"𝘽𝙀𝘾𝘼𝙐𝙎𝙀 𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀 𝙊𝙁 𝙐𝙎 𝘼𝙍𝙀 𝙃𝙐𝙈𝘼𝙉"

Five days.

Five long days.

Five days since Meilani had spoken to anyone that wasn't Isaac Lahey, her mom, Liam Dunbar or Theo Raeken. Stiles had been avoiding her like the plague, shoulders tensed and lips in a permanent sort of frown that was highly unusual for him. She'd stopped by the Stilinski house at least three times over the past five days and the Jeep had been gone every single time. It caused her a physical sort of pain to not be in contact with the one person she really wanted during this time. Her anxiety was on the fritz and Melissa had to get Meilani her own inhaler with the amount of times she'd started using Scott's from the tight feeling that never seemed to leave her lungs.

On top of that, all of her friends appeared to ghost along as if none of them existed. It was like they were all in their own separate worlds and Meilani was stuck in the middle of it all trying to figure just where the hell everything had gone wrong. It was like everything had suddenly crashed and burned around her. The fire engulfed around her like a ring and there was no way around or over it without her getting burnt in the process. She wanted to fix things so horrifically, but she didn't even know where to begin or on who to start with in the first place.

Then, Kira was gone from town, not trusting herself and the fox inside of her. Not a single text or call had come from her since she'd said goodbye to Scott a few nights ago. Another odd feeling since Kira and her had usually exchanged texts throughout the entire course of the day and not even getting a single one to even let Meilani know she was doing okay didn't settle well. Things in Beacon Hills were really sparking up and Meilani didn't even know what to do anymore. Two seconds from just collapsing to her knees and laying there.

"You sound like you're trying to apologize," Theo noted, eyebrows furrowed as he stood on the other side of the metal examination table in the animal clinic. He'd stayed silent the whole time that Meilani ranted to him about how everything was going to shit while Isaac had propped himself up on the table behind Meilani, one knee bent up towards the ceiling while his head rested back against the wall. He'd almost become a security for Meilani and she hated to admit that his presence was the only thing keeping her from fully spiraling.

"You came back looking for an alpha, Theo. I guess I'm just sorry you found me instead," Meilani admitted, slapping a hand to her side. Her curly hair was thrown up into a bun on the top of her head, dressed in a pair of leggings and one of Stiles' old flannels draped over a gray t-shirt and a jean jacket over it. "You could have literally found any other alpha, but got stuck with me."

Theo shook his head, hands leaning on the table between him and Meilani. "I'm not sorry about this, Lana. I am with you for better or worse."

Isaac scoffed softly and kicked out his leg so it stretched out before him with his other as he leant forward. "I can assure you that there's gonna be worse, pal."

Theo's blue eyes flickered over to Isaac and a coy smirk graced over his features as he shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm counting on it."

"Of course you are," Meilani breathed, shaking her head with a sigh. 

At least someone was prepared in the pack.

That day at school proved to be just like any other of the days. Meilani and Isaac would both wake up long before Scott, leave extra early to get breakfast because neither one could sleep ( thanks to Meilani ) and then showed up to school to have all of the pack acting like they didn't know who the other were. Like they didn't all have the same current problem and needed to work together not alone on this one. Not that that got anyone to look in the other's direction, only causing Meilani to shake her inhaler as her anxiety only raged further. Only making her hate that Isaac could feel her emotions even more.

Meilani had barely made it through the first two periods and found herself hiding in the boys' locker room that was empty compared to the girls' one that had a hoard of girls from the soccer team bullshitting inside of it. Not like she couldn't hear their giggles from the boys' locker room as if they were right next to her, but Meilani still felt better about not seeing them at the moment as she wanted to be alone for a hot minute and collect her thoughts. Maybe take about twenty pumps from her inhaler as the tightening feeling only grew not lessened. However, Meilani wasn't left alone long when she heard a locker open and she peeked her head around to see Liam stood at his locker, a red sports bag opened on the bench behind him as he tossed stuff inside.

"Hey, Li," Meilani greeted quietly, walking slowly over to him as she fiddled with the inhaler in her hand. She tilted her head when Liam quickly zipped up the sports bag as she neared and she furrowed her eyebrows. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," was Liam's immediate response as he stood closer to the sports bag. "What are you doing?"

Meilani laughed softly and licked her lips, stepping closer to him as she eyed him in worry. "Just remember that it's a full moon tomorrow, yeah? Are you starting to feel it already? It's a supermoon, which means it's gonna be closer to the Earth. . . "

"Yeah, I know what it means," Liam cut across Meilani, avoiding eye contact as he stared down at his feet with his hands tucked deep into his jacket pockets.

"And just remember that I'm here for you. If you need me to be with you tomorrow, I will be," Meilani promised genuinely, her own hands stuffing into her jacket as if needing to do something more with her hands.

Liam scoffed softly and slammed his locker door closed as his jaw ticked. "What? Gonna chain me to the tree again?"

Meilani furrowed her eyebrows, hurt suddenly blossoming in her chest but she quickly shoved it to the side and shook her head. "All I mean was, it might be a good idea to stay together, you know? So we can protect each other.

Liam rolled his eyes and snatched his sports bag up off the bench as he turns away from Meilani, suddenly joining the rankings of the pack that were veering off to be on their own. To push themselves away instead of trying to stick together and work it out. A feeling that only made Meilani want to drown in her anxiety even more.

Her pack was falling apart and she didn't even know how or if she could stop it.

Meilani's day only seemed to go more and more down the drain as Corey had suddenly bled black everywhere all over himself and Mason. They'd been in the work out room when Corey had started to drip from his nose before it began to come from both his nose and mouth, causing an even more panicky Mason to call the ambulance. Meilani and Theo had been in the middle of a class, a class where Theo had began to tell her something that he knew before Meilani had froze at the sound of the ambulance alarm. 

Now lead to Meilani sitting in the front seat of Theo's car as she they sped through the town of Beacon Hills with Isaac sat in the back, having showed up outside with the rest of the school when Corey was taken into the back of the ambulance. She chewed the inside of her lip as her fingers brushed over her inhaler and turned to glance over at Theo.

"What did you want to tell me in class?"

Theo's gaze diverted from the road for a brief moment to smile softly at Meilani before shaking his head and turned his attention back to the road where it belonged. "It can wait, Lana. This really might not be the best place to start."

Meilani tilted her head as she looked to Isaac for help, but he merely shrugged as he didn't really know what to do about it either. She chewed the inside of her lip nervously as her eyes focused back on Theo. "What? You think I'll be angry? You know you can talk to me, right?"

Theo sighed heavily and tugged a hand through his hair as he slouched back against his seat, jerking his chin in the direction of the glove compartment. "Check the glove compartment." His eyes bounced between the road and Meilani as he watched timidly reach forward and prop open the compartment to reveal a wrench that Meilani slowly removed from inside. "It belonged to Stiles. He dropped it at the school."

Meilani stared at the tool in her hand that had Stiles' scent all over it and her heart rate quickened as she already knew that she wasn't going to like whatever Theo had to say. "Dropped it when, Theo? Stop speaking in freakin' riddles here."

"When he killed Donovan," Theo replied quietly, hands tightening on his heel as if pained he had to be the one to tell Meilani.

Meilani's whole world stopped spinning for a long moment, her eyes focused on the tool in her hand as her knuckles whitened around it. Her brain screamed at her that Stiles would have never killed Donovan. That Stiles Stilinski could never hurt a single soul in his entire life. That her boyfriend couldn't be the reason Donovan was dead. She gulped down the bile that rose in her throat as she couldn't tear her eyes off the tool, barely feeling as Isaac reached forward to squeeze her shoulder to give her some comfort. "What are you talking about, Theo?"

"You know he hurt his shoulder, right? You smelled the blood."

"Yeah, but that was the Jeep," Meilani countered, finally snapping her gaze from the tool in her hand and over to Theo. "He said the Jeep's hood fell on him."

"No, no, no. That was Donovan. He went after Stiles at the library. I only saw the end of it and when I saw what Stiles was doing . . .I couldn't stop him, Lana. It was self defense and I shouldn't be telling you this anyway. You should hear it from your own boyfriend . . . "

"Tell me," Meilani begged, eyes suddenly wide as her chest heaved with nerves and she turned in her seat to face Theo as Isaac's hand fell to the center console between Theo and Meilani. "I - I need you to tell me."

Theo stared at her in shock for a brief moment, expecting her to want to talk to Stiles about this instead of him. So did Meilani, if she were honest, but she was so riddled with anxiety and nerves that she needed to know all the details right then. She could find Stiles later and ask him about what happened, but for now . . . she had Theo that had been there. At least he could give her pieces of what happened to hold her off until she could get to Stiles. "Um . . . I saw Donovan go down. Stiles hit him with the wrench and then he just . . . he just kept hitting him. Uh, maybe it was because he threatened to kill his dad. Or maybe Stiles thought he had to keep going to defend himself, but he just . . . he kept hitting him."

Meilani shook her head as an incredulous laugh left her lips, hand running her face. "No, that can't be. Stiles - Stiles wouldn't do that. He couldn't do that. To anyone. Ever. He barely even kills spiders."

"He crushed the kid's skull, Lana," Theo remarked, frowning softly at her as tears threatened to spill from his own eyes. As if in pain at seeing Meilani in pain or that the scene he'd seen for himself was too traumatic for him. "I heard it cracking and splintering. By the time I pulled Stiles off him, half of Donovan's head was caved in. It didn't even look real. I keep telling myself that it was self defense . . . it was self defense, but . . . Lana, I'm sorry. I have never seen anything like it and I have never seen anyone that angry before." He let out a shuddering breath as he sniffled and blinked the moisture from his eyes. "You . . . you should talk to your boyfriend. You have to talk to him."

Meilani was silent for the rest of the drive to the hospital to see Corey. Her eyes trained on the wrench in her hands as her brain flew in a million different directions. She didn't want to believe that Stiles had killed Donovan. He couldn't have. Not her Stiles. He was the sweetest boy on the planet and Meilani couldn't see him killing anyone ever. However, her mind also replayed over the last few conversations where he'd tried to ask her if self defense was justifiable for death. Or the way he'd specifically hid her from seeing his shoulder that he'd so clearly hurt but wouldn't let her heal no matter how much she begged him.

None of it made sense.

Meilani wasn't given much more time to think everything over as Theo pulled into the hospital parking lot and the three wolves rushed into the hospital to see the entrance a mess. To their right was an older man toppled over out of his wheelchair with the the wheelchair on its side and the wheels still spinning. In the back corner near the nurse's station, a nurse helped another man back to his seat in the waiting room chairs while a few other chairs laid on their sides haphazardly.

"They're already here," Isaac noted, stood between Theo and Meilani as his own eyes scanned the sight of the entrance. "This isn't gonna end well."

Meilani slowly stepped around the mess that was the waiting room and turned to face the corridor at the end, her eyes wide at the mess of knocked over patients and doctors that ran back and forth to help them. "This wasn't the doctors, Isaac. This was Corey."

"We should split up and see if we can find him," Theo suggested, eyes flickering around the mess of people that littered around the hospital corridor. "We'll find him quicker if we do it that way."

"Theo's right," Meilani sighed heavily with a curt nod, glancing over her shoulder to the boys. "We split up and meet back in the middle. Just find each other's scents."

After receiving silent nods of agreement from Theo and Isaac, the trio split up around the hospital. Thankfully, Meilani had gotten Corey's scent when he had been at her house and she used it to try and scope him out. She'd run around just about every single hallway and room, but Corey's scent didn't show up in a single one of them. It only left her with more questions than answers and she met back up with the boys a few minutes alter to see they hadn't gotten much luck on their ends either.

"Security's still looking," Meilani informed, having heard it in passing as she rushed around the hospital. She glanced over her shoulder when the elevator behind her began to open and close repeatedly while the lights above them began to flicker endlessly. Dread filled her body as she gulped, eyes fixated on the malfunctioning elevator. 

Theo was right. This wasn't ending well.

Meilani sat in the pouring rain, perched on her motorbike as she sat on it side ways while her mind worked rapidly. The doctors hadn't showed up at the hospital, but they did show up at the underground lounge that Hayden worked in and attacked both Liam and Hayden that had been there. Meilani, Theo and Isaac had showed up in time to save Liam from being hurt, but unfortunately, one of the doctors got to Hayden and injected her with a needle. For the moment, she had appeared okay, but Meilani had all but begged Theo to take the teens to the animal clinic while she took off on her own for the clinic, calling Stiles and Scott on the way. She wasn't even sure how she'd gotten through the phone call with Stiles as her mind kept playing Theo's words over and over, but she did it.

The sound of Stiles' Jeep approaching alerted Meilani and she slowly slid off the bike the second the Jeep stopped in the parking spot she'd been parked in front of. Stiles nor Scott noticed Meilani's tense demeanor as they both hopped out of the Jeep and into the pouring rain along with Meilani who was already soaking wet from being out in the rain for the past few minutes while she waited for the boys. "Hey, babe. I'm sorry we're late. Had trouble starting Roscoe up again since the thing is barely hanging on at this point. We couldn't get in touch with Malia or Lydia."

Scott's eyes froze on his sister as she stood before the boys with her hands stuffed deep into her jacket pockets as she bounced on her boot covered feet. Her curled hair was plastered to the sides of her face from the rain and her eyes wet with either rain water or tears, Meilani wasn't even sure at this point. He could see the way she hand shrank in on herself, something clearly on her mind as she tried to avoid the boys' eyes. "Mei? What's going on?"

Meilani sniffled as she took her hand out from her pocket to reveal the wrench that clearly belonged to his Stiles. His eyes had instantly zeroed in on the tool as he tensed visibly at the sight. Her dull eyes finally met with Stiles' hazel ones and she held it out to him as he took it gingerly. "Think you dropped something. Why didn't you tell me?" 

Stiles spit rain water from his mouth as he gripped the tool in his hand, staring down at it as if he wanted to chuck it far away from him. "I was going to, baby, I swear."

Meilani's jaw worked and her eyes didn't drift from Stiles as hurt blossomed on her face. "Why didn't you tell me when it happened? Since when do you hide shit from me?"

"I couldn't."

"You killed him?" Meilani asked, praying to every single god in existence that Stiles would tell her she's wrong. That he wasn't even there when Donovan died and that he was home or working on the Jeep like he said and that's why his shoulder was injured. "You killed Donovan?"

Stiles scoffed and tore his gaze from the wrench and over to Meilani, staring at her incredulously. "Meilani, he was going to kill my dad. What the fuck was I supposed to do? Just let him?"

"You weren't supposed to do this, Stiles!" Meilani yelled, throwing her hands in the air as a humorless laugh left her lips. "None of us are."

Stiles stared at Meilani for a long minute, unblinking. Almost like he was giving her an opportunity to call sike and that she wasn't really yelling at him for murder. That his girlfriend didn't actually believe he would deliberately kill anyone. "You're fucking joking right now, Meilani. Right? You think I had a choice?"

"There is always a choice!" Meilani cried, not even caring that the tears now mixed in with the heavy rain water that soaked her face.

"Yeah, news flash, Meilani, I can't do what you can!" Stiles screamed, stepping closer to Meilani as the anger was visibly clear on his face. Face red with irritation as his hands curled tightly around the wrench in his hand as his eyes darkened to a color that was very unlike him. "I know you wouldn't have done it. You probably would have just figured something out, right?"

"I would have tried something!"

Stiles barked out a humorless laugh, poking his tongue into cheek as he nodded and throwing his arms in the way as they slapped to his side. "Right, because you're fucking Meilani McCall! You're the true alpha! Guess what, Meilani? All of us can't be true alphas! Some of us make mistakes. Some of us have to get our hands a little bloody sometimes. SOME OF US ARE FUCKING HUMAN, MEILANI!"

Meilani flinched at the screaming but didn't back down from him, mind trying to work through all her thoughts. Her sad eyes bounced between her very angry boyfriend and her very disappointed brother who watched the scene, clearly fully on Stiles' side with the whole thing. "So, you had to kill him?"

"Meilani, he was going to kill my dad. The man that has treated both you and Scott like his fucking own. You're gonna stand there and tell me that I shouldn't have tried to defend him?" 

"But the way that it happened . . . there is a point when it's . . . it's not self-defense anymore, Stiles."

Stiles' face dropped as he took another step closer to Meilani while the alpha only took one back away from him to keep the space, her own choked sob bubbling in her chest. "What are you even talking about? I had no other choice." He eyed Meilani for a moment and shook his head in disbelief. "You don't even believe me, do you?"

Meilani tugged a frustrated hand through her hair and growled. "I don't know who to even believe anymore, Stiles! I want to believe you, but . . . "

"Okay, alright, so . . . so believe me then, Lani," Stiles begged, his demeanor suddenly shifting to one of softness and pleading. "Say you believe me. Say it. Baby, say you believe me, please."

Meilani whimpered as she took another step back, the pain rocketing through her like a bullet train. "Stiles, we cant kill people that we are trying to save. It defeats the purpose."

Stiles took another step closer with the wrench clenched tightly in his hand and Meilani yelped, stumbling back and away from him as another sob tore through her body with her hands instinctively going up to protect herself. His face fell at the sight as his own heart tugged dangerously in his chest and he slowly tossed the tool to the side and out of his hands. "Say you believe me, Lani."

"We can't kill people! Do you believe that?" Meilani countered back as her bottom lip trembled. "We aren't murderers, Stiles. Not us."

Stiles opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish as he floundered in front of his girlfriend. His own heart tearing in two could practically be heard around them as the relationship hung drastically in the air, swinging erratically as it waited to drop down and smash into oblivion. "Well, what do I do about this? What do you want me to do, baby? Okay, just be . . . baby, just tell me how to fix this, alright? I'll do it." He cups Meilani's face gently between his hands as he steps closer to her and stares desperately between her eyes. "Lani, please, just tell me what you want me to do to fix this."

Meilani sniffled and grabbed Stiles' hands on her face as her heart sunk to her feet, causing Stiles' hands to fall back limply to his side as she stepped away from him again. She ran her jacket sleeve under her running nose of rain water and shook her head. "Don't do anything. Don't worry about Malia or Lydia because we'll find them. Maybe . . . maybe actually talk to your dad, but you can't fix this. You can't fix death, Stiles. You can't fix anything. I'm sorry." 

Without a second glance to Stiles or Scott, Meilani turned on her heel abruptly and ran her way back into the animal clinic, slamming the front door to it closed. Her forehead leant on the shut door as she stood in the darkened waiting room as the tears flowed freely down her face.

The sound of squeaking sneakers was heard and Meilani slowly looked up to see Isaac had skidded out into the waiting room with worried filled eyes the instant they landed on her small form. "Are you okay? I felt what felt like - " His words are instantly cut off as Meilani lets out a strangled sob and threw herself into his arms. He stumbled back a few steps before he righted himself as he held Meilani tightly to her, her soaked form and tears instantly soaking into his own dry ones. "Heartbreak. Lans, what happened?"

Meilani shook her head as her heart officially and completely shattered down around her feet. She wasn't even sure she'd ever be able to pick up all the pieces and put them back together completely. Or if she even had the energy to do so.

Welcome to rock bottom.

AUTHORS NOTE

i'm so sorry