━ NEUROSIS ━
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE.

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IT HAD BEEN ALMOST three weeks since Laura Lee's fatal journey. Nineteen days, since the girl had left them all for good. Nineteen tragic days, of mourning the loss of one of their own. Nineteen panic-inducing days, of the conclusion setting in that death was a very real and possible outcome for either one of them.

In the time that had passed, the group's morale decreased significantly. But then again, how could it not?

All of them were forced to witness their friend's undeserving death, as well as the hope for the salvation she planned to bring them being stripped away just as fast as it was created.

Not to mention the fact that their vital source of food had grown extremely scarce as of late. For neither Natalie, nor Travis, had any luck when it came to hunting whatsoever. Which meant that—much to everyone's dislike— their meals now consisted of as many mealworms they could scavenge from the dirt.

It seemed that their luck at getting by so far had come to an end. And now, every single one of them had to swallow the chest tightening pill, which was the realisation that it might never get better.

They weren't untouchable. They weren't safe. They weren't as resourceful as they believed. And the wilderness was becoming more and more unforgiving by the day.

Laura Lee was proof of that.

Inside the cabin, everyone was spaced out around the main room, having gathered for yet another depressing meal. If you could even call it a meal.

Violet, who had perched herself in the bay window next to Lottie, held out her bowl, wearing nothing but a dull expression. She watched as Shauna approached her, her face contorting with pure disgust as the Shipman girl tipped Violet's portion of fried worms into her bowl.

She inhaled sharply as she looked down at her 'food'. But after a mere few seconds had passed, Violet averted her eyes elsewhere. The simple thought of that being in her stomach caused a wave of nausea to hit her, the Crawford girl's throat tingling as it threatened the escape of a dry heave.

Lottie frowned at the sight, not missing the way Violet swallowed thickly. She placed a gentle hand on her back, instinctively moving it up and down in an attempt to soothe her.

That seemed to be their routine recently, everytime their glorious dinner would be served. No matter how hard she tried, Violet could barely keep the food down. And on the off chance she did, the girl was always rendered feeling like crap the entire night, forced to bare with the grotesque sensation of her stomach churning for hours on end.

Lottie didn't blame her for it, nobody did, it wasn't exactly anybody's ideal choice of food. However, Lottie would be lying if she said she wasn't growing more and more concerned for Violet by the day.

After countless nights of holding back her hair, hearing her stomach growling, practically begging, for something else to be eaten, it seemed her lack of nutrition was starting to show more than others.

Violet easily grew tired, drowsy and dizzy. Shadowed bags decorated the skin underneath her eyes. Her spine was becoming more and more prominent every time Lottie would touch her. Her face didn't hold the same signature warmth. It was as if her exhaustion, her malnutrition, had stripped her of any light.

And it scared the shit out of Lottie. She had no idea how to help her. How to make it better. Because this was it. This was all they had to stay fed. And Violet simply couldn't ingest it. Not enough to keep her sustained.

"I, uh, cooked them longer this time. So they're not as... chewy." Shauna tried to ease Violet's revulsion. "I know you hate the texture, so hopefully that'll help?"

Violet's lips tugged to a half-smile at the girl's words. "Thanks Shipman."

Shauna sent her a nod, mirroring the Crawford girl's smile in response before moving to Lottie and scraping her portion of food into her bowl.

"Thank you." Lottie said, briefly glancing at Violet before speaking up again quietly. "And thank you, for trying my idea."

"Of course." Shauna followed Lottie's previous gaze, a faint frown gracing her lips. "I want her to keep it down as much as you do."

Shauna and Lottie shared a small smile before the Shipman girl made her way towards Akilah to dish up the remaining worms to her bowl.

Lottie turned back to Violet, shuffling closer to the girl whose eyes were flicking back and forth between the floor and the contents of her bowl.

Violet could feel eyes on her, her favourite pair of eyes. She let out a sigh before speaking. "It won't work, y'know."

"It might." Lottie tried. "How about this time we try... pretending you're eating crispy bacon. Shauna said she cooked it longer this time so, it's close enough I guess?"

"God, I'd fucking kill to eat some crispy bacon right now." Violet groaned. "Fuck, I miss bacon. I love bacon."

Lottie chuckled a little at her words. "I know you do. Which is why, we're gonna pretend that's what it is."

"Impossible." Violet shook her head. "This could never live up to bacon. Actually, that's pretty offensive to compare the two."

"We'll still try." Lottie urged gently, ignoring Violet's attempt to switch the topic with humour. "You need to eat, Vi. You haven't kept anything down for almost two days."

"I know, but I just..." Violet let out a sigh. "What's the point? It'll just come straight back up again."

"Please try. Please. For me?" Lottie placed her hand over Violet's. She knew it wasn't the best, using herself as an incentive to get Violet to eat. But at this point it was necessary. "I need you to eat something Violet."

Violet glanced down at her food, Lottie's words swirling around her mind and drawing out a sharp inhale. She knew Lottie was right, she did have to eat something. Every minute that passed by without giving her body any nutrition was just causing her health to decline more and more.

"Fine." She released the breath she was holding. "But don't complain if you're holding my hair back again later."

"Did I complain all the other times?" Lottie quipped.

"Well..." Violet pursed her lips. "No."

"Exactly." Lottie shrugged. "Then you have nothing to worry about. All I care about is that you're okay."

Violet smiled at that, feeling warmth spread throughout her body at Lottie's unconditional care. After a few more seconds of staring at the fried worms, needing more time to work herself up, she eventually picked one from out the bowl, holding it up and turning to Lottie.

"Can you eat one too?" Violet asked, her nose practically turning up at the sight of the food. "I think it'll be easier if—" However, her expression softened the moment she realised Lottie already had the same idea, the Matthews girl waiting patiently with a worm in her hand.

"If we eat dinner together? I think so too." Lottie smiled warmly. "We're practically on a date, if you think about it."

Violet hummed, amused. "Riiiight, cause this is what I'd do for our first official date. Worms. And no privacy."

"What do you mean?" Lottie grinned. "We're literally wining and dining right now."

"No. Nope. Absolutely not. You're not counting this as a date." Violet chuckled. "That's even worse than the bacon idea."

"Wow, you really don't want this date, huh?" Lottie raised a brow teasingly. "Should I be offended?"

"No, you should be flattered actually." Violet shrugged.

"Really, you think so?"

"I do, yeah."

"Hmm, I don't know. I don't feel pretty flattered right now."

"But you will." Violet reached out, poking Lottie's shoulder. "Because our first date is gonna be much better than this shit show."

"I'll hold you to that." Lottie smiled widely at her declaration. "Now shush and eat your bacon."

Further across the room Shauna sat down beside Jackie, after finally dishing up everyone's food. The Taylor girl sat with her legs crossed, silently staring at the lit fireplace as her fingers idly tapped the rim of her bowl.

"Is she eating?" Jackie mumbled her question with such little volume that Shauna couldn't make out what she had said.

"What?" Shauna moved her head down, trying to catch Jackie's eyes in an attempt to hear her better since the girl didn't bother to look at her.

Jackie huffed, annoyed she'd have to repeat herself. She was already ticked off that she wanted to ask the question in the first place.

"I said," Jackie turned to look at Shauna. "Is she eating?"

"Oh right, uh," Shauna started. "Well, she's gonna try to. Hopefully her stomach will actually let her keep it down this time."

"Good. That's good. Hopefully she'll—" The Taylor girl paused, catching herself before the sentence could be finished. "—Not throw up again. It's fucking gross."

Shauna's brows scrunched. "I'm pretty sure she'd rather not throw up, Jackie. It's not like she can help it."

Jackie's lips parted briefly, as if she was going to respond. But instead she moved her gaze back towards the fire, suddenly seeming uninterested in their conversation. Whether it was sincere disinterest or not, Shauna couldn't tell.

However, upon noticing that Jackie also seemed to have no interest in even attempting to stomach her meal, she huffed. "Jax, you have to eat too, y'know."

Jackie scoffed before responding to the girl. "Why? What does it matter at this point?"

The sound of Mari's bowl clunking against the floor drew everyone's attention towards her, the group now watching as the girl rose to her feet.

"Okay, I—I can't do this anymore." Mari breathed out.

The girl made her way over to the pantry, rustling around in search of something for a few moments before rejoining the others. As she returned, she brought a jar along with her, the container being filled with a plum shaded liquid.

Ben's brows furrowed in confusion. "What is that?"

"It was some berries I was trying to save, but, I think it might've turned into booze?" Mari replied. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I could use a drink."

Taissa was the next to chime in, the girl's face contorting in skepticism. "Do we think it's safe?"

"Do we care?" Ben said honestly.

"I have a few more." Mari informed the group.

"How many?" Violet asked, subconsciously eating another worm.

Lottie took note of the action instantly. It seemed Violet didn't even notice what she did, having been too distracted with the conversation at hand. But Lottie remained silent, she didn't want to draw attention towards it, just in case the Crawford girl suddenly became repulsed.

So instead, Lottie continued to eat, quietly relishing in her own relief and sense of proudness she felt towards Violet for keeping down her food for this long.

"Four? Maybe five?" Mari answered, her lips twisting in thought.

"If we have booze, let's have a party." Jackie spoke up.

"Yeah." Taissa rolled her eyes. "'Cause we've got so much to celebrate."

"Do we need a reason?" Jackie offhandedly remarked. "We're gonna be dead in a few weeks."

Everyone turned silent quickly, basking in the weight of Jackie's words. Yet again another reminder that right now, with the way things were going, it was a very possible outcome for them all.

Misty cleared her throat after a few beats. "There's a full moon tomorrow night."

"And it's almost homecoming." Akilah mentioned.

"We packed dresses, right?" Lottie asked. "For the awards dinner?"

Violet's eyes went wide suddenly. "Shit! I forgot to pack my—"

"No you didn't." Lottie shrugged. "I packed it for you before we left for the airport. I had a feeling you'd forgotten, so."

"The red or black—"

"Black dress." Lottie answered with a subtle grin. "You... prefer that one more, so."

"You're right... I do. Thank you." Violet smiled at Lottie, raising a knowing brow at the girl's words before turning to the others, lifting her hands a little in surrender. "False alarm."

"There we go." Jackie spoke up once more. "We have dresses, we have booze. We can decorate. Have a sort of... moon homecoming."

"More like a doom homecoming." Taissa uttered sarcastically. The sound of rustling behind her caught the girl's attention and she looked over her shoulder, frowning at the sight of Van getting up from her seat and leaving the room.

Lottie pursed her lips in thought. "A doomcoming."

Natalie laughed at the title tomorrow's event had been given. "Now that's a party idea."

Violet chuckled. "Doomcoming. I like it. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"Alright. Doomcoming. Tomorrow night." Jackie nodded along. "We'll drink rotten berries and celebrate our impending death."

"Wow, such a charming—" Violet paused abruptly, instantly clutching her stomach at the all too familiar feeling that had been plaguing her the last couple of weeks. "Oh for fuck sake..."

Lottie's posture instantly straightened, the girl setting down her own bowl and shuffling to Violet's side. "Are you gonna—"

The Matthews girl's question was quickly confirmed as Violet got to her feet, hurriedly making her way outside the cabin with a frazzled Lottie not far behind

"Oh! Okay, yep you are. Aaand we're going outside."

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THE NEXT DAY DAWNED upon the group quickly, the countdown for their very own doomcoming becoming shorter and shorter by the second.

For the first time in weeks, the group had finally found something to look forward to. And, for now, it seemed as if the overbearing somber cloud that had been looming over them faded away.

Because even if it was only one night, it still filled them all with a sense of purpose, something nobody had felt in a long time.

The group all passed the time by gathering whatever they could find to decorate the cabin for the occasion, as well as the small clearing in the forest where they planned to host their event.

They even took it upon themselves to craft different accessories for their outfits of the night. Using flowers, sticks and small strands of rope to make bracelets along with floral crowns.

It wasn't exactly five-star fashion, but for the resources they had it wasn't bad at all. And besides, the process of putting everything together was actually quite fun.

As everyone continued their work for the night's upcoming festivities, Shauna and Jackie decided to search the forest, in hopes of finding berries. Or, simply anything other than mealworms.

The journey had been filled with nothing but strangely awkward silence and, well, nothing, as no berries had been spotted by either of the girls. And only time Jackie opted to speak was in response to Shauna inquiring if she had found anything or not.

Shauna didn't understand why Jackie had been acting the way she had recently. But quite frankly, it was starting to get on her nerves. The lack of conversation, the walking on eggshells around her, the change in attitude to not only her, but Violet too. She was sick of it.

The Shipman girl couldn't help but let out a defeated sigh, releasing her hold on the small branch she had previously been inspecting. "You find anything?"

From behind the girl, Jackie stared at the back of Shauna's head with pursed lips.

In truth, she hadn't checked for berries in the last few minutes. Instead she had been silently mulling over which topic to bring up next that would make Shauna uncomfortable, wondering to herself how long it would take for the Shipman girl to give up her endless spout of lies.

"Y'know, it's probably rush week at Rutgers right now." Jackie ignored Shauna's question. "You ever think about what we'd be doing if we hadn't crashed? Like, we'd be going to so many parties."

Shauna looked over her shoulder with furrowed brows, confused by the sudden topic change. "Yeah... I guess. I don't really think about it."

"Right." Jackie formed a tight-lipped smile, her gaze following Shauna as the girl continued walking. "Well, it's all I think about. What if this is it Shauna? Everything we did— Everything we didn't do... All the mistakes that we made, it's like, permanent."

A light scoff slipped past Shauna's lips at her words. "What mistakes did you make? Everybody loved you."

Jackie chuckled wryly. "Well, I was naive. I realise that now." Her eyes narrowed subtly as she looked at her so called best friend. "So, I've decided... I'm not gonna die a virgin."

"What?" Shauna's face contorted, completely stopping in her tracks. "With who?"

Jackie nodded her head towards the cabin, proudly adorning a sly grin on her face. Shauna followed her gaze, her eyes widening when they landed upon a certain Crawford girl sat on the porch making decorations with Lottie and Mari.

"Are you serious?" Shauna scolded, turning back to her. "What about Lottie?"

"Ha. No thanks." Jackie quipped. "Too crazy for me."

"You know what I mean." Shauna huffed. "You can't do that to her. Besides, I thought you had gotten over everything with Violet—"

"Relax, Shipman." Jackie rolled her eyes, inhaling sharply as she prepared her next sentence. "I don't mean Violet. That whole thing was... stupid. I, uh, don't think about it anymore, anyway."

"Then who are you talking about?"

Jackie pointed once more to the cabin, this time specifically at the Martinez boy.

Shauna gripped the bridge of her nose in frustration. "Jackie, no. What about Nat?"

"He and Nat broke up weeks ago. They're hardly speaking." Jackie shrugged.

"Yeah but—"

"What?" Jackie pouted, her tone infused with faux worry. "Do you... like him? 'Cause, I mean, God knows I would never want us competing for the same guy."

Shauna remained silent, looking at Jackie with nothing but pure confusion. Whatever was going on, whatever had caused this sudden shift in the girl, she didn't care for it one bit. She didn't like this Jackie. This wasn't the Jackie she knew. This wasn't her best friend.

"Coming up on the end of the world, Shipman." Jackie patted Shauna's shoulder. "Time to pull out all the stops."

And with that, Jackie walked back towards the cabin, leaving a bewildered Shauna behind.

⋆༺♱༻⋆

THE LAST HOUR OR SO had been spent by the girls getting ready, as their very own doomcoming was right around the corner.

And now that she had finished her makeup, along with changing into her dress and curling her hair with socks— yes, socks— Violet made her way up the ladders to the attic, being careful not to damage the items clutched in her hand.

As she reached the top and got to her feet, Violet moved her hands behind her back with a grin. Lottie who was across the room, looked over her shoulder at the sound of footsteps behind her. And the moment she saw Violet, a wide smile spread across her face with ease, nothing but pure awe behind the girl's eyes.

"Oh, hi." Violet said coyly. "What a coincidence seeing you up here."

"I know, right." Lottie grinned. "It's almost as if I didn't hear you downstairs asking where I was."

"Me? Pshh, no." Violet began walking towards her. "You must be hearing things."

Lottie gasped in faux shock. "Aw crap, not again."

Violet chuckled at Lottie's words, as Lottie did herself. Once Violet drew closer to the Matthews girl, her eyebrows raised slightly, taking in the sight of her dress. Well— not her dress, Laura Lee's dress.

"Your dress." Violet spoke. "Is that...?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." Lottie looked down at her own attire. "I don't know I just thought... it would be a way to honour her? Do you think it's weird? If it is then I can just—"

"No, no." Violet assured. She moved the items in her hold to one hand so she could reach down and intertwine her now free hand with Lottie's. "I think it's a great idea."

"Really?" Lottie met Violet's gaze timidly. "So you don't think I—"

"I think you look beautiful." Violet squeezed Lottie's hand, smiling softly at the Matthews girl. "You are beautiful."

A stupidly wide smile was quick to appear on Lottie's lips, her cheeks flushing almost instantly at Violet's words. "I think you look beautiful too. Perfect, even."

"Perfect, huh?" Violet narrowed her eyes playfully. "You trying to one up me, Matthews?"

Lottie pursed her lips, a slight grin appearing after a few moments. "Maybe... but hey it's the truth!"

Violet let out a light chuckle as she shuffled closer, releasing her grip on Lottie's hand so she could re-hold the items behind her back. "I may or may not have a present for you."

"Oooo." Lottie wiggled her brows. "I like presents."

Violet smiled, taking a deep breath to distract herself from her sudden nerves before moving the items in front of her to show Lottie.

The Matthews girl looked down at Violet's hands, her body practically buzzing with excitement. And when she took note of what Violet was holding, well, she could've sworn she felt her heart practically melt right there in that very moment.

A bouquet of flowers, along with a few paper ones had been put together by Violet, tied comfortably at the stems by some rope adorning a bow. To others, it may not have been much, a simple idea even, but to Lottie it was so much more.

Because every single flower that was apart of the cluster were Lottie's favourites, whether that be from offhanded comments she'd made in the past or simply one's she'd pointed out in the forest.

Other people may have nodded along, only half listened and forgotten about it later on. But not Violet. No. Violet listened, truly listened. She remembered. Every single one. And she had gone out of her way to find them, to even make some of her own. Just for Lottie.

All for Lottie.

"I know orchids are your favourite, but there aren't any here so..." Violet explained. "Shauna let me borrow some paper from her journal and I made some. I know they don't look exactly like them but—"

Lottie didn't allow Violet to finish her sentence, for before she could the Matthews girl cut her off with a kiss. And by the way she felt Violet's lips tug into a smile against hers, it was clear she didn't mind.

She pulled away after a few moments, cupping the Crawford girl's face. "I love them. Just like you, they're perfect."

Violet rolled her eyes playfully, letting out a light breathy laugh as she turned her head to kiss Lottie's palm. "One upping me again? God Matthews, have you no shame?"

"When it comes to you?" Lottie teased. "Probably not, no. Whoops."

"Well, I'm afraid your streak is about to end because... I also want to ask you something before we leave..." Violet started.

"Oh do you now?"

"I do, yeah. It's pretty groundbreaking too."

"Then the floor is all yours. Ask me. Please."

"Will you... Lottie Matthews... do me the honour of being my date to—"

"Yes." Lottie answered quickly, making Violet laugh.

"Aw." Violet pouted jokingly. "I love it when you let me finish my sentences."

"I got too excited." Lottie grinned sheepishly. "But yes! I would love to, Vi. The honour is all mine."

Violet hummed in faux thought. "I'll allow it, because of that last sentence."

Lottie cheered, kissing Violet's cheek before pulling away with an excited gleam behind her eyes. "Now, I have a present for you."

"You didn't have to, Lot. I don't need anything—" Violet paused briefly, pursing her lips. She did like presents... "Show me."

"Thought you might say that." Lottie laughed softly. "I was looking through my suitcase earlier and I found something that I think is better with you. I thought it'd been lost weeks ago but..."

Lottie turned to face Violet once more, holding up her hand. It was a gold necklace which dangled from her fingertips, the jewellery piece holding onto a small emerald stone at the bottom of the thin dainty chain.

"I couldn't take that from you, Lot. Not now that you've found it." Violet shook her head. "You used to wear that all the time."

"And now I want you to wear it." Lottie moved behind Violet, brushing her curls to the side before positioning the necklace around her neck. "I can't give you nearly enough to show how I much I care about you, not out here, not like this. But when I found this I thought... it would be as if I'm giving you a piece of me. To always be with you. You deserve more, I know that. But I also want you to know that one day, when we're away from here, I'll give you that."

Once the necklace had been clasped, Violet spun to face Lottie. The Matthews girl smiled widely at the sight of the necklace resting against Violet's chest, reaching out a twisting the chain around her finger.

"See? Much better on you." Lottie looked up at Violet. "Besides, I guess it's a less creepy way of saying you can't get rid of me now."

Violet bit the inside of her cheek, and in an attempt to hide the blush on her cheeks from Lottie's compliment. She gripped Lottie's jaw gently, placing a soft, yet lingering kiss against her lips before speaking up.

"Get rid of you? Oh I could never." Violet pulled back, but her hold on Lottie's jaw remained as her eyes bounced around the girls face. "I'm far from done with you, Matthews."

Lottie raised a brow, a small grin worming its way onto her lips. "Far from done?"

Violet hummed, trailing a few quick kisses along her jaw. Lottie found her eyes fluttering briefly at the sensation, her hand making its way up to Violet's wrist and gripping it as if for support. It wasn't long before Violet came to a stop— much to Lottie's disappointment— at her ear and whispered once more,

"Far from done."

The Crawford girl pulled away, wearing a proud smirk as she took in Lottie's sudden flustered state. She chuckled quietly, simply moving Lottie's hair behind her ears before letting out a content sigh.

Who's one-upped who now?

"Oh would you look at the time." Violet shrugged. "We're late. I guess we'll have to go now."

Lottie blinked, clearing her throat before replying. "Now? Like, right now?"

"Right now, yes." Violet nodded, amusement behind her gaze. "Can't keep the others waiting, can we?"

And with that, Violet tugged along a still flustered Lottie with her out of the basement to regroup with the others.

It wasn't long before they all ventured into the forest, looking proudly upon their works along the way.

Trees had been wrapped in fabric and ribbon they'd found, along with it dangling from branches and swaying in the wind. Fire lit torches had been placed in the ground, the amber glow providing the perfect warm lighting for when the sun would eventually set.

They all handed out numerous crowns made from sticks and flowers for everyone to wear, though Javi, Travis and Ben opted not to take one for themselves. And once everyone deemed themselves ready, they all gathered around the makeshift archway, ready to make their grand entrances.

Lottie looked to Javi, giving the boy a nod. Javi picked up on the cue and used a nearby branch to hit a piece of metal from the plane. And just like that, their night had started.

The Matthews girl glanced around at the group with a smile, lighting a candle before speaking to them all.

"Let the doomcoming begin!"

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[ AUTHORS NOTE ! ]

i'm so excited for the next chapters RAAAH

[ not proofread ! ]