' NOT INTERESTED '

Bailey Ryde knew nothing but heartbreak. Everyone she had ever been with, everyone she had ever loved hurt her, used her, betrayed her.

The tragedy began with her parents, it was their cruel hands which first dug their way into her heart. The majority of her childhood being spent listening to their arguments. Her father always seemed to win, he possessed a natural ability to piss off anyone he came across, her mother was no exception. The fights often became physical, another thing he constantly bested her at. Her mother quickly decided that if she were forced to sport a black eye then her daughter should have one equally as painful to match.

Of course this couldn't last forever, eventually social services had to get involved. It was then that the failed adoptions began. She was thirteen at the time, the people willing to adopt teenagers already few and far between. Every time someone chose to take her home, every time she thought maybe, just maybe, she could finally be happy it was ripped away. It seemed her father had passed down his talents, no matter what she did she always seemed to irritate people. Sometimes she was too loud, others too quiet, either way she never lasted more than a week. And every time she was returned, every time she was rejected, she felt more and more blood trickle out of the wound her parents first inflicted.

It didn't end there though, then came the worst heartbreak of all.

The romantic heartbreak.

She had a high school sweetheart, as so many do. Only where others' resorted to demeaning words and passive aggressive nature, hers resorted to violence. Nate, that was his name. One he made sure she remembered as he deflowered her against her will, all whilst holding her at gun point. This kind of heartbreak was different, this time his fingers didn't just leave marks, they dug deep, ripping her heart clean in half. Leaving her open, vulnerable.

It was that vulnerability which left her so eager when Lewis came along with promises of happily ever afters. It was why she had been naive enough to believe he truly cared for her. This time she didn't struggle, this time she willingly gave in. She would only discover later when various pictures of her were circling the internet that it had all been a lie. That she had been some sort of sick game.

That was where she drew the line, the straw which broke the camels back if you will.

That was where she decided she wasn't going to let anyone else hurt her. Her heart still hadn't recovered, the half which remained being covered in punctures and tears. Anyone could've reached in and finished the job.

She wasn't going to let that happen.

And so she tended to her wounds, bandaging them tight. Hiding them from the outside world, protecting them.

Covering her struggles behind piles of cigarettes and cheap wine.

She supposed if she were to find the right person, the right medication, maybe one day she could loosen her restraints. Though she couldn't see that happening, not after all the trust she had misplaced.

In short, love is a burden and heartbreak is inevitable.

From Bailey's experience, it's best to just remain not interested.

A/N: i'm gonna be so real with you, between christmas, new year and a bunch of other stuff i've got going on, i kind of forgot this story existed; but i randomly thought about it earlier and it's now become my hyper fixation again!! so hopefully more chapters coming soon before my brain moves on to something else😭😭

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed!

Words: 627
Originally published: January 4th 2025