^^^^^^

" IT'S SO SAD. "

alexa, play HALLEY'S COMET by billie eilish

^^^^^^

"You should go tonight, Tatum. Honestly, you know? Go on, hang out with your friends, have fun. Go and be a kid, go and have that fun, you deserve to."

"Okay," I was saying every word as carefully as possible at this moment in time. "But Dad, it's at a bar. That's where we'd all be hanging out."

"But none of you would be drinking, right?" He asked, and I shrugged, determined to not lie.

"I don't know," the old New York accent made 'I don't' sound more like 'Iont'. "I mean, like, I hope so, but Liv is Liv, and also, Bri and Laina always drive each other to...unspeakable idiocy. But no, no, most of us wouldn't be drinking. Liv, Bri, Chad, and Laina are big if's."

"Well..." He was at a loss for words now, and I felt bad. "You can all hang out at the pool tables, right? And I'll sit there too, not right next to you guys, y'know, I'll keep some distance between you guys and myself, but I'll be there to keep an eye out. I know you don't like all that...drinking stuff. So you won't have to wait, in case you wanna leave, or you get uncomfortable, you can come over to me, and I'll save the day. I'll be right by your side."

"You'll stand by me?" I asked with a smile, shooting a quick glance at the television, which was purposefully playing Stand By Me. They were running off the train tracks right now.

"I'll stand by ya," he heartily chuckled and pulled me in for a side hug, which felt very nice.

Side hugs on the couch in the trailer always provided the utmost amount of comfort. Why? Well, I'd been receiving side hugs on this tweed couch since I was about eight years old. Side hugs on the tweed couch, for me, is like one of those repeated things that happens so frequently in your childhood that always provides you a source of infinite comfort. Every living organism on planet Earth has that sort of thing. Maybe it's walking along the same trail you used to bike on all the time as a child, or going to the same ice cream place and ordering what you used to order, or that one blanket that you throw over you before you fall asleep, or that one sweatshirt you would wear whenever watching Grey's Anatomy. Regardless of what that thing might be for you, you have a thing like that.

"You know what, I think...there will never be a moment in time where I can sit down, and watch this movie, and not sob uncontrollably." Dad spoke up after almost two hours of silence; I could hear his voice shaking from the stream of tears running down his face.

But I was too busy sobbing to provide him with any form of comfort. Of course, I feel bad for not providing him comfort in this moment of Crying with Mister Dwight-as trademarked by a five year old me-but this was expected. We had watched Stand By Me far too many times for it to be healthy, and although you think we would be desensitized to such a depressing movie by now, we weren't. We would simply never learn. Every time we pressed play on the DVD player, we would sob. It's simply what a classic 1980's movie does to somebody.

"It's so sad," I laughed hard enough to turn my face red, but that also might be because of my tears; I covered my face with my hands and tried to calm down.

"Oh, c'mere, Tater Tots." His use of my childhood nickname made my heart feel whole again.

At this moment in time, anyways. Two seconds and that would probably change. Dad pulled me into the second side hug of the night, and I sniffled, trying to stop the tears from raining down. My attempts, despite being plentiful, were extremely unsuccessful. I cried for a couple more minutes, holding one of his arms in its own, individual sort of hug. I probably shouldn't watch Stand By Me again if it turns me into whatever the fuck I've become at this moment in time.

"I'm scared, Dad." I whispered three of the most terrifying words for any father to hear.

It felt nice to say-it felt nice to admit fear. Of course, it didn't feel nice for Dad to hear, but at the same time, I'm sure it felt nice for him to hear me admitting this. I hope so, at least.

"That's okay, that's okay." He kissed the top of my head; I pulled back from the hug a couple of seconds later. "I'm gonna protect you." He reassured, and I let out a small laugh.

The end credits had started to roll, and with the end credits, Ben E. King's song that shared the title of the movie started to play. The lyrics added up perfectly with this moment in time, so I started swaying back and forth to the beat, wrapping my arms around my legs & pulling my knees up to my chest. The old mismatched crochet blanket was half thrown across my lap, and half on the couch-it had been on Dad's lap as well, but he let it move off of him.

"Oh, I won't...be afraid," I sang softly, doing my best to smile through the drying tears. "Just as long as you stand, stand by me."

Dad took my extended hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as tears made his eyes shine. I still felt bad, but now my hope was that he was only crying over Stand By Me, and nothing else. But his smile through his tears made me feel hopeful.

"So darlin', darlin'," we began to softly sing in sync, "Stand by me, oo-ooh, stand by me. Oh stand, stand by me. Stand by me."

I gave his hand a squeeze, and I think it got to be too much for him, because he let my hand go and stood up, walking towards our small kitchen area with his hands wringing nervously together. Right now was most certainly one of those moments where he just needed a second by himself, and I would most certainly respect what he needed in this moment. I kept on singing the lyrics to myself; when I no longer felt the need to sing, I let my head rest on the back of the couch and moved it side to side to the beat of the music. I was soaking this moment in, so it doesn't become forgettable. So it becomes stuck in my memory forever-so it becomes one of those core joyous memories in that movie Inside Out.

"I'm gonna protect you, Tatum. I mean that, I really am." Dad said once the credits were over with; a faint but genuine smile was shining on his face.

"Thank you-"

"But if you don't go and hang out with your friends, then all my promises are absolute 'fuck-its'...like, they'll be so down the drain." There that Dad smile was.

"Dad!" I laughed, and my mouth formed a perfect 'O' in disbelief and shock. "Did you just...drop the F-bomb to your daughter?"

"No, but we're going-"

"I think you did, Dad."

"I'm sorry, don't worry, I am. But you're going to go to the bar with your friends."

"No, but-"

"You're going to have fun with your friends tonight, T. I'm sorry to be grim, but this might be the last time you and your friends get to hang out again. Tara is in your friend group, and she was the first victim. The first victim's friend group always has the killers, and...well, it always has the victims."

^^^^^^

i stole the stand by me idea from euphoria but it fits for dewey and tatum so we're all gonna stfu and deal with it, okay?

okay. ty.

pleasseeee comment & lmk how y'all like this chapter <333