CHARACTER :
Alaska Koi Ninuen
GENRE :
Angst
SCENARIO TYPE :
Coping

ー 🌸 ー

The house feels so cold.
She feels so cold.
Swimming doesn't bring her a delighted warmth anymore.

It's so cold without him.
it's so lonely without him.
it's so quiet without him.

she lays in bed wearing one of his many shirts. Her eyes absentmindedly stare at the other side of an empty bed. The bed always feels so cold and lonely now.

her hands pull his pillow towards her frame. pressing her face into it as she grips the pillow. She feels the salty tears well up in her eyes. the muffled sobbing that escapes her into the pillow. she misses him so much. she wants to be in his arms again. she wants to look at him with adoration. she wants to wake up in the morning and see him by her side. she just wants him back.

it's another cold sleepless night in bed alone. Desperately trying to think he was still there with her. That she wasn't alone in this house without him.

the next morning she's so absentminded during breakfast. she's staring off and she looks tired. she's been crying more. Her eyes are red and puffy even despite trying to reduce it. She has bags under her eyes. she hasn't even touched her food yet as she sits there. no one has it in them to ask because they knew.

it's how she is all day. so quiet and so... out if it. eventually sitting in her bed again rewatching memories. Her eyes always focused on him. She wants to see his smile. She wants to hear his laugh. she wants to feel his lips against hers again.

her eyes drift towards the engagement ring on her finger.

"We were supposed to get married you idiot. We were supposed to have a nice wedding."

her breaths are shaky as the tears drip down. It's been nine years and she still isn't over it. She couldn't move on from him. he was still out there. he said they would get married and to hell if they didn't.

she tries her best to cope again.

just... she feels so empty inside.

she feels tired.

she wants to feel his warmth again.

not the coldness.

oh how she wishes she could cope but she can't.