Fake Nerd BY sparkles_shimmer

REVIEWER: Mitali2203

➔ TITLE:

The title is well connected to the story but it didn't intrigue me, maybe it would attract a particular type of audience but the ones who look for deeper meaning would just skip it.

➔ COVER:

The font of the title is going out of the frame. The crops of Kim Taehyung and the girl (y/n) don't fit very well. Also, the space that is left out above is filled with flowers which is very random. I think you need to change the cover or approach a graphic shop (you could get one at our graphic shop). Remember, a simple cover is always good to go to.

➔ BLURB:

The blurb is something that gives a reader an insight of the book. It should be hooking and make the reader curious of what lies inside the book. Usually, a well constructed blurb is just a perfect blend of information, mystery, the conflict and a cliffhanger. Nevertheless, a blurb needs to makes a reader open the book and dive inside.

In your blurb, there were many mistakes. A reader might just skip it. It requires a lot of changes. So, here's a short analysis.

The actual blurb:

“What will happen when BTS Bully's a girl. But she turned out to be the daughter of one of the richest people in Korea. She disguises herself as a nerd. Teahyung falls in love with her. Will she accept Taehyung after he bullied her? And broke her heart in front of the whole school. Embarrassed her in front of everyone................. She was just a bet to him but then he realized that she isn't just a bet. But maybe it's too late. She'll come back for a revenge.

THE ANALYSIS:-

First of all, the name of the protagonist is wrong. It is Kim Taehyung and not Teahyung.

Now, how it should have been:

What will happen when a girl is bullied by BTS? Turns out she is the daughter of one of the richest people in Korea who disguises herself as a nerd.

Taehyung then falls in love with her. Will she accept Taehyung after he bullied her, broke her heart in front of the whole school, embarrassing her in front of everyone?

She was just a bet to him but then he realized that she is more than just a bet. But maybe he realizes it too late.
She'll come back for revenge.

Further Analysis:

There are lots of grammatical mistakes, I suggest you twist and turn the words a little. Like,‘Was she just a bet or was there something more than a mere bet? Time ticked by and maybe it's too late for him. She is coming back but for what?’

The use of ellipse wasn't necessary in the blurb as it isn't suitable there. Keep some cliffhangers in the blurb because it didn't intrigue nor interest me.

➔ FIRST IMPRESSION:

The constant change of POV in a chapter gets irritating or even frustrates a reader to close the book.

If you want to go with different POV to show the feelings of both sides, then use a POV for each chapter. The sudden change of POV after the first two lines was actually something that irritated me.

Again, an analysis for you.

First of all, the POV shifted from Y/n to author's within two lines. Secondly, the second paragraph, you messed up the POV (you can't use ‘I’ in author's POV).

Reduce the dialogues into paragraphs. It isn't a play but a book. The ‘ringggggg' and excessive ‘blah’ aren't used properly. For example, the sentences you could have used, ‘The sound of the phone resonated through the room.’ ‘Their words faded out as I zoned out. The things they told didn't interest me - so, my mind was elsewhere.

Now, refrain from using ‘976 girl’ or any other things relating to it. Write paragraphs and even narratives. Also, no description of the Y/n's house or settings were given.

Many other grammatical mistakes were spotted. It requires a lot of changes.

➔ CHARACTERS AND CHARACTERIZATION:

The characters were immature. The characterization isn't up to the mark. For example, we don't know anything about their thoughts, views or anything. These are the things that make the readers connect to the stories. Also, I felt like all other characters were overshadowed or had no role (other than setting up the prank).

The Y/N's character was all over the place. Like, she was fearless when she slapped Irene, but became cowardly when it came to Taehyung by running away which is a characterization flaw. Also her feelings for Taehyung were sudden and rushed.

Taehyung's character wasn't different from Y/n's. There were many instances when he acted differently.

You need to know how to build a character and do its characterization. Give them unique traits and gradually, build up the chemistry and relationship. A better way to detect the characterization flaws is to ask yourself, “How would my character react in this situation?”

➔ CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:

Character development is the gradual change in the behavior or the thoughts of a character but honestly, this book had none.

There was no character development and their actions seemed to be rushed. The relationship wasn't built nor was the pace right.

➔ EMOTIONAL APPEAL:

I wasn't emotionally connected to the characters. This area requires a lot of improvement. The readers should be able to feel the pain and emotions of each character. This is done through narratives and various incidents taking place.

➔ WRITING STYLE:

Every writer has a unique style of writing but you didn't have any. At times, a certain style was observed but it wasn't that vivid.

➔ GRAMMAR AND VOCABULARY:

The author needs to work on the grammatical mistakes. Though typos weren't observed, a lot of places, prepositions and other parts of speech were used in the wrong manner. Also, please work on the punctuation in the book.

The scope of vocabulary can always be increased.

➔ OVERALL:

Though the book wasn't up to the mark, the author can work on it. Get to know the different aspects of the story and work on it. Also, the side characters need to be evolved into the story. The main couple should have a chemistry between them and always have something that would instantly strike (like ‘hey' in case of ‘Red, white and royal blue')

Also, give more narratives or emotional scenes in order to hook the readers. Elaborate the settings and surroundings and refrain from using videos and pictures. Don't show us the video of a dance performance but show us the graceful moves with your words.

Lastly, I believe if the author works harder then the book can be something else or even become a great book.