room. "Feeny's old and stodgy so I bet there's something weird he's hiding."

She just shook her head at his reasoning as the next room revealed another bedroom. "Jeez, how many bedrooms does he need?"

"Well, maybe he likes a change of scenery," Shawn suggested.

The third door revealed the main bedroom which she guessed was where their teacher slept. Even if she hadn't already known he didn't have children, she would be able to tell just from how fancy everything looked and the fact that decorative (breakable) vases and statues were within reaching distance.

She approached the bed and began taking off her shoes, prompting the boy to give her a curious look. "What are you doing?"

"I don't want to get dirt on the bed," she explained, "I might be jumping on it but I still respect him."

Juliet then climbed on the bed and stood, starting off just by gently feeling the give of the mattress. As she began to jump around, a fourth door caught Shawn's attention. "I'll be right back, I wanna check this out."

Her eyes followed him interestedly as she gained height on her jumps, watching as he opened the door to reveal a rather large bathroom. She caught a glimpse of a large tub as he disappeared inside. A moment later a sudden scream sent her scrambling off the bed and into the bathroom as she looked around quickly. "Shawnie, what's wrong?"

"It's okay, Julie," he said after a moment, "I thought I saw a poster of me but it's just a mirror."

She stared at him. "Way to nearly give me a heart attack."

He gave her a guilty look. "Sorry. Let's go back downstairs."

The redhead collected her shoes and slid them on before she followed him back to where Cory was. The curly-haired boy looked up from the plant he was taking care of. "Is everything okay? I heard Shawn scream."

"Everything's fine," she answered, "he just got spooked."

The boy next to her huffed but didn't contest her point. Instead, he said, "guys, this is like nothing you've ever dreamed of."

"What?" Cory asked.

"Okay, he's got three bedrooms, beautifully decorated, but here's the best thing: Feeny's got a six-foot round tub," Shawn reported.

"Well, the man's gotta bathe."

"With jets," Juliet added.

"Ooh, that sounds nice," Cory said.

Shawn's expression turned thoughtful. "Y'know, I may have an idea for my economics project. I'm gonna get started." He turned to the redhead. "Julie, I'm gonna need your help."

She smiled brightly at him. "You got it."

"Well, good for you," the curly-haired boy told him.

The pair left him watering plants as they exited Mr. Feeny's home. "So, Shawnie, what's your project gonna be?" Juliet asked.

"I just got the idea," he started, "Mr. Feeny said he was staying in a bed and breakfast, right?" When she nodded, he continued: "I'm gonna make a bed and breakfast for my project."

"That's a brilliant idea, Shawnie. How're you going to get started?"

"Well, I was thinking we'd start advertising so we could book real guests."

Her smile fell slightly. "In Mr. Feeny's home?"

"It's perfect," Shawn explained, "he's got three nice rooms, three willing workers—"

"What about handling real money, Shawn?" Juliet asked, "we haven't ever handled more than, like, forty dollars. Two hundred is a lot different."

"That's why you'll be my CFO," he told her, "since you're smarter than Cory and me and you're more responsible."

She couldn't help feel a little proud of the title even though she knew it wasn't real. "CFO, you say? Okay, I'm listening— though you know I'm not as good at math as other subjects, right?"

"You've still done better on tests than Cory and I have," the boy said, "besides, you'll get to keep all the tips you make."

The redhead frowned as she mulled it over. "Alright. You drive a hard bargain, but I'll help. But you can't run a professional business dressed how we are."

🌎🌎🌎

There were definitely several pros to their plan. Juliet liked dressing up and the fancy French knot she'd asked Topanga to do made her feel very adult-like. It helped that their guests tipped generously and Shawn looked distractingly good in professional attire as well.

She followed him down the stairs after checking in their Dutch guests, the boy holding a clipboard in his hands as Cory caught sight of them. "What are you guys doing at Feeny's house without me?"

"Actually, we're here to work on my school project. You proud?"

"Why here?" Cory asked.

"Julie?" Shawn prompted her, knowing she could come up with a better lie than he could.

"He's got a nice house," she answered evenly, "can you rotate these plants just a little?"

Unfortunately, Cory didn't seem to believe her. "No, no, no. What's you school project, Shawn? No, don't tell me. Yes, tell me! Tell me, but lie!"

Shawn didn't answer and instead handed him the clipboard. He began looking through it, reading the notes on each page. "A bed and breakfast. Okay." He seemed relieved and patted the dark-haired boy on the shoulder. "Okay, nothing to worry about here! Oh, look at this, you're even advertising!"

"Yeah, a little sign-up at the airport near duty-free," Juliet answered.

"That was Julie's idea," Shawn added proudly. She smiled, pleased with being given the credit.

"Thorough, Shawn, incredibly thorough!" Cory turned to the next page. "Well, look at this! You've even got guests checked in. . ." He looked at the payment. "Got their credit cards, given them names. 'The Timmers.' Huh, kinda cute."

"Uh, Cor?" the redhead started, but before she could finish their guests came downstairs, making the curly-haired boy jump.

"Who are you?"

"Ve are the Timmers," Mrs. Timmer answered in her Dutch accent.

Cory stared at the card. "Of course you are! It says so right here on— on your credit card. The Timmers. . ."

"Yah."

"He's gonna scream now, isn't he?" Juliet asked with a sigh.

Cory answered her by yelling: "SHAWN!"

"Feeny left the keys to his house. He knows this is going to happen. He wants this to happen—"

That didn't appease him and Cory continued to scream as he flapped his arms around. Shawn gave him a patient look. "Cory, if you're going to stay at my bed and breakfast, I'm gonna have to ask you to keep your voice down. The Moorparks are upstairs napping." Cory quieted and bit his knuckles as Shawn explained: "newlyweds, they're here on the honeymoon package."

Their guests' attention had wandered and Mr. Timmer was looking curiously at one of Mr. Feeny's vases. Predictably, Cory panicked. "Hey, put that down!"

"Ve are the Timmers!" came the response.

The curly-haired boy turned to glare at his friends. "Cory, they're Dutch," Shawn told him, "please, allow me." He turned to the guests. "Werp het in de lucht en zie for yourself hoe licht het is."

While she couldn't speak Dutch, Juliet could see what his words meant as the couple tossed the vase in the air before they put it down to continue looking around. Cory grabbed Shawn by the shoulders. "Shawn. The Moorparks and the Timmers— that's it, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. That's it."

"Okay."

The front door opened to reveal another elderly couple carrying a suitcase. "Hi! We're here!"

Juliet turned and smiled at them. "Oh, the Hecks! Arnie and Gloria from Boca! They booked through the last-minute club," she told Cory.

"Gloria! I said I wanted to stay in a Ritz-Carlton. The bed and breakfast, it's a little foofy, no?" Arnia asked his wife.

"I wanna pick something. I wanna pick ONE time! And I like it. It's got. . .charm. You understand charm?" Gloria responded.

"I understand no minibar. I understand no macadamias."

"Offer a few bucks to the cabbies, that way they tell 'em the hotels are full and bring 'em right here," Shawn explained to Cory.

Juliet sighed. "Here we go again."

"OUT! OUT! I WANT YOU ALL OUT!" the curly-haired boy shouted.

"I'm terribly sorry about him," the redhead apologized, "he's our bellhop. We think his rude and obnoxious behavior brings a certain .. . interesting aspect to our staff."

"I like him!" Arnie stated, "here, boychik." He handed the boy one of the nearby vases. "Put this in my room."

Cory turned to his friends. "I have to kill you both now."

Juliet rolled her eyes. "Stop overreacting. I have a feeling we're gonna pull this off for once."

"So, where's the good shopping?" Gloria asked.

"Well, why don't we ask our concierge?" she responded.

"Concierge?" the curly-haired boy repeated warily.

Shawn rang the bell and Topanga emerged on the second floor, walking down the stairs to join them. Cory stared at her. "No. Not you, Topanga. Juliet I understand, but how could someone as sweet and honest as you get mixed up in one of Shawn's evil schemes?"

"Hey!" the girl protested, swatting at him.

Cory turned to her. "I'm pretty sure you can't say no to Shawn."

Juliet opened her mouth to protest but closed it, knowing he was right. Topanga answered her boyfriend's question. "Because of this." She turned to the guests. "Why don't I show you to your suite and then we can map out your day."

Arnie handed her a folded-up dollar bill. "Here. Buy yourself some heels."

The blonde smile at their guest and shrugged. "It's a living."

"Topanga knows more about shopping than I do," the redhead explained, "so I'm the financial executive."

Cory stared at his friends. "You will get caught."

"We will get caught," Shawn corrected him.

"I said no 'we.' I said 'you.' I said no 'we!'" Cory exclaimed.

"Cor, calm down," Juliet said patiently, "take a deep breath—"

"Julie," the dark-haired boy interrupted her, "I've got this." He looked at Cory. "You had the key, you let us in. As far as Feeny's concerned, you're the brains."

"The brains? Shouldn't that be Jules' role?"

"I'll let you have it this time," Juliet replied, "but don't get used to it."

"I rather like that," he realized, "okay. Promise me that when Feeny returns, he find his house exactly as he left it, okay?"

"You have our word."

"Good."

Mrs. Timmer approached the group, asking, "is dit punt voor verkoop?"

"Ja!" Shawn answered, "in feite, alles u bent ziet voor verkoop."

"Dank u, dank u!" she responded.

Juliet watched the interaction suspiciously. "I really don't like not being able to understand Dutch."

🌎🌎🌎

That evening, the B and B guests, Topanga, Cory and Juliet stood around the piano while the curly-haired boy played By the Light of the Silvery Moon. While she didn't know the words, Juliet hummed along to the song and joined in at the chorus, seeing as how the lyrics were the title. Once he finished, everyone applauded and dropped tip money in the jar for Cory.

"Oh, thank you, thank you," he said, "remember, drive safely."

Shawn emerged at the top of the landing. "News from the honeymoon suite: the Moorparks have eaten!"

The group cheered as he came downstairs to join them. As they were about to disperse, Juliet turned to Mrs. Henk. "Don't forget, tomorrow morning, sunrise nature walk with Miss Lawrence. Make sure you wear comfortable shoes."

"Goodnight," she told the girl kindly.

"Chocolate mints?" her husband asked.

"Right on your pillow," Topanga answered.

The older man turned to the two boys. "Are they your girls?"

"Sure is," Cory answered as he stepped up next to his girlfriend.

Shawn's expression softened as he looked at the redhead. "One day."

"Mr. Lucky," Mr. Henk told Cory before turning to the dark-haired boy. "You better act fast, young man."

"I know," both boys responded.

"Zierhut gespielt," Mrs. Timmer said.

"Good night," Cory told them.

After everyone went upstairs, Cory counted his money. "Wow, forty-two dollars and fifty cents. Now we can afford that public defender."

"Cory," Juliet started, carefully avoiding Shawn's eyes as his answer to Mr. Henk's question repeated itself in her mind.

"I cannot do time."

"We are not getting caught," Shawn told him, "we have grown as schemers. You always thought that you would rub off on me, but instead I have corrupted you and Julie."

"Don't give yourself that much credit, Shawnie," Juliet countered lightly, "I'm still pretty good."

"Of course you are," he gave in, "but Cory's as shady as I am now, you have to deal with it."

"Wrong, Shawn, okay? The universe will catch up with us. I trust the universe," Cory replied, looking up at the ceiling.

"Yeah, well, the universe better hurry up because they're leaving tomorrow. All we have to do is make it through breakfast and we didn't get caught."

"We-we have to get caught at breakfast," the boy protested, "they're all leaving after breakfast, we gotta get caught at breakfast." He looked up accusingly. "You hear me?"

"Wait a minute—" the dark-haired boy said, "are we feeding them breakfast?"

"Shawn!" Juliet exclaimed, "it's literally in the name!"

"There it is," Cory announced, pleased.

🌎🌎🌎

Unfortunately for Cory, they didn't get caught at breakfast and the guests were gathered in the living room, preparing to leave.

"Are we really gonna get away with this?" Juliet asked.

"We've gotten away with tons of things, Julie. I don't know why you're so surprised," Shawn replied.

The redhead gave him a 'really?' look and put her hands on her hips. "Oh yeah? Name one."

"Well—" he started with a frown.

"We've never gotten away with anything," she told him smugly.

"But this time you're supporting me— my idea," he corrected himself, "that's why everything's gonna work."

"You're going to get a good grade on this project whether you like it or not," the redhead said decisively, "that's the only reason why I said yes."

Cory joined them before they could say anything else. "Okay, we did it," he said, "the upstairs is in shambles and every dish Feeny owns is in the sink. Now we get caught and I am at peace because, without punishment, my world would lose both form and meaning."

"You were one of those kids that enjoyed getting spanked, weren't you?" Shawn questioned him.

"I always deserved it," he admitted.

Mrs. Henk came downstairs wearing cleaning gloves and holding a bucket of supplies and a feather duster. "You kids made us feel so welcome that we all tidied up after ourselves."

"What?" Cory exclaimed.

"And Nona did all of the dishes."

"Ve are the Timmers!" came the standard reply.

As they went into the kitchen, Cory looked up at the universe. "Don't you know it's us?"

Shawn gave him a pleased look. "Well, forget it, Cory. The universe cares jack about us."

"I worry about you a lot sometimes," Juliet told the curly-haired boy.

He paced anxiously around the floor. "I'm uncomfortable with this. I don't feel right. I mean, in the old days, we'd be standing here, patting ourselves on the back, Jules would be predicting when things would go awry, you'd look towards the door—" Both Juliet's and Shawn's eyes did as he said, "like that, because the doorknob would be turning— like that, and the door would open and Feeny would be standing there—"

Mr. Feeny stood in the entrance, making Cory scream. He was unperturbed at the sight of the trio. "Ah, the Messrs. Matthew and Hunter, Miss Capelwood."

"The universe still cares about us!" Cory said.

"Yes it does," Shawn sighed.

"Blast, my overnight bag. It's still in the cab. I'll be right back," their teacher remembered, closing the door again.

"Wait, wait, wait, we can still pull this off! All we have to do is get our guests checked out in the next—"

"Fifteen seconds," Juliet finished, "let's hurry."

"No, not gonna. It's over, it is time. I am at peace."

Their guests reappeared with Gloria talking to her husband. "Arnie, if we don't leave in the next five seconds, we are gonna miss our flight and then we'll have to take a connection over Dallas."

"Dallas, like I need Dallas right now," he complained, turning to the other couple. "Uh, splitten ze taxi?"

"Yah, yah," Mrs. Timmer agreed.

"Okay, thanks for staying with us," Shawn told them, "I've got your deposits and I'll be holding your rooms for Christmas."

"See, they're going out the front door," Cory observed, "Feeny's at the front door. It's over, over now. I'm goin' towards the white light—"

"Let's go out the back door, I want to take that bench with me," Arnie suggested.

In some sort of parallel to a cartoon, the guests left through the back the same second Mr. Feeny entered through the front as he said, "that was close." Juliet couldn't agree more.

"Well, here she is, Mr. Feeny. Your house," Shawn said, clearly pleased, "how's she look? Does she look the same?"

"Here it comes. . ." Cory whispered.

"Hang in there, buddy."

Mr. Feeny inspected the area. "Well, the credenza is nicely polished. The plants look well-sunned."

"Look," Cory noticed suddenly, "the statue. The Hecks killed us, good."

"What?"

"Very nice," Mr. Feeny approved, "wait a minute. Where's my statue?"

"I confess! All is right with the world!" Cory exclaimed, holding his hands out. The statue landed in them as Mrs. Heck returned the item, unnoticed by their teacher. "Oh, that's just not possible."

"Right here, Mr. Feeny," Shawn told him, "just giving it a quick polish."

"I must say, you kids have done a terrific job," Mr. Feeny complimented them.

Juliet grasped Cory's wrist firmly. "Just say thank you and walk towards the door," she instructed him, smiling brightly at Mr. Feeny.

"Thank you and walk towards the door," he repeated.

The trio quickly made their way to the exit but froze as their teacher spoke again: "how much money did you actually make?"

They turned to look back at him and Shawn's face fell as Juliet's eyes widened. The only happy expression was Cory's as he went up to the older man and shook his hand. "Thank you! Thank you!" He looked up. "I knew you still cared about me."

"How'd you figure us out, Mr. Feeny?" Juliet asked, "I thought I covered all the details."

"It was the cab driver," he answered, "I gave him my address. He said he knew the place very well and I should get the room with the jacuzzi."

"Oh, the cab driver! I forgot the cab driver!" Shawn realized, and the redhead reached up to smack him on the head.

"I gave you one job, Shawnie!" he gave her a sheepish look in reply.

"So I guess you want the money back."

"I think that would be appropriate," their teacher agreed.

Shawn handed the money over and asked, "so, how much trouble are we in?"

Mr. Feeny counted the bills. "Woah. Oh, the usual, Mr. Hunter."

"That's it?"

"Well, Mr. Hunter, you took a risk. I happen to have a soft spot right now for risk-takers."

Juliet leaned closer to the dark-haired boy. "Take another risk and ask for the money back."

"Can I have the money back?"

"Yes, you can. When you're in college," Mr. Feeny answered.

"College?"

"Well, you've already proved to yourself that you have a future in business. That and a college education, you'll do fine," he said, patting the boy on the shoulder.

"You hear that?" Shawn asked, "I'm gonna be okay in this world. I don't have to be a criminal."

"And the universe is a better town for that," Cory said.

Juliet stared at him. "Have you never listened to a single word I've said?" 

[written mar. 2021]
[edited may 2022]