19

A GOODBYE

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Alex groaned softly as she felt her eyes fluttered open to see the morning light beginning to poke through the soft gaps in the curtains. It was a simple detail she had never picked up on before, but now more than ever she needed the simplicity in her life. With everything going on around her, she had missed so much.

She missed how she hadn't been to visit the Beavers and their children, or how she had hardly spent time with Marcel's new foal. It seemed as if everyone was getting on with their life apart from her.

But it was just nature's way of balancing out Narnia. Or that was what she told herself. Perhaps it made it easier to know that in her death, or disappearance, there would be new life and joy in the world. She needed to know that if she was going to be gone, even if there was hope that she could return one day, that everyone else would live or be happy.

As she gasped in pain silently, trying to not wake up the sleeping boy beside her, his arms still wrapped around her tightly to try and give her warmth. She tried her hardest to ignore the pain of feeling every muscle, limb or cell freezing over and preparing for the next stage of her life - or better yet, potential last stage of her life.

The gasping girl slid out from underneath Peter's embrace carefully as to not wake him, her feet touching the cold floor only to find that it was occupied by three others; the Pevensie King and Queens. A small smile crept onto her face at the thought of all three of them sneaking in late at night as she slept, taking only a blanket and a pillow to help them sleep.

Regardless, the girl was on a mission. She pulled herself gently across the flooring of her bedroom, snatching up a bundle of paper on the way, and then to the door where she hesitated. Was she really ready to leave?

With a small tug of her lips and final glance their way, she closed the door behind her ever so gently before making her way through the halls of Cair Paravel. Taking her time to admire the castle for the last time. So many memories built within four walls, so many that she hoped would still be there if she ever woke up.

There was only one person, or rather horse, that she wanted to say goodbye to. Only, she spotted the familiar red scarf of her dear friend Mr Tumnus as he approached her with a warm smile, "Good morning, Sir Alexandra. Do you need any help today?"

"I was actually hoping you could do me a slight favour," the faun nodded his head at her request, "I was wondering if you could deliver these letters to a few friends: this is for Peter's office, Lucy, Susan, Edmund, this is to the Beaver's Den, General Oreius and lastly, this one is for you. They are to be strictly opened later and not right away."

Tumnus smiled and took the bulk of letters in his arms and nodded his head, "Of course, I will be right on the task. I'll see you later."

They both parted ways until she abruptly turned, "Mr Tumnus! You have been a great friend all these years and I will never forget all you have done for me and the Narnia cause. So thank you."

"It's been a pleasure, Crimson Knight," the faun practically bowed to her with a grin, "I'll see you at lunch, I heard that they were serving quite the meal today."

Tears almost threatened to spill, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

It wasn't long until she had stopped outside the stables in the eerily quiet courtyard and watched as Marcel gazed at Harlow and his foal lovingly. He and Harlow, Peter's unicorn, had recently welcomed their newest addition to their family into Narnia; Lydia.

She was a beautiful foal that followed after her mother and father in colour; with a jet black coat and small white socks around her hooves and even a white spot on her head where one day a horn would eventually poke through. Lydia would one day serve the Kings and Queens and serve on the front lines if it were to come for that, all if she wanted to of course.

That was one of the positives of the Pevensie reign; free will. Not a single Narnian was forced to fight in the army or to work if they chose not too. That was why they were so loved in their kingdom, the Narnians appreciated the change in laws and opportunities and took advantage of them all whilst they still could.

"What are you doing up?" Marcel whispered to not wake up his child as he silently trotted her way, "And, before you ask, I am under strict orders to not take you out of the castle grounds."

Alex just let her lips rise in a small smile, "Under Peter the Magnificent's order I presume. But I was just getting ready to go out on a small walk with Peter actually," she lied so openly and convincingly to her closest companion, "He wanted to visit the old grounds of Aslan's Camp whilst we still can."

Marcellus neared her even more and let the Crimson Knight throw her arm over his neck soothingly, he had the sense that this was more of a goodbye than anything and he hated the feeling of it so he nuzzled into her touch.

"I have hope for you and Peter, I have faith that this will all work out and that this is not a final goodbye between you and him or anyone else for that matter. I have hope because that's all we can have in situations that seem impossible; when we were both hostages under the Witch I would dream of an escape, and before you knew it, we were freed," he explained as she continued to brush her hands over his coat, feeling each scar under her stiffening fingers, "So, I know that there really is no walk with Peter which can only mean one thing, an escape."

"You know me too well."

"Which is why I can't let you go alone," Marcel kneeled down so that it was much easier for her to jump onto his back and ride away to where ever she needed to, "No one deserves to walk alone to their demise, no one."

She thought of how she had walked with Aslan to the Stone Table, she had said something similar. Alexandra beamed at her friend before jumping onto his back and feeling the wind coursing through each white strand of hair on her head. It often felt different due to the braids that she would usually tie into her hair but now she felt free.

Once again she made sure to admire each and every tree or Narnian that they rode past on their journey, if she ever woke up this would be amongst all her final memories that she would have. She only wished that she would have the memories of her time in Narnia, all 99 years of it. As much as she hated the 98 years under Jadis' rule and everything she was made to do, the tasks that she completed and the torture that she endured only defined her character even more and made her who she was.

But more importantly, she wanted to remember his face. Peter's face. Alexandra wanted to remember how his dimples would grow when he laughed, how his eyes twinkled down at her or even how his golden hair swooped down past his ears in loose curls. She even wished to be able to picture his face on the night of the coronation and the way that his hands felt against the small of her back; she craved to feel that touch again.

"This is where we must part," she nearly sobbed out as they neared the place that she had asked him to take her too, a field just past the lake that the Ice Palace would have been. The two had engaged in light chatter between them as she told him of her plan and strangely enough, he agreed with it.

In his words exactly, 'sleeping for a very long time with the chance of waking up is much better than being stuck within her own body as the world moves on'.

"I just want to thank you for everything," he chittered and turned abruptly so that she didn't see the emotion filling up in his eyes.

"Marcel," the name dripped from her lips sadly and made the horse halt, "Thank you."

Without another word, he left.

It was almost calming to be in the quiet salvation of the field or even how in the very centre stood the tall, withered remains of the Aurora Tree. Upon closer examination, Alexandra noticed the bright, purple petals of the Drowsy Pudina flowers growing in patches.

My Dearest Peter,

I hope that this letter finds you well because the thought of you not knowing what I have to say is what troubled me the most recently; the thought of you thinking that I would leave and not say goodbye is what almost made me not give up. But with each passing moment, I can feel the ice flowing through my veins and I fear that it will be too late and these words will be nothing but jumbling around the mind of my frozen body. So this is why you need to listen closely to what I have to say and I mean really listen.

Don't doubt yourself.

I trust that you remember that you are the King of Narnia, a true ruler. But what is most important to me is knowing that you won't be alone, I wouldn't have done what I did if I was going to be leaving you alone. Not only do you have an army behind you, but you have your siblings. From the short time of me knowing the Pevensie siblings, I know that each one holds a trait so special to each and so essential to Narnia. But what you haven't realised yet is that when you put these traits together that you will do more than what you think you could. You could conquer cities, save lives or even return home if you must.

But I guess that Narnia is your home now. Even I felt it. After being here for so long the thought of London gave me this fear even though that is where I was born and raised. Narnia is more than the lands, it's the people - well, Narnians.

But we are Narnians now.

We have a duty.

But we also have a duty to ourselves. To put us first in a time of need.

So, in as many words as I can write before the tears fall, I love you Peter Pevensie. With every inch of my heart and every ounce of my being. You are truly my first love; you are my saviour. You melted the ice in my heart when no one else could and you gave me the hope I needed the most. I say this knowing that I want you to know that you can't hold on to me. You need to do what is right by you, your family and our country. Even if that means finding a new love somewhere else.

Just know this, Peter, there will always be a part of me that belongs to you. A part of me that will forever sit beside you on the beaches to watch the sunrise and set. A part of me to wipe your tears as they slip past your eyes. But there will always be all of me to love you.

With all my love, Alexandra Dawson.

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Just one more chapter until I have finished part one so I hope that you have enjoyed!